Candidate (Selected Book 4) (48 page)

"How many give ribbons?"

"2 or 3."

"Per event?"

"For the day."

Every pair of eyes turned to me. I did the math. "Shit," I said. "Did I do that?"

"You did that," Jasmine said. "20 willing and 8 ribbons."

I thought about it. "Do you need more than 16 that fight?"

Bay began laughing. "If you have that much success, there will be a major shift in which species get mates. Right now, it's heavily weight towards the few species that need today's competition."

"I won't get it down to 16," I said. "I might be able to get it below 32."

"What would your timeline be, Andie?"

"Let me think," I said. "They come in, always arriving the day before we wake them up?"

"Sometimes a few days early," said Dark Skies. "And sometimes we get them mid cycle like you. Those we sometimes make sleep but more likely wake up and terrify."

"Don't listen to her. We don't terrify them. We wear down their resolve," Jasmine said.

"Yeah, let's not talk about that or I'm going to get pissed off. Why do we make them sleep another night? I bet they've already slept a lot."

"We get their biorhythms attuned to local daylight," Clover said.

"Okay. That's probably important."

"And we want to give them a few hours, but not a few days, to stew," said Jasmine. "And don't get angry about it."

"Fine," I said. "Okay, so the time I could have available starts after breakfast the first day. We can call that Day 1. Any time before that breakfast is Day 0." I thought some more. "I want two days to do interviews. If you guys want to talk to them, too, you could have them after I have. If I do a long day the first day, then I could be done by lunchtime on the second day."

"If you really need an hour per four, that's a very long day," Jasmine said.

"Don't worry about that. Will you let me do a party like we did for the gay women?"

"Yes."

"And another meet and greet for the ones who might give ribbons?"

"Yes."

"What about straight women who accept willingly? What are we going to do about them?"

"Another party at the same time. Do you feel the need to attend both?"

"No, but I think there should be someone
like me
there, but maybe not gay."

"Is that critical?"

"You need someone to set the tone, Jasmine. And I need an alien with real presence to help, too. I'm sorry, Bay and Cedar, but that doesn't describe either of you. You're both really cute, but you are not physically commanding."

"No offense taken," Cedar said.

"Dark Skies, you're great, but you're young, and until you're a queen, I'm not sure you have the gravitas, either. So right now that leaves me the two Catseye plus possibly a few of our guests. And not just any species, either. Catseye seem perfect. The Wookies are good, too. Not the Ardents. They're too... military."

I turned back to Jasmine. "Unless you have staff in waiting, or bring more in, we can't run the parties at the same time."

"I think you're right," she said. "So, timeline."

"I finish interviews around lunch on Day 2. One reception evening of Day 2. Public interviews like you already do on Day 3. A second reception the evening of Day 3." I looked around. "I know that's more work up front, but we'll get more accepting willingly, and we'll get more to offer ribbons."

"You forgot the meet and greet."

"Damn it. Right. Okay, second reception the afternoon of day 2 and the meet and greet in the evening of day 3. Arena on Day 4 instead of Day 3. I only asked for one day. Only one, Jasmine. Please. We'll more than make up for it."

"I think you're cramming too much into three days and should ask for one more, Andie."

"Would you give it to me?"

"I don't know. If this fails miserably because we didn't fully invest, then it will be harder to double down. I think you either need to back off on your request and show us what you can do with an incremental change, or try to convince us to give you two days."

"It's the receptions that are the problem, isn't it?"

"Only because we don't have the staff to run them all at once, and if we're going to do it, we need to give people time. You were planning on the lesbians getting the first reception and the straight women the second, weren't you?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Ratio and time. The evening reception can run longer. We aren't squished by time."

"Andie," said Clover gently, "Everyone in the room is with you in spirit. But we're about the only ones who are. Almost no one not in this room cares what the women feel about the process."

"It's not just the process, it's giving them a better chance."

"85 percent success ratio, Andie," Jasmine said. "That kicks ass on the human divorce rate, and that doesn't count the couples who break up after a few months."

