PART THREE
A Breath of Promise
“
A
re ye armed
?” Phillip asked as he wrapped an arm around her waist and tapped the flanks of his horse.
Fiona turned her head slightly to look him in the eye. “I be
always
armed,” she reminded him, her words clipped and sharp. Her sword was within reach.
One
sgian dubh
was carefully hidden in her left sleeve while two more were strapped to her thighs. Though she could very well have threatened Phillip with his life if he didn’t stop and let her down, the person toward whom she really wished to vent her anger was riding ahead of them.
“Can I have yer word ye will no’ gut me?” he asked as they galloped across the yard.
“I may no’ gut
ye,
but as fer Caelen?” Nay, she couldn’t make that promise.
“I be sorry fer this, Fiona,” Phillip said. He did sound remorseful as well as a wee fearful. They were racing toward the gate.
“He loves ye, Fiona. Ye canna gut a man that loves ye.”
She might not gut him completely, but she couldn’t necessarily promise she wouldn’t make a few pointed cuts here and there.
“Where are ye takin’ me?” she demanded.
Phillip remained silent as they followed Caelen, Brodie and a dozen other men through the gate. Another dozen McDunnah men brought up the rear. The ground thundered with the reverberation of dozens of horses galloping across the land.
“Has he lost his mind?” Fiona asked through gritted teeth.
“Aye, I be afraid he has.”
She continued to seethe while she watched Caelen tear across the countryside like a madman.
When I get me hands on that man…
Though she could not blame Caelen for being angry, that was no reason for him to kidnap her like this. ’Twas too ridiculous for words. ’Twas all anyone needed to prove the man was completely and unequivocally insane. Just what he thought to gain by this act of madness was beyond her.
“Where on earth are we goin’?” she asked, growing angrier and angrier.
Phillip turned mute again and urging their mount to go faster. The farther they rode from her keep the more infuriated she became. She already knew Caelen loved her and he knew that she knew. What then was the purpose of interrupting the wedding ceremony and stealing her away like this? Several long moments passed and she began to realize they were heading for McDunnah lands. More likely than not, Caelen’s keep.
No’ bloody likely.
Carefully, Fiona removed the
sgian dubh
from her sleeve. Once she had a firm grip on it, she slowly turned as best she could to face Phillip. “Ye will stop this horse at once.”
Phillip ignored her.
“I give ye one more chance, Phillip,” she warned him as she placed the blade of the
sgian dubh
against his throat.
“Bloody hell,” he murmured. “Put that away.”
“No’ bloody likely,” she smiled up at him. “Stop this horse
now.
”
Phillip’s nostrils flared as his face turned red with anger. A moment later, he pulled rein. “He will kill me fer this.”
Fiona knew as well as Phillip did that Caelen wouldn’t truly take his life. Once the horse came to a halt, Fiona tossed her leg over and slid down. Phillip followed her.
The men who had been following them pulled up as well, all of them looking utterly baffled. One of them asked, “Why did ye stop?” Before Phillip could answer, the young man spotted the
sgian dubh
in Fiona’s hand.
“Ye didna search her first?” he asked.
Phillip rolled his eyes. “Would
ye
like to search her?” he ground out. The color left the young man’s face. “What should we do?”
Phillip raked a hand across his face as he watched Fiona begin to pace back and forth. “We wait until our insane chief realizes we have stopped.”
The men remained mounted and they, too, began to watch Fiona pace back and forth.
They had travelled far enough that she could barely make out her keep in the distance. ’Twas not too far a distance to walk if she had to. In the opposite direction, Caelen and the others were still heading toward McDunnah lands. She stopped pacing and turned to face Phillip. “What on earth possessed him to do this?”
Phillip’s face bore the expression of a man thin on patience. “To stop ye from marryin’. I tried to get into the keep to talk to ye’ but they would no’ let me in.”
Fiona scoffed at his remark. “By ‘talk’ ye mean delay the weddin’ until he could get here?”
He made no attempt to lie. “Aye, to do just that.”
She muttered a curse under her breath. None of them had been made aware of the change in brides. That knowledge helped assuage some of her anger, but not all of it. Taking a deep breath she let it out slowly. “I was no’ marryin’ Bhruic.”
Phillip raised a doubtful brow. “Ye were at the altar.”
“Aye, but I was no’ the bride. I was givin’ the bride away.”
His doubtful brow fell, his confusion quite evident. “What?”
“That be right,” she said as understanding began to spread across his face. “Yer foolish, tetched, pigheaded leader did no’ stop me from marryin’ this day. I was merely givin’ the bride away.”
“But the banns were posted,” Phillip mumbled.
“And I changed me mind.”
“But why?” he stammered as he tried to make sense of it.
There were many reasons why she had chosen not to marry Bhruic. But she’d be damned to hell for eternity before she shared them with Phillip.
The sound of hoof beats heading toward them drew her attention. ’Twas Caelen. He’d finally realized they were no longer behind them.
“Phillip,” Fiona said as she took one step back. “I would greatly appreciate it if ye’d allow me to explain everythin’ to Caelen.”
Phillip needed no coaxing on the matter.
As Caelen drew nearer Fiona could see the fury in his eyes. He didn’t even wait for his horse to come to a complete stop before he slid down and thundered toward her.
Fiona drew her sword. “Halt!” she demanded.
“We’ll no’ be playin’ games this day, Fiona,” he warned. He stopped with the tip of her sword touching his chest. “I be no’ in the mood fer it.”
“Ye will stop actin’ like a fool and listen to me, Caelen McDunnah.”
