“A Batman shirt and ponytail? Seriously?” My frenemy Jessica greeted me when I arrived at the beach that night. “I thought you were kidding at school with that lame outfit. But hello? This is a party, not Comic-Con.”
The small patch of sand near Turtle Creek was already full of kids ready to cool off in the 90-degree heat. I’d arrived a few minutes after seven-thirty and there were at least twenty people throwing Frisbees or riding the rope swing out over the water. A few of the boys had brought in coolers with sodas on top and beers hidden underneath, while the girls compared bikini tops.
I gave her a fake smile that masked the panic attack building about tonight. Taking a deep breath, I told myself not to let her get to me. “What’s up, Jess? Didn’t know you knew about Comic-Con. You must make a perfect Poison Ivy.” I’d survived the cliques of Jefferson Davis High this long and wouldn’t let a witch with French tips bring me down now.
“Hey ladies,” Matt announced himself, arriving on the scene and sliding an arm around my waist. “Looking good tonight, as always.” His warm lips tickled my ear as he whispered, “Meant to tell you at school—Batman is now my favorite superhero.”
His eyes were all over me, but Jessica preened, her toes turning inward like she was six years old. “Hi Matt,” Jessica’s breathless voice displayed none of the venom she’d just shot my way. “You look good yourself.”
I had to give Matt props, since he barely heard her. He made a vague sort of nod in her direction and steered me away. He wasn’t all bad. But I couldn’t help contrast his popular persona to Seth’s quirky style. Matt and I hung out mostly at games or at parties, leaving us little one-on-one time. I still barely knew the boy beneath the shoulder pads and helmet. Seth and I, on the other hand, had long talks while we watched the stars and counted lightning bugs. I taught him about the cosmos while he shared the genus and species of every living thing around us. I missed him. Missed
us
.
“I need to talk to you.” Matt lowered his voice, his hand palming my back, providing the sort of thrill I should not be feeling from him.
“Sure.” Steeling myself, I tried not to notice his warm fingertips through the soft cotton of my T-shirt. Soon, it would be Seth touching me, and then everything would be right again. “I need to tell you something too.” I took in a deep breath and opened my mouth. Breaking up with Matt meant I needed to tell him about Seth. As hard as that would be, it wouldn’t be right otherwise.
“Dude!” One of Matt’s friends shouted from the water. “Water football starts in five minutes. Hurry up.”
Air exploded from my lungs and my shoulders drooped. The wait was killing me, but I didn’t have the heart to ruin Matt’s night before it began. I gave him a weak smile and glanced at the creek.
Most of the guys had already gone in. There was a bend where a wide, shallow area made a good spot for water sports. Great for Matt and his friends, maybe. But that meant I’d spend an anxious twenty minutes with Jessica and company while I waited to confess my real feelings.
“Promise you won’t take off until we talk?” Matt asked, still by my side despite the collected cheers and catcalls from a handful of his friends.
“Not a chance.” I gave Matt a little shove toward the water. “Go have fun. I’ll be here.”
With a nod, he stripped off his shirt and jogged toward the creek, muscles rippling and girls’ necks twisting for a better look. Matt definitely wouldn’t have a problem moving on after me. Honestly, I was shocked we’d lasted this long. I looked decent in my cheerleading uniform, fit in with his popular crowd, and brought his favorite Gatorade to games, but there were lots of girls who could do the same. As a junior next year, he’d be more sought after than ever and have his pick.
“I’m open!” he shouted to his friends, calling for a pass as he jumped in with a splash.
I trudged Jessica’s way, where she held court with two of her lackeys. My steps slowed as I approached, not wanting to tangle with them tonight. Way too much to deal with already.
Instead I veered toward a log beside a rounded bush blooming with burgundy flowers—
Berberis thunbergii
, Seth would have told me. A Japanese barberry bush. I inhaled the delicate scent and remembered the wildflower bouquet Seth had given me on our final evening at camp last year.
His wide shoulders had made my heart skip a beat when he’d jogged up my cabin’s steps. I’d slipped outside and returned his slow smile when he pulled a slightly wilted arrangement of yellow black-eyed Susans, purple blazing stars, and white Queen Anne’s lace from behind his back.