"Am I solving a problem that doesn't exist?"

"No. You're solving a problem that only six people in the world thinks needs fixing."

"It's more than that," said Clover, "but do you see what we mean?"

"I see."

"More women who take a willing relationship lowers our workload dramatically," Clover said. "Giving you an extra day could be easy to absorb. But women who give ribbons don't change our workload at all. It matters to them, and to the people who receive ribbons, but outside this room, no one else cares."

"There's another factor," Jasmine asked. "I give visors to the women who accept willingly. I give them to the women who please me during their interviews. You're asking most of the women to have an extra day of boredom. I suspect that matters to you. And no, I won't hand them out just because you ask me to. They have to be earned."

"Andie," said Dark Skies. "Do you really need an hour per four? Could you do it faster?"

"I don't know."

"Could you do it in a half hour?"

"How can I do in a half hour for four something that takes you each an hour for one?"

"What if we send them to you second? We do what we do, then you work on giving them their choices."

"I want them before they turn implacable," I said. I smiled at Jasmine. I could grow to like that word. I thought about it. "I get them starting in the morning on Day 1. You guys can get them from me after I've talked, if you want, but I bet you could do other things. It'll take me until lunch, or just past lunch, on Day 2. But I'll have already processed a whole bunch. You could start the public interviews on Day 2."

"When are your receptions?"

"Meet and greet in the evening of Day 2. Receptions for the willing in the evenings on days 3 and 4. If they change their minds, they get held over until the next cycle. How often do people reverse?"

"It happens. If they do it, tough." Then Jasmine said. "Or... There might be very few. One or two, if that. We can do a mini arena event the day after they back out and then get them on the same schedule with everyone else."

"Let me try it. Please."

"Poke holes, people," Jasmine said.

"Her first day is long," Clover said. "She's going to be worn out."

"There's only one of her," said Bay. "What happens when we lose her?"

"That's months away," I said. "And maybe Dark Skies will change her mind and decide to keep me." I smiled at that. "Or Peony will hate her job, and then Dark Skies will drug me into oblivion until I agree to be their Third."

There were chuckles at that.

"We don't know what the future brings," I said. "And we have a few months. Even if you have to revert once I'm gone, that's hundreds of women who had an easier process."

"We got twenty willing instead of ten," Cedar said. "That's at least 30 challenges we don't have to do. If she can get them up front, it's an entire arena event we can skip, too. I wouldn't mind arena day being one event fewer."

"You could have women waiting in the wings," I said. "And fill in."

"Maybe," Jasmine said. "I also tweak who attends what arena event based on which women are available."

"I bet you could put six women you aren't tweaking for into the wings. Plan on three events. If I miss by one or two, and event three is 18 instead of 16, is that going to hurt?"

"We'd have to put two more cages in," Dark Skies said. "But we'd have a break to do it, and that wouldn't take long."

"And move in eight more challengers," Cedar added.

"If I only get five willing during the interviews, you know we'll have to do all 4 arena events. But if I get ten or more, then you can plan."

"Bay," said Jasmine. "You're being quiet."

"I think you should let her do it, but if you do, you have to give her a chance to fail a little, and then go back and fix it. When I make new nasty tricks, I have to tweak them. You can't expect perfection from her from the start. If you aren't going to let her fail, don't let her try."

I looked at him and thought about it. "He's probably right."

"Does anyone think this is a bad idea?"

"Just the two concerns. She's going to burn out, and what do we do when we lose her," said Cedar.

"One more," I said. "If Clover moves to Switzerland, and we're training in a new senior event coordinator, plus dealing with my unusual status, and then I leave, too, what sort of chaos does that cause?"

Everyone was quiet, but then Clover says, "Please let her try, Jasmine. It's better for the women, but selfishly, if it works, then I might be able to hold on longer."

"I'm trying to replace you," Jasmine said. "I have my eye on someone, but I haven't figured out how to convince her wife to let her come."

"You can't break up another couple!" I said.

