Read Chaos (Phoenix Undercover #2) Online
Authors: C.A. Harms
Gabriella
“Good morning, Valerie,” I said as I walked past her desk on the way to my office. She lifted her head from the paperwork she was focusing on and offered me a smile. “Did those emails come in from Mitchell?”
She quickly spun around and pulled something off the printer behind her desk. “Yep, and I printed them out for you. I figured that would be easier. And your nine o’clock cancelled,” she added as she held out the stack of papers. “But your ten o’clock wanted to know if you had an earlier time, so it worked out perfectly.”
I nodded as I thumbed through the listings for my showings today. Her words finally clicked. “Mr. Wynn cancelled?”
“Yep, he said his mother became ill, and he and Mrs. Wynn had to fly out to Seattle unexpectedly.” She once again rerouted her focus back to the files on her desk.
This meant my time with R.J. was now moved forward by an hour. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about him. He was incredibly intimidating, and the way he watched me made me nervous. It was like he wanted to commit my every move to memory. But the commission I would make on this sale would be more than enough to secure a start to a future for my child. For Josh’s child. So I would deal with the weird creepiness of Roman, or R.J. as he insisted.
I dove head-first into the stack of listings Mitchell, Margo’s assistant, had compiled for me. He had worked with R.J. in the past and had some insight into R.J.’s likes and requirements, so recruiting him to gather some prospective locations seemed like the best option.
I was so engrossed in the extravagant, gorgeous properties that I lost complete track of time. When the intercom announced R.J.’s arrival, I jumped.
“Okay, um…” I took in a calming breath, because my heart was still racing from the interruption. “Give me just a couple minutes to get my desk cleaned up, then send him in.” My desk was fine; it was me who needed a few minutes to prepare for the awkwardness I knew would set in the moment I was alone with him.
I had been working with R.J. for over two weeks now, and his odd behavior had only seemed to intensify. I would find him staring at me instead of the listing I was attempting to show him. Or when we were on the phone, it was like he was distracted and not truly listening to me. I would have to repeat myself constantly.
A light tap on the door made my stomach drop, and I stood from my chair, looking down to make sure I was fully presentable. Quickly, I buttoned up the top button of my shirt. I didn’t care if it was a little over-the-top; the last thing I wanted was for him to get more skin than necessary.
“Good morning,” I said, painting on a professional smile as R.J. entered. “I think today is the day we find your new home,” I insisted.
He sauntered across the room, staring directly at me with a smirk. “Well, Ms. Shannon, if that is true, I would have to find other ways to acquire your company. I have grown quite fond of your smile.”
It was shit like that that made me want to pick up my coffee mug and crack him over the head with it. He was fucking creepy.
***
After a long day of looking at over ten different locations, R.J. was still unimpressed. Or maybe he meant what he’d said earlier and was just stalling so I’d spend more time with him.
I entered my apartment and found Brook asleep on the couch. She had started taking night classes, and I would often find her crashed out somewhere in the apartment. I don’t know if it was because of what she had watched me go through when losing Josh, because she never left my side throughout the entire time, but she was nothing like the Brooklyn from six months ago. Yes, she was still fiery and mouthy, but she was no longer going out night after night or sleeping with random men. She said life was too short to waste. She had truly become my rock over the last month, and I’m not sure how I would have gotten through each night without her.
She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes as I dropped my heels to the floor. “Hey, Momma, how was work?”
I shrugged and moved across the living room to drop into the empty space on the couch next to her. “I spent the entire day going through penthouses and condos only to come up emptyhanded,” I said as I gently massaged my aching feet. “I am beginning to believe this man is unpleasable.”
“Well, from the stories you’ve told me, he seems like a freak.”
I snorted because she hit the nail right on the head.
“Have you eaten?” she asked, and I just shook my head as my eyes focused on the framed picture that still sat on the bookshelf. It was one I had snapped of Josh when he fell asleep watching a movie one night. He had no idea I had taken it, and after the funeral I found myself searching through my phone for every picture I had ever taken of him. I would not allow myself or our unborn child the chance to forget him.
