Castles in the Sand (40 page)

“You know, Kenzie, even as a toddler, you’d scurry off when people were around. I’d discover you later, perfectly content in a quiet corner, spinning your own fairy tales and humming original music. That’s just you. It’s the way God made you and it’s okay. You need to find your quiet corner and let this song write itself out.”

She stared at her. Tears pooled again. “I can’t find the corner anymore.”

Susan heard movement through the screen door and looked up. Drake approached, his arms laden with paper grocery sacks, a bouquet of flowers in one hand.

Kenzie inhaled sharply. “What’s
he
doing here?”

Unease tore through Susan like a charging bull. Every muscle tensed. Her throat went dry.

Drake reached the door and paused, looking at them through it. His eyes met hers.

And she saw fear and hope and compassion. Maybe it was her imagination, but those were the emotions he voiced when he spoke of Kenzie. They were there inside of him. All brand new.

Susan recognized her own response as all old. Something to discard.
I am not their referee anymore
. Her muscles relaxed.

“Kenzie, your dad is here because he loves us. And you know what?” She touched her daughter’s chin and turned her face toward her. “He just might know where your quiet corner is.”

The reunion between father and daughter soared somewhere beyond awkward.

Drake stumbled over words. Kenzie actually kept her mouth tightly closed up. Susan’s emotions bounced back and forth. Referee or walk off the field?

“Kenzie,” he said, “I don’t know where to begin.” It was his third or fourth repetition of that phrase. “I want to fix things between us. No, I don’t mean that. I do, but I don’t mean that I can force a fix. Or that I even want to try. I want us to dialogue. Both of us talking and listening. Without preemptive judging.”

He went on like that, describing what he wanted to talk about but never doing it. Finally Susan stood. “Excuse me. May I make a suggestion?”

They both looked up at her, their expressions blank.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Then I’m going to put my flowers in a vase and the groceries away. Why don’t you two take Pugsy for a walk and get to know each other again?” She smiled brightly, spun on her heel, and walked down the hall.

They’re all Yours, Lord. Please, please do something!

Spotting her dad through the door made Kenzie feel as though she’d walked into a blast of desert heat. Tears dried on the spot. Emotions puffed away, good and bad alike. Not that she’d felt a good one in recent history except for ten minutes ago when her mom said God made her the way she was and that was okay.

Which probably explained why she didn’t have a thing to say. He could blabber on and on, but the usual hate and anger toward him just didn’t show up.

She wasn’t so sure, though, about taking a walk with him.

He smiled. “Your mom’s been—how do you say it?—pretty ‘right on’ through this whole, uh, situation. Maybe we ought to follow her suggestion.”

“Huh?”

Now his teeth showed and his eyes crinkled. “Yes. I am agreeing outright with your mom. Will wonders never cease, eh? Let’s walk. I suppose we should put Pugsy on his leash?”

That one did it. Drake Starr was going to walk the dog? She unfolded her legs and set Pugsy on the floor.

Her dad turned around in a circle, his face a question mark.

“It’s on the hall tree by the door,” she said.

“Ah.” He went to it and lifted off the leash. “Okay. Pugsy?”

The dog tilted his head, his dark muzzle as scrunched and questioning as her dad’s face.

Kenzie rolled her eyes, walked across the room and took the leash from him. Within a few moments, she’d hooked Pugsy’s collar and walked him out the door.

At the patio fence’s gate, her dad reached around her and unlatched it. “You know what I’d really like to do?”

Leaning down to hold the gate, he was nearly at eye level with her, only inches separating them. Struck with the dark grayness of his eyes, she froze. Were they always that color?

He stared back at her. “May I tell you what I’d really like to do?”

“Sure.”

“Build a sand castle with you.”

“Why?”

“We used to do it.”

“Yeah, when I was like five.” That was a partial truth. They always built one when they were at the beach until she was twelve.

He shrugged. “It might be…fun?”

“Dogs aren’t allowed on the sand in the afternoon.” She didn’t mention that she and her mom had ignored the rule. Her dad and rules were a different story. And there were more people on the beach today than last week.

“Pugsy won’t bother anyone. All he does is sit at your feet.” He pulled a plastic bag from the pocket of his pleated dress slacks and smiled. “For clean up.”

Way too bizarre. She nodded. “The shovels and pails—”

“Are in the shed behind the house. I remember. I’ll get them.” He strode off. “Be right back!”

Kenzie heard unspoken words:
Don’t go anywhere
. He’d always said that to her when she was little and he’d have to leave her for a minute.

Dodging an inline skater, she crossed the boardwalk to the seawall, Pugsy at her heels.

And she didn’t go anywhere, her feet rooted to the concrete by a pair of dark gray eyes.

They worked in silence for a long while. Digging, carrying water in the pails, packing damp sand into walls. Pugsy slept in the shelter of the highest one.

Kenzie stole sidelong glances at her dad. A breeze fluffed his hair all directions. He’d rolled his pale blue dress shirt sleeves above his elbows. He sat flat on the sand, his tan pants a mess, full of sand and wet spots. He seemed oblivious.

“Well.” He rested an elbow on his raised knee and surveyed the castle. “It’s looking good. Plenty of towers.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“So anyway. I don’t know where to begin. But I guess I already said that.”

She nodded and kept on patting and smoothing a wall. “Once or twice.”

