Chained (23 page)

I crawled out from beneath the rugs as the truck shuddered to a stop and the engine stilled.  After so long on a gravel road, I knew we must be back “home”.  Soon Travis opened the doors and I hopped down as soon as I could, taking gulps of the frigid air.  Another moment of Regina's screams, and I would go crazy.

Travis loaded Rachel into the bed of the pickup and did the same with Regina once he had tied her wrists and ankles with zip ties. 

The horizon behind us was dark and threatening with the approach of a winter storm.  I climbed into the cramped pickup cab next to Travis and watched the storm through the window as we drove up the hill to the house.

“Where do you think you're going?”  Master asked when I got out and headed for the porch.

“I was just going...”

“No.  You'll sleep in the barn like the rest of them.”

Head lowered, I walked next to Travis to the barn.  With Master watching, I went quietly into my stall.  Rachel went next to me, and Regina beyond her.  The barn was so cold, even with the industrial sort of heaters that glowed red on the tops of the walls. 

We were left alone in the barn.  I burrowed into my nest of blankets, shivering.  At least Master had let me keep my sweater and pants, unlike the other girls.  Regina had been forcibly stripped and dressed in a gown by Travis once she was in her stall.  Now she was screaming and throwing herself against the walls.

As the hours dragged on, the storm rolled in.  I could hear the distant staticky sound as the snowflakes fell on the barn's metal roof.  The wind swirled through every little crack in the building and made the barn creak.  Even though the blankets smelled horrible, any part of me that was outside of them quickly became in danger of frostbite, so I huddled underneath them and breathed shallowly through my mouth.

The barn quickly grew dark as nighttime approached...or maybe it was just the clouds blocking the sun.  The only light was the glow of the heater rods. 

There was a flash outside, followed closely by the rumble of thunder.  I hadn't even known it was possible to have thunder with snowstorms.  Even in captivity, I was learning something.

Snow fell harder, swirling in through the cracks in the sides of the barn.  Regina was sobbing and kept hitting the wall.  She must be covered in splinters by now.  I could see through the knothole that Rachel lay still and shivering under her blankets, groaning with pain. 

“Rachel? Are you okay?”  As usual, there was no answer.

“Let me out!”  yelled Regina, throwing herself against the wall so hard that the whole structure shuddered.  “Let me go!  I won't tell anyone, I promise!  Just let me out!”

“It's no use,”  I called to her.  “You're just going to wear yourself out.”

“I've got to get out of here!  Please, let me out!  Sarah, help me!”

Tears pricked my eyes.  “I am just as much a prisoner as you.”

Finally Regina collapsed to the floor, sobbing loudly. 

A year ago I would have been shocked at my own feelings.  I felt almost impatient.  They all acted like this at first.  Denial, desperate begging and pleading.  Then the exhaustion and depression would set in.  If they survived that, either total insanity like Rachel, or the defeated acceptance that Jenny had adopted.  One way or another, they all went through the stages.  I could do nothing to help except listen, and I was in the same situation as them and just as helpless.  I wished Regina would get through the screaming stage and go into the quiet one.  I felt awful, but I knew she wasn't getting out anytime soon and that she had no choice but to accept that she was a prisoner.  The sooner she accepted that, the easier it would be.

***

It took days for the snow to melt this time.  Each day Travis trudged through the drifts to bring us our food.  He assured me that Master would leave as soon as the road was clear, and I would be able to go in the house.  I tried to remember that the other girls had no such option, and not to wish so urgently for my chance to be in the heated house again.  Despite my best efforts, I spent most of each day dreaming of hot showers and a soft mattress.

Finally the day came, though nothing went quite as I expected.  In the morning Master came to the barn and hoisted Rachel into his arms, leaving with her fever-wracked body held against his chest.  Travis followed soon behind.  He unlatched my door and handed me the tray that held my toast and lunch meat breakfast.  I watched past him as Master carried Rachel's limp body, placing her in the pickup truck bed before driving away.

“Where's he taking her?”

Travis looked after his father as the little blue truck headed down the hill toward the semi.  “There's nothing more we can do for her.”

Sudden tears filled my eyes, and I was unable to stop the sob.  “No!  Oh no....”

