California Dreaming: Four Contemporary Romances (103 page)

“Um.” She so did not want to be alone with this man in something as intimate as a small tent. A small tent with a bed. “How about the dining tent? The lights are still on.”

“As long as we can have a corner table, away from the gossiping crowds.”

She smiled, but concern tugged at the corners of her mouth. If she decided to go to Hollywood, and if she decided to date James, would she need to be worried about gossip? She was Dana and Lola’s daughter after all.

“What’s the matter?” James asked as they walked across the parking lot.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Hollywood gossip.”

“As long as you’re not a celebrity, it’s not that bad.”

They lucked out. No one else was in the dining tent. They sat down in the far corner of the tent, away from the entrance and any of the plastic windows. James uncorked the wine, and poured it into their glasses. He raised his glass and said, “Here’s to only one more week of shooting.”

“I’ll clink to that.” She’d enjoyed the job, but was tired of schlepping food for hundreds of miles, keeping squirrels and chipmunks off tables, and the lack of any place nearby to get a decent slice of pizza.

“This has been a hard location,” he said as if reading her thoughts. “Not every place is this remote. Your next job will be easier.”

She shook her head. “I still don’t think Hollywood is the right place for me. They may not gossip about you there, but I’ve got a load of baggage I’d be bringing with me.”

“Only if you bring it up. Most of what your parents did is ancient history. No one cares anymore.”

“But Dana’s important.”

James leaned back in his chair. “He’s also below the radar. He and his new wife lead a conservative lifestyle and keep out of the media as much as possible because of the girls.”

“How do you know that?”

“Sally’s known him a long time. I’d love to work with his company—it’s one of the best in town. I’ve tried to learn as much about him as I can.”

“Oh.” The idea of her father having a life beyond her pricked at her. It should have been
her
life.

James pulled a brown envelope out of his jacket pocket. “Sorry for the lame wrapping, but I got this for you when I was in the valley last week.”

She frowned. She wasn’t prepared for presents from James, but she took it from him, her fingers tentative in their grasp.

“Careful. It will break if you drop it.”

After she pulled the paper-wrapped object out of the bag, she unwrapped it. The interior light reflected off a glass oval containing pressed purple flowers. “A sun catcher! How beautiful!” She held it up to examine it more closely.

“They’re native to Yosemite. I figured a souvenir of your second movie would be nice. It reminded me of you: a pretty woman who brings sunshine into any room I’m in.”

“Thank you.” She looked up at him and smiled.

Their eyes locked on each other.

For a few moments they stared. She didn’t seem to be able to do anything else but examine his soul through his eyes, eyes without guile. Whatever this man was, wherever he lived, he’d never lie to her. He was simply incapable of it.

She didn’t know how she knew it, but she knew it in the marrow of her bones.

What would it be like to be with someone who wasn’t trying to manipulate her? Someone who’d be steady and consistent? A person she could count on to act pretty much the same way given the same situation?

Someone totally unlike her mother.

The possibility scared her to death.

She broke eye contact.

He covered her hand with his. “I’ve been giving my life plan a lot of thought.”

“And?”

“I realized it was my way of running from pain. Something, well, someone hurt me very badly a few years ago. I don’t want to talk about it yet, but when I saw you with Doug, and realized how angry I was—at myself mainly—that I might lose you to a man like him, I … ” He shrugged his shoulders.

“What’s wrong with Doug?”

James smiled. “He’s not me.”

“Oh. I see.”

“At the risk of sounding naive, I want to see where we could go together, even if you’re in Costanoa. I know long distance relationships are tough, but I believe we could make it work.” He smiled. “At the very least, I could show you a different side of LA.”

Relationship? What happened to just talking?

“Um. How would that work exactly?” She took a drink of wine. From the direction this conversation was headed, she was going to need more than a sip. She looked at his hand on hers, but didn’t pull hers away.

He rubbed his thumb on her skin. “I’d come up there once a month. It’s only an hour flight. We’d plan something fun and get to know each other.”