“Gabby?” I turned to look over at Brooklyn, who looked back at me with a concerned expression.
“What?” I asked.
“Have you heard anything I said?” she asked, scanning my face slowly.
“Sorry,” I offered. “I guess I’m just tired.”
“I asked if you wanted to go grab dinner or order in.”
“I think I’d rather stay in.” She already knew what I would say. It was the same thing I said every other time she asked me. I rarely went out. Being around people meant I had to socialize, and it was hard enough to be social during the day at work.
“I’m going to go take a shower. Why don’t you just surprise me?” I said as I pushed up off the couch and made my way toward my bedroom.
The moment I stepped inside my shower and the warm water began to cascade over my body, I gave in to the temptation to cry. I had been holding it back all day, but now that I was finally alone, I felt safe to just let go and feel the ache I had been fighting.
Josh
“Can’t you get me something, anything? Fuck, Frank, I’m losing it over here. I just want to know how she is.” I sat on the couch, my head resting against one hand while I held the phone to the ear with my other. “It’s getting harder each day. I don’t think I can keep this up.”
“We’re getting closer, Josh,” he assured me, and I gripped the phone tighter in irritation.
“I’ve heard that shit every damn day for the last month. I’ve been here for four weeks, holding out for some break. But I get nothing. Don’t fucking lie to me. You’re no closer now than you were then. Meanwhile, my life is moving on without me.” I was trying to hold back my anger, but I was so sick of people telling me to hold on. I would give anything to shift places with these assholes and see how they held it together when they were fucking isolated and forced to fake their own death.
“We found Roman’s son.”
I froze at Frank’s words. What the hell? Roman had a son?
“He’s nineteen years old, and he has been living with his mother in New York City.” I sat silently while Frank continued to give me the smallest sliver of hope this may soon be over. “He doesn’t really have a whole lot to do with his father. I guess his mother was one of the women Roman had
used
. When she became pregnant, he placed them in a penthouse and left her to raise Xavier. But when he turned sixteen, Roman grew more interested in his son’s life. He tried to get him to join the
business
.”
I knew what he meant by “business,” and the thought made me sick.
“Xavier said he had no interest in being a part of his father’s lifestyle, but he does think he can help us find him.”
“And why would he do that, Frank? What does he have to gain?”
“He wants assurance his mother will be safe. He wants us to guarantee we’ll place her in a secure area and keep her out of Roman’s clutches. She’s still being sold by him.”
“Sick son of a bitch,” I grumbled as my stomach turned.
“He told Xavier when he chooses to join the business, he’ll leave his mother alone. But if he continues to fight his future, his mother will pay the price,” Frank said in disgust. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I just want you to know I have every man on this. I’m doing all I can to get you back to your family, Josh. But Roman and Leo are both dangerous, and I can’t risk your life, or Mike’s and Greyson’s.”
I knew Frank was being honest. He had been like a second father to me and the guys, and was one of the best men I had ever known. I knew I had to trust him.
“Just give me something to hold on to, Frank, that’s all I ask,” I begged as I leaned back against the couch.
“Let me see what I can do.”
I let out a calming breath and prayed like hell he was being honest. I was in desperate need of something to give me hope.
***
I had grown obsessed with Roman’s life after my phone call with Frank. If I was going to be forced to remain hidden away, I decided to use my time more wisely.
We had Trevor deliver computers that gave us clearance into the database at work. Between Mike, Greyson, and myself, we set up our own headquarters and continued to analyze every piece of footage we had ever gotten, any footage we could find, not only on Leo but on each of his men. We spent hours looking for any small sign we may have missed the first time we combed through the videos.
