Change of Heart (23 page)

“
Kevin
,” Rich snarls. He ignores the outstretched arm. “I’m going to give you three seconds to get away from Penelope.”

“Penelope?” Kevin asks. “That’s her name?” He looks over at me. “Is this guy your boyfriend?”

I look at Rich. I can see the angry tightness in his jaw and neck. “No,” I say, tossing my hair and leaning toward Kevin. “No, he’s not.”

Kevin smiles sweetly at Rich. “You’re
not
. So, I can see no reason why you should tell me whether or not I can speak to her. Unless the lady objects to my company…?” he trails off and I shake my head. “No? Good. In that case, I’ll stay right here. Oh, but there’s a group of girls who just walked in. Maybe you can try your luck over there.”

Kevin turns to me, dismissing Rich completely.

“Kevin,” Rich says coldly. “I’m not asking you. I’m
telling
you. Get. Away. From. Her.”

Kevin shakes his head, irritated. He turns back to Rich. “You just don’t get it, do you, bro? You may have been talking to Penelope before, but you left her alone and blew your chance. Now, why don’t you just fuck off and find somebody else to bother?”

I didn’t think it was possible for Rich’s face to become any harder. But it just does. He looks like he wants to kill Kevin, skin him, and defile his body in the worst possible way. “Listen to me,” Rich begins dangerously.

Kevin surges to his feet. “No,
you
listen.” Standing face-to-face like that, I can see Kevin only gives up half an inch to Rich. If that. “There are certain rules to this place. Certain etiquettes. Now, I’ve never seen you here before. That makes you an outsider. I’ll give you a break this time. We can pretend you don’t know any better. But if you
ever
interrupt me again, I will make sure you don’t leave the
Blackbear
in one piece.” He shoves Rich by the shoulder. “Got it?”

There are times in life when you realize you’ve just made a grave mistake. Times that go by in the blink of an eye, where you wish you’d only been a little smarter, a little more prescient. In those times you understand that, had you done so, you could have prevented a disaster.

This is one of those times. I should not have egged Rich on.

Rich’s face twists into an inferno of absolute rage. Before Kevin can even pull his hand back, Rich twists to the side and grabs it. He uses Kevin’s forward momentum to pull him off his feet, then kicks out a foot to send Kevin sprawling to the floor.

Shocked gasps sound from all around us. A space quickly clears out as people step back. Kevin looks up from the floor in disbelief. Then he roars and swings a haymaker at Rich’s face.

Mayhem erupts around me. I don’t see what happens next. The braver members of the crowd rush in to break up the fight. I can hear Kevin cursing, and the sickening sounds of punches being landed.

I try to push through the bodies, but they’re too tightly packed. I’m too small.

Suddenly, the way parts before me. I stumble into the middle of a ring of people.

Four men are holding Rich back. He’s struggling against them so fiercely that I’m afraid he might break through. On the other side, only two are needed to restrain Kevin. Blood is pouring from his nose.

“There’s the bitch!” he screams when he sees me. “The little cunt started the whole thing!”

“What,
her
?” I hear a condescending voice from somewhere behind me. I recognize it as the bartender’s. “Please! She’s not worth anybody throwing a single punch over. You might as well tell us you’ve been fighting over a dirty rag!”

I hear a rousing series of gibes from other women in the crowd. My cheeks flush hot with anger. I spin around, ready to confront the bartender… but somebody big and bulky catches me by the shoulders.

“Out you go!” a thick voice rumbles above me.
The bouncer
. He picks me up and carries me to the doors with all the care he might give a log. All the delicacy, too. “You’ve caused enough trouble in here, little mouse.”

Mouse?
My mouth moves to come up with a retort, but before I’m given the chance I’m all but tossed out to the street. A second later, a sputtering, angry Rich gets shoved out beside me.

The doors slam shut on us, cutting off the jeers and laughter from within.

“Great,” I mutter, picking myself up. “Tossed out like a bag of trash. Thanks a lot, Rich.”

He turns on me. One side of his face is starting to swell. I hadn’t realized he’d taken a blow. “Me? What the hell were you doing talking to that guy in the first place?”

“What, now I can’t talk to people, either?” I fire back. “You don’t own me!”

“You should have seen the way he was looking at you. It was disgusting. If you had any idea what he was thinking…”

“I’m not some scared virgin, Rich! Of course I knew what he was thinking!”

“Then you should have turned him away!”

“Oh, just like I turned you away the night we met. Right?” My breaths are coming fast, now. My heart is pounding. “Why would I ever listen to you?”

“I swear to God, Penny, I leave you alone for five minutes and you manage to find yourself trouble!” He throws his hands into the air. “Why can’t you just take care of yourself?”

“I told you, I’d been doing a damn fine job of it before you came along! What gives you the right to say who I can and cannot talk to? If I recall, I’m not the one who threw the first punch!”

“The bastard deserved it,” Rich says. “To see the way he was ogling you…”

“And what do you care if he was?” I snap. “It’s like I told him: You and I aren’t dating. You were ready to leave me with Amanda just a few hours ago, remember?”

“Yeah, well things change!” He jabs a finger at me. “It looks like you got your wish now, doesn’t it?” He gives a full-on, malicious smile. “Now you’re stuck with me. Just like you wanted.”

“Whatever.” I shove past him. “I can’t deal with this shit right now.”

I’m halfway through the parking lot before he calls out, “Penny, wait.”

I stop and take a deep breath. I’m not ready to talk to him. Not with so much going through my mind. I want—no, I
need
—nothing more than a few hours alone, away from all this madness, to sort everything out. To understand how I really feel about Rich.

