Charlotte Powers 1: Power Down (6 page)

xx48.11.05 / 17:34 / Still Friday

No C
²
(you know, because she's the 'Other Charlotte', the 'Second Charlotte' and also Charlotte Crescent so two 'C's—forget it, I shouldn't explain my jokes) at afternoon classes and I couldn't find her after school, either. Feeling really kind of stupidly awful about that. Now I have to wait until after the weekend to apologise, if I'm even still here then, I might NEVER get the chance!

Anyway. The feeling that something weird is going on with this school just got stronger this afternoon. Here is a transcript of an attempted conversation I had with a fellow student:

Charlotte (me I mean, not Other Charlotte): Hi! This class is pretty boring, huh?

Student: Um. Sure.

Charlotte: What's your name? I'm Charlotte, Charlotte Powers, I just moved here from out of town, are you a local?

Student: Um.

Charlotte: Sorry, I kind of asked too many questions then. What's your name, to start with?

Student: Um. I really need to concentrate on my work ...

See? Weird! Nobody answers questions around here, nobody
tells
me anything.

Enough of that, anyway. I have to think about tomorrow's bus trip. Could I go today? No, I want to get a good distance away and it's already late, and I don't feel up to an overnight bus ride. This place is surrounded by mountains but there must be a road out, right? The forest I arrived in kind of blocks everything off in that direction and there are mountains behind that, but it's pretty clear the other way.

...

No information on the local nets about bus tickets or anything, I guess I'll just go to town tomorrow morning and ask around. Early night, then, I have to get up early tomorrow!

xx48.11.06 / 05:02 / Saturday

far too early don't even know why I'm writing this except had weird thought if students weren't at school where were they?

another headache today worse than last one maybe I'm not drinking enough water

okay going out to find bus bye

xx48.11.06 / 09:41 / Still Saturday

There are no buses out of town. Is that weird or is that WEIRD? I noticed something else, too, in town; very few private vehicles. It's all taxis and local buses and trams. Some people have bicycles, some people have skateboards. Hardly anyone has a car.

My headache's getting worse, I bought some medicine but it's not doing much to help. It makes it hard to think straight and I'm really tired.

On the positive side of things all of the pastries and buns and things I bought for breakfast are delicious and I found a nice poster of a tree. When I get back to my apartment I'm going to put it up on my wall, then I'm going back to bed.

xx48.11.08 / 07:31 / Monday

Feeling great today! I slept through most of the weekend, I've never done that before, I was just so tired all the time and also that stupid headache really was a nuisance, it wasn't so bad on Sunday as it was on Saturday but like I said I was just so tired, I just got up once to have a shower and get some food from the vending machine outside and then I went straight back to bed again. Like I said, though, now I feel great! I woke up at six o'clock and went through my whole exercise routine, I admit I've been really bad about it lately but I just had so much energy this morning I thought 'why not?'. I miss the training room, punching Imaginary Bad Guys isn't as much fun as punching Virtual Bad Guys.

Anyway, off to class!

xx48.11.08 / 11:55 / Still Monday

Great morning today! I could feel it in the air as I crossed the school grounds, all the students were smiling and happy, chatting with each other. Some even recognised me! Okay so YES they called me 'Fumbles' but still it was in
kind
of a nice way. Not ENTIRELY a
mean
way, in any case. Even Veronica was smiling! I didn't talk to her, of course, but I saw her and her cronies flocking across to admin while I headed for the main building, and they all looked bright and chirpy and hardly at all psychopathic. Maybe they were just happy because they'd figured out a new way to torment me but who cares! They can't ruin my good mood.

