Read Can't Let Go Online

Authors: A. P. Jensen

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary

Can't Let Go (11 page)

“Mitchell,” she whispered.

He pulled back and kissed her again. The kiss was consuming, determined and possessive. When he drew away his eyes were hot with desire. “I don’t like seeing you with him.”

“We’re friends,” she murmured, wondering if that’s what prompted him to take a leaf out of Tarzan’s book.

His hand rubbed over her cheek. “You don’t need him. You need me.”

Her mouth formed a thin line. “Actually, I don’t. I can handle
everything myself.”

Someone coughed loudly and Mitchell shot someone a chilling glance over her head and then jerked his head, dismissing them. Mitchell pulled Grace into a library and closed the door behind them. Grace stared as he locked the door and came towards her. He was in a strange mood she couldn’t define.

“What are you doing?” she demanded. “You’re putting on this show for everyone to make them think we’re together but why?”

“I’m tired of waiting for you to forgive me,” he stated.

She almost dropped her glass of wine. “Excuse me?”

He came to stand directly before her. “I screwed up and I don’t know what I have to do to get you back. I can’t keep my distance and I don’t want to. I want you back. I want
Evie too.”

She was speechless for a full minute. Her mind was whirling. She saw the frustration in his eyes and his body was tight with tension. Where was all of this coming from?

“Mitchell,” she said, talking slowly as she would to a crazy man.

“I know what I want.”

She set her wine glass down very carefully. “And what exactly do you want?”

“I want you… and
Evie.”

She threw her hands up. “What you’re saying you want, you crucified me for a year ago! You don’t know what you want. You think I would go back to you just because we slept together again?”

“Being with you in Texas made me realize how much I miss you and Evie made us a family. People thought she was mine. She likes me,” he said defensively.

“You want a family?” she choked.

Panic crawled over her body like spiders. She was starting to feel claustrophobic. He wanted her now because he was ready to settle down and she already came with a baby?

He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m messing this up. I want you and you have
Evie so I’ll take both of you. I like Evie, she likes me so…”

He was saying this all in a reasonable tone as if it made sense but she couldn’t see the logic. Mitchell was one of the most ambitious, restless people she knew. He wasn’t satisfied with anything but the best and she knew what it felt like for hi
m to see you as a last resort. He never dated women with children. He wanted his kids to be his- with no doubts. He wasn’t the type of guy to embrace someone else’s children. What if he decided one day that he wanted his own? She already knew he wouldn’t want them from her.

“Maybe you are ready to settle down.”

He nodded and took her cold hands. “I am.”

“Maybe you liked the idea of being a father since you’ve had time to think about it,” she paused and ignored the ache in the pit of her stomach. “But I don’t think that has anything to do with
Evie or me. Maybe you should start looking for a wife and then-”

He
let out a strangled growl. “You’re the one I want.”

“No. I’m not. My mom is still a blackmailing
alcoholic and I’m still the girl from the other side of the tracks. I told you, we’re over.”

“God, why can’t you be like your name? You can’t give me grace? You won’t let me in one tiny inch-”

“Because I don’t have anything left!” she shouted and the tears she’d been holding back filled her eyes. “Damn, I loved you with everything I had and when you accused me of trying to trick you I couldn’t believe you thought so little of me. Why would I do that to a man when it turned my mom into what she is today? I, better than anyone else knows what that feels like.”

“And you never shared any of it with me!” he shouted back. “You may have loved me, you slept with me, did business with me but never once did you tell me about your background. What was I
supposed to think?”

Her head was pounding.
“I didn’t come here for this.”

“Even if I make you a promise you won’t believe me, will you?”
he hissed.

She shook her head and grabbed a Kleenex and dabbed at her eyes so her makeup wouldn’t be destroyed. She grabbed the tatters of her composure and drained her wine glass and started for the door.

“You can’t ignore me forever,” Mitchell said from behind her.