Travis pulled me into his arms, and I let myself cry on his shoulder, if for no other reason than the fact that he was a warm spot in this frigid barn.  Only for a moment through. As soon as I could control the tears I pulled back and wiped my eyes.

“I don't know why you care so much for someone that obviously hated you,”  Travis remarked.

I subconsciously rubbed my growing belly.  “I care for all human life.  How she feels about me doesn't change anything.”

Travis shook his head.  “You are very strange.”  On that note he left the stall, latching my door before moving onto Regina's. 

I only had a moment to wonder why Regina had been so uncharacteristically quiet, when the latch clinked and Travis slid the door open.  Through my door I saw him stoop to place the tray on the ground.  Suddenly there was a loud
thunk
, and Travis collapsed. 

At the bottom of the hill, the semi truck rumbled as the engine turned on.  Regina appeared in the doorway, clad only in the nightgown and the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders.

“Regina?  What are you doing?”

Regina ignored me as she stepped over Travis's prone body and ran on bare feet toward the door. 

“Regina!”  I called, but she did not look back or respond.  She continued to run, quickly disappearing from my line of sight into the howling wind.

“Travis!  Travis, are you okay?” 

There was no response.  In a sudden panic I pushed against my door, reaching through the mesh to try and reach the latch.  All I got for my efforts was splinters in the most tender part of my inner arm. 

“Travis!  Travis, wake up!”  I rattled the door, looking around for any options.  I turned the waste bucket upside down and stood on it, but I could still barely reach the top of the wall with my fingertips.

After several moments of attempts that yielded no results, I heard a groan from where Travis lay.

“Hey!”  I called.  “Travis, are you okay?”

There was no response except for another groan. 
Well, at least he's alive...what the heck is Regina doing?  She's going to die out there.  She doesn't even have any shoes!

I worried and paced, not sure who I was most concerned about.  I had told Travis the truth.  Except maybe for Master, I hadn't yet met a person I couldn't muster some level of caring for.  Despite everything, I cared deeply for Travis.  I could never quite shake my impression of him as a young man deeply in the throes of a life of abuse that had completely warped his sense of right and wrong.  I had seen enough kindness from him to believe that he truly did want to be a good person.

God, please don't let him die.  Even if only for my sake.  I won't live for the next week without water.  I need Travis to survive.

Eventually I worried myself into a state of exhaustion, and retreated to my blankets, where I lay shivering.  The temperature must have gone above freezing because it began to rain, the drops pinging on the barn roof.

Finally Travis stirred, groaning loudly.  I rushed to the door to see him push himself to his feet. 
 

“Travis!”

The young man pushed himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the wall.  He stumbled to my stall and pulled the latch.  I rushed out to squirm under one of his arms, supporting him as his legs trembled.

“Help me get to the house,”  he muttered.  “I have to call Master.”

Slowly I helped him to the house, straining under his weight.  By the time we got to the porch, I was panting, dizzy and nauseous.  I collapsed on the couch while he limped off to find his phone, holding a hand to his head.

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the swimming in my head, listening to the one-sided phone conversation.

“Master?  The girl is gone.  She knocked me out.  I think she followed you.”  Pause.  “Yes, Master.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry, Father.  Yes, I will look for her.  Yes, I understand.  Yes, sir.  See you soon.”  The phone clicked off and Travis came into the living room, looking even more pale than he had a moment ago. 

“I would suggest you go hide somewhere.  Somewhere he can't find you.  He's coming back, and he's not happy.”

I headed toward the door, thinking he meant the barn, but Travis reached out an arm to stop me.  “Not there.  He will look there first.  Go hide under the bed or in the closet.  He won't think to look those places.”

There was a fear in Travis's eyes that I had never seen before, and it scared me enough to do what I was told without question.  I moved into the bedroom and crawled under the bed, sneezing from the dust on the carpet.  I laid my cheek against the floor and tried to still my breathing, listening as Travis walked out of the house, pulling the door closed behind him.  For a while there was silence, long enough that I think I drifted off to sleep for a few minutes, lulled by the warmth and lack of noxious smells.

I woke suddenly to the slam of the front door, and the sound of stumbling footsteps. 

