Carried Away: A Small Town Romance (The Moore Brothers Book 2) (8 page)

“Oh no, Ellie. You don’t get to come until I tell you to come and I want your first orgasm with me to be with my dick inside you.” She almost melted at his words, never thought she’d like being told what to do so much. She didn’t respond. Couldn’t. She licked her lips and panted as he dug in his pocket for a condom and then slid his pants off. She couldn’t pull her attention from his monstrous dick as it strained towards her and she smiled as she watched him slide the condom over his shaft. “Do you want me, Ellie?”

She nodded, spreading her legs.

“Say it. Say you want me.”

“Oh god, James,” she managed. “Do I ever want you.”

He moved in close, shoving her further back on her desk, papers and pens and who knows what else clattering to the floor. He pressed the tip of his cock against her opening and she gasped, her eyes locked on his. He pressed forward, his dick filling her, stretching her and her eyes rolled back into her head. He stayed true to his promise and started slowly while she adjusted to being so full and then, as his passion took over, he moved faster and faster. His thrusts grew harder and more insistent and her orgasm built inside her, strong and insistent, waves of pleasure like none she’d ever felt before.

“James! I’m gonna come…” She trailed off and moaned, letting her head slide back.

“Not yet, Ellie. Wait.” He pushed himself all the way inside her and she cried out, doing her best to wait, but there was no way she could hold herself back.

“I can’t…” He thrust deep inside her. Again. And again. “James… I need … I can’t…”

Finally, he spoke. “Come for me, Ellie. Come just for me.” His voice sent ripples of pleasure through her, and her body obeyed his command, clenching tight against his dick as he undulated his hips against her. She cried out, his name both a prayer and a reason to pray and he came, her name on his lips.

“
H
oly shit
, Ellie. You’re amazing.” James leaned forward and nuzzled her neck, trailing kisses down her throat and over her chest before kissing both of those magnificent tits and straightening. He gathered his pants and boxer briefs from the floor and pulled them on.

Ellie shook her head and hopped off the desk. “It’s a shame to cover that up. It’s a thing of beauty.”

“Are you referring to my manhood?”

“Why yes, I am.” Ellie looked around for her shirt. “And did you really just refer to your penis as your manhood?”

“I have a right to call my penis whatever the hell I want to.” James pulled her close before she could gather her clothes. “And for the record, my beautiful
manhood
…” James trailed off and lifted an eyebrow as if to dare her to judge him for using the word. “It pales in comparison to you. You’re stunning, Ellie Charles.”

Ellie blushed and ducked her chin to hide a smile, a movement James found completely endearing. She gathered her clothes from the floor and sighed at the mess of papers on her desk. Tightness settled into her eyes. The space between her eyebrows bunched together and he could swear she was grinding her teeth.

“What’s wrong?” James pulled his shirt over his head and worry set into his stomach. “Please tell me you’re not going to get all weird now.”

“No,” she said and sighed. “It’s not that.”

Everything about her posture said there was something wrong. “What is it then?”

“Okay, it’s a little that. But that’s just a me thing that I’ll get over soon enough.”

Fuck.
James raked his hand through his hair and took a step back. Sure, he could admit that he found her more and more attractive with each passing day. And sure, he could admit that he enjoyed spending time with her because she wasn’t afraid to challenge him. But, damn it. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

Ellie held up her hands. “No need to freak the fuck out. I can see it written all over your face. I get that this relationship isn't really a relationship and it isn’t going anywhere.” She gathered a bunch of papers that had fallen to the ground and started to organize them. “I can’t help it if that was the best sex of my life and I know I’m gonna want more. And I’m sorry that makes me worry, but given how this relationship has an expiration date, I just got a little worried about how you might ruin me for all other men and I’ll end up having to forsake sex altogether because no one can live up to you.”

“Well, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad,” James said, even though he was busy searching her face for any signs that she was lying. “Although, I guess we can both agree that it sucks to be you.”

She caught the joke and laughed and James was caught by how beautiful she was. How infectious her happiness was. She looked down at his crotch and gave him a wicked grin. “Not until December, my friend. Until then, I think I won the sex lotto.”

That strange look tightened her eyes again and James decided to ignore it. He held out his elbow. “Shall we?” he asked, indicating the door.

