Call Me Michigan (10 page)

“When Taylor said that you still have my pictures in the truck, I thought she was lyin’.” Ashley touched their smiling faces, and Mason couldn’t deny that he wanted them to go back to not talking to each other. There was just so much he didn’t want to face, that he couldn’t explain or apologize for, and no man liked facing that.

“I don’t think she could’ve made somethin’ like that up,” he persisted, starting the truck, wondering if turning on the music would make her shut up.

“Why, Mason? You never looked at me the way you think you did, so why?”

“I wanted to remind myself not to make the same mistake again.” He heard her swallow, but figured since they were being honest, he might as well continue. “Being with you was amazin’ and fun, but you’re right, I was in it for the wrong reasons. I hurt you so much, and I never want to do that to anyone ever again. I thought I had to move on after Taylor left, but come on, move on from what? The day you told me you were pregnant, I swore to myself that I was going to do everythin’ to make you happy. No matter what, you deserved more.” They both had been lying to themselves, but that wasn’t going to happen again. “We should’ve never dated, but while you weren’t Taylor, you reminded me of her so much.”

“I thought I wanted it all with you, but when I held your daughter in my arms, I realized that I’ve never wanted kids. I didn’t want the responsibility. It was always Collins’ dream, and you know, people in town expected me to have that child with you, but I adopted her dreams because I had no idea who I was and what I wanted.” Mason had to swallow, slowing down the car. He knew Ash wasn’t done talking yet. “Mase, the moment we got together, we started livin’ a lie. A ghost pushed us forward, and as much as I hate to admit it, I love you. I always have, only not the way I thought. I told you before that I could see it in your eyes when you looked at her, but it pales compared to the way she smiles when she sees you. I’ll give you a month max, and then I sit her down and make your confession for you.”

Mason parked the truck, staring at Woody’s. “Well, we can’t get around that anyway because unless you tell her why we aren’t a couple any longer, she won’t …” She wouldn’t do what? Move forward? Give in? “Last night, she basically told me she has a crush on me.” He smirked, and Ash turned toward him in her seat.

“She always had a loose tongue when tipsy.” His ex laughed.

He had smiled before his good mood vanished again. “If, just if Taylor and I get where I hope we’ll get, it’ll be hell for you. She wants to be your friend, and we’ll be spending time together. How can she make it right for both of us?”

“We used to be friends before, and I miss it,” she admitted.

“Before I hurt you.”

“I wasn’t an angel, Mason. I left you with a child … an infant, really,” she appeased him, and it gave Mason the opening he had longed for months ago.

“Do you want to see her? Do you sometimes miss her?”

Instead of answering, Ash got out of the truck, and Mason followed her example. “She’s not my daughter, Mase. When I see her, I don’t get all tingly and warm. She’s a little girl, adorable, but that’s all. I think I’m broken because no baby makes me want to reach out and touch it. They are annoying, and she’s no exception. She was always calmest when you held her. And in case you didn’t notice, she looks nothin’ like me. She deserves a mother who adores her, and we both know we wish for the same girl to be just that.”

Mason decided to stay quiet. How could he ever expect Taylor to raise a child that wasn’t her own, and even worse, her best friend’s baby?

“Let’s get movin’. You and your sweetheart –”

“I’m not, Brad, and you can stop bein’ an ass. Mase and I are friends again,” she snapped at his best friend.

“The ex-dragon and you are friends again? You don’t want Taylor anymore?” Brad asked in a hushed voice.

“We aren’t back together, you idiot! But we now should get movin’, or Taylor will be home before anyone manages anything!” With that, Ashley marched ahead, making the guys smile.

***

Taylor was exhausted. In addition to the late night with Mason’s daughter, followed by an early morning, she had spent the day talking to a million people, debating and comparing prices, yet she felt as if she hadn’t gotten anywhere. Fact: She had no idea what good prices were. Second fact: Her heart wasn’t in it. Last fact: She had still gotten discounts and promises of further reductions if only she could get regular food orders in. The cows needed fodder and so did the horses. Taylor was thinking about adding a few chickens; just enough so she wouldn’t have to buy eggs. She didn’t know if that could work, but she would think about it. Maybe. In the future.

