California Dreaming: Four Contemporary Romances (110 page)

She sipped the port’s amber liquid. “I don’t.”

He laughed. “Then you don’t need to be upset. I’ll probably still hire Sally to supervise. I need someone to convince servers that ‘Maui time’ doesn’t work on a movie set.”

“Who’s doing the movie? Is it Beth Ann?”

A frown crossed his forehead and he shook his head. “A director I’ve never worked with, Lena Dunham.”

“Oh.”

The look of relief on his face made her realize she hadn’t asked the right question.

“Who’s producing?”

James shifted his glass from his right hand to his left and back again. “Dana Russell.”

“Oh,” she repeated.

“He’s one of the best producers in the business. If can get this job, it will be a huge step in my career.”

“I thought you didn’t care about your life plan anymore?”

“I don’t.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I mean, I do. The career part is important to me. You need to understand that.”

“But what about us?”

“I want you to come to LA. Take the job with Sally. Meet my mother. But I still have to earn a living. Look. I lo—I care about you. I want you to give us a chance. You’re the one who wants to stay up here.”

“You can have a career without working for my father, can’t you?” She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn’t seem to help it. It seemed unfair that James develop a relationship with her father before
she
did.

“I thought I just explained how good this opportunity was.”

“Well, have fun.” She picked up her purse.

“Mandy, don’t be like this. Don’t make me choose between you and my career.”

They stood at the same time.

Her head told her she was being childish. Her heart ached with sorrow.

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for everything, James. I’ll be in touch.”

Then she walked back to her room, holding back tears of pain and confusion.

James stared at Mandy’s rigid back as she left the lounge.

Damn! There had to be a way to convince her she was wrong.

He scribbled his name and room number on the check, and stormed after her. She’d disappeared by the time he reached the bank of elevators.

What was her room number? She’d told him at dinner, and he’d filed the information away in his mind, but the pain at her rejection was driving every rational thought out of his mind.

Three-twenty-six.

He punched the up button.

When he reached the third floor, he glanced at the signs before taking off down the corridor.

When he got to room three-twenty-six, he hesitated as his anger-driven steam loosened its grip. What if he was acting the fool? He’d look ridiculous if someone saw him standing like a lovesick puppy outside a hotel room door, begging to be let in.

But damn it, he wasn’t going to let her run away from him just because she had parent issues.

He pounded on the door.

“Who is it?” Her voice was tiny behind the barrier.

“James.”

“Go away. Please.”

“Let me in, Mandy. We have things to talk about.”

“No, we don’t.”

The sound of a door chain sliding let him know his voice could be heard.

He leaned closer to the joint where the door met the doorjamb. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me, Mandy. I’m sure you don’t want to cause a scene in this swank hotel.”

The bolt clicked, and the door opened.

“Five minutes, James.”

Hastily rubbed splotches on her face told him she’d been crying. He tried to come up with the right words. Push too hard, and she’d run. Too soft, and he’d be wishy-washy.

“When we were talking in the restaurant,” he began, “I told you how much you mean to me, how much I’m willing to do to see if we can make things work. Remember?”

She nodded.

“I’ve changed. I can see how stupid it is to pass a chance for love by when it appears because of a damn plan—or fear.” He tilted her face up to his. “I think you’re afraid, Mandy. My work with your father is only an excuse. You don’t have a good example of love in your life. I’m sorry for that. But I do. I know what love takes, and I’m willing to give it to you. Every day in every way that I can.”

He kissed her, but kept it gentle. “Don’t you think we deserve a chance?”

She moved away from him and sat on the bed.

Had he blown it?

When she looked up, the tears had started again. “I am afraid, James. What if we don’t make it? What if I can’t get beyond my past? Dr. Graham says I’m not bipolar, but what if I turn out like my mother anyway? She … she … ” Mandy broke down into sobs of anguish.

He crossed the space between them, sat down, and put his arms around her. “Hush. It’ll be okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever again.”

If only he could erase her memories of the past.

