Can't Let Go - A Contemporary BWWM Romance (6 page)

“All
right, all right,” I said. “Enough. I get your point. And my answer is I don’t know,
but I’m certainly trying to be. Kevin is a good distraction for me right now.”

“That’s
good,” LaLa said. “Because you know Antoine’s going to marry Ayla and there’s
not a damn thing you can do about it.”

I
knew LaLa was right, but her words still stung. As excited as I was about the
prospect of dating Kevin, deep down it didn’t fully change the way I felt about
Antoine. On the inside, I was a complex, emotional, hot mess of a woman.

“Your
phone just went off,” LaLa said as she pointed to my purse on the ledge by the
door.

My
big leather purse was so thick I could hardly hear my phone when it was in
there, but LaLa had impeccable hearing. I usually just relied on her to let me
know when it was going off.

“Text
or call?” I sprung up and ran to grab it.

“Text,
I think,” she replied. Her eyes glazed over and fixated on the T.V. screen.

I
couldn’t whip my phone out fast enough, and the moment I saw who the message
was from, my heart skipped a beat or two.

“It’s
from Kevin,” I said in a
sing-song
voice. I could feel
my grin growing wider by the millisecond.

“And?”

“He
said sorry about last night. Sorry about this morning. And can he take me on a
real date next Friday,” I said. I did a little happy dance and hoped to God
LaLa didn’t see me.

“You’re
such a dork,” she laughed. She totally saw me. “Don’t reply too soon. Make him
wait a little bit. You don’t want to seem desperate.”

I
could feel my palms sweat a little as I clutched my
phone,
my fingers aching to type back a message right away. But I had to listen to
LaLa. She was so much smarter than me when it came to dealing with people. I
was much more impulsive and naïve. I believed everyone and rarely tried to read
between the lines.

“Hey,
Demarius and I are going to grab dinner tonight,” LaLa said. “You want to join
us?”

“Oh,”
I said. “You’re going out with him again?”

“Yeah,”
she replied with a half-smile. “Is that okay with you?”

“Of
course,” I said. “Just surprised. It’s not like you. Usually you play coy for a
bit and make them chase after you.”

“He’s
different,” she said. “I don’t feel like he’s a game player, so I’m trying not
to be a one, either. You have to adapt, Liv. No two men are alike. You have to
realize that.”

“I
don’t want to be the third wheel,” I said. The idea of sitting at home, alone,
on a Saturday night with nothing but some wine and a head full of irrational
thoughts didn’t sound too appealing though. I could always call Amaya, but she
was usually DJing on Saturday nights at some local club or another.

“You
wouldn’t be the third wheel,” she insisted. “I want my best friend and the guy
I’m dating to know each other. And I want your opinion on him. He almost seems
too good to be true.”

“You
want
my
opinion?” I asked, raising an
eyebrow.

She
laughed. “Yes. I feel like my judgment is a little clouded right now because
I’m really starting to like him.”

“Who
are you, and what have you done with my LaLa?” I teased. “Fine, if you want me
to, I’ll go.
But only if you want.
And only if it’s
okay with him.”

“It’s
not his call,” she said. “He’ll have to deal with it. It’ll be a test to see
how he reacts.”

“Great,”
I said as I carried what was left of my lunch to the kitchen trash. “Just glad
I can be of service to you.”

“You’re
the best!” LaLa yelled out.

LaLa
and I got ready together again that night, and it felt good to have the
pressure off me for once. I didn’t feel the need to get dressed to the nines. I
had no one to impress.

I
did LaLa’s hair and makeup once again and helped her pick out the perfect date
night outfit.

“What’s
he going to say when he realizes that you don’t usually wear your hair and
makeup like this?” I asked as I dusted setting powder over her face.

“Oh,
he’s seen me in my natural form, don’t worry,” she said, shrugging one
shoulder. That seemed to be her attitude towards most guys. She had no qualms
about being single or tossing a guy to the side if he didn’t like something
about her that she had no intention of changing. I always admired that about
her. “He hasn’t run away screaming yet.”