Fact: Taylor hated farming and everything to do with it, but maybe she could do animals and all that shebang.

She stayed in her parents’ truck a little while longer, not too keen on spending a night on the sofa after spending two in Mason’s bed. She hoped she’d be too exhausted to ponder that long and simply fall asleep.

Her front door opened, and Mason and Ash came out, startling her. Only then did she notice the two cars parked by the side of her house.

Pushing open the door, she scrambled out of the truck.

“Hey Collins,” Ashley greeted her, kissing her cheek before wishing her well and leaving.

“Mason, what the hell have you two been doing in my house?” She shook with anger as her very imaginative brain provided a vivid picture of those two naked on her sofa. She didn’t mind the sofa part. Instead, awareness slammed into her at the thought of those two back together. She absolutely wouldn’t be okay with it, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise.

“Michigan, it’s not what ya think,” he promised, and she stalked past him into the house. The smell of fresh paint assaulted her nose, and she spun around as her head caught up with her jolting heart.

“Oh, God. You didn’t clear out the bedroom. Promise me you didn’t!” Fury made her tremble as tears of frustration jumped to her eyes. “Tell me you fucked her on the kitchen counter instead,” she demanded, and shock warred on his features as he was trying on and dismissing words.

“Why are you so angry, Taylor? We wanted to do you a favor! I –”

“You had no right. Those were my demons to fight. Now, I’ll never win! Plus you spent money I don’t have! I’m indebted to you when I tried by damnedest to never be indebted to anyone again.” She was screaming and didn’t care.

“Look at you, Taylor Collins! You slept on a sofa, you talk about demons, and you know, I actually know that you have no control whatsoever over your life or your farm. You have a cattle farm and not once have you been in the barn, or you’d realize they are still out in the paddocks. You have three farm hands, and you don’t even know it. How do I know? Because Tamara called me and asked me to check on them.” He grabbed her upper arms. “You don’t take the lead in your life, so someone else had to do it. Hate me all you want, but I’m not going to let you waste away!”

They were both breathing hard, and Taylor felt Mason’s angry breath on her lips. They had moved so close to one another, they literally shared the same air. She knew that no one else could cause feelings as deep in her as he did, even if the current one was total fury.

“Get out, Mason Stiles! Right now!”

“And then what, Taylor? You bury yourself in here, pretending you’re all right? I’m your friend, Tay, and even if you left us all, ready to forget us, we didn’t forget you.”

“Forget you?” she spat, venom in her voice. She hadn’t once been able to forget him or her friends while she was up there. “Forget you? I didn’t leave to forget you! I just wanted to be me and couldn’t do that here. I …”

“You never once looked back. Did you call us? Contact us? Come to visit? No! And still, we’re here, aren’t we? Even though you don’t deserve it, we …” His own words seem to register, but Taylor had heard enough, feeling all the color drain from her cheeks.

“I’m glad you all showed up on my doorstep and called me ten times a day. A phone works both ways, you know?” She pushed at his chest, wanting him out of the house so she could cry in peace.

He looked devastated even though he didn’t move one inch. “Tay, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry!” Mason looked as pale as she felt, but she didn’t care. She could barely see straight through the curtain of tears.

“Don’t even try. I don’t want to see you again. Ever. But then, it shouldn’t be a problem since I don’t deserve it anyway, right?” With all the strength she could muster, she forced him out onto the porch and slammed the door in his face.

That had escalated quickly, and while Taylor rationally knew that they both had been angry, saying things they didn’t mean, she was terribly hurt.

She rested her head back against the door, feeling it vibrate with Mason’s frustrated punch.

“I’m sorry, Michigan! Please, just let me back in! Just listen,” he begged, and she could almost feel his heat through the door, only the wood separating them.