“Fool!”  Master roared, and there was the sound of blows.  “The last time I could understand.  The girl was smart and she found a weakness we'd not considered.  But this?  You let yourself be overpowered by a girl?  I thought you were a man!” 

More thumps, and cries of pain.  “Stand up!”  Master cried.  “Stop cowering!  Get up and act like a man!”

I heard crying.  Groaning.  More yelling, words I will not repeat, and more blows.

“Now go find her!”  Master yelled, and there was a scramble, then the front door closed.  Master stomped along the hall to his bedroom, muttering under his breath.  Outside, I heard one of the smaller vehicles sputter and the sound of an engine.  After a few moments Master went back outside, and the second vehicle turned on.

For what seemed like hours I waited, afraid to move lest Master come back and catch me in the house.  I listened for the sound of vehicles returning, running to the bathroom when my bladder would wait no longer. 

Finally, when the light through the window had started to dim, I heard a vehicle returning.  As I listened I heard a door close. Then, after a moment, footsteps on the porch.  The lock on the front door turned, and someone entered.

Boots stomped down the hall, hesitated just outside the bedroom door.  I held my breath as he entered the room, praying he wouldn't find me. 

A jean-clad knee pressed into the carpet, and the bed skirt was pulled up, revealing his face.

Chapter 26: 
Bruised, Not Broken

“Oh, it's you,”  I sighed with relief as Travis's face came into view.

Travis reached down and helped me climb out from under the bed.  “Did you find her?”

“You don't want to know.”  Travis was obviously in pain.  He limped to the bed and sat down, groaning.  There was a bruise starting around one of his eyes, and he held his side as if some ribs were broken.

But I do.  I need to know.  I have to know if she's alive.
  I sat down next to him.  “Please tell me.”

Travis didn't seem in the mood to argue.  “We found her.”

“And?”

But no matter how I pressed, he just shook his head and refused to tell me any more.  He rose from the bed and walked into the bathroom.  I heard the shower turn on.

God, please let her be alive. 
I considered going out to the barn to see if she was there.  At that thought I realized I didn't really want to know. Maybe in this case, hope was better than reality.  From what I knew of Master, I had little hope that Regina was still alive, even though my stubborn brain refused to accept that she was gone.

Stupid, stupid girl.  To run off in the winter with no shoes, no coat, in the middle of the day.  You couldn't have picked a worse way to try to escape. 
Yet, at some level, I understood, and knew that a year ago I would have done the same.  I
had
done the same, but unlike with Regina, someone besides the escapee had paid the ultimate price.

I crawled beneath the blankets on the bed and curled around a pillow, hugging it tight to my chest.  Just like that, another life gone to the sadistic serial killer.  Because really, that's what he was.  He might not kidnap us with the intention of killing us, but that's what happened.  I had no idea how many girls had died at his hands.  Right now, with the exception of possibly Rachel, I was the only one of his victims still left alive.

The shower turned off, and Travis emerged from the bathroom.    He walked around the bed and sat down, his back to me.  I stared at the back of his head, his dark hair dripping water down his neck.

When he turned to me, there was a familiar and dreaded look in his eyes.  “Come here.”

“Travis, you're hurt.  You should rest.”  I pushed myself up to a sitting position, scooting as far away from him as I could.

“I'll rest later.  Come
here,
Sarah.”

How could he go so quickly from protecting me to hurting me?  Tears started in my eyes as I got up from the bed and backed away.  “Please don't, Travis.  Please not now.”

Travis growled and got up, quickly closing the distance between us.  He pressed me against the wall, hands beside my head.  “I may have just saved your life.  The least you could do is show me some gratitude.”

A tear ran down my cheek, and I shut my eyes against the intensity in his face.  “Travis, please.  Please don't.”

Travis shifted and I thought he was leaving, but his hand quickly came back as he slapped my face.  I cried out, putting a hand to my cheek. 

“Ungrateful wretch,”  he growled.  “I took this beating for you.  This is how you repay me?”

He seized my arms and threw me onto the bed.  Surrendering to the inevitable, I didn't move, though the tears refused to stop.  I bit my lip until it bled to keep from crying out.  Where he kissed me, my blood came away on his lips.  I shut my eyes tightly to block out the sight.  He looked almost like a vampire, with his pale face and blood on his skin.