“I have business to see to,” she said and unlocked the door and stepped out.

Her hands shook but she schooled her expression into a reassuring smile as she walked towards a circle of people. They made room for her and looked over her shoulder at the library door which remained closed. Ricky hooked his arm through hers supportively.

She wasn’t sure how she got through the night but she did. Mitchell never reappeared. When she got back to her condo she was glad Maggie
didn’t wait up. Grace walked into her room, let her dress fall to the bathroom floor and got into the shower where sobbed her heart out for what she couldn’t have because she didn’t have the courage to take a chance on him again.

Chapter
Ten

 

Grace walked into the condo and was greeted by Maggie who had her hands on hips.

“She screamed all day,” Maggie informed her crossly.

Grace dropped her briefcase and rushed to the nursery.


Why did she cry? Is there something wrong?” Grace demanded

She
leaned over the crib to brush Evie’s sweaty hair back from her face. “Did I forget to buy her something she needs? Is she not eating right?”

“No. She needs you
.”

Grace stiffened
and turned to her. “I can’t right now. I’m trying to keep the boutique on track.”

She walked out of the nursery with Maggie hot on her heels. It had been two weeks since the party and she’d thrown herself into work. She was back to fifty hours a week and she was rarely home. She felt as if she
were on the verge of breaking and she knew she needed to slow down but she didn’t know how. The only way she knew to rid herself of heartache was to work herself to sleep.

“Your boutique?
What about this baby? You’re gone from six in the morning till six in the evening or later. The first week I was with you, you came out every couple of hours to check on her and now I can’t even reach you by phone. What the hell happened at that party?”

Grace went to the kitchen and made a cup of tea with shaking hands.
“I’m doing what’s best for her future.”


How is this best for her?” Maggie challenged. “She needs
you
!”

Grace
whirled to face Maggie. She was tired, stressed and in constant pain. “I’ve worked my ass off to be where I am today and if you don’t like the way things are, you can walk out that door and I’ll find someone else.”

Maggie
was unimpressed by the flash of temper. Honestly, she was delighted to see it. Ever since the party Grace turned into a quiet, professional stranger who held Evie at an emotional distance. She’d lost weight and her eyes were hard and stony.

“In my day, women were housewives.”

“In this day, I have no choice,” Grace informed her coldly.

Grace thought of the way she had to push beyond that stigma about female business owners, how she fought daily to stay on top. She couldn’t imagine a life without
the struggle. Could she have lived in the day Maggie’s time where she stayed home, raised kids and cleaned the house?

“You’re working yourself into an early grave. I hope there’s someone else to watch after
Evie if you die too,” Maggie said flatly.

Grace froze. “No. There’s no one.”

It circled her thoughts back to Vicky who hadn’t returned her call. How many times had she called, certain she must have the wrong number or that her mom hadn’t gotten the voicemail because what person would ignore that their child had passed? It was another layer of anger she was carrying and couldn’t shake off.

“If you keep up what you’re doing
Evie’s going to grow up without even seeing you. Pouring all of your time into work isn’t living, honey. Can’t you see that?” Maggie gentled her tone.

“Don’t judge me, Maggie. You have no idea what I’ve been through. I work so I can give
Evie what I didn’t have- stability, an inheritance, money for college. I don’t want her to grow up being afraid of the world. I want her to walk with her head high, knowing exactly who she is, what she wants. I didn’t have that. I had to figure it out for myself.”

“And you turn
ed out fine, didn’t you?” Maggie countered.

“I sweated blood and tears to be where I am today,” Grace said through gritted teeth.

Maggie nodded. “I know. I gave in and googled you today.”

Grace stared at her blankly.

“That man you left must have done a number on you. He’s gorgeous.” When Grace just gave her a level glare she added, “I know you’ve clawed your way to where you are today but Evie needs you. How much money do you really need? All Evie wants is you. She lost her mom and no matter how old she is, she can feel it. You can’t hold yourself back from her.”