I had been at it for hours and was almost to the point where I was seeing double from staring at the figures on the screens too closely. My eyes burned, my head pounded, and Grey had long ago gone back to his own shit excuse of an apartment. Mike was passed out in the recliner in my living room, snoring, which sounded as if a fucking freight train was barreling through the apartment.
I was just about to shut everything down for the night when my email dinged. The only people that used this particular address were the guys from the bureau, so when I saw Trevor’s name, I clicked Open. He knew I was absorbed in the footage, so he was most likely sending me something new to comb through.
The subject line read:
You can thank me later, thought you could use this.
There was an attachment, and when I clicked on the little paperclip off the left, a video began to download. A sense of urgency ran through me as I waited for it to load, and when it began to play, my heart literally ached.
There on the screen were Gabby and Brooklyn. They were in Gabby’s favorite café, sitting near the window. We used to go there together often just to get her that sweet caramel latte she craved. Gabby wore an oversized sweater that hung off one shoulder and a pair of tight leggings beneath it. Her hair was piled on the top of her head with ringlets of brown hanging loosely around her face, giving it that wild look. She was staring down at her hands as she held a bottle of water. I found that odd, considering she was in a coffee shop, but quickly forgot the thought when her gaze shifted toward the camera.
Brooklyn must have said something, because Gabby looked away quickly and offered her sister a smile I could immediately tell was forced. Her sadness only made my heart ache even more.
I couldn’t hear Gabby, but seeing her was enough. Hell, I felt as if it had been forever since I had seen her gorgeous face.
The video ended, and I lunged forward, wiggling the mouse over it to start it once more. I spent the evening watching it over and over just so I could feel close to her once again.
Gabriella
I had four missed calls from R.J. when I finally emerged from the bathroom. I had spent the last forty-five minutes with my head hovering over the toilet. This was the second time I had woken nauseated. My head was pounding, and the last thing I wanted to deal with right now was that indecisive egomaniac. He would have to wait until after my doctor’s appointment.
When I walked out into the kitchen and found both of my sisters and my mother waiting for me, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. They provided the moral support I needed since Josh was unable to be there.
My mother walked toward me and wrapped me in her arms, giving me a much-needed hug. “Are you ready to go see this sweet little miracle?” I nodded as my eyes filled with tears. “Me too,” she added before placing a kiss against my cheek.
The ride to my doctor was filled with the three of them telling stories of when my sisters and I were younger. They talked about the possibility of me having a little girl that they could all spoil and shop for. My mom said my father had hoped it would be a boy because he was already outnumbered. I was hoping for a boy too. A little boy that would look just like his daddy and who would grow up to be the kind of man his father was—confident, strong, and the bravest person I had ever known.
By the time we arrived at the doctor, my stomach was in knots from all the visions rolling around in my head of Josh holding our child, snuggling them and loving them. I had done everything I could to hold it together, but the closer we got, the harder it had become.
I was robotically going through the motions. Walking toward the front entrance. Stopping at the counter to sign in. Sitting in the waiting area, flipping through magazines as if something within them was actually interesting to me. I would nod or smile when one of my sisters or even my mother asked me a question or said something in an attempt to get a reaction out of me. But everything was forced. Nothing felt right.
“Ms. Gabriella Shannon,” a nurse said from across the waiting area, and I looked up to meet her genuine smile.
I pushed up from the chair and walked toward the doorway as Audrey, Brook, and my mother followed closely behind. The nurse directed me to a chair just to the left. There was a small area that held a scale and a few smaller machines. After I took a seat, she checked my blood pressure, followed by my weight. When she tapped at the digital screen in front of me, the numbers began to bounce around before settling on what I knew was well below my weight six weeks ago. I knew I had lost weight, and I felt guilty every day for it.
As I stepped down from the scale and turned, she pointed toward the hall the led to the examination rooms where the doctor would see me. I ignored Brooklyn’s disapproving stare. She knew my current weight, and she also knew the weight the doctor had written in my chart at my last visit was a number I hadn’t seen since I was in college.