One thing that did slightly bring me down was, again, there being no sign of Other Charlotte. Where is she? Sick maybe? Maybe I'll see her at lunch. Anyway, I got a bit distracted by the second morning class which was Literature—which IS Literature, I'm still in class, we have some free time before lunch so I thought I'd whip out the ol' Opal and write an entry. I'm getting some weird looks, maybe Opals aren't allowed in class? But the teacher isn't saying anything and I'm not trying to hide, right? I'm not breaking some invisible rule here, am I? Now I'm kind of worried again. Well, I'll write about the class, that way I can't be accused of being irrelevant or using class time for non-class subjects. We had a big discussion of New Life, a book I've always both loved and hated so PERFECT for discussion, right? I mean, I love it, obviously it's a classic and very thought-provoking but that ending, oh my goodness, so ... so ... so
something
, so sad and awful but inevitable, there was no other way it could end. I actually got into an argument—a
good
argument—about it with everyone else, including the teacher. They all argued that George's final choice was valid, that it WAS a choice, that he WANTED to give up everything to become part of the Collective. Of course I said 'no way!'. He was PUSHED into it, everything that happened was engineered to force him into that 'choice', in fact he had NO choice. If he HAD a choice (I argued, quite well if I do say so myself) then there is NO way he would've let himself be 'collected'. Giving up everything that makes you who you are, just to be accepted? I don't think so!

Well anyway even though everyone was against me I think I made my point clear and it was kind of a friendly argument and nobody took things personally (well ... except maybe for me, a little bit, it's hard having an unpopular opinion!), so that was good. Oh, there's the lunch bell. Gotta go!

xx48.11.08 / 12:12 / Still Monday

Good news, I found Other Charlotte! Or saw her, anyway. Actually she was in the classroom right next to my Lit class, I spotted her when I came out but then lost her in the crowds, she can move surprisingly fast! Anyway, I'm pretty sure she came here to the lunch room so I'm just sitting at an empty table keeping an eye out for her. There are more students around than on Friday but still more than a dozen tables that are completely empty. Where are they all? Maybe doing sports practice or something, or club activities. I suppose—oh, there she is! Okay, I'll write more once I've talked to her and apologised and everything.

xx48.11.08 / 12:56 / Still Monday

Well, THAT was a relief. I caught up to Other Charlotte at one of the tables and asked if I could eat lunch with her and she didn't say no. After I sat down I launched right into my apology, I said how sorry I was that I was rude to her and really it was terrible behaviour and I feel so bad about it, and that she was nothing but kind to me and she didn't deserve to be treated like that and so on and so forth, it was pretty long and I repeated myself a bunch so I won't bother transcribing the whole thing here. After I'd finished she did this little head bob, not quite a nod, and she said:

"I'm glad you told me."

That kind of left me scratching my head. It's a weird thing to say to someone after they've apologised, right? Normally you'd say "That's okay" or "Apology accepted" or "I forgive you", that's what happens in books and TV shows and movies and things, but "I'm glad you told me"? I have NO idea what to make of that. Anyway, I didn't let it stop me, because I had more to say to her than just an apology, so next I thanked her for being so nice to me and helping me clean up, and for taking care of my uniform—she kind of perked up at that, like she remembered something.

"Oh," she said. "It's at my house. I can bring it for you tomorrow."

She took it home and washed it for me! This girl is a sweetheart! I was about to say something else but before I could she was gone, she excused herself while she was standing up and before I could go after her she was scurrying away—like I said, the girl can move! I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to her more and maybe invite her to do something after school, but I guess I'll get the chance another time. I'm just glad she doesn't hate me for being so rude. At least I THINK she doesn't hate me, it's hard to tell with her.

After that I just finished my lunch and wrote all this out, now I'm—oh, great. Here comes Veronica and her Blonde Patrol (actually not all of them are blonde but anyway).

...

Arrrgh I hate that girl SO MUCH. She did her big 'pretend to be nice to Charlotte' thing again, of course I didn't fall for it but that didn't make it any less infuriating. She came right up to where I was sitting and flashed this big bright smile at me and said:

"I heard you haven't joined any clubs yet."