“So you won’t forget me.” His hands lingered on mine as he gave me the fragrant gift. He must have used his free activity period to manage this surprise. I looked up at him, touched. Did he honestly think I’d forget him?
“This way you can bring a little of the Smoky Mountains to Texas.” He stroked my upper arms, worry puckering his strong brow
.
My happiness evaporated at the reminder that my parents would be arriving tomorrow and that Seth and I would be apart. Not even a couple. We’d agreed to break up again and see where things stood next summer. It’d worked last year, and I’d hated to risk losing him by disagreeing. With everything else unraveling in my life, I needed Seth to be a constant
.
I led Seth to our porch swing and snuggled against his side. The soft periwinkle light enfolded us, the first glimmers of Venus appearing in the darkening sky. His arms wrapped around me and I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing in his clean, outdoorsy smell
.
“Everything is changing so fast.” The bouquet trembled on my lap
.
Seth tipped up my chin and leveled his golden eyes at me. “Everyone is going to love you in Texas, Lauren. You’re amazing.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my fingers in his thick, blond curls. PDA was enough to earn us Mess Hall duty, but we were leaving tomorrow. What was the worst the counselors could do?
He cupped the back of my head and kissed me, the warmth of his body seeping into mine. After a moment, we pulled apart, both of us out of breath. “I’m going to miss this,” I murmured
.
“I’m going to miss you.” His hands smoothed across my back. “I can’t believe next summer will be our last together.”
I ignored the anxious pang those words inflicted. If all went according to plan, this time next year, we’d be a year-round couple, I’d thought. No more summers-only and no more endings. “Let’s not think about that now.” I brushed my lips against his and gasped when he crushed me to him, banishing my worries with a long, deep kiss
.
“Hi, Lauren,” a voice came from beside the barberry bush, breaking me out of my reverie.
“Hey Paige.” I waved to a girl on the cheer team. She was Crash’s girlfriend and was a grade below me. Was it just my imagination, or was she avoiding the rest of the girls?
“I don’t want to bother you–” Her eyes darted toward Jessica as one of her friends burst into giggles over some private joke. “But if you have a minute—”
She hugged her arms around her waist and bit her lip.
“What’s up?” I was game for anything besides wedding planning or a round of ‘stab your friend in the back’ with Jessica’s crew. And I definitely needed to stop thinking about Seth until Matt and I talked. I glanced at my iPhone. Five minutes down, fifteen or so to go. My gut twisted itself in a double knot.
“I’m having some trouble with the new routine, and Jessica said there’s no way I’ll make the squad next year if I don’t get the timing down.”
How charming that we had our very own tyrant to ensure quality control.
“You’ll make the squad.” I’d have a vote on everyone who tried out, just like the rest of my teammates. But then again, maybe
I’d
be the one getting the boot next year. Breaking up with Matt meant losing the built-in status that came with being his girlfriend.
Without him, would I freefall back into Nerdy Anonymity, never to return?
And if I did, would that be such a bad thing? Being Seth’s fulltime girlfriend was all I needed.
“But if you had time over break, I thought—” Paige shrugged a shoulder, her pink glittery tank top meeting tonight’s dress code better than my superhero tee. “We could get together to practice. I could—I don’t know—make your banners for you next fall to pay you back.”
“Wow.” That was generous, since each cheerleader had to make a banner for two of the guys on the football team, and one of the guys on the basketball team when that season came around. The banners weren’t just Magic Marker on poster board either. They were competitive works of art. “That’s a great trade, Paige, but I’m going to summer camp for eight weeks and when I get home my sister is getting married. I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”
“Oh.”
Crestfallen
had only been a vocab word for me until that moment. “Okay. I understand.”
“I’m sorry,” I rushed to explain, feeling like I’d just kicked a puppy. “If I was going to be around, I’d definitely—”
“It’s okay.” She twined her finger around a little braid tucked behind one ear. “Is the camp for cheerleading?”
Behind us, someone cranked up the tunes to drown out the sounds of the boys fighting over whether or not a pass was intercepted. A couple of girls gyrated their hips and looked to see if the boys were checking them out.
“No.” I leaned against the tree. “It’s a summer camp in western North Carolina.”