“Will you all be staying in the room during the exam?” The nurse looked around at the women of my family as she laid the paper gown on the table in front of me.
Before I could respond, Audrey beat me to it. “Yes, we will. This little angel is our miracle, and we all intend to be a part of every single moment.”
My eyes clouded with unshed tears, and I looked down to hide my emotion.
“Well, okay then,” the nurse added with sincerity. “The doctor will be in shortly if you just want to undress from the waist down.” I nodded as she exited the room.
I quickly undressed and didn’t care that in the process of crawling onto the table, I flashed Brooklyn my bare ass. She laughed and I flipped her off, which only made my mother chastise us both and Audrey snicker at the entire scene. In the end, my mother smiled, and the atmosphere in the room felt just a little lighter than it had five minutes prior to my butt scene.
When Dr. Bali entered, he smiled politely as he shook everyone’s hand and then took a seat at my side. “How are you feeling, Gabby? Have you had much morning sickness?” he asked as he looked over my chart.
“No, only a few times, nothing too alarming,” I assured him.
“Great.” He looked up at me over the rim of his glasses. “Says here your last cycle was June 16. Does that sound about right?”
I nodded, and he looked back down at the file in his hands. “That would put you at a due date of March 22.” He paused for a few seconds. “Which means that as of today, you are about nine to ten weeks along.”
I closed my eyes, thinking back to the times Josh and I had been together and wondering which of those times we created a life together.
“We should be able to get a decent view of the baby today,” he stated as he turned and began to move a few things around on the countertop behind him.
The reality of what I was about to see hit me then. My eyes filled with tears, and my lip began to tremble. I let my head fall to the side, and a tear ran along my cheek before falling to the bed at my side. My mother looked back at me with tears in her eyes as well and a small, reassuring smile.
I thought it would be Brook that immediately rushed to my side, but I was wrong. It was Audrey who stood and came to me. It was she who took my hand in hers and squeezed it before leaning over to place her head against me.
For a moment we just stayed in this position, my body now shaking as I fought like hell to hold in my sobs. Then Audrey softly whispered against my ear, “We are all here for you. We always will be.”
I nodded because I had to stop these waterworks. It was just so hard knowing he couldn’t be here to experience this with me. I hated he was taken from us all and he would never know he was going to be a father. I was so angry and sad at the same time.
When I finally turned to face Dr. Bali, he was smiling at both of us.
“Are we ready to take your baby’s first picture?” he asked as he held up a bottle in one hand and the wand in the other.
“Yes,” I said, and it came out in a whisper.
The moment the soft swooshing sounds filled the room, we each became mesmerized by the image on the screen next to the doctor. He began pointing to it, explaining what exactly we were seeing. It looked like a little blob, and nothing like a baby, but it was the most precious blob. It was part of Josh, part of me, and in that moment I fell in love.
***
“Do you think it’s time you told his family?” I looked up from the picture in my hand to meet Audrey’s stare. The doctor had printed out a few different images, and I had been engrossed in them since we arrived back at my apartment.
I knew I needed to tell them. I was just so afraid of what it would do to them. Josh had meant so much to his family, and I worried I’d only be adding to their grief, but Audrey was right.
“Yeah, I just don’t know how to reach them. I’ve been to their house, but I don’t know the way exactly. When Josh took me there, I was too nervous to pay full attention.” I know he thought I was all self-assured and confident that day, but on the inside I was terrified. I was so worried they wouldn’t like me and also found myself wondering if it was too soon. But they welcomed me as if I were part of the family, and after five minutes in their presence, I felt like I was at home.
“We could call Greyson, get his sister’s number,” Audrey said. “I’m sure he would be willing to help you get in touch with Josh’s family.”
I nodded, remembering that Greyson had called her once regarding Josh’s whereabouts, so it made sense she would have his number.
As she pulled out her phone from her back pocket and began scrolling through her contacts, I felt my nerves kick into high gear. I still had no idea what I would say to Libby.