She hated this position. Peter would lie there and make Catherine ride him. After she had the boys, she preferred to lie on her back without him seeing her damaged body. Her large breasts no longer sprouted upward as they did in college. Their last few times together, she kept her T-shirt on, lights off, under the covers. It’s remarkable they conceived Emily.
Bright sunlight poured from the skies, dapples of sun trickled though the leaves flickering on her breasts while she sat there fully exposed. She wanted to hide.
“That’s more like it,” he howled. “I could not see those huge tits of yours the other way.” He reached up and grabbed her breasts, still sore from earlier. “Harder Catherine. Hammer away at me.”
She tried to shift back and forth. Did she do this correctly at least? He released her breasts, clutched her butt and heaved her into him. Apparently not. When she figured out the rhythm, he let go of her cheeks, tugged both breasts back down and shoved one in his mouth.
Catherine glided back and forth as hard as she could. He felt good inside her. She let herself go. She moaned and let the noise sail through the vast backyard. He screamed too, loud enough for any passerby to hear.
“Yes, Catherine. That’s it, louder.”
She whimpered and squealed no longer afraid someone would hear. They both cried out, huffing and gasping for air. Her pain replaced with intense pleasure. She freed her mind, imagined the girl she saw in the mirror at the lingerie store, sat up, put her hands on her breasts and squeezed them for him. He let out a final roar, drove himself into her one last time, and convulsed.
Catherine reversed out of his driveway, still shaking. She drove a few blocks until she found a wooded area. She parked her car along the curb next to the tall pines and cut the ignition.
She peered down the road, hands trembled around the steering wheel, and gasped for air. Catherine rolled down the window, still sensing the intense throbbing between her legs. She unzipped her pants, placed her fingers inside her pulsing flesh like she had done in the dressing room and huffed in large gulps of air. Her mouth quivered and spun out saliva with each puff of air, then the tears began to fall. She was going to hell in a hand-basket for sure.
Chapter 33
Victoria
Jean called in sick. The first time since anyone could remember. At 10 o’clock in the morning, Victoria led the way to their corner table in the cafeteria. The silence in the vast room, eerie.
It took until the three of them finished their coffees to calm down enough to relax and not expect Jean to interrupt their conversation. The cool autumn air entered into their lives and Victoria was excited about her first fireplace rendezvous.
“Next weekend is the 10K race,” Victoria began, “I can’t believe how fast the summer flew by.”
“I thought you and Aiden were going to train for it. What ever happened to that?” Heather dumped her napkin into the empty coffee cup.
“Please, I think we more than accomplish our exercise requirements for the week.”
“I thought the point was to train and run the race together,” Catherine said.
“Initially he suggested it, more as an excuse to see me, but once our relationship progressed, running was the last thing on our mind.”
“Relationship?” Catherine’s eyes squinted.
Victoria drank the last sip of her cold coffee to avoid her question.
“What do you mean by relationship? I thought this was just sex, an escape.”
“Of course. I just meant we didn’t need an excuse to get together anymore, we have our routine now. After the Board of Directors meetings, on Saturdays when Ed works, my days off from here, and of course the occasional Jean-made-me-stay-late evenings.”
“But what did you mean by relationship? I wouldn’t consider what Mangle and I have a relationship.”
Victoria didn’t consider what Catherine and Mangle had a relationship either. Persuading her to come over when it was convenient for him, making her rearrange her plans and upset her schedule to satisfy his needs. “What
do
you call what the two of you have?” Victoria shifted the focus back to Catherine.
“It’s an awakening. A discovery of who I am, releasing my inhibitions, experimenting, seeing what I’m capable of.”
Catherine was capable all right. Capable of giving him blow jobs on her lunch hour in deserted parking lots. How low did you have to go to prove your worth to someone? Shouldn’t it be equal?
“And what’s he doing for you?” Heather piped in.
“Are you kidding? I had serious sex phobias. In one day, he set all my fears free. I wouldn’t let my own husband see me naked. I spent the past month having sex in broad day light in the center of his wide-open living room, on his lounge chair on the pool deck, and not to mention skinny-dipping in his pool. He believed in me enough to stay by my side and guide me. I was pathetic.”
