Authors: Jordan Silver
I gave her the rest of the afternoon to gather her thoughts; couldn't rush things, but at least I know some of what's going on in her head. Damaged goods, I'd like to meet that ex of hers and kick the shit out of him.
She was humming under her breath as she puttered around in the kitchen. I'd been in and out all day since bringing her back to fix the jackasses their lunch.
I'd tried having a stern talk with them about expecting her to cook all their meals, but they'd just looked at me like I was nuts and kept stuffing their faces with the fried chicken and cornbread she'd rustled up for them.
Not even my grumbled threats did much good, so I'd decided to give it up for now and enjoy her offerings.
My girl could cook her ass off and that’s a fact. They'd barely been through with lunch, when they started making noises about ‘what's for dinner?’ the greedy asses. That's when I'd finally kicked them out.
Now I'm slinking around my office looking for shit to keep me busy so I could be near her. I’m pretty sure that everyone knew the real reason I was hanging around, and it wasn’t because I was afraid her ex would show up here.
Their fuck stupid grins as they donned their hats and bid her goodbye, told me that they knew damn good and well that I was acting like a lovesick puppy.
That kiss had only just whet my appetite and I was biding my time until I could steal another one, but I'm a grown man with a little control. Yeah right! I was starting to see the appeal of the caveman approach. Knock her over the head and drag her off to my bed.
I knew damn well I couldn't just pounce on her though, too soon. And now, after that heart wrenching assessment of her-self, I know I have to work on her mind before I can get to her body.
I don't want her thinking those things about herself, no woman that has ever lived through that shit should look at herself in that way.
I didn’t know how or when, but I was pretty certain that her ex and I were headed for a day of reckoning. I was also giving serious thought to burying one Cecily Crane in a fucking ditch.
I fooled around with the stuff on my desk, as my mind wandered to ways I could bring her out of her shell, get her to see the beautiful woman that I saw every time I looked at her.
There was a lot to think about here not least of all was the fact that I’d met her only twenty-four hours ago. If not for her past I would’ve worked my magic already and we would’ve had the morning after.
But because of the deadbeat asshole who obviously didn’t know the first thing about women, I had to play it easy. That’s one more reason to put a foot in his ass, the dumb fuck.
I dropped down in my chair and rested my head back. I haven’t bought a woman flowers since I bought Lisa Summers a corsage for prom.
The type of women who follow the circuits, with a few exceptions, aren’t given to roses and shit, so it was never needed.
Come to think of it, I can’t tell you the last time I took a woman out on a date, or spent more than ten minutes with one outside of bed.
I’m sure those demented fucks running around my land had some pointers since they were always on the prowl, but I’d be fucked if I’d ask them shit.
I got a big sappy grin on my face as the first part of my campaign came to mind. If I was going to build her up and show her how worthy and beautiful she was she was gonna need more than me pawing at her.
Nothing too extravagant to start off with, didn't want to scare her off and something tells me my little filly is pretty skittish about certain things.
I'll take things nice and slow no matter how much my cock wanted to come out and play.
"Patience boy, patience."
Great, now I'm talking to my dick.
***
AMANDA
Wow, that was some kiss; I still blush each time I think of it. I don't remember a kiss ever making me feel that way before.
It had been soft and hard at the same time if that makes any sense, and with his body pressed so close to mine I'd felt his hardness pressed against me.
I'm almost ashamed to say I wish he'd just taken me to the ground in those wildflowers like some old movie hero and had his way with me.
Why couldn’t I have met someone like him before I got tangled up with...? No, I’m not going to think about him here. I’m going to do all that I can, not to let him intrude in this place.
I wonder what might’ve happened had we not been interrupted, and was a whole lot surprised to realize I wouldn’t have minded one bit if he had taken me down in the wildflowers, just for more of his intoxicating kisses you understand.
It wasn’t long before I was coming back to reality though, and I felt the bitter disappointment spread in my chest as I deflated like an old worn out balloon.
Maybe it's for the best that he hadn't gone any farther, because like I'd told him, I'm damaged goods. I have the scars that Lance left as a reminder for a lifetime.
A reminder of who I was and what I was, nothing, a nobody; something to be mistreated and despised.
I felt the old sting of tears as I stood at the kitchen sink looking out at the vast land that went on forever.
Caleb was somewhere in the house, but he'd been quiet for hours, so he wouldn't witness my shameful display.
I let the tears fall. For the first time in I don't know how long, I allowed myself to cry for me. For the girl that I'd wanted to be, the one that was now lost forever.
I cried silent tears of remorse and regret, my heart long dead, ached as the pain from all that I'd endured enveloped me.
Was there ever any answer to that age-old question, why me? Who decided these things anyway, and how were we chosen? Us women who suffered at the hands of monsters while others seemed so cherished by real men.
I hate feeling sorry for myself, not even when I was going through it, did I allow myself the luxury. But now, in this beautiful place, it seemed like all I wanted to do. Maybe because I’d never seen what could’ve been before now!
Maybe because no one else had ever made me want more, because this was the first time my past really stood in the way of my present.
I almost buckled under the weight of it. I went through the gamut of emotions standing there at that sink looking out into the sunshine.
Self-loathing, anger, fear, hatred for Lance, everything that I'd pushed away and tamped down all these years, was suddenly there before me and all because of a kiss.
