CAPTOR (The Alpha Brotherhood) (Standalone Dark Billionaire New Adult Romance) (25 page)

Well, that was cryptic and intriguing. She’s one intense woman though, and I’m not looking forward to a long ride in the car with her. Thankfully, she hands me a scrap of paper before pulling her hood over her head and slipping into the crowded lobby. There must me some kind of event going on in the hotel that occupies the bottom floors of this building.

For a moment, I wonder if I should just stay in the elevator and go back up. I still love Shane. He’s a twisted fuck and honestly, it isn’t that surprising that he’d do something like this. It explains the sense of déjà vu that I get sometimes when I look into his pale blue eyes. It explains why he wanted to help me to begin with. But it’s the not the reason that he loves me, and I know that he does.

Yet I can’t bring myself to go back up there. If I let him get away with this, he’ll always have the upper hand. I need an explanation. No, a fucking apology. I need to know what this means for our future and most importantly, why he kept it from me. I’ll ask, he’ll shut down and get defensive, or worse. He might do something I can’t forgive him for, and then it will all be over. So with a deep breath, I step into the crowd myself and make my way to the door.

Shane will be home soon. He’ll get upstairs, look for me, call out my name. And then he’ll find that folder of all the lies he’s told by omission. Once he realizes why I’m gone, he’ll watch the footage of me winding my way through this crowd. I turn my head until I find the security camera and then I glare directly into it for a few seconds before stepping out the door.

Zoey

The frigid air shocks my lungs as I walk down the street. It’s only three city blocks until I get to a train station, but I need to find an ATM before I can actually go anywhere. I withdraw the max amount of cash. Knowing that well connected control freak Shane, he’ll somehow manage to put a freeze on my account to push me back to him.

“Doors closing.”

I hate riding the train at night. It’s only ten o’clock, but it’s still depressing. Lots of homeless people, I always feel so bad for them in the winter. A rowdy group of guys at the other end of the car are having a loud conversation about hopping over to another bar where their chances of getting laid might be better. There’s a few exhausted working people in nurses’ scrubs or the classic retail uniform of khaki pants and white polo shirts.

I don’t look like them anymore. In fact, I look like the perfect person to rob. Broken arm, with a nice haircut in my expensive Armani coat and Prada boots. A rich tourist no less, carrying a Louis Vuitton travel bag. I may as well have a target painted on my back. Wonderful.

It’s a short ride to the address Kat gave me, and I’m shocked at how nice the building is. This is going to be so awkward. I take the stairs up to the fourth floor because I’m pretty much done with the confining feeling of elevators at this point in my life.

I’m hesitating just down the hall from apartment number 417, wondering what to say after I knock. But the door just opens and Cassie’s bleached blonde head sticks out, looking both ways.

“Zoey?” she says.

“Hi, Cassie.”

“Oh my God! I was so worried about you after… What happened to your arm?”

“I broke it.”

“That’s awful. But how did you even know I was staying here?”

“A friend told me,” I fib. Close enough.

“Well, shit. I hope I was at least a little hard to find. I’m so paranoid after all that craziness with Marlowe going down.”

“The girl that told me was just as freaked out. She wouldn’t have said it to anyone but me.”

“Who was it?”

Shit. I fake a laugh. “Actually, I couldn’t remember her name and was too embarrassed to ask. She recognized me from the club that night. Blonde hair, brown eyes, big boobs.”

Cassie looks down at herself, shaking her head. “That sure narrows it down,” she laughs. “Get in here. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Thanks,” I murmur.

“Daniela,” Cassie says excitedly. “You are never gonna believe who the cat dragged in.”

“It better be that guy we’re waiting for,” she calls back from another room. “Because if I don’t get some—” Daniela stops in her tracks, her hand flying over her mouth when she sees me. “Zoey.”

“Hi Daniela. How’ve you been?” My tone is icy even though my insides are boiling hot.

“Um…” she hesitates, her eyes falling to the floor. “Alright, I guess.”

“Oh shit,” Cassie says, her eyes widening. “I forgot.”

“It’s not a big deal. You always said I had to lose it anyway, right Dani? And thanks to Cassie, I don’t remember a damn thing.”

“Zoey, I…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” This is just going to get more uncomfortable if I call her out on totally fucking me over and I don’t have anywhere else to go. “This place is really nice, Cassie,” I say, turning away from the shittiest roommate ever. “How’d you end up here?”