She
checked out my work in the mirror and tossed her long, dark hair over her
shoulders.

“Can
I borrow your perfume?” she asked as she reached for it.

“Then
we’ll both smell the same tonight,” I said.

“And
your point?” She spritzed a few squirts onto her neck and wrists. “I need to
get me some of that.”

“Yeah,
you do. It’s like, one hundred and fifty dollars an ounce. You owe me five
dollars now,” I teased.

We
grabbed our things and locked up the apartment, heading out to a little sushi
place on the north side of town. It was close to the police station, and part
of me wondered if we might run into Kevin. I half hoped we wouldn’t. I didn’t
want him thinking I stalked him. I felt like I ran into him everywhere all the
time, almost too often for it to be a coincidence.

“There
he is,” LaLa said as she pointed to Demarius, who was sitting in a booth by
himself in the corner.

“I
like that he’s not glued to his phone,” I said. “Shows he’s not insecure and
not afraid to sit by himself and look like a loser.”

LaLa
nudged me and then grabbed my hand, leading me inside. I saw Demarius’s face
light up the moment he saw her, but it quickly changed to a perplexed look as
soon as he saw me.

“I
hope you don’t mind, I brought Liv tonight,” she said as she scooted into the
booth next to him. “She loves sushi.”

It
was a total lie, but now I was going to have to eat that raw fish like I meant
it. Gross.

I
flashed him an awkward smile, which he kindly returned, and slid into the booth
across from the two
love birds
.

The
server took our drink orders and I placed a request for some seaweed salad and
miso soup, two of the things I could usually tolerate at a Japanese restaurant.

“Aren’t
you going to have some sushi?” Demarius asked.

He
obviously wasn’t going to forget about LaLa’s little fib.

“We
ordered a big boat, so you can just share with us,” LaLa said, winking at me. I
shot her a glare as soon as Demarius looked away. Next time we cooked, I was
going to force her to eat a mushroom.
A whole one.
I
promised myself that.

The
boat soon arrived and I sat back as the two of them dug in and dished up their
plates of colorful little sushi bites. I had to admit I appreciated the
aesthetics of sushi, just not the slippery texture or the bland taste.

“Want
some?” Demarius said to me as he nodded towards the boat.

I
paused before looking at LaLa and trying my best to act excited.

“Sure,
thank you.” I reached out and took two pieces.

“Don’t
you want more?” LaLa asked as she stifled a laugh. She loved torturing me. That
bitch.

“I
think I filled up on too much soup and salad,” I said with a smile. “This will
be fine for now.”

I
placed a sushi roll on my chopsticks and stared at it before gathering enough
courage to shove it in my mouth. I washed it down as fast as I could with a few
gulps of my Asian pear mojito and all was well.

“Will
you two excuse me for a moment?” LaLa said as she slid out of the booth. “I’ll
be right back.”

She
ran off to the restroom as Demarius and I sat there in silence, chewing our
dinner. Demarius was going to town and had devoured about half the boat all on
his own. I hoped that he’d keep eating and eventually nothing would be left. I
was pretty sure two was going to be my sushi limit for the night.

“So,
LaLa seems to think pretty highly of you,” I said to him as I attempted to fill
the silence between us.

He
raised his eyebrows. “I feel the same about her.”

“She
usually doesn’t spend this much time with guys,” I said. “You two are together,
like, every day it seems.”

“We’re
just having fun,” he said with a wink. “Taking it one day at a time.”

I
smiled at him. He did seem like a pretty laid back, genuine kind of guy. LaLa
deserved that after the string of asshole losers she’d dated over the last
couple years.

I
took a sip of my mojito and glanced around the room. I admired the gorgeous
fish tank behind the bar, but not for long. My eyes landed on the back of a
very familiar looking head of hair.

“Kevin?”
I said out loud to myself.

“Huh?”
Demarius asked, clueless.

I
stared hard, probably so hard he could feel it, and within seconds he spun
around, take out order in hand. He locked eyes with me, but he was with someone
else. Another guy.
Probably a fellow detective from the
department.