“I guess I should just jump in anywhere. Kenzie, I’m sorry. I am so very sorry for hurting you.”

She stilled her hand.

“I ask for your forgiveness. I’ve been a proud fool, too concerned about my own comfort and reputation to love you unconditionally. I’ve been wrong all up and down the line.”

Kenzie looked at him.

The dark gray eyes were on her face. “I love you and your mom more than life itself. And I pushed you both away. By God’s grace, I will spend every waking moment undoing that, repairing what damage I can. Will you give me a chance? Please?”

She blinked rapidly. What was it with this eternal fountain of tears?

“I feel like I left you hanging about the time you turned twelve or thirteen. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with you. We were kind of like buddies up until then. Weren’t we?”

She nodded. The old memories were there from so long ago. Their aftertaste was always one of regret because the good times were short-lived.

“You grew into a young woman, and to tell you the truth, Kenz, that scared me. You were so pretty and boys are such jerks. I treated your mom disrespectfully. I hated the thought of a guy…And so I turned tyrant. You will not do this or that. I used the pulpit like a weapon, thinking the sharp sword of my words could protect you and all the young people in our church. I wanted to control everything.”

He paused, raking his fingers through the sand. “And somewhere along the way God brought all these people. The pews filled up. They came to listen to me. Or so I thought. My head swelled up like a mushroom cloud.” He smiled at her. “Hallelujah, holy winds are blowing through that cloud now, dispersing it to the ends of the earth.”

Holy winds?
She wrinkled her brow at his goofy grin and odd choice of words.

“It’s a Zeke quote.”

“Zeke?”

“He and I had a talk today.”

She went speechless again.

“Aidan and I had a talk on Thursday.”

“Aidan!”

“Strange.” He shook his head as if in disbelief. “I get blown away by a young kid I wanted to strangle and a flakey street preacher. God is getting more mysterious by the hour.”

“Aidan? Thursday?”

“You don’t know about that? He didn’t say anything to you?”

“No. We’re sort of…separated. For now. I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. Things will work themselves out in time. Don’t worry. Your mom and I are together, we’re with you, and we love you.”

It was okay? Don’t worry? He loved her? And thought she was pretty? Her head spun.

“The bottom line is, I realized I would lose you and your mom and my grandchild if I didn’t do something. Only there wasn’t anything I could do in the sense of force or control. I had to lean solely on God. You’d think I would have known how to do that by now. But here we are.” His shoulders rose and fell. “Kenzie, you are welcome to visit or live with us anytime. Pregnant, married or not. No conditions whatsoever. Our home will always be your home. And it’d be all right if you bring Aidan along too.”

As tears spilled from her dad’s eyes, she really didn’t think hers would ever stop again.

Susan pinched her arm and didn’t wake up. Evidently the scene before her happened in real time.

Husband and daughter shivered in front of the fire. Kenzie sat on the brick hearth and Drake stood next to it. They huddled under beach towels, their clothes damp and covered with sand. Traces of tears streaked both faces.

The aura they’d carried in with them through the door surprised Susan most of all. Peace, tenderness, and a trace of joy radiated from them.

They hadn’t even mentioned the delicious garlicky scent from her chicken cacciatore cooking in the oven. Nor had they seemed impressed with her fire-making abilities. Those things mattered not at all in comparison. She sank onto the couch and simply stared as they told her about the enormous castle they’d built.

She had seen it from a distance. Wild horses couldn’t have kept her in the kitchen. Every so often she stepped out onto the patio and gazed their direction. After a while, she could tell they conversed. Then clouds rolled in and the wind increased. The temperature dropped considerably, but none of that seemed to affect them. They still talked, worked on the castle, and even ventured out into the ocean, rinsing hands and splashing each other.

“I think I’ll go soak in the tub,” Kenzie announced. “Mmm, I smell dinner. Is there time?”

“Plenty.” Susan smiled.

Drake said, “And I’d better shower. Did you see the sweats I bought?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Found them at the grocery store. Do you believe they sell that stuff there?”

“Welcome to the new world, Dad. You know, your head’s been in the sand way too long.” Kenzie grinned. “Actually, it looks like it’s been literally buried.”

He laughed with her. “Yeah, well yours looks like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket.”

Kenzie scrunched her nose at him. “I’ll let you use some of my styling goop. You obviously didn’t do a thing with your hair today.”

Susan stared some more.

Kenzie stood and walked past Susan. “Hot tub, here I come.” At the end of the couch she turned on her heel. “But first, I’ll tell you two what I’m thinking so you can discuss it when I’m out of earshot.” She grinned again.

Drake said, “Only if you’re ready, hon. No rush.”

Kenzie’s smile faded. “It’s no rush. It’s one of those things you just know when you know. Deep down.” She propped a hip on the couch arm. “I want to move back home. If it’s okay with you, Mom. Dad already said it’s okay with him. You’re not going to faint, are you?”

Susan realized she had slumped backward, her legs and arms sprawled.

Drake touched her hand.

She turned to see him seated on the other couch arm beside her. His gentle expression told her everything. He had asked Kenzie for forgiveness. He had welcomed her back home.

“Oh, my.” Susan looked at her daughter. “Oh, my.”

“Is that a yes?”

She nodded. “I would love to have you and my grandchild live with us.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Kenzie took a deep breath. “Here goes with the rest of it. I don’t want to marry Aidan. Not now. Maybe never.”