I hear him stop behind me. I stiffen slightly when he puts his hands on my upper arms and steps into me. I can smell
him
in the clear night: That musky, deep, and completely male scent that belong only to him.

“I don’t need your protection,” I whisper softly. My voice trembles.

“I know.” He places his chin on the top of my head. His hands cover both of mine.

For a long moment, the two of us stay like that. My body seems to want to melt into his. I don’t know if I should be enjoying the quiet embrace as much as I do.

“But I can’t help it, Penny,” he continues eventually. “It’s what you do to me. It’s what you
bring out
in me. I know everything between us is fucked up. I know everything is broken. But all the feelings I have inside… I can’t put them into words. So, I do the only thing I can. I act. I act on them. Sometimes, I lose control when I do it. But I promise you, nobody has ever made me feel so conflicted before.”

I laugh a little. The sound comes out as unsteady as my nerves. “Is that supposed to make me feel special? That I make you feel conflicted?”

“I don’t fucking know what it’s supposed to make you feel. But it’s the truth.”

I step away from him, suppressing the sigh that wants to come out of my throat at the loss of his warmth. I turn back and look him in the eye. “So, you act. Is that your thing, Rich? You act and you regret it?”

“Yes,” he says, picking up my hand again. His fingers intertwine with mine. “I act, and later I wish I hadn’t. Like just now, in the bar.”

“Like when you kissed me in Amanda’s garage,” I say softly.

“Yes,” he whispers. He cups my chin and lifts it up. “Yes, just like that.”

Slowly, as if we’re both in a trance, his lips descend to meet mine. They touch. His kiss is soft, gentle, and caring. He doesn’t force himself on me. He doesn’t pry my mouth open with his tongue. He just stays like that, pressing his lips into mine.

It is the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had. But, no matter how much I want the moment to last… it can’t. I turn my head away.

“We can’t do this, Rich,” I tell him, staring sadly at the passing cars.

“Why not?” He presses his nose into my hair. I shudder as he inhales deeply. “Says who?”

“Says
me
,” I tell him, knowing that if he holds me for even a second longer all my current resolve will melt away. I step back, breaking off from him. “And, says you. In Amanda’s house. You told me we couldn’t be together. That you weren’t right for me.” I take a shockingly unsteady breath. “Tonight, I realized you were right.”

Rich’s expression doesn’t change. His face remains exactly the same. If I hadn’t spent so much time with him, it would have been easy to miss the sudden way his eyes become crestfallen. “What?”

“You were right,” I repeat. “The two of us are wrong for each other. I make you say and do stupid things. You put me in danger. We don’t match. We make a horrible pair.”

“Penny…”

“No, Rich. You know it’s the truth. I didn’t want to see it before. Now, I do. You opened my eyes to it.”

“You know you can’t just go home anymore,” he says gravely. “Amanda knows who you are, which means Tam and Victor do, too. You’re stuck with me until I can resolve things.”

“I know,” I agree. I’m impressed by how resolute my voice sounds. Inside, I’m on the verge of tears. “And I’ll stick with you through it to the end. But no longer. There won’t be any messy feelings involved. We’ll both go into it with a clear mind.” I nod. “That makes it the right decision.”

Rich looks at me for a long time without saying anything.
Don’t make this any harder than it has to be,
I beg in my head.
Please, please, please
.

“You’re right,” he says finally, defeated. “Of course, you’re right. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let anything happen to you. Getting away from me was always your best choice. If you were too stubborn to see if before, well, at least I’m glad that you do now. I care for you, Penny. That’s how I know you’re right. It hurts me to admit it, but… you’re right.”

“I know I am,” I mumble sadly. “I know I am.”

Chapter
Thirteen

“Closed,” Rich grunts. “Just like the others. Is it too much to ask for a damn bank in this town?”

Soon after leaving the
Blackbear’s
parking lot, we discovered Rich had left all his cash in his truck. He had his credit cards, but didn’t want to use the ATMs for fear of being traced. A teller inside a bank would let him make a withdrawal without that worry. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility at this hour.

“Any motels around here would want money upfront,” Rich grumbles as he climbs back onto the bike.

“So, where does that leave us?”

Rich gives me a knowing look. “You ever been camping?”

***

The good thing about being in such a remote location is that it’s not hard to get away from people. The bad thing is that it doesn’t take more than a single wrong turn to get lost.

I follow Rich through yet another muddy trail in the woods. This is a recreational camping area, so I’m not too worried about becoming hopelessly stranded. Of course, we did have to climb over a chain fence to get inside.

The forest opens to a serene, dark lake. It’s eerily quiet. The sky is clear. I can see the reflections of thousands of tiny stars on the water’s surface.

“Here we are,” Rich announces. “Our grand accommodations for the night. I’ll get a fire going.”

“A fire? Here?” I’m surprised. “
How
?”

“Oh that’s right, I forgot, you’re just a city girl, aren’t you?” Rich teases. “Unused to the rural ways. All the way from Jersey. Right?”

“California, actually,” I admit. I figure I owe it to him to tell him a little about myself at this point. “I grew up in L.A.”

“L.A.?” Rich asks. “That explains… absolutely nothing.” He laughs. “Aren’t you supposed to have bleach blonde hair and a spray tan, then?”

“Aren’t
you
supposed to be starting a fire?” I nudge him on with my shoulder. “Go on, show this city girl how it’s done.”

“Well,” Rich says, looking around, “first we’ll need a fire pit. Ah! Over there.” He points to a spot near the water. It’s too dark for me to make out. “We’ll need some twigs to use for kindling. Those shouldn’t be hard to find around here.” He gestures at the forest behind us. “But they need to be dry, or the flame will never catch.”