"I won't," she said. "I gave her wife a very, very big reason to hate me. On the other hand, the wife's mother is the senior cook here."

"Skye," Clover said, a whisper. "God you were an idiot, Jasmine."

"It was necessary," Jasmine said. "We wouldn't have Andromeda here now if I hadn't done it. No, Andie, I won't tell you about it."

"I like Skye," Bay said. "And her wife would be good. She's young, but she'd be good."

"That's a close family," Jasmine said. "A problem for another day. Clover, it might take me years to get her to come, and I don't have anyone else."

"I won't wait years, Jasmine," Clover said quietly. "But if you can send me to Peony a few days twice a month, I think I can give you a year. I won't be happy about it, but I think I can last."

"Let's see what help Andie can give us," she said. "Andie, you got it."

"I do?"

"Yes. For a price."

"With you, there is always a price."

"Back off on everything else, and if I ask you to do something as a mating candidate, let me bribe you without a big fight."

"No more practical jokes if I have to be charming afterwards."

"That's fair. What if you don't have to be charming?"

I thought carefully. "Those are fair," I said. "But only if you can take teasing and probably a little bitching, and if you really piss me off, you find a way to calm me down, and I don't mean by drugging me out."

"Then we're agreed. Now, let's talk about the current batch."

The rest of that evening and most of the next day were hectic. Building challenge grids was largely automated. I expected Julie's to be difficult, but Jasmine said simply, "It's not the first time we had someone who wasn't athletic. We've had paraplegics, Andie."

But then we had to host the meetings to determine the challenges, and those took time. "The first day it's rough because the mating candidates don't know what to expect. It gets easier later, and we can run them far more efficiently."

Jasmine had me shadow her for the day. The meetings began the same, with Jasmine asking the mating candidate and her challenger if they minded if I was there. No one asked me to leave. Then Jasmine described the process. After that, we went through it.

This was also when the challengers offered gifts to their candidates. Boots, visors, and sunblock were common. Candidates who had been cooperative were offered the opportunity to shower. Requests for more clothing to wear when not in a challenge were strictly denied. Belligerent candidates lost their visors.

I only had one mating candidate who would be going through challenges -- Julie. But I was offered more, and I asked for Hiruki and Sylvie and was also given a woman named Riley Evans. Jasmine only had four others for a total of 8. The other three senior event coordinators would divide the remaining 36, with Bay and Cedar taking 13 each and leaving Clover with 10.

We did Jasmine's interviews first. Then, by early afternoon, after I had seen four done, we switched.

We talked to Haruki and her two challengers first, and we would run their challenge first in the morning. After they left, I turned to Jasmine. "I'd let you and Clover fight over me that way."

She laughed.

Sylvie was next. She had no idea how to drive the grid of choices, and she would end up being hunted in one of the smaller of the jungle arenas. Jasmine told me after they left that, "Many of the ETs would have every challenge be one of capturing and vanquishing their mating candidates, and the variety of the challenges is only in how this happens. Some want a hunt and some want open combat. This tends to be predictable by species, and we fill the grid accordingly."

Riley's event was nearly identical, but it would be in a large savannah, and she was given a simulated laser rifle. Hits to her opponent would slowly disable him. But it had a slow rate of fire, and Jasmine told me, "It's harder to hit something than you think."

"I think I should see for myself."

"Yes. We've all been on one side or another of many of these events, for practice if nothing else."

Julie was last. Her challenger arrived first and took a seat. We talked quietly for a few minutes, and then the guards arrived with Julie. She was wearing a visor and was shackled -- just like most of the women. The guards put her in a chair, and I told the chair and table to lock her in. Then the guards left to perform their next delivery, and I woke Julie's visor.

She saw her challenger first, seated across from her, and as soon as she saw him, she began to smile.

Her challenger was a Luxan named Ben Eagle Nebula. The Luxan species was named after a fictional race from some television show I'd never heard of. Mr. Eagle Nebula looked a little like a Lord of the Rings dwarf on steroids. He was nearly seven feet tall, broad, powerful, and while not furry, not exactly, he had a great amount of hair. He had a huge mane of hair on his head that he tamed into rows and a great, massive beard he handled in the same way. In some ways, he looked quite human, although with what we might find a misshapen skull. And, of course, I had never seen a human with that much hair.