“Once a month isn’t going to work, James. We’d barely get to know each other’s favorite ice cream flavors.” She slipped her hand out from under his.

He plunked his elbows on the table and raked his hands through his hair. “Maybe you could come down once a month as well.”

She laughed. “I can barely afford to live. I can’t afford round-trip tickets from San Jose to LA once a month.”

“Got it.” He sat up. “We’ll figure something out.” He frowned. “Unless you are still adamant that there’s nothing between us.”

In spite of her resistance, a warm glow flared inside her. He wanted to be with her and he was willing to make an effort. She couldn’t honestly tell him there was nothing between them. She knew she was falling for him. Hard. Still, it paid to be cautious when thinking about turning a life upside down.

“What changed your mind? You were hell-bent on your life plan, and now?” She fingered the sun catcher.

He took another sip of wine. “I think to answer that, you need to understand why I had a life plan in the first place.”

She studied him and caught a flash of pain in his eyes. “Okay.” She put her hand on his wrist, the only way she knew how to reassure him.

“Mateo and I were best friends in grade school and all through high school. We both went to UCLA. While we were there Mateo became involved with the military and decided to enlist when he was done with college.” James shrugged. “His family had a long history in the military. They were very proud of him.”

A slight hitch in his voice made Mandy aware deep emotions lay under the surface.

“While he was away at basic training,” James continued, “I met Theresa. I fell for her. I thought she felt the same way.” He stared into his wine as he swirled it around in the glass. “But when Mateo came back, he swept her off her feet. Their love was so intense, I knew I didn’t stand a chance.” He looked up at her and smiled a brief, bitter smile. “I guess you could say it put crimp in our friendship.”

Pain radiated from him in waves.

She placed her hand on his. “What happened?”

“They got married before he shipped overseas. I stood up for him, because he’d been my best friend all my life, but it was the hardest thing I’d ever done.” He swallowed. “Six months later their baby was born.” He looked up at her.

She sensed he was about to say something else, but he remained quiet.

Anguish etched his face.

“After the wedding, I decided I’d never let my life be ruled by emotions again. I’d stay in control. Career first. Family second. LA is full of women who will do a successful man’s bidding. All I had to do was become a successful man.” He took a deep breath. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of producing. It’s what I’ve wanted to do since I understood what the position can bring to the community. The ability to get movies made, important movies with a message, or just a feel-good movie without violence. That’s what I want to create. But I knew I had to pay my dues first. My family wasn’t in the business. I’d have to make my own way.”

He stopped talking.

Mandy let the silence linger for a few moments before she asked, “What happened to Mateo?”

James looked at the tent ceiling for a moment, then brought his gaze to hers. “He was killed a year ago in the Middle East. Theresa was devastated.”

James swallowed repeatedly, forcing back the tears she could see shining in his eyes.

She held his hand and waited.

He swallowed again. “I see Ruiz now and then, for Mateo’s sake.” James looked at Mandy. “He’s only five.”

How devastated James must have been. No wonder he kept women at arm’s length. Theresa had betrayed him as much as her father had betrayed her mother.

Except, she was beginning to wonder if she knew the whole story of her parents. Based on what James and Sally had told her, Dana Russell was a good man. She’d have to probe the strands of Lola’s story and see if they stayed together.

She drew her attention back to James.

He turned Mandy’s hand over and traced a circle in her palm. “You’re the first woman I’ve ever told that story to. I guess it feels safe because you’ve been open with me about the craziness of your past.” He looked at her and grinned. “And I’ve met your mother.”

Mandy laughed, and some of the room’s tension splintered into the night. “There is that.”

He chuckled. “Yes, there is that.” He continued to trace the circle. “When I realized I would be able to tell you that story, I knew you had gotten past my defenses.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how you did it, but every time I had something I wanted to think out, I wanted to do it with you. Unfortunately, with our schedules, there hasn’t been much time for that.”

“No, there hasn’t.”