“I think I listened enough. Just go, Mason,” she ordered, pleaded, and whispered, all wrapped in a few words when all she wanted to say was ‘Hold me, Mason, make the pain go away.’ “You were right. I never looked back. I never wanted to come back, either. This town… held nothing I ever wanted, so why return?” She made her voice sounds strong, but her whole body shuddered as she bit her index finger not to sob out loud.

There was a long pause on the other side of the door, and then she heard two short raps of his knuckles against the wood before his truck started and he was gone.

Taylor sank to the floor, crying so hard she couldn’t catch her breath, and only after pain invaded every inch of her body did the river of tears cease to flow.

Hours later, Taylor had dragged her tired body to the sofa, finding sleep despite the restlessness of her mind. Only the buzzing of her phone interrupted her nightmare-riddled rest.

“Collins?” Loud country music burst through the speaker until the noise was muffled.

“Taylor?” Instantly, Tay was wide-awake, clutching her cell to her ear.

“Ashley? What’s wrong?”

“Pick up Mason. He’s drunk off his ass, and it’s your fault.” Her friend was mad, and it was no wonder really.

“Ash, I’m sorry. Whatever he said I said was a heat-of-the-moment thing and …”

“Get your skinny ass over to Dooley’s and pick him up. You two need to stop hurting everyone, including each other.”

“Give me ten,” Taylor replied and then was about to hang up, but Ashley’s voice stopped her.

“You need at least twenty. Drive careful, babe.”

Careful wasn’t the problem; worry was. She couldn’t imagine the damage her words had done to all her fragile friendship flowers here.

The moment she stopped her parents’ truck, Ashley stepped out with Mason.

“There she is, the woman with the ice heart. Prettiest girl around and no one can touch her,” he slurred.

“Oh, big boy, you had better shut up,” Ashley suggested, and Mason pushed her away, stumbling over to Taylor and, with surprising precision, drew her in to kiss her like there was no tomorrow.

Like once before, he tasted of cheap whiskey and undeniably Mason. Taylor knew only that she was kissing him back when his stubble tickled her palm.

“Fuck, Mason, again?” she cursed, gently pushing away from him.

“Wait, what? Again?” Ash repeated, and Taylor nodded.

“Before I left, he found me at the bus station.” Her eyes went from her former best friend to the guy who held her heart. His gray eyes focused on her as if he tried hard to remember that moment. “He was totally drunk and basically ordered me to stay after kissing me.”

“Even then I wasn’t good enough. Never good enough for the perfect Taylor Collins,” Mason interrupted, and Taylor closed her eyes, rubbing them in mental exhaustion.

“Time to take him home, Michigan. And tomorrow evenin’, I’ll come by with a bucket of ice cream, and we’ll talk.” Ash gave her a hard stare that she then softened with a smile.

“I’ll heat the chocolate sauce,” Taylor promised and was relieved when Ashley hugged her.

“Everyone loves Taylor! Everyone loves Ashley! No one loves Mason. Can I get an ‘oh’ everyone?” Mason called, but except for raised eyebrows, Mason didn’t get anything.

Taylor opened the passenger door for him, and he climbed clumsily into the seat, instantly turning toward her as she climbed in the driver’s side. “Damn, you’re beautiful,” he said, and she rested her head against the steering wheel, noticing that she had to fight a smile.

“Shut up, Mason. You can’t think straight. I sure hope your mom’s home,” she stated, and he reached out, brushing his thumb across her chin.

“I can never think straight when you’re around. I can’t say the right words, or do the right things where it concerns you.” His tone was subdued, thoughtful, and Taylor wanted to believe that they could have a decent talk, but he was barely holding himself upright as it was, so silence was it for now. He made it hard, though, since his fingertips still danced across her skin, making their way from her chin to her cheek and then the back of her neck.

“My little ice queen,” he whispered, and she swallowed, glad as they eventually came to a standstill in front of his house.