Ellie shook her head. “You go ahead. I’ve got this mess to deal with,” she said and waved her hand over the desk. “Plus, there’s still the kitchen to clean up. And, I’ve got to solve for missing a cook tomorrow.”  She crossed her arms over her gorgeous chest and perched on the edge of the desk. Her shoulders rounded forward and she swallowed hard. “I’ll walk you to the door though.” Ellie stifled a yawn.

“No way. Not gonna happen.” She paused with her hand on his arm and he recognized the admiring squeeze she gave his bicep. He flexed a little, couldn’t help but show off. “You left the kitchen a mess because I had my hard head set on leaving at two. You closed early because I wanted to be at Shrimp Fest for as long as possible. And hell, that cook went bonkers and walked out because of me, too. You’re not cleaning up the mess by yourself when I had such a hand in making it.”

She tried to protest, but he wouldn’t have it. Seriously, what kind of guy did she think he was? The kind of guy like Ethan and Oliver, who had no qualms about using women for their own needs and just discarding them when they were done? Except, isn’t that exactly what he’d been doing since Erin left? He’d had a string of one night stands to make up for his ridiculous faithfulness over a decade to a woman who hadn’t even had the grace to be faithful in return.

James thought back over the weeks of blurry nights and headachy mornings. The booze and the women and the weekends at The Pit. He heard Ethan and Oliver egging him on, cheering when he was at his worst. Maybe Ellie did have a reason to misjudge him.

He scrubbed the floor while she did the dishes, dancing in place to the music streaming over her phone. With the two of them working together, it didn’t take long at all to get the kitchen put back to rights. James’s head was a mess of thoughts, all tangled up and twisted and painful and confusing. He tried to smile around them. Didn’t want Ellie to see them and think they were because of her.

“Thanks,” she said, a wide smile making her eyes so sweet and gentle. “I’d still have several hours worth of work ahead of me if it wasn’t for you.”

“What are you going to do about your missing cook?”

“Don’t you worry about that. I’ll call someone in tomorrow and start looking for a replacement. Tomorrow might suck, but don’t you worry about me. I’m not afraid of hard work.”

James watched her yawn and thought that was probably very true. In fact, it would probably do her some good to develop a fear of hard work. Take some time off. Breathe a little deeper. Smile a little more. He didn’t say any of that, though. He just offered her his best smile and held out his hand. “Walk you to the door?”

Ellie shook her head. “I still need to do a little paperwork—”

“Ellie,” he said, unable to keep the bossy factor out of his voice. “It’s late. And I’m guessing you’ll be here very early.” He paused while she nodded. “The paperwork will be here in the morning.”

“Yeah, but the cook won’t. And there’s no guarantee that the guy I’m gonna call will be able to come in on such short notice. There’s a high probability that tomorrow will be jam packed with too much to do. It's gonna suck. ”

“Nope. I hereby deem it un-suck-worthy. You have officially found your replacement cook.” He surprised himself by offering to help her, but tried not to let it show on his face. The fact of the matter was he just didn’t like the thought of leaving Ellie in a lurch.

“And just how do you think you’re going to run a kitchen? I doubt you even know how to cook.”

“I am a Moore and my mother and brother are fantastic in the kitchen and I picked up a thing or two along the way. I’m sure, with some creative censoring of certain difficult menu items, that I’ll be able to keep up.”

It didn’t take long for him to talk her into letting him help. She probably didn’t have a clue how she was going to get anyone to cover for that jerk who walked out on her today because she had a date with him. And, given what he thought he knew about her, she would have just put her nose to the grindstone and done all the work herself tomorrow. Probably would have managed to get everything done, even if she did just go home and fall into bed afterword.

He got the details about tomorrow from her and pulled her in for a long kiss. He shouldn’t be at all excited about having to get up as early as he was going to have to in order help her out, but he was actually looking forward to spending another day with her. He pressed her body close to his and said his goodbyes. Watched as she climbed into her dinosaur of a car and followed her out of the lot until she took off towards her apartments.

As he drove himself home, his mood darkened. What the hell was he doing? It was one thing to hang out with her in public places, another thing to lose control and fuck her brains out. She was hot after all, and he’d been attracted to her since that first day she brought him home and made out with him in his bed. But, coming to her rescue at work? Spending extra time with her because he wanted to and not because it would help make their relationship more believable? That was another thing altogether.