Luxan were a race that smiled when happy, and Ben showed his teeth when he saw Julie.

"Hello, Ben."

"Hello, Julie," he replied. His voice was deep and craggy, but it felt warm to me at the same time. He spoke slowly and with an accent, but his diction was perfect, and he was easily understood.

"Do you regret accepting my ribbon?"

"Julie, you are a smart woman. Why would you ask such a dumb question?"

And she smiled even more broadly. I was sure then they were going to be all right.

I let them make goo goo eyes at each other for a minute, then I drew their attention. "Julie, do you remember me?"

She turned to me and smiled. "Yes, Andromeda. And Administrator Brighteyes."

"Good. You both know I am a mating candidate here, but I'm on a somewhat different program than everyone else, and I'm helping out while we're shorthanded. If I have permission from both of you, I will conduct this meeting. But if you are concerned, then Jasmine Brighteyes can take care of you."

"Why would we be concerned?" Julie asked.

"Well, Dr. Eagle Nebula may be concerned that a human may offer the other human an unfair advantage."

"Dr. Eagle Nebula has no such concerns," said the gentleman in question. "Dr. Eagle Nebula knows you are a woman of impeccable integrity."

I turned and looked at him for a minute. "You are aware that I'm not really any happier to be here than most of the mating candidates. I believe the process used here is, frankly, barbaric."

He glanced at Jasmine then returned his focus to me. "And yet you consistently work very hard to help the women find good matches. You helped my Julie to choose me. You make choices that are difficult for you in order to help people you don't even know. And you took great self risk to remind all of us that not everyone who comes here comes with good intentions. You did that with a great deal of bravery, especially for one who is not a warrior."

I stared at him until Jasmine said gently, "Perhaps we could move on, Andromeda. They both appear pleased."

"Right," I said. I turned to Julie. "I explained to you that we would meet to determine the nature of your first challenge."

"Yes. Ben and I went through the process last night. We made our own sample grids and traversed them just like we'll do today." She looked across the table to Ben. "I don't care what we do. I just don't want to disappoint you."

"You couldn't, Julie," he said. "We're going to trust Andromeda to give us a good first challenge. You'll see."

"Right," I said. "This is the first challenge, and so neither of you have points to spend. And so what we will do is eliminate branches until we achieve a challenge. We will then discuss handicaps. I'll explain the first portion, mostly so you understand. We will first determine the nature of the allowed technology. There are three levels. Primitive covers anything prior to the invention of the automobile. Modern refers to Earth modern. And high tech is anything the aliens are willing to let us use in these challenges. Visors and safety clothing are not part of this discussion. You could wear very high technology safety equipment in a primitive challenge."

"I understand."

"After that we will determine the size of arena. If you pick small, that means a room inside this structure. Julie, there is a gym like you might expect at home, with a pool."

"A pool?" She smiled. "I like to swim."

"If you pick a medium structure, then it is the arena from yesterday. We then have two flavors of large from approximately two kilometers on a side to ten kilometers in diameter. We also have one very large area that is only used for modern and high technology events, and the available branches from there are limited. We do not have this option today."

"All right."

"The third choice may not actually be a choice. If you pick one of the larger sizes, then you pick the nature of the terrain: jungle, desert, savannah, or coastal."

"That makes sense," Julie said.

"After those choices are made, we begin to get into the meat of the grid, determining not where the event is performed, but the actual nature of the event. Just because we use the coastal arena doesn't mean you have to swim."

She nodded.

"Dr. Eagle Nebula, it would be inappropriate for me to access your inner systems. Would you like to use a visor or a tablet for making your selections?"

"Whatever is convenient," he said. "Do you even have a visor that fits my head?"

"We do," said Jasmine.