Maggie’s
words struck her core. She remembered yelling at Mitchell in Texas, telling him that children cared more about empty water bottles than the most expensive toys. She opened her mouth and frowned when the doorbell rang. She glanced at her watch. It was almost nine.

She walked to the door and
froze. “Mom?”

Vicky was a model once upon a time but a broken heart and a bitter outlook on life carved lines in her
face. Her still red hair wasn’t brushed and there were stains on clothes that were two sizes too large for her. Her faded jade eyes were wild with panic and anger. She pushed past Grace and paced the living room, muttering to herself. Grace was dimly aware of Maggie standing in the kitchen doorway but she didn’t care. She was angry and wary that Vicky was here.

“Mom
?” Grace said carefully. Had she just received her voicemails about Casey’s death?

Vicky looked up and
finally focused on Grace. “Where is she?”

“Where’s
who? Are you looking for Casey?”

Vicky waved a hand that dismissed Casey as if she was nothing.
Any sympathy she may have felt for her mother vanished instantly. Vicky hadn’t changed and she could care less that her daughter was gone from this world.


Where’s Casey’s daughter?” Vicky’s voice was raspy from smoking.

Grace
folded her arms across her chest and blocked the hallway. She wouldn’t let Vicky near Evie, she vowed. Even as Vicky read the resolve on Grace’s face, desperation and a healthy dose of rage flashed over Vicky’s face and it was directed at her.

“You!”
Vicky said wrathfully. “Ever since I got pregnant you’ve been the bane of my existence. If you’d been a boy, he would have left her but you had to be a girl.”

Grace wasn’t impressed
by her mother’s tirade. She had the blame heaped on her head her whole life. She wasn’t going to waste her time listening to a woman who cared for no one but herself, even if it was her own mother.

“You know about Casey,” Grace said, trying to keep her voice even.

Vicky waved an impatient hand. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

“She was your daughter!” Grace felt her anger rising
dangerously fast. “Don’t you give a damn about anyone but yourself?”

Vicky considered for a moment. “No. That’s not why I’m here. Ray cut me off.”

At that moment, Grace made a vow to herself. She would never allow herself to be as callous as her mother, even if it meant opening herself up to more pain. She would never dismiss Evie’s needs no matter the cost to herself.

“That’s why you’re here?
Money?”

“Of course.
Why else would I be here?” Vicky sneered.

“You won’t get a dime from me.”

“Ungrateful bitch! I could have aborted you but I kept you, didn’t I?”

“To blackmail him.
You kept me to punish him.”

Vicky moved in agitated circles. “He says he won’t pay me until you stop seeing
Mitchell Price.”

“I’m not seeing him,” Grace said numbly.

Vicky whirled so quickly, Grace didn’t move away in time. Vicky’s fist caught Grace on the cheek and she staggered backwards. Maggie gasped and raced out of the kitchen as Grace quickly steadied herself and faced her mother. Years of abuse and anger rose up in her. She wouldn’t take anymore.

“I’ll call the cops if you don’t get out of here,” Maggie snapped.

Vicky smiled at her so innocently Maggie was stunned speechless. Vicky wasn’t at all fazed by the scene. She had an objective and until she accomplished it, she wouldn’t be satisfied.

“Don’t get between me and my daughter. You have no idea what’s going on here.” She switched her gaze to Grace. “
Hiring help? My, you really think a lot of yourself.”

Grace ignored her throbbing cheek and faced the woman
who was now a stranger to her. She saw the reckless edge in her mom and moved in front of Maggie. Her mom was unstable, always had been. She was capable of anything.

“Get out of my house,” Grace said.

“I need money,” Vicky complained.

“Then maybe you ne
ed to start looking for a job.”

Vicky came
at her, hand raised to strike again and this time Grace rushed forward until she was nose to nose with Vicky.

“You strike me again a
nd I will hit you back,” Grace said in such a lethal voice that Vicky hesitated. “I dare you.”

