Catastrophe Practice (16 page)

Bert sits in the chair that the Char has left. Harry puts out a hand to the Hostess. She comes and takes it
.

The Four by the plate-glass have come to the front of the stage, right. They look out at the wings, tentatively
.

Harry and the Hostess seem to quote —

The Hostess puts her head in her hands, as if embarrassed
.

The Four are watching Harry and the Hostess
.

Harry interrupts —

He puts a hand to his head
.

After a time —

The Hostess leaves Harry. She goes to the gothic door, left. She turns and looks at the Four, right. Bert speaks as if with increasing difficulty —

He stops
.

There is a long silence
.

Then Bert speaks with a hand over his eyes
.

You're in some sort of trouble, can I help you?

After a time the Four realise he is talking to them
.

Harry has been watching the Hostess
.

Bert speaks with increasing confidence
.

You should have been at the control tower this morning. They thought it was a game, but it was not.

The Barman, behind the bar, takes a dust sheet and throws it over the machine, the lights of which have gone out
.

The Hostess goes out through the gothic door, left
.

Harry takes the table, left, and turns it on its side. Then he takes the three chairs and puts them this way and that on the table, as if he were constructing a shelter
.

Harry stands back and looks at his shelter
.

Bert takes his hand from his eyes
.

Harry goes to the table, right, and takes it to build up his shelter
.

Your old grandmother, in Australia, has a message for you —

Harry puts the table on top of his shelter
.

— You might hit a little doggie in the road.

He stands back and surveys his tower, or shelter
.

Harry goes and collects the chairs from where the table was, right, and makes his shelter more solid
.

Harry goes to the front of the stage and looks at the curtain which is stretched along by the footlights
.

Harry takes hold of the curtain and drags it to his shelter. He tries, with difficulty, to throw it over the structure to form a roof like that of a nomad's tent. It floats. At the third attempt he succeeds in getting it over the shelter. He walks round, tucking it in at the base
.

Bert, by the footlights, puts his hand to his eyes. He rubs them. Then he takes his hands from his eyes: blinks. It is as if he can see
.

Harry stops by him
.

Smudger speaks from the back loudly —

Bert is watching the audience
.

Harry has finished arranging his shelter. It is like a nomad's tent. He walks round it
.

The Char calls from the bar —

Geordie suddenly goes to the gothic door, left, and goes out
.

They wait
.

The Barman has been putting away bottles and glasses behind the bar
.

Harry murmurs —

Then Geordie comes in again at the gothic door, left. When he sees the scene it is as if he had not expected it. He looks back the way he has come. Then he comes into the room leaving the door
open behind him: he touches the food-hatch, the bar, as if they might not be real
.

Through the gothic door which Geordie has left open there can be glimpsed the figures of the two Hostesses, off-stage. The younger Hostess seems to have her hand on a light switch. Then the older Hostess ducks out of sight
.

The neon lights go off
.

There is a dim light from beyond the plate-glass window
.

After a time, the older Hostess comes in through the gothic door. She stands in the centre of the stage, with one hand across her chest, as if posing. Then a spotlight comes on her from the flies
.

The light from behind the window becomes brighter
.

The older Hostess begins to undress
.

Harry says as if amused —

She stops undressing
.

Harry is looking up at the flies
.

After a time the Hostess turns to the bar at the back

The spotlight goes off
.

At the bar, the Barman and the Char, together with Norbert, seem surreptitiously to have been having a drink. They seem to try to hide their glasses. Then they gather round Geordie, who seems to be ill
.

The Hostess turns to Bert —

From the bar, there is a sound of giggling
.

The plate-glass window has become brighter
.

Harry looks towards the plate-glass. He calls —

The younger Hostess answers from the wings,

right —

Harry looks at the audience
.

The light from behind the plate-glass becomes brighter
.

Harry goes and stands with his back to the plate-glass window. He turns and faces the older Hostess, to the left. He puts a hand to his eyes, as if to shield them from light, but the light is behind him
.

The Hostess turns to Harry. She is in her underclothes. She strikes a seductive pose, her hands behind her, leaning back against the tables and chairs
.

Harry takes his hand from his eyes and puts it in
his pocket. It is as if he might hold a pistol there. He is smiling. Then the Hostess leans forward with her arms behind her like a bird
.

Shall I say my prayers?

Bert leaves his chair and goes to the wings, front left, and picks up a rifle there and seems to load it. Harry murmurs —

He seems about to take his hand out of his pocket Then the light from the plate-glass window becomes blinding. Harry leans forward peering at the Hostess
.

Bert sits on the ground with his rifle, with his back against the proscenium arch, left
.

The Hostess, with her back to Bert, and facing Harry, stretches her hands out towards him
.

A second CURTAIN, the colour of gold, comes down
.

Bert is still sitting with his back against the proscenium arch, left. He holds the rifle on his knees. He appears to doze
.

The CURTAIN rises
.

SCENE: the same. The stage is still lit, but not so brightly, from light beyond the plate-glass window. Waldorf, Smudger and Norbert are by the window looking out. They cast long shadows to the opposite wall. Geordie is sitting against the wall by the machine, right
.

The Barman and the Char are at the bar, as if poring over papers
.