Sure, having people come to Good Beginnings in the morning and see him there helping her out in a lurch would help further people’s belief that he had real feelings for her, but the fact of the matter was that he didn’t offer to help her out to make people think he was falling for her. He offered to help because he
wanted
to help her. And that was a slippery slope.

That kind of stuff led to love and love was fucked up as all hell. When James was in love, all he wanted to do was take care of his woman, sacrifice his needs to make sure she had everything she ever wanted. What good did that do him? Giving and giving and giving so much of himself only to have it taken from him. Ten years of taking care of Erin had left him with a broken home and a shattered heart. Letting himself feel anything even remotely like love or protection was a dangerous game.

James ripped through the gears on his bike, edging the speedometer up close to one hundred. He fought images of Ellie clinging to his back this afternoon, her warm arms pressed so tightly around him. Images of Ellie smiling up at him as they danced on the beach. Ellie with her legs wrapped around him, his dick fully sheathed inside her, her eyes rolling back in pleasure.

He fought them back. Let his hurt swallow them up. When he got home, he parked the Ducati in the garage, barreled through the house and poured himself a drink. Chugged it down and poured himself another. And another. And then, knowing he should be asleep, regretting his plans to help Ellie open the store, he started throwing punch after punch at his heavy bag. He should have taped his hands. Should have worn gloves, but he welcomed the pain in his hands and knuckles. Let the physical pain outweigh the emotional pain. When his knuckles split open and started to bleed, he kept punching, grunting and gasping for air until he was nothing but a raw nerve, shaking with pain and fury. Then, and only then, did he wander upstairs and collapse into a dreamless sleep.

E
llie woke half
nervous and half excited about spending the day with James at the cafe. She was energized, her body humming with anxiety and she couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or bad thing. Part of her hoped he didn’t even show up. That she could write him off as the player he’d become instead of hoping he was still the hero he used to be.

James did show up. And he was very good in the kitchen. But, his breath stank of whiskey and his knuckles were covered in bandages with bruises peeking out from underneath them. Whatever happened between the time he left the restaurant last night and the time he staggered in through the door this morning wasn’t good. She avoided him, only crossing paths long enough to give him some directions or to answer his monosyllabic questions. She would talk to him about what was wrong later.

Or maybe not at all.

If this was the way he was going to be, maybe she didn’t want anything to do with him after all.

As the hours stretched out in cycles of awkward silences and the hum of customers and their chatter, Ellie found herself watching James more and more in the quiet moments of the day. His dark eyes were sunken and rimmed in pain. The more she watched him, the more she saw a man battling despair. A man whose heart was burning him from the inside out. He kept his eyes averted not just from her, but from everyone, as if he wanted to disappear, to go unseen.

Sometime around noon, she brought him a glass of water and some ibuprofen. “Want a coffee?” she asked as she set the water beside him, carefully avoiding eye contact.

James shrugged. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. But we’ll just skip that part for now. Coffee? Or no?”

He finally made eye contact with her and the storm boiling beneath his surface caught her off guard. Her breath caught in her throat. He dropped his eyes to his work. “No. Thank you. I brought this on myself. I’ll deal with the consequences myself.”

Ignoring the ibuprofen, he took a long drink from the water and didn’t make eye contact with her again. She blew a long breath out of her mouth and was about to let him know just exactly how much she didn’t appreciate the silence, didn’t appreciate the about face in his attitude, that he was worrying her, making her feel awkward, when she heard another round of customers come in. She raced off to the counter, glad that her mouth didn’t get a chance to totally alienate him. Whatever it was he was dealing with, the last thing he needed was her piling a bunch of awkward relationship crap on top of it all. That was the whole point of the fake relationship. He wasn’t ready for a real one. Not now, and maybe not ever.

And that was fine, except that she felt herself growing more and more concerned about his well-being. More and more attached to being around him. He might not want a relationship, but she was starting to wonder if maybe she did. The day ended and James left with barely a word said between them. Ellie’s stomach roiled and boiled with nerves and anger.