So what? How is that her business? What does she care whether I join any clubs or not, I just got here, I hope I'll LEAVE soon, WHY IS SHE DISAPPOINTED IN ME FOR NOT JOINING ANY CLUBS ARRRRRRGH.

Of course, at the time I didn't say any of that. I couldn't. My mouth just freezes up when she's around, along with the rest of me. Maybe I mumbled something like "so what?", I don't know. She smiled at me again.

"You should join the self-improvement program," she said. "It's really fun and not too intense, it's a good way to meet people and increase your confidence and make new friends—and really, Charlotte dear, you look like you could
use
a little self-improvement."

Then she left, thankfully, and I ran away just in case she decided to come back. As for her 'self-improvement program', fat chance! I'm not joining ANYTHING that has her anywhere NEAR it!

Bell's ringing. Lunchtime is over. Easy boring maths for afternoon class then home. Not real home, of course. Fake school home. But it's mine, and it's private, and it's safe, and right now having that is really welcome.

xx48.11.09 / 10:04 / Tuesday

Between classes now, waiting for the teacher to get here. Apparently yesterday's beginning-of-the-week good mood has worn off, today everyone is totally serious and uncommunicative. I actually fell asleep during Social Studies this morning. One good thing, though, for some reason Other Charlotte is in my Lit class today. Now that I think about it I've noticed that students kind of drop in and out of classes, it must be something to do with these invisible rules that everyone except me seems to know. Although now that I think about it I haven't had any trouble with 'where to sit' lately, maybe I'm picking up on some of these mysterious unspoken way-things-are.

Teacher's here, Opal off.

xx48.11.09 / 15:16 / Wednesday

Something weird with the date on my Opal, it says it's the 9th even though the 9th was yesterday, maybe some kind of glitch in the local nets? Anyway.

I didn't get to talk with Other Charlotte even though we shared a class. During class she was very quiet (which wasn't that unusual considering the fact that we were writing essays—well, I was just proof-reading an essay I wrote two years ago but you know what I mean) and didn't really even look at me. Of course, she doesn't really look at anyone, but still. I thought maybe she might have said something, a quick hello maybe or a 'see you at lunch', except she wasn't AT lunch. Veronica Flux was, though, and once again she decided to come and pester me.

"Still haven't signed up for any clubs, Charlotte?" she said. It's weird, but even though she's the one who GAVE me the stupid 'Fumbles' nickname, she's about the only person in the school who doesn't use it. "I'm a little disappointed, I thought you would've listened to my excellent advice. You do want to fit in here, don't you?"

I mumbled something like 'yes'. I couldn't lie; I don't like it here and I'm not having much fun and I still intend to leave as soon as I figure out how, but I DO want to fit in. Kind of desperately.

"Well then, you should listen to what I tell you," said Veronica. "Do you want Laurel or Suza or Karen to show you where you sign up?"

I shook my head. "I can find my own way," I said. It wasn't a lie, if I was going to sign up for a club I probably COULD find my own way. I could tell Veronica wasn't quite satisfied, but at least she left me alone. Why is she so desperate for me to join a club? I wish I had someone to talk to about this. I wish I knew what was going on with Other Charlotte. Did I offend her? I bet I did—no, I KNOW I did, I was so rude to her, even with my big apology her feelings must be hurt. I have to make a greater effort to find her and talk to her. Maybe apologise again? Would that be acceptable? Once you've apologised once, is it insulting to do so again? I'm not really sure at all. When I got home my uniform was outside my door, all neatly folded in a plastic bag. Other Charlotte must have dropped it off. It's so nicely washed and even smells good now (before it smelled mostly of starch). Is she avoiding me? Is that why she just dropped it off instead of giving it to me, even though we were in the same class today?