“I’ve moved up in the world since Marlowe went down,” she explains. “Cuz my pimp went with him and now I’m a free agent. Well, more like a contractor, I guess. A friend of a friend got me hooked up with a high class escort service. Now I only see a limited number of clients and boy, are they a lot nicer to deal with. Some of them even want to take me out to dinner first. The guy that owns this place is a realtor and takes his wife to see her family down in Australia every winter. And now I’m getting paid to discreetly watch his secret apartment in the city. How sweet is that?”

“Nice,” I reply, feigning enthusiasm. “Look, um… I’m kind of in a tight spot right now. Think I could crash with you for a few days?”

“That’s what Daniela said three weeks ago and I haven’t kicked her out yet,” Cassie laughs. “There’s a couch in the master bedroom, you’re welcome to it. Just don’t break anything.”

The doorbell rings a few minutes later. Daniela and Cassie enthusiastically greet the guy, but I know the type and the visit will be brief. Dani flirts with him as Cassie searches through her purse for a wad of cash. Then two little bags magically appear, one with pills, one with powder.

This scene sucks a lot more when you don’t have your own room to lock yourself in. Cassie pulls a small mirror out from under the coffee table and gets a grocery store discount card from her wallet. I sit down across from them as they kneel around the table like an altar. Cassie does the first line, and then hands the cut off little straw to Daniela. I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer.

“How can you do that?” I blurt out.

“Like this,” Dani retorts, holding her hair back as she snorts the line.

“You’re fucking pregnant.”

“Yeah right,” she laughs. “No, I’m not.”

“You’re… So, what, did you have an abortion?”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Cherry Pop? Oh wait, that’s right. I guess you finally ditched that nickname.”

I exhale in an outraged gasp. What a bitch. “I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom garbage before you left.”

“No, you didn’t. I got lucky, that shit was negative.”

“I saw it, Dani.”

Cassie coughs, cringing as she interrupts us. “Those actually turn positive after a while. Scared the crap out of me a few times.”

“Are you serious?” Dani replies, her mouth gaping open. “Holy shit, good to know.”

“So wait a second,” I say, my pulse pounding in my skull. “You mean, you didn’t even think you were knocked up when you threw me under the bus? When you stole from Ricky’s crew and skipped town?”

“Look, I feel bad about it. But… there was this guy, he was really cute and nice at first. I thought he was different, real romantic, he wanted to run away together and shit. But then I get to El Paso and wake up alone and broke. I’m sorry, I know it was a shitty thing to do, but I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Do you have any idea what they did to me?” I croak. “Did Cassie tell you?”

“Yeah, and I feel horrible about it. But now it’s over and like you said… You had to lose it eventually. It would have been a lot worse if you weren’t a virgin.”

“Oh, my God,” I breathe, my eyes watering. “I have done so much for you.”

Her nose wrinkles up and I can tell I’m about to hear that snotty voice of hers. “Don’t act like you never got anything out of it.”

“Jesus, Daniela,” Cassie chides her. “You could at least act apologetic.”

“Look, I’m not gonna stay here all night and dwell on this depressing shit. Are we going out to meet up with those guys or not?”

“Yeah, we’re already late. Wanna come, Zoey?”

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere. You almost got me fucking raped and murdered.”

“So he didn’t fuck you? What the hell are you so angry about then?” Dani says.

“He didn’t?” Cassie says cheerfully. “I was hoping the knight in shining armor thing wasn’t an act. That guy was cute. And rich.”

“Is he the one that bought you those nice clothes? And changed the locks on your apartment?” Dani asks. I nod my head yes. “Well, shit. I did you a fucking favor then.”

“I cannot believe this.”

“Oh, Zoey,” Cassie says in a soothing voice. “It’s okay. Did he break up with you?”

“No, he didn’t break up with me. He’s been holding me fucking captive this entire time and I just escaped.”

“Shit,” Dani replies, wincing. “Okay, sorry then. So… are you still a virgin?”

“No, I’m not. Let’s just say it was really fucking complicated.”

“Complicated can be hot sometimes.”

“Daniela, I am going to—”

“Okay let’s cool off,” Cassie interjects, grabbing her coat and tossing Dani a pair of high heels. “We’re going to a club, we’ll be out late.”