Parasite Steve had used her for her apartment and for her money. For him, she was nothing more than a roof over his head, food in his belly, and a place to put his dick at night. She hadn’t loved him and she hadn’t felt loved. And she didn’t want that any more. Never again. She wanted to be loved and to feel loved in return. She wanted to look at someone the way Juliet had looked at Ian the other night.

She had agreed to pretend to date James when she was tipsy off margaritas and atmosphere. She had agreed because it had sounded fun, like a chance to break through the tedium of everyday being the same. Sleeping with him had been a terrible decision because now she was in a situation where she wasn’t going to be able to keep her emotions separated from this agreement. She was going to end up wanting more than he could give, spending the next several months feeling used. Had she traded one parasite for another? Had she been so wrapped up in who James used to be that she hadn’t noticed who he’d become?

By the time she got home, her mood was just as dark as James’s had been that morning. After spending the day mainlining coffee, she was way too wired to take the nap she craved, the nap she knew would make her feel better. She plopped on the couch and tried to lose herself in a book, but she couldn’t stop thinking about James. The hurt in his eyes. The bruises on his knuckles. The whiskey on his breath. What had happened after he left the restaurant last night?

They’d had such a good time at the Shrimp Fest, laughing with Ian and Juliet, dancing as the sun set over the water. And the kiss that had sent them back to Good Beginnings, it’d been so passionate, so … so … real.

But I want to kiss you,
he had said to her on the dance floor.
Not fake girlfriend Ellie, but the woman I have in my arms right now.

And what had he said to her the moment they were alone?

I’ve wanted you since you took me home from Fantastic Sam’s that first night. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I can’t. Not any longer.

Was that the problem? Ellie sat up and scooted towards the edge of the sofa, her thoughts swirling in a hurricane of questions. Was he developing feelings for her?

This was the kind of day that warranted a drink. She wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Reading was out of the question. With all the thoughts she had flitting through her head, she couldn’t get one word read without interrupting herself. She turned on the TV and kicked her heels up on the coffee table, flipped through the channels until she found an old movie and leaned back on the couch.

Two beers later, the whirlwind of thought had died down and Ellie was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. After making sure her alarm was set for way too damn early, she curled up on the couch and closed her eyes. She was too tired to worry about putting herself to bed properly. She just needed this day to be over so she could focus on making tomorrow better.

It felt like she had just closed her eyes when her phone started blaring at her from its place on the arm of the couch. She sat up, confused and achy and not at all pleased with herself for choosing to pass out downstairs rather than head on up to bed. She reached for her phone and realized that it wasn’t her alarm, it was a phone call. In fact, it wasn’t just any phone call, it was a phone call from James.

She answered the call and completely skipped all the pleasantries. “What the hell, James? Do you realize what time it is?”

“Yeah, it’s late. Sorry.” His words were slurred to oblivion.

“How drunk are you?”

“Too drunk to stop myself from calling you, but not drunk enough to make me forget I wanted to.”

“James…” Ellie’s heart fluttered to life at his words and she took a minute to push those feelings right back down where they belonged. “Can you get someone to drive you home?”

“I don’t know. Can you drive me home?”

She made an exasperated sound into the phone and stood. However long she’d been asleep, it hadn’t been long enough to sober her up. “No. I’m at home. I was asleep. Get someone where you are to drive you home.”

“I am where you are.”

“What?”

Someone knocked on her front door and she heard it on a slight delay through the phone. “Knock, knock, Ellie. Can I please come in?”

Totally on autopilot, she stormed to the door and flung it open and found James leaning against the wall, phone still to his ear.

“Hi, Ellie,” he said into the phone, then, when he realized that she was standing in front of him, a smile slithered across his face and he pointed at her. “There you are. Right. There.” He fumbled with his phone, disconnecting the call she had already disconnected and then shoved it into his pocket. “Can I come in?”

She sighed and grabbed his arm, enjoying the taut muscles dancing under her fingers despite her frustrations with him. “Yes,” she said, pulling him inside. “Come in.”

He stumbled forward, passing her, and she reached up to put her hands on his shoulders to guide him towards the couch. “I’m glad to see you,” he said. “I missed you the moment I left the cafe.”

She didn’t know if she should yell at him or feel sorry for him or just give in and fall completely head over heels in love with him. “I’m sure you didn’t, but that’s sweet of you to say.”