When it was over, he laid behind me and whispered into my ear:  “I have done so much for you.  This is all I ask in return.”

My stomach heaved suddenly and I bolted to the bathroom, where I knelt over the toilet and sobbed.  He followed me in, watching dispassionately as my stomach rebelled.

When I flipped the toilet handle and sat back, wiping my mouth with my hand, he knelt next to me and pushed my hair behind my ear.  “You know I love you.  But relationships have to be give and take, Sarah.  You can't expect things to be all about you.”

I closed my eyes as his fingers wiped a tear from my cheek.  “I'm sorry,”  I whispered. 

“Can we agree that you give me what I want in return for my protection of you?”

“Travis...please.  Please don't do this.”  I could never agree to such a thing.  Protection from a beating wasn't worth allowing him to violate me.  “I'm sorry...but please.  Please don't make me agree to this.”

Travis snarled and recoiled just long enough to slap me.  I huddled against the tub, sobbing.

He rose to his feet and kicked me, his boot connecting with a blinding pain against my hip.  I screamed.  I fell into a fetal position on the floor, clutching my leg.  Another kick, and a third, these into my ribs. 

“Stop, Travis, please!  The baby!”

“Promise me!”  Another impact, this one on my shoulder.

God, help me.  “
I'm sorry!”  I cried, holding a hand out.  “I'll promise!  Please just stop!”

The blows stopped, and I looked up.  Travis had gone even paler, and he swayed against the door frame.  “Finish...this...later...”  he mumbled, stumbling into the bedroom, where he collapsed onto the bed.  Obviously his injuries had finally caught up with him, but a little too late.  I lay on the bathroom floor, waiting for the pain to subside, trying to breathe through the agony in my ribs.  I gasped shallow breaths until I could move again. 

I dozed right there on the bathroom floor, drifting in and out of an agonized state of half sleep.  When I woke fully, I dragged myself up on the edge of the sink and stared at my gaunt, blotchy face in the mirror. 

Oh, God, protect my baby. 
I cradled my belly beneath my hands, wishing the baby was big enough that I could feel reassured by its movement.  But it was still weeks until that was possible.

I used handfuls of cold water to wash the dried blood from my lip before stumbling into the bedroom.  It was full night now, and the room was dark but for the light from the bathroom and a weak gleam of moonlight through the window.

I made my way to the kitchen and pulled a few crackers from the pantry to quiet my aching stomach.  I stood at the front window, staring out at the moonlit yard.  Wind stirred, ruffling through the dead prairie grass.

Despite my exhaustion, I knew there was no way I could sleep next to Travis after what he had just done to me.  I walked back to the bathroom and stepped over the jeans he had never put back on that lay in a pile on the floor, turning the shower on. 

I hadn't had a bath since before we left on the cross country trip for Travis and Master to complete their plan of capturing Regina.  I sat in the tub and let the water pour over me until it turned cold before I finally got out and got dressed.  I pulled my journal out from beneath the sink.  I put the toilet lid down and stared at the plain black cover of the notebook, but I was unable to muster the energy to write.

As I sat there in a stupor, my eyes were drawn to Travis's jeans on the floor.  There was a thought or revelation trying to make its way to the forefront of my cloudy brain.  I closed my eyes to try and gain access to the train of thought.

My eyes sprang open as I grasped it, and I stared at the jeans on the floor.  I placed my journal on the counter and crossed to the door, looking out to make sure Travis was still asleep.  Closing the door all but a crack, I dug through the pockets.  Phone.  I needed to find his phone.

No phone, and I sat back in defeat, then I realized what I held in my hand and my heart began to pound faster.

Keys.  Travis had left his keys in his pocket before he fell asleep.

My stomach clenched and my heart thudded. 
God, should I try again?  Should I take the chance? 

I knew there wouldn't be an answer.  But then again, I already knew what I had to do.

With trembling hands, I hooked my finger through the key ring and pulled the jumble of metal toward me, cradling them carefully to keep them from jingling.  I flicked the bathroom light off and stepped through the door.

Travis sighed and shifted and I froze, my heart pounding.  He was still asleep. 

Hardly daring to breathe, I edged my way out of the bedroom.