“If we come home at all,” Dani laughs.

“You’ll have this whole place to yourself to think things over. Maybe give him a call, if you want. Just don’t make a scene around the neighbors, okay? You can even have the bed, I’ll take the couch tonight. Here’s a key.”

Cassie sits it on the table instead of handing it to me, staring at my one good hand clenched into a fist as they back out the door. I’ve never actually had the urge to beat someone to death. The silence in the apartment is deafening as I stroll over to the window and pull up the shades. I can see the skyscraper Shane lives in from here. I wonder if he’s home yet.

Taking a shower with this cast is so annoying. At least it’s distracting enough to keep my thoughts from wandering. Once I’m out, I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s a world class jackass, but I thought he was my jackass, and a sympathetic one at that. He lost his shit when I went home once and I supposedly had his permission then. Who knows what he’s going to do now. And he will find me eventually. Not to mention I have like six thousand questions to ask him.

There’s no way I’ll be able to fall asleep, it’s only 11:00. Most of the trains don’t stop running until 1:00 or 1:30, leaving me just enough time to take a ride up to a different neighborhood, call him from a payphone, and get back here. 

The screech of the train rails isn’t comforting anymore, I don’t get lost in it. I have nowhere to go, no one to ask for help. And I’m wrestling with this irrational impulse to run back into the lying arms of the only person I’ve ever been foolish enough to trust.

It’s hard to find payphones now, especially in a neighborhood where you aren’t likely to wind up in the papers as an unfortunate innocent bystander. They used to be more common when I was younger. I left my cell at Shane’s, I knew he’d track it somehow. Now I need to stop in this shady convenience store and buy a candy bar so I can get some change. Why didn’t I just wait until he got home and talk to him about this?

Oh, that’s right. Dude has a literal torture chamber in his basement. Err, bottom level of his opulent penthouse. Same difference.

I peek down the adjacent alley before dialing his number to make sure no one is there ready to jump me. A gust of wind gets trapped in the tunnel, blasting against my skin and freezing the hairs in my nose. I press my back against the brick wall next to the phone and hold my breath.

“Zoey?” He picks up on the first ring. I can’t think of a single thing to say to him, drawing in a short breaths of frigid air as I try to hold back my tears.

Zoey

“Z, it’s you, right?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Thank God,” Shane sighs in relief. “Where are you?”

“Payphone. You’re resourceful, I’m sure you’ll figure out which one. But I’ll be gone by then.”

“Z, I… I don’t know what to say.”

“It was all true, right? What I saw?”

“Who came into our home and gave you that file?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it fucking does.” He is really pissed and I don’t give a shit at this moment.

“Was it fabricated or not, Shane?” I demand. He starts to say something and then hesitates. “She didn’t have a reason to lie and it makes sense.”

“She?”

“Answer my goddamn question or I’m hanging up the phone.”

“Yes,” he replies immediately. “Yes, it’s true.”

“Those pictures…”

“I drew them. I stopped talking for a month after they took you away. My caseworker ordered a psych evaluation.”

A searing hot tear rolls down my ice cold cheek. “How long did we live together?”

“Can we talk about this in person? Where are you?”

“No. I’m not getting tied up and gagged until you think I’ve calmed down.”

“Zoey… I would never—”

“Are you listening to yourself?” I snap at him.

“Never under these circumstances, Z.”

“Z,” I repeat with a bitter laugh. “I remember flashes from our first limo ride together, Shane. I remember our first kiss. And now I remember you saying my name ‘didn’t work for you.’ So you call me Z. Like Lizzie, right? Or because you can’t stand to hear something that sounds like Chloe?”

“Both,” he says softly after a few moments. “I love you, Zoey.”

“So did you have a crush on my mother or something? Is that what this is all about?”

“No,” he replies. There’s a touch of disgust and surprise in his tone. “But she stayed with us a long time after you left. Well, it felt like a long time because I was eight.”

“But she’s the one you recognized when you saw me on the street that day, isn’t she?”

“I recognized you immediately. I’d been searching for you. For years.”

“So you knew I’d be walking down that street,” I scoff.

“No. I’d all but given up. The home we were in wasn’t in Pilsen. I had nothing to go on.”

“Nothing but my dead mother’s eyes, right?”

He lets out an aggravated breath. “Yeah, it was your eyes. I knew right away. But you had those back then, too.”