Vicky glanced down the hallway
as Evie let out a cry. Her eyes were calculating and cruel.


You’re not going to share your money with your own mother?”

“No.”

“Then I guess I have to take the kid.”

Grace’s blood ran cold. “You’re not taking
Evie.”

A crafty gleam appeared in Vicky’s eyes. “I need money and since Ray won’t give me wh
at I need, I’ll have to take my granddaughter. Don’t you think the judge will choose me over you? After all, you’re the one in and out of relationships lately. It’s all over the papers. The judge will see you as unstable and I’ll be granted custody.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Grace breathed. “There’s no way you can take
Evie from me.”

“You work over fifty hours a week. You’ve never had children of your own. The judge will rule in my favor,” Vicky said confidently.

“Not when I tell him you’re a drunk.”

Vicky shrugged. “You can’t prove that. It’ll be my word against yours.
I’ll be seeing you, kiddo.”

Vicky walked out of the condo as quickly as she’d come. Grace watched the front door close behind her and felt sick to her stomach.
Vicky couldn’t take Evie from her… could she? She couldn’t breathe. She leaned over to take several deep breaths as panic filled her.

A hand rubbed her back. “Grace?”

She brushed away Maggie’s hand. She didn’t want to be touched right now. Just that short amount of time with Vicky left her feeling dirty and miserable. She walked into the nursery and watched Evie for several minutes but fear had her by the throat and she needed to hear that there wasn’t even the smallest possibility that Vicky could get her hands on another innocent child. She was so frightened she didn’t know what to do. She was frozen with indecision. Could Vicky convince the court she was sane? Yes. Vicky was a master at manipulating people. It was how she trapped Ray. Could Vicky convince Ray to help her with this plan just to spite her? He might… If they teamed up against her could they reveal that they were her parents and tell the judge that as her concerned parents, they didn’t want their grandchild to be raised by Grace? Was she overreacting? She needed someone strong enough to go against her parents, that would help her fight for custody. She straightened abruptly.

“I need to go out,” Grace said and walked past Maggie who rushed after her.

“Where are you going? Are you okay?” Maggie said as Grace opened the front door.

“If she comes back, call the cops. Don’t open the door for anyone. I have my key,” Grace said and closed the door behind her.

She rushed to the elevator. There was no one around at this time of night and she waved away the doorman who insisted on calling her a cab. She needed to walk, needed to get her thoughts in order. She stopped in front of an impressive building in the heart of New York and looked at the bellman who nodded to her and let her in. She rode the elevator up to the highest floor and put in the code Mitchell hadn’t changed since she left. When the elevator doors opened she saw Max standing in front of the door to the penthouse. When she stepped out he rushed forward and grabbed her face.

“What the hell happened to you? Were you attacked?” Max demanded.

She forgot about her face. Her face was swollen and would probably bruise. She took a step back to the elevator. She didn’t want Mitchell to see her this way. Before she could press the button for the elevator again, the front door of the penthouse opened. Mitchell stood in the doorway in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else.

“Grace?”
he said in a nonplussed tone and then his eyes narrowed. He rushed forward. “What the hell happened? Max, call the police.”

“No,” Grace said,
lurching forward to grasp his arm. “Don’t. It was nothing.”

Mitchell gently turned her face up to the light and cursed.
“Somebody hit you and you think that’s nothing?”

His
voice was thick with disbelief. Grace pulled away from his hold.


That doesn’t matter right now. I need to talk to you,” she said urgently.

Mitchell
nodded brusquely and put an arm around her and led her into the penthouse. Only when she was brought up against his body did she realize she was trembling from head to foot. Her hands were clammy with shock and the heat Mitchell projected felt comforting and heavenly. She didn’t protest when Mitchell boosted her onto the counter in the kitchen and pulled out a frozen bag of peas and wrapped it in a dishtowel before placing it against her cheek. She was too deep in thought to notice.

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