“No you weren’t,” Victoria said. The way Catherine shifted his gluttonous perverted needs to some badge of honor, that he was helping her transform herself,
that
was pathetic.
“You are acting differently at work though,” Heather said. “That much I have to say. You seem more alive.”
“I am, thanks to you Heather. You opened my eyes and changed my world.”
“Please stop saying that.” Heather looked over at Susie wiping down the tables for the lunch crowd.
“Why not? You helped all of us. Last spring the three of us were miserable. Now we’re euphoric and triumphant woman!”
“Catherine, do you realize what you’re doing, what we’re all doing? This isn’t right.”
“What do you mean? You said you needed an outlet.”
“Yeah, but where is this going, what are we really doing, what’s the goal?”
Catherine laughed like a pretentious bitch that just found out that she won the PTA mom of the year award. Did they even have that? “Heather. There is no goal. I’m escaping my life as a neglected wife and mistreated employer and travelling to the land of hot sex and adultery.”
Victoria gasped and fell back into her chair.
“I can’t argue with that,” Heather said. “I’m no better. I’ve been sleeping with Silvatri for almost four months now and I’ve yet to see his house. At least Mangle lets you into his home.”
“You’ve never been invited?” Catherine asked.
“No. We usually fool around in my Jeep after rock climbing, or in his office on the weekends I work.”
“Why haven’t you been to his house, he’s divorced isn’t he?”
“Separated. His wife has an apartment a few blocks away. Maybe he’s afraid she’ll stop by.”
“But they’re separated, who cares? It was her choice to move out.”
“He doesn’t speak about it, not sure. I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell.”
“Why did she leave him, why didn’t she keep the house? They have a son don’t they?” Victoria asked.
Heather huffed and pooched her lips out. “She chose to leave, I never asked. Didn’t feel it was my place.”
“Don’t you think that’s strange?”
“Honestly, if I wanted to get away from Lance and he refused to move, I’d take the girls and just go, too.”
“I guess when the divorce is final maybe he’ll feel more comfortable having you in his house,” Victoria said. She couldn’t help sense the same disappointment Heather felt in her current situation that she felt with hers. It seemed like they both wanted more. Still searching for that passionate romance.
“That would be nice. I’d like to see him more often.” Heather smiled.
“Next week’s your rock climbing trip upstate, right?”
“Yes, were going to New Paltz, the Gunks, with Richard and Jenny. He set it up. Meeting a guide up there.”
“You must be excited.”
“I’m excited but nervous. Nervous about climbing outside, real mountains, the height and all, but also nervous about leaving the girls with Lance for a full day. You’d think after almost thirteen years I’d be confident enough to leave them home alone with their father. Hopefully he’ll feed them.”
“He thinks you’re going to a nutrition conference?” Victoria asked. “I’d love to spend a whole day with Aiden. And night. Fall asleep in front of his fireplace, wake up in his arms, have breakfast cooked by him in his kitchen.”
Victoria faded off into fairytale land, envisioning Aiden running his soft finger up and down her body like he did. Beginning at her eyelashes, extending to ticklish crevices, then returning to her face once again. Lengthy massages on his bed with the curtain flowing in and out with the breezes. The way he kissed her, his soft pouty lips against hers. Too bad the cold weather was coming, they could’ve enjoyed breakfast on his back patio.
Our relationship
. She thought about the word she used again. When she was with Aiden, it did feel like a relationship. They were a couple like any other. Loving and appreciating, concern for each other’s wellbeing. Wasn’t that a relationship?
No. Imaginative thoughts, like a child believing she was a fairy princess. It is what it is. They both knew that.
“Hello, earth to Victoria. Are you listening?” Heather said.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“Nothing, never mind. The two of you are in la la land.”
“It really is,” Catherine said. “You forget you have your old boring life. Suddenly you’re single, no kids, no job even. It’s like I’m living two separate lives. This is magical. Why wasn’t it like this before I had kids?”
“It was for me. Well not with Lance, but with Nicolo at least.” Heather took both her hands and rubbed them up and down her face.
“Well, whatever this is, I’m glad we’re going through it together.” Victoria lifted her empty cup in the air and the other two toasted to their other lives.