“They’re not the only thing I had back then, are they? Bet you knew for sure when you saw me naked up on that stage, didn’t you?”

“Z… Zoey, I—”

“Fuck you, Shane. I never want to see you again.”

“You can’t mean that,” he replies, his voice shaking.

“It was all a lie!” I yell, drawing the attention of a thuggish looking guy walking down the street. “Or some fucked up quest you started on when you were a fucked up little kid. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How could I?” he shoots back. “Why the hell would I want you to know that horrible story when I could carry it for both of us?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Shane. Maybe because I deserve to know?” The phone beeps, alerting me that I’ll be disconnected. “You know how I got my scars, don’t you?”

“Z, I… You’ve never asked about looking into your past once. Not once, and you knew I had the means to—”

“I’m asking now. Clock’s ticking.”

“Put another quarter in the fucking phone.”

“I don’t have one,” I say.

“Where are you?”

“Wandering around the city. In the dark. In the cold. So you can’t find me.”

“Zoey, please,” he chokes. “I’m sor—”

The line goes dead and I can’t help but laugh. Shane can’t even apologize when he tries. And if he loves me so much, he can agonize over where I am for a night or two. I roll the extra quarters I convinced the clerk to give me in my fingertips, hesitating. But I can’t make myself pick up the phone and call him back, so I turn and start making my way toward the train.

“Doors closing.”

The train car is empty except for one unconscious drunk guy at the other end. I manage to keep it together for one whole stop before I break down sobbing. I’m not much of a crier, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that up until a few months ago I was basically incapable of getting emotionally attached to anything. The idea of being romantically involved with an actual person was unfathomable, and I figured I was just too shut down and broken inside to ever truly fall in love.

Wouldn’t that have been convenient? I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s like there’s a wild animal inside my chest, eating chunks of my flesh and shredding everything that’s left over. I don’t think it’s going to stop until it breaks through my skin and leaves a bleeding shell behind.

But it does. My shrieking heart goes quiet inside me. I think it just broke.

My face isn’t cold because of the weather when I get off the train and start walking to Cassie’s client’s apartment. I don’t know where I’ll be going after that, but it’s probably just better to focus on the next 24 hours so I don’t end up a drooling ward of the state, chained to a bed. I guess that last part might be inevitable. Shane is going to find me. And maybe there’s a little piece of who I used to be left curled up in a ball that wants him to.

It’s dark when I get up to the apartment and there isn’t a light switch next to the door like there should be. This better not be one of those houses that you have to fucking talk to. I eventually find it and turn on every light to check for intruders. Who knows how many keys are floating around? It’s a nice place, but no so nice to indicate the man is very wealthy. If he was, he could probably afford classier hookers than Cassie. What was this guy thinking? He had to realize that a bunch of promiscuous drug addicts would be crashing here.

The couch in the master bedroom is comfortable and I drop like a stone as soon as my head hits the borrowed pillow. I wake up a little bit later and for a beautiful moment I forget that my world collapsed a few hours ago because it feels like Shane is behind me. I reach for his arm and find a leather surface instead. The disappointment soon turns into agony as I curl my knees up to my chest.

That’s when I hear a giggle. I’m not alone in the room. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I look over at the bed. Cassie’s platinum hair flips around as she pulls her tiny red dress over her head. My pulse spikes when I see the guy she’s disrobing for. I hope they don’t turn the lights on.

Despite my curiosity and the many opportunities I’ve had living with Daniela, I’ve never actually watched anyone have sex before. I suppose I technically could close my eyes at this point, but I can’t stand the vulnerability of blindness right now.

Cassie makes these dramatic moans as the obviously intoxicated guy on top of her grunts. It takes him like 30 seconds until he starts to cum and then she starts screaming like a porn star. I guess that’s what faking an orgasm sounds like. How the hell are guys so stupid? And why go through all that bullshit picking up women at a bar for something that lasts less than a minute and could give you HIV?

I can’t stop wondering if that’s what normal bar hookup sex is always like. Shane devours every inch of my body when he fucks me and worships the damage after he’s done. This asshole just rolls off her, tosses a nasty condom on the floor, and starts snoring. Cassie waits a few minutes and gets out of bed to pee, then goes through his wallet. She is a prostitute, after all. At least she got something out of it.