I held onto the sink for support as my knees started to give way. Blinded by tears and almost numb from the pain, I felt a coldness seep through me until warm, strong arms pulled me to a solid chest. It was only then that I realized I'd been wailing out loud.
CALEB
Fuck, shit! I heard her wailing from my office. At first I wasn't so sure of what I was hearing. I thought maybe one of the calves had broken through the fence somehow, and made it all the way up to the house.
But then she'd gotten louder and I knew. My heart fucking stopped and I flew out of my chair where I'd been sitting thinking up ways to court her properly.
My first thoughts were of her ex, and how the fuck he’d gotten the drop on us. I didn’t have time to grab my gun as I ran towards her with my heart in my neck.
The scene I came upon in the kitchen will haunt me for a long-long time, it brought me up short for a split second. She was bent over double, barely clinging on to the sink. Her poor little body swayed as she wailed in long heart wrenching moans that tore my fucking heart out.
I did the only thing I could. Rushing over to her, I grabbed her and pulled her in tight against me, sharing my warmth and my strength with her the best I could.
"I've got you little darling you go on and cry." I whispered the words softly in her ear so as not to spook her. Her body shook with each sob as she clung to me, her little fists holding on tight to the back of my shirt.
I felt tears sting my eyes at the pain in her voice. For the past few hours I'd been hoping and praying that her ex never got a whiff of where she was hiding out.
Now I wish the son of a bitch does find my place. In fact, I'm gonna start digging a hole because the fucker won't make it off my land when and if he ever shows up here.
Mikey ran into the house at a dead run, but I shook my head at him. He knew, he understood, because I'd told them what had brought her here.
The young man who I always forgot was little more than a child himself, looked close to tears as he folded his fists and walked back the way he came with his head down. Yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt, helpless.
I don't know how long we stood there, me holding her while she cried her heart out, but when she was done her body just sagged against mine, she'd tired herself out.
"Okay now sweetheart I'm gonna take you to your room. I want you to rest for the rest of the day, don't worry about anything else just rest okay." She didn’t say a word or utter a sound.
Poor little thing she’d used up all she had it looked like.
I picked her up and carried her upstairs, all the while wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. I laid her down on her bed and pulled the sheet up over her and still she said nothing.
There was a glassy look to her eyes that I didn’t much like, but there wasn’t much I could do; it was going to take time.
I sat on the side of her bed running my hand soothingly over her hair as her breath hitched and a stray tear would escape. When she took one last deep sigh and I saw her body relax, I knew she was out.
Still I sat there for the longest time just watching and thinking. I had a decision to make. The thoughts that were running through my head weren’t the thoughts of a stranger who’d just met her, but those of a man who’d found his woman, his other half.
When you spent your life in dangerous situations such as I have almost everyday of my adult life before I retired, you learned to make life-altering decisions quick. I think I just made the biggest one of my life, but first things first.
I pulled her door almost but not quite closed and headed down the stairs and out the back door. The guys were already gathered in the backyard looking up towards the house, just where I expected them to be.
I was finally able to let my inner fury show as I walked towards them.
"How do I get to that motherfucker without letting him get close to her?" I looked at the Scrantons because I knew they would know.
"Say the word and he's dust." Adrian never stopped looking up at the house. I could tell from the look on his face that he was using great restraint.
"No, I want his blood on my hands, it’s mine to do, how?"
Simon took a deep breath before answering me. "If we do this we do this right, no fuck ups and no way for it to come back; you sure you want to do this? Your brother's the sheriff."
"Did you fucking hear her?" Calm down Caleb, these men are not the enemy.
"Alright then, first we plan."
"Body." That's the only thing Mark said, just one word but I understood.
"We have lime." Nathan was on board, but I knew they all would be. It’s not like we do this shit every day, but there’s a reason I surround myself with like-minded men. We understand each other.
"Acid's better, then we crush what's left of the bones if anything, then we use the lime." Adrian was serious as a judge as he said this, as though we were discussing the weather.
"How're we gonna get the fucker here?" Mikey looked like he'd shed a few after all and I didn't even bother asking the rest of my crew how they'd gotten here so fast, or why none of them were trying to stop me from doing what I was about to do.
"That's the planning part, we have to do it in a way so that the fucker gets here but doesn't know she's here." Simon rolled a cigarette, the first he'd had in weeks I think.
"I don't want her to even see his ass.” We discussed ways and means until I felt I’d been away for too long.
“I better get back inside, I don't want to leave her alone too long. I'll rustle up something for dinner and then we'll talk later after she goes to sleep tonight."
They each nodded their heads, before going back to their jobs, after giving the house one last look. For the first time since I left the ring I really missed it. I was torn between wrangling with Brutus and going back to her, she won of course.
I moved slowly as I entered the kitchen, my mind which an hour ago was thinking about what kind of flowers to order her first, was now filled with ways of killing her asshole ex slowly.
The guys checked in one by one as the afternoon wore on and she still slept.
That's the kind of woman she was. She invoked that kind of care in such a short time, because everyone who met her saw the beautiful creature that she was.
Why her asshole ex had tried to snuff that out was a mystery, one that I didn't really give a fuck about. All I cared about right now was ending him and making sure that she was safe always.