“But you don’t know what she did.” Anguish howled from her voice.

“Tell me.”

“I can’t. It’s too embarrassing. And he touched me!” The wails began again.

This time he simply held her and let her cry it out.

He was going to track down whoever hurt her and beat him black and blue.

When her tears began to slow, he retrieved a warm washcloth from the bathroom, as well as several tissues from their holder.

She took them, cleaned up, and began to talk.

His gut wrenched as she told him about her mother and George Stubbins, and his heart ached for the little girl who’d never known her father.

After she finished, he hugged her. “I’ll tell you one thing. If I ever work with Beth Ann again, I’m going to tell her it’s a choice between me and Stubbins. I don’t want that SOB anywhere around me.”

“Won’t that interfere with your plan?” Her smile was small, but it was there.

“Honey, I told you. I will never let anyone hurt you again. My career will survive, but I’d never forgive myself if I put you in a position of having to deal with that man.”

The smile broadened a little more before it dimmed again. “But what if I hurt you, like Lola hurt Dana?”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe that’s going to happen, but you’ll never know if we don’t try. I’m in love with you, Mandy. If you walk away it’s going to break my heart.” He took a deep breath. “But I’m willing to take that chance. Will you?”

She gazed at him intently. “You’re a good man, James. I think that’s what frightens me most of all. I don’t know what to do with a good man. My mother certainly didn’t bring them home. As for my father…” She shrugged. Staring at him intensely, she continued. “I want to love you, James. I may already, but I’m afraid to admit it to myself. Can you give me a little more time?”

Would she slip away and never return?

He had to take the chance. “Of course.” He kissed her to seal the deal.

She pulled his head down to hers and returned his kiss—a little less gently.

He answered her gesture with renewed intention. Her mouth was soft and yielding under his. Women were amazing creatures—so soft in their features, but with an inner strength few men could match. He tasted her and lost himself in the passion of their connection.

She pressed into him.

He pulled her back onto the bed, shifting her so they were lying next to each other. Their kiss deepened, and their bodies strained against each other, his hardness impressing on her small but feminine frame. Her breasts flattened against his chest, their heat sending an electric charge that went to his groin.

He groaned and pulled away, but kept his hands on her arms. “I know this sounds strange coming from a guy, but I want to wait until you’re sure you love me. I don’t want you to have the slightest suspicion you’re like Lola. I know you love me, and when you’re ready to admit it to yourself, we can finish this.” He kissed her once more on the lips. “I’m going to leave now.”

She started to protest.

He put his finger on her lips. “I need to, for both of us. I’m going give you some time, but the day after Thanksgiving, I’m going to call you. If you say what I hope you’ll say, there will be a ticket for a flight to John Wayne Airport waiting for you in San Jose.”

He kissed her again. “I love you, Mandy. I pray you’ll find it in your heart to love me, too.”

He rose and left the room.

The door shut behind him with a tiny click.

The bright coastal sun cast no rays into Mandy’s dark mood as she drove north on Highway 1.

Love. Did he know what he was talking about? They’d spent a lot of work time together over the last few months, but didn’t it take lots of personal time to get to know someone? How could he ask her to give up everything she knew, all that was safe and familiar, and take the risk?

The Moss Landing smokestacks loomed silently above the fishing village. On an impulse she pulled into the state beach. She needed some way to clear her head.

The tangy ocean breeze swept the stale hotel air from her lungs. She wrapped her sweater more tightly around her. The nip of winter-to-come was in the breeze.

Could she give up the raw nature of northern beaches for the glossy sophistication of LA, with its wannabe actors and preening fashionistas?

It wouldn’t be the same at all.

But she’d moved to California without knowing anything except she had to get away from her mother. She’d managed in a culture as opposite from New Jersey as she could get. She’d found friends and a job. The strength was in her to do it again. This time she’d have James to help her. And Sally.

And her father.

Life depended on how she looked at it.

Mandy picked up a piece of beach glass. Blue. A rare color. Maybe an omen?