There’s no way I’ll be able to fall sleep with this guy in the room. I wait motionless for almost a half an hour as Cassie tosses and turns until I’m pretty sure she’s asleep. Even if she isn’t, it’s not like I really have to explain myself. I stoop down to my knees at the end of the couch, feeling around on the floor for my bag in the dark. Crap. It’s not here.

Immediately, I know that Daniela got a hold of it. That’s how everything I’ve lost in the last year disappeared. Only now I actually own things worth stealing. It was one of my first thoughts when I saw her, and I felt guilty even though she is clearly proven herself to be a thief. What the hell is my problem?

As quietly as I can, I open Cassie’s bedroom door and creep down the hallway toward the fully lit up living room. Sure enough, the roommate from hell is bent forward on the couch with my bag between her feet.

“What the hell are you doing?” I snap. I startle her and she sits up straight. “Why am I even asking that question? It’s pretty fucking obvious.”

Daniela just sighs and shrugs at me. “It’s not like you bought any of it.”

“Dani… How did it get like this between us?” I ask, sitting next to her.

She lets out a dismissive laugh. “That’s the problem with you, Cherry. There is no ‘between us.’ There never has been.”

“We were close.”

“Yeah, when we were like ten years old. You just hold on to that shit cuz you don’t have a family. I do. Sisters. Brothers. Aunts and uncles. Even my bitch mom. I got taken away from people and I went back to them when I finally got out.”

“But you live with me. And you just fuck me over again and again.”

“I don’t…” Her expression changes, some of that defensiveness falling away, replaced with guilt. “I like you. Hell, I fucking love you, Zoey, I do,” she says, her eyes watering. “I just don’t think ahead like you do. And you just… never really call me out on it, I guess.”

“Because I feel bad for you.”

“Look what that got you,” she scoffs. “And stop kidding yourself. You kept me around cuz you’re fucking lonely. I’m the one that feels bad for you.” She kicks my bag across the floor to my feet. “You should just go. Go back to that guy, whatever he did to you… if he’s buying you all that stuff he can’t be that bad.”

“I can’t.”

“Ricky and Marlowe are gone. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“You don’t understand. He…”

“How long you think you’re gonna last around us, Cherry? Don’t you fucking get it? You aren’t like us. We were all flirting with boys and giving out free handjobs while you had your face in a book or your hands in some clay. I’m gonna start working with Cassie, maybe, once she can teach me how to keep my temper under control. There’ll be guys coming in and out of this place all winter long. You’re bad for business and… we’re bad for you.”

My jaw trembles, a teardrop rolling down my cheek. “I know.”

Daniela pulls her legs up on the couch and rests her head on my shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll really miss you,” she says.

“Yeah, because you won’t have anybody to steal from,” I laugh, wiping my face.

“No,” she replies quietly, wrapping her arm around my waist and squeezing. We used to do this when we were kids in front of the TV. “You make it seem like something better is possible. Even for girls like us.”

“It is, Dani. You don’t have to prostitute yourself if you don’t want to.”

“That’s the thing. It doesn’t even bother me that much. And I’m not like you, there’s nothing special about me.”

“Sure there is, you…” Dammit, I should have thought about something to say before I opened my big mouth. “You’re nineteen, Daniela. How can you just give up before you even try something? Make some better life decisions. You’re one hell of a cook.”

She exhales in a laugh, sitting up straight. “Thanks for trying. But Cassie is making a whole lot more money than I ever will sweating my ass off in some restaurant kitchen. May as well bring in the cash while I’m still hot.”

“Dani…”

“Just go. Do yourself a fucking favor and leave already. Before I fuck you over again even though Cassie would kick my ass. Before some guy we bring home thinks you’re part of the deal and puts his hands on you.” She can’t look me in eyes, running her hand through her hair as her face hardens. “Just. Go.”

I think that’s as close to compassion as I’m ever going to get from her. And it’s not like she doesn’t have a point. It’s easier said than done though, because there’s nowhere to go. Still, I pull my boots on and grab my bag.

It’s oddly still when I walk outside. No trains, no cars, no working people juggling a cup of coffee while they stare at their phones and try not to bump into each other. The city won’t start to wake up for another hour or so. I make my way over to a bench near the river and watch the reflection of the orange lights flicker on the waves.

I can’t go home. I can’t go back to Shane. I don’t belong anywhere.