Chapter 34
Heather
Heather rubbed her cheeks and laughed at herself in the mirror. Why the hell was she doing this? Laurel and Rori charged into the bathroom and cheered, followed by Gia whistling a high-pitched shrill of excitement.
“I’m on the goddamned phone,” Lance screeched. “Every day is the same crap. Have you no respect?”
Asshole. “Come on girls, let’s go before it gets crowded.”
“Is daddy coming?” Rori asked.
Heather rolled her eyes. After almost five years, Rori still didn’t get it. “No honey, he…has to work.”
“On Saturday?”
“Yes, but we’ll have fun, especially me.” Laurel and Gia giggled but Heather did not find it funny.
The four of them pulled into Superstorm Adventure Park and jumped out of the Jeep. The girls ran to the ticket booth while Heather lagged behind.
“Come on, mom.” Laurel tugged on her arm.
They purchased their four wrist bracelets enabling them to stay all day long. All day. Long. Heather strolled to the kiddie section holding Rori’s hand, following her tiny steps.
Laurel leaped in front, preventing her from moving. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Rori’s never been here before, I’m letting her go on her rides first, it’s not fair otherwise.”
“You’re just stalling,” Gia said.
“Before we leave today, it will happen.”
Rori clanged the bell on the little blue tugboat, squealed with delight on the baby caterpillar rollercoaster and waved her hands in the air on the yellow number four helicopter. Gia snuck on the hot air balloon spinner with Rori, and then Laurel held her hand when they rode the Whale Swinger, the ride that made your stomach hurl out of your body. Ugh. Hurl was the wrong word to choose. With each ride, Heather faked a smile and tensed.
“Okay, no more stalling.” Laurel tucked her arm under Heather’s as if they were square dancing and dragged her to the roller coasters.
Heather cringed. “Can’t we try something smaller first?” She twisted around and pointed to the ride behind her. “What about this one?”
“The Frisbee?” Gia shouted.
“Yeah, what’s the Frisbee?”
“I went on that with my field trip last year.”
“Was it…safe?”
“All the rides are safe, mom.” Laurel sighed.
“Just pick one already. You said you wanted to ride a roller coaster and now you’re chickening out.” Rori clucked and waved her arms like poultry on crack.
“Rori! Who taught her that?” Laurel and Gia both giggled and ran away. “Okay, okay, I’ll pick the Frisbee to start. It looks less frightening.”
“I’ll stay with Rori, you can go on with Gia. It’s her favorite ride.”
“Gia loves all the rides, that’s not saying much.”
The ride attendant unlocked the chain. The crowd took off and boarded the giant Frisbee. Gia gripped her mother’s hand and guided her to two molded seats near each other. “I hate rides,” Heather roared. “Hate them.”
“You’ll be fine.”
The buzzer sounded and a large hydraulic lap bar appeared over her head and descended in front of her. “Oh, this cannot be good, the safety bar tells it all. This is a mistake. The roller coaster only had that thin silver bar across your lap!”
Heather watched the other kids kick their legs and wave their arms overhead. Shrieks of delight echoed within the silver Frisbee as the motor hummed to start the ride. She clutched the lap bar and closed her eyes.
The metal disk whisked them up to the right, then down and to the left. Up and down like the stupid whale ride Rori was on. Heather’s stomach took a nosedive into her cervix and then retracted and flung up and out of her throat. “I’m gonna die,” she screamed.
“It hasn’t even started yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re only going up and down. Remember mom, it’s called the
Frisbee
.”
Before she made the connection, the disc began to spin while rising higher and higher. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” Her stomach no longer knew which way to go, it twirled in circles and then tumbled like Jack and Jill. Heather clenched her hands around the yellow bar and dug her nails into the padding, knuckles as white as the vanilla ice cream she just ate and now regretted.
“Gia, I’m going to die!”
“No you’re not. This is coooool!”
“How much longer?”
“It hasn’t really spun yet, it’s just starting to get its speed up.”
“What?!” Her eyes lids jerked open but couldn’t tell if she was upside down or which side of the park they were on. She tried to turn her head toward Gia, but pressure prevented it, she could only manage to shift her eyes to the right. Gia’s eyes were wide open and her hands loosely flying in the air.