After pocketing the smooth glass, she walked to the estuary, hoping to see some of the playful otters she’d seen at the aquarium in the wild. Were they happier than their captive brethren? Did they even know what happy was? Or was their world entirely encompassed by life’s basic functions?

Wasn’t that what her life had become? Ordinarily, she barely made it from one paycheck to the next. The funds from the movies had made a big difference.

She spotted an otter floating on its back, a huge shell on its chest. The animal pounded the shell with a rock, a crude tool, but effective. Around his sleek-furred body, three seagulls floated, waiting for the bits of garbage that he would release after he completed his meal.

Was she the seagull or the otter?

Sally was offering her a chance to control her own destiny. It wouldn’t be easy running a movie catering business—the experience and her research had told her that. There would be long weeks away from her home and away from James. He’d also have long months away from home as a location manager.

How could they possibly make it work? And what if kids came along?

The otter flipped and dove down into the water. The seagulls scrambled for the crumbs he left behind.

“First comes love, then comes marriage…” The old nursery rhyme ran through her mind and she shook her head. Her biological clock must have ramped up.

If James was the man she thought he was, he’d be her partner in life. They’d figure out how to make it work. Together.

All she had to do was make a leap of faith.

• • •

“How was it?” Sarah asked Mandy the moment she walked in the door.

Sarah had Hannah in her arms. The baby gurgled and smiled when she saw Mandy. The click of nails on the floor announced Daisy’s arrival to greet her.

This was her family. How could she ever leave it?

“Let me hold her.” Mandy reached for Hannah, and Sarah handed her over.

“Let’s go into the kitchen where you can tell me all about the trip,” Sarah said. “You can keep me entertained while I nurse Hannah.”

“God you’re getting bossy,” Mandy muttered as she followed her friend.

“With all that’s going on, I have to be bossy. I can’t wait for other people to make decisions. They take too long.”

She put the kettle on the stove as Mandy lowered herself into a kitchen chair and played with Hannah. Nearly three months old, the child had developed a personality as sweet as her mother’s. Fortunately, the tendency to tell others what to do hadn’t manifested itself.

Yet.

Mandy giggled as she thought of the rows Sarah and Hannah were bound to have as time went on.

“What’s so funny?” Sarah leaned against the counter.

“I was imagining you and Hannah when she is about sixteen or so.”

Sarah frowned. “Don’t you lock teenagers in a closet or something?”

Mandy laughed. “I think you actually have to deal with them, although it’s rumored that tranquilizers and lots of wine help mothers endure the process.” She nuzzled Hannah’s nose with her own. “But you aren’t going to be like that, are you, missy Hannah?”

“I hope not.” The kettle whistled. Once Sarah completed the tea making duties, she sat down, took Hannah from Mandy, and prepared to nurse her. After she settled the baby at her breast, Sarah looked up. “Well, what happened?”

Mandy took a deep breath. “He said he loved me.”

“And?” Sarah’s face was full of joyful expectation.

“I have until Thanksgiving to make up my mind about what I’m going to do.”

Sarah shook her head. “You’re hopeless. Start from the beginning and tell me everything that happened.”

Amidst sips of tea and bites of cookies, Mandy told Sarah about the weekend, leaving out the passionate embrace in her hotel room.

“What are you going to do?” Sarah stuffed the rest of a cookie in her mouth.

“Panic?” Mandy laughed. “How are you and Hunter doing?”

The smile that lit Sarah’s face was nothing short of beaming. “The more his business grows, the happier he is. He’s fine with the inn, but he wants to be the provider. We’ve talked about finding a home of our own eventually and hiring a manager to help with the inn. I mean, I love the company, but privacy would be good, too. And—” She paused dramatically. “He submitted pictures of some of his smaller pieces to an upscale furnishings magazine, and they’re considering doing a feature on him!”

“That’s wonderful! How about your mother and Marcos?”

Sarah gave her a look that would one day quell Hannah’s bad behavior. “Enough avoidance. I think you do know what you want to do. You’re just scared to do it.”