James sprawled out on the couch and opened his arms to her, frowning when she sat primly on the opposite end of the couch. “I can’t drive you home,” she said, ignoring his pouty face. “I’ve had too much to drink tonight, too.”

“Aha!” His eyes lit up like he’d caught her doing something bad. “See! You broke the promise, too.”

“But, James, I didn’t make the promise. I don’t have a problem with alcohol.”

“I don’t, either.”

“Oh, yeah? Which of us is so drunk he can’t get himself home safely? For the third time that I know of?”

James pondered her statement, his handsome face creasing with concern. “I guess that’d be me.”

“And I get the feeling that you probably needed help getting home on other occasions and I just wasn’t there to know.”

“That’s probably true.” James leaned his head back on the couch. “I just need to be numb. I hate going home. Because it’s not a home anymore. It’s just a house. All the stuff that made it a home is gone.”

Ellie didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t say a word. If James was about to talk about all the stuff he’d been holding inside, she wasn’t going to stop him. All the pain he’d been bottling had been poisoning him. It needed out.

“And it’s not like I was still in love with her when she called it off.” James lifted his head and his gaze settled on Ellie. Despite the slur in his words and the droop of his eyelids, Ellie could see that he was conscious of what he was telling her. He wasn’t spewing off some drunken speech that he’d forget in the morning. He knew what he was saying and who he was saying it to.

“But that doesn’t make it hurt any less,” she said, still afraid to move and break whatever spell he’d fallen under.

James shook his head. “Nope. And the betrayal of being cheated on? You haven’t been cheated on before.”

“No. Parasite Steve was the only long-term relationship I’ve ever had.” She almost finished that thought, almost said what was in her head and heart, but clamped down on the words before she could say him.
Love can shatter you. I avoid it like the plague.
“But I’ve experienced betrayal, it was different, but I know what it means when someone you love turns on you.”

“It rips your heart out, right? Shatters all you thought you had, destroys the way you saw your life. The way you saw yourself. I couldn’t even look at her after she told me. And here, I’d been faithful to her the entire time. Do the math, Ellie. We’d been together since middle school and I’d been faithful to her the entire time. Now, here I am, twenty-three years old and up until last month, I’d only been with one woman. And apparently, she’d been with her fair share of men.” Bitterness wreaked havoc on his face, twisting his features with pain. “What kind of man am I? Inexperienced like that?”

“I’m here to tell you that being with one woman didn’t hinder your ability in the sex department.” Ellie smiled and shifted in her seat, leaned into the arm of the couch. “You gave me the best orgasms I’ve ever had in my life. Three of them in one go, if I remember correctly.”

James shrugged and ducked his chin. That explains all the sleeping around. He was embarrassed by his fidelity. Well, not the actual fidelity, but the resulting lack of experience it brought him. And the drinking? If he mourned the loss of his home, did that mean he actually mourned the loss of the family he hoped to build? Was James a family man?

“Who betrayed you, Ellie?” She looked up, surprised by his question and found his eyes trained on her face. She didn’t talk about the betrayal. Ever. She didn’t want to give it power over her, by acknowledging the pain. Hadn’t even told Tessa. This pain was hers and she controlled it by locking it away and keeping it hidden deep inside her.

But James needed her to tell him. She could see it in his eyes. And if her honesty could help him, even a little, then maybe it’d be worth it to open this particular door she had locked up in her heart.

“My mom.” The words were raw and scraped their way out of a black pit in her belly. “My dad died when I was six. An accident at work. My mom loved him with her entire soul.” Ellie watched her fingers twine together as if they were someone else’s. “She combusted. Disappeared. I spent three days alone because I didn’t know what else to do. I just kept waiting for her to come home. The woman who finally did come home wasn’t my mom. She was hard and cruel.”

Ellie’s mouth clamped down on the rest of the story. The abuse that followed. The day her mom gave up for real and dropped her off at the foster center and disappeared. The years of foster homes with a whole rainbow of fruit flavors for parents. Even saying as much as she already had made her feel twitchy and open, empty and cold. Like she was that little girl all over again.

James sat up and pulled her into his arms. Kissed the top of her head, her forehead, each of her eyes and then swiped away the tears that were the first indication to her that she had started to cry.