“So is it a sports camp?” Paige’s brow furrowed, uncomprehending. “Or an arts camp?”
“Both. It’s a traditional camp. My dad went there.” Paige was more interested than I would have thought and had lots of questions. Had I misjudged her? Not given her a chance? Maybe I could have had a friend this year…a real one. We must have talked for a while, because the next thing I knew, a crescent moon, my favorite, appeared in the southern sky, and the guys were out of the water.
“There you are.” Matt’s voice wrapped around me just as Crash arrived to retrieve Paige, teasing her that he was going to throw her in the water.
“Here I am.” I swallowed hard, knowing the point of No Return had arrived.
Nearby, most everyone paired off into couples. A few of the guys weren’t dating anyone, but even they had invited girls to hang out with. The six of them were the noisier group at one end of the rocky beach, while some of the other couples disappeared altogether. Thankfully, Matt had never pressured me too much to take that long walk into the woods at twilight. Yet another reason he’d been a good boyfriend. I’d never felt ready and couldn’t go all the way with him when a piece of my heart still belonged to Seth.
“Come on,” Matt gestured toward the quieter side of the party. “I brought a dry towel.”
He laid out the towel and pulled on his T-shirt. His hair still dripped onto the collar in a few spots. My heart pounded hard; there was no turning back.
“I want to apologize,” he started as he sat beside me on the blue terrycloth. “I haven’t even asked you about your sister’s wedding or anything lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“That’s okay.” I was kind of surprised he even remembered Kellianne had gotten engaged. We didn’t spend a lot of time at each other’s houses, and I had only mentioned the wedding a few times, over post-game pizzas in town. “I don’t expect you to share that headache with me. Unless, of course, you want to weigh in on the merits of semi-gloss lipstick versus matte for a church ceremony.”
“Uh. Right. Not my area of expertise.” We shared a laugh before he grew serious again. Wrapping an arm loosely around one knee, he turned forest-green eyes on me. “Lauren, my mom and dad are getting divorced.”
It took a while for the words to sink in.
“Ohmigod, Matt. I’m so sorry.” I’d been so wrapped up in my own family drama this year that I had missed his. While I’d just had the vague worry of divorce floating around my head, given the amount of time Dad spent away from us now, Matt had to deal with the real thing.
I reached for him, my hand on his arm before I could think twice about touching a soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. No matter how I felt, this sucked for Matt.
“My dad cheated on my mom.” His voice turned harsh. Unforgiving. “I’m so pissed at him—” He shook his head. His jaw flexed.
“That’s awful.” A sinking feeling washed over me.
Matt was going through hell. I’d be a total jerk to break up with him when he already had a huge life crisis on his plate. Then again, how could I not when I intended to be with Seth next week? Guilt pinched at my heart.
“Thanks.” Matt squeezed my hand hard. “I know I’ve been out of it lately, but that’s why. I—I’m so glad I have you, Lauren.”
His heartfelt words delivered the death blow to my break-up plan, at least for tonight.
“Me too,” I murmured, feeling like a traitor to him and to Seth. But weathering the divorce news alone would really suck, and it wouldn’t be right to give him another thing to worry about.
I squeezed his hand back. Maybe I could spend time with him for the next few days and cheer him up before I broke the news to him on Wednesday or Thursday.
“We can write to each other this summer,” I continued, hoping to reassure him so he wouldn’t feel like I was bailing. “And we’re allowed to use our phones for an hour once a week.”
Seth would understand if I needed to exchange a few texts with a guy who was going through this kind of family trouble. He was always there for everyone.
“I want to do more than talk on the phone.” One corner of Matt’s mouth kicked up, a reluctant smile starting. “There’s one bit of good news in all this.”
“What’s that?” On the other end of the beach, someone lit a bonfire, the bright flare making me realize how dark it had gotten.
“My dad knows he messed up, so it was a good time to ask for what I
really
wanted this summer.” Matt turned toward me, his fingers covering mine where they rested on the towel. “I told him I’m going to miss the first week of weight-training.”
“You are?” Butler men played football, and players all hit the weights in an intensive program that started during the summer, even before practices began. It was tradition. “Why?”