"Then I will take that." Jasmine had it ready, and she slid the case down the table to him. The Luxan opened the case and looked at it. "I haven't worn one of these in thirty earth years. This will be an experience."

I waited until it was live then made sure I could access both visors. "The first choice is to choose the level of technology. I will provide you both with the list of choices, and you may deselect one choice each. If you do not have a preference, you are under no obligation to eliminate a choice. I will choose from the remaining choices."

"Ready," Julie said.

They both made their choices. They both deselected primitive.

I smiled. "You both made the same choice. You deselected primitive. I feel like playing with the fancy toys and selected high technology."

"That sounds like fun," Julie said. "But will I be able to use it?"

"We will teach you first," Jasmine said. "And if skillful use of the technology is required to have a fighting chance, you will be allowed to practice."

"Next, size of venue. Small, medium, or large. While we have two sizes of large, if we need to select between them, that choice is made later. Click off the one you wish to veto."

Ben deselected small. Julie deselected large.

"We'll be in the arena here," I said. "This means we do not need to select topography. Now we pick the basic nature of the challenge. We have several basic choices. We have races. This can be a simple foot race, although not with high technology involved. It can be an obstacle race or a race to complete a task. That is, it might not be who can run the fastest so much as who can assemble a structure the fastest."

"I see. I don't think I like that one."

"Well, the next is combat. Combat with humans is very carefully controlled. You will not get hurt worse than a bruise or two. The biggest risk is a twisted ankle. Combat does not necessarily mean hand to hand. It could be a game of laser tag or throwing water balloons at each other."

"High tech water balloons."

"Well, there aren't any high tech water balloon fights on the grid today," I said with a smile. "But do you understand?"

"Yes," she said.

"The next choice is a hunt. This can mean hunting something else. It can mean a scavenger hunt. It can mean hunting each other. Or it can mean he is hunting you, Julie."

"Oh." She looked at Ben. "I bet you like that idea."

He smiled again. "Yes, actually."

"Understand that the categories aren't necessarily exclusive of each other. This is the base category, but it could be that he is to hunt you, but you are given a laser rifle to try to defend yourself. If your goal is to escape and his is to find and catch you, it's a hunt."

"I understand."

"We have other basic categories, but these are the ones we have available today." I paused. "Julie, each major category has things you can do. You may not be an expert at them, but you can do them, and some of them you can do well."

I put up the choices. They both eliminated races. I looked at Jasmine. "Guidance?"

"You're doing fine, Andromeda."

I thought about the choices coming up. And I wanted to surprise Julie. "You both eliminated races," I said. "And the arena is a little small for the more interesting hunts, but as we've seen, it makes a good space for combat. That is what we will be doing."

Julie's lips tightened, but she nodded.

We went through just a few more choices, finally settling on one I'd already seen -- laser tag. Jasmine had told me this was a very popular choice, and it showed up on most of the grids. Julie looked at me dubiously, but I said, "I don't know how well you'll do, but if you want to practice, I wonder if Administrator Brighteyes would let us practice together."

"We could?"

Jasmine had already told me she'd let me get away with this sort of offer if I didn't do it too often, and so she nodded her permission.

"I'll have to schedule it somehow. I can get you practice time with the laser guns, but if you want the entire experience, that requires more coordination. We'd have to get someone to leave the arena set up after they have run another event, and then yours might not be the exact same configuration later."

She seemed pleased at the idea.

"Next," I said. "We have to determine the handicaps you will each have." I sent the available choices to their visors. "Julie, in subsequent rounds, the points you win from this round can be used to guide the choices later. But for this event, what we do is easy. You may spend up to ten points to give Dr. Eagle Nebula a handicap. But he can then spend as many points as you spent. You must spend one point, but you don't have to spend more if you don't want to. And you do not have the same list of handicaps, and when you do have the same item, it may not be the same number of points."

I thought this was actually a little cruel. She had to decide if she was willing to suffer reverse handicaps. Finally she said, "I have to spend one?"

"Yes."

"Then you can make the targets he has to hit smaller. That's one point."