“When I finally put two and two together, I realized the plan was stupid. I mean, it’s good to have goals, and know where you’re going, but if there’s no one to share it with, life is pretty empty. I’m ready to take a chance again. What do you think? Can we see if this thing has legs?”

She shook her head ruefully. “I’d like that, but the logistics seem impossible.”

He leaned back. “The Irish have a saying about steeple chasing—you know where the horses jump fences as quickly as they can? They say, ‘Throw your heart over the fence and the horse will follow.’ How about we follow our hearts and see where it leads?”

Was she willing to take that risk? What if he broke her heart?

What if he didn’t?

“I’d like that,” she said.

He pushed the cork back into the wine bottle, picked up their glasses, and stood. “Let’s get out of this fishbowl.” He clasped her hand and led her out of the tent.

Instead of turning toward the tent cabins, he turned down the path toward one of the trails to the meadows. They went a short way and then he stepped off the path, pulling her with him.

After placing the glasses and bottle on a nearby rock, he turned her to him. “I think I could love you, Mandy Parker.”

Her heart stilled, and her eyes teared. She wanted this chance at love as much as he did.

He lowered his head and took her lips in a kiss.

• • •

“You can stop mooning any time,” Sally said to Mandy as she slapped French toast into the frying pan. “I see the man finally got to you.”

“Who?” Mandy put as much innocence in her voice as possible.

Sally laughed. “You know who. I told you to be careful, didn’t I? You don’t want Hollywood, and he’s a man with a plan that doesn’t include relationships.”

“I’m not going to Hollywood.”
At least not yet.

“Then where do you expect this is going to end?”

This hiss of coffee finishing drew Mandy’s attention. She grabbed two cups and poured. “He says he’ll come and see me.”

“Really?” Sally flipped the toast. “Unrealistic, but interesting. What about the plan?”

“I thought a commuting relationship was strange, too.” The bitter taste of coffee erased the sweetness of James’s kiss from Mandy’s lips. “But it was more than he was offering before.” She grinned. “And he’s reconsidering his plan.”

“Really?”

Mandy pulled out serving trays and covers. She dumped scrambled eggs in one while Sally placed the French toast in the other. Covers on, they went back to their stoves.

“So James is changing, but you’re stuck. Seems to me,” Sally said, “you’re being stubborn for no real reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your parents fell apart in Hollywood because of who they were, not because of Hollywood itself.”

“I’m sure the industry didn’t help.”

“No, it didn’t. Your marriage has to be very strong to survive the constant temptation and physical contact. I mean, there’s no other industry where kissing, or even being naked, with a stranger is part of the job. I think I read once the Hollywood divorce rate is seventy percent—in the same range as law enforcement.” Sally shrugged. “It all depends on what you want, and what you’re willing to do for it.”

Mandy stirred a second batch of eggs vigorously. Was Sally right? Probably. She’d been around long enough to have a broader perspective. Was James capable of having a long-lasting relationship? It sounded like he had a good example from his parents.

But what about her? She longed for the white-picket-fence kind of life, but would she be able to make the sacrifices necessary? If she fell in love with James, would she be able to make the move to Southern California?

Fell in love. Who was she kidding? She was already halfway there.

What had it been like when her parents were young and in love?

“You know Dana, don’t you?” she asked Sally.

“Yeah. He gave me my first job.”

“How long ago was that? Was Lola still around?”

Sally nodded and started another batch of toast. “Dana worshiped your mother.”

“When did things go bad? What did Dana do?” Mandy hesitated, unsure how far to go, but she needed an answer. “Did he cheat on her?”

Sally stood straight. “Look at me. No matter what Lola told you, Dana never cheated on her. Ever.” An edge iced her voice.

Mandy searched Sally’s eyes. No guile. No pretense. Lola had lied. Bile rose in her throat. She’d built her life on a lie, and she had no idea how to change it.

Sally nodded. She took a bag of parsley from the refrigerator. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”
Ready and grateful for the reprieve.

They began to schlep the food to the dining tent, where the crew and some of the actors were already gathered, milking the coffee from the urns.