Sigh. Dealing with people is difficult!

xx48.11.10 / 15:39 / Thursday

FINALLY caught up with Other Charlotte. I didn't see her all day (I didn't see Veronica either, thankfully) but then after school finished I spotted her on the other side of the grounds, I was really puffed out by the time I caught her at the gates. I think maybe super-agility also carries with it a secondary power of, I don't know what to call it, enhanced respiration? Super breathing? Not-getting-puffed-while-you-run? Anyway, what I'm saying is that my breathing's gotten heavy after exercising before, or after going through training courses, but I've never had to spend a few seconds just bent over trying to get my breath back. I mean, I DID run as fast as I could and it's not like I'm unfit, I mean even without super-agility I'm pretty quick and I got a lot of stares as I ran, but it's a long way from my apartment to the school gates (I was actually at my door when I saw her). Maybe I should start doing running practice. Anyway, she waited patiently for me to get my breath back enough to talk, then I started things off with:

"I have no idea if I should apologise to you again or not, so could you please tell me if I should?"

To my surprise this actually worked really well! She perked up straight away and even
smiled
, and she said:

"No, you don't need to apologise to me. Thank you for asking."

Well, that made my day, as you can probably guess. She's not mad at me!

"Okay," I said. "Wow, good. I'm so relieved. I thought you were avoiding me or something."

"I thought that perhaps you wanted me to avoid you," she said. That really threw me!

"What?" I said. "Why would I want you to avoid me?"

"I don't know," she said. "I thought that the possibility existed and without further information it was safer to assume you didn't want further contact with me, and I acted according to that assumption. I now see that this assumption was incorrect, so from now on I won't avoid you. Is that okay?"

"Yes, of course," I said. "Um, you might have noticed, I'm new here."

"Yes, I did notice," she said.

"Um, so," I said, feeling really nervous, "actually I wanted to ask if you wanted to do something together."

"With you?" she said.

"Um, yes," I said. "With me. Who else would I be speaking for?"

"I don't know," she said. "But I thought I should check. I'm sorry if it was strange to do so."

"Sorry to ask this," I said, because I really thought I had to, "but you're not a robot, are you?"

"No," she said. "I don't think I am."

"Okay," I said, "just checking. Um. So, what do people normally do around here?"

"Study and work," she said.

"Oh," I said. "Um. What do YOU normally do?"

"Study."

"But aside from that?"

Other Charlotte thought for a moment about that, staring down at a patch of grass.

"Regular biological functions?" she said, as if asking approval from me. "What do you normally do, aside from studying?"

"Oh, well ... not much at the moment." I had to be careful then. I want to get to know Other Charlotte more but at the same time I don't want to just blab out everything about me. If she asked me directly 'are you a superhero?' then ... well, actually I guess I COULD say 'no', it's not like I have any powers now and I haven't felt very heroic lately. Huh. Maybe not having powers is actually GOOD for creating a Public Identity, it means I won't accidentally be forced to reveal anything. Then again I've barely even thought about that in days—losing my powers I mean—there have definitely been more pressing issues. Anyway, back to Other Charlotte:

"Are you finished talking to me?" she asked. I guess I must have been quiet for a while. "I should go home."

"Oh. Um. Okay, yes, I guess you should. Me too, I have to ... eat, I guess."

For a while Other Charlotte just stared not-quite-at me, then she said something that made me feel better than anything anyone has ever said to me before:

"Do you want to eat with me?"

So now I'm on a bus, sitting beside her, writing this out as we go to her house. She lives on the edge of town, apparently. I'm going to meet her parents! It's weird but I didn't think of her as having a family, I kind of thought she was like me—you know, utterly alone—but it turns out she grew up here. I have to admit I'm half-dreading meeting her parents, if they're like her then it might be an awkward evening. Don't get me wrong, I kind of
like
how she is, at least it's interesting and she's not weird like the other students ... um, well, I mean, she IS 'weird', but in a different way to everyone else. Weird in her own personal way, instead of weird in a general kind of way. I don't even know what I'm writing now, I'm doing the journal equivalent of babbling so I'm just going to stop. I think we're close to her house anyway, she's getting a bit fidgety like she doesn't want to miss her stop, so I'll write again later.