There was no denying his fury. His brown eyes were so dark they were nearly black, his face as red as a beet, and the vein in his neck throbbed as fast as her heart was beating against her chest.
She spied Brodie then. “I see ye can ride again, brother.”
Brodie cleared his throat and looked like a child caught stealing sweet cakes. “Do no’ kill him, Fi,” he said.
“I’ll no kill him if he agrees that we will discuss this like two, intelligent adults,” she said, directing her statement directly at Caelen. “No more tossin’ me on a horse and carryin’ me away. Do ye understand?”
His nostrils flared and his eyes turned to slits.
“Why were ye goin’ to marry that MacKinnon?” he asked. His voice was low, almost a growl. The men around them began to scatter, to give them their privacy. Fiona noted, however, that they did not go far. They probably worried that she would gut him if provoked.
“We were attacked again. This time they killed a man and his wife and left their two young children orphans,” she told him. “I had verra few options.”
“I would have protected ye,” he growled.
“By marryin’ Bhruic, I could remain chief and gain one hundred MacKinnon men, fightin’ men and Clan MacKinnon as our ally. Clan McPherson would remain Clan McPherson,” she told him.
She didn’t think it possible, but he grew even angrier. “I could have given ye ten times that many men,” he said through gritted teeth.
’Twas a conversation they had had before. Her head began to pound from the frustration. “Aye, and Clan McPherson would have been lost and I would have broken me vows and me oath.” Why was it so difficult for him to understand?
“I love ye, Fiona. Why can ye no’ see that?” he asked, his voice sounding less harsh and angry. Instead he sounded like a man in pain.
“I ken that ye love me,” she said in a soft voice. “And ye ken that I love ye. But I had no other choices, Caelen.”
Her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of horses. Fiona turned to see William, Collin and five of her men rapidly approaching. As she waited, she pondered on whether or not she should tell Caelen the truth— that she wasn’t the bride this day. Turning around, she saw the pain and anger in his eyes. She hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, to hurt him. She was about to confess when he stepped forward.
“Ye love bein’ chief more than ye love me,” he said with an accusatory tone, the anger returning again.
His accusation infuriated her, causing her good will to evaporate in the blink of an eye. How dare he suggest such a thing? “Would ye have given up bein’ chief to be with me? Would ye have allowed Clan McDunnah to become Clan McPherson?”
His expression told her that he thought her quite mad to even suggest such a thing. It stung. Why should she be the one to make all the sacrifices so they could be together?
“Ye can take yer accusation and stick it up —”
Collin called out her name as he and the others pulled their horses to a stop.
“Caelen!” Collin said as he approached. “I be glad to see she has no’ killed ye.”
I be about to do just that,
Fiona fumed silently as she stared at Caelen.
“Fiona, ’tis done,” Collin said as he stood next to her.
Before she could utter a word, Caelen asked, “What be done?”
“The weddin’,” Collin said with a smile. “Bhruic and Alyse be married now.”
A tumult of emotions flashed across Caelen’s face. Confusion turned to understanding and then to sheer unadulterated anger, then to something she could not quite describe. All she knew was that she should probably protect herself.
Before she could raise her sword again, Caelen grabbed her wrist. “When were ye plannin’ on tellin’ me that?”
Suddenly she felt quite certain that this must be what a rabbit feels like when caught in a snare. She stammered for a few moments before she managed to say, “I was gettin’ to that when ye accused me of lovin’ bein’ chief more than lovin’ ye.”
He cocked his head to one side and studied her closely. All at once she began to feel quite uncomfortable under such close scrutiny.
“So ye be no’ marryin’ this day?” he asked.
Straightening her shoulders and lifting her chin, she replied, “This day? Nay, no’ this day.”
Caelen took one step closer, refusing to let go of her wrist. “Why did ye no’ marry him?”
There were too many eyes upon her to answer as honestly as either of them would have liked. “I had me reasons.”
“Fiona, why did ye no’ marry him?” he asked again in a much lower voice, but it was still quite demanding.
“I had me reasons and that be all ye need to ken at the moment, Caelen McDunnah,” she told him.
William’s deep growl of frustration startled her. She had not heard him dismount or approach and now he was standing behind her. “Ye both are tetched!”
Taking advantage of the opportunity his distraction offered, Fiona freed herself from Caelen’s grasp.
“I be nowhere near as tetched as he is,” Fiona said with a nod toward Caelen.
William rolled his eyes and shook his head. “As far as I be concerned yer both tetched and deservin’ of each other. I do no’ see why do ye no’ just marry him.”
Now who is tetched?
she thought as she looked at her brother. “I canna break me vows or oaths,” she reminded him. “I canna allow Clan McPherson to fall.”
“It does no’ have to fall,” William said.
“If I marry Caelen, our clan will be absorbed into his.” She began to wonder why she’d ever thought of William as the more intelligent of her three brothers.
“Only if yer chief,” William said. His eyes went from Fiona to Caelen then back to Fiona. She was at a loss as to what he was thinking.
William took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh of frustration. “Fiona, if ye were to die on the morrow, what happens?”
She was completely lost and not tracking his line of thinking.
“Who becomes chief?” William asked, hopeful that she’d finally follow his line of thinking.
“Collin,” she answered, still uncertain what this had to do with anything.
“Right!” he said happily.
“I do no’ ken what yer gettin’ at, William,” she told him.
William shook his head again. “If ye were no’ chief, would ye marry Caelen?”
She didn’t want to answer
too
quickly for she didn’t want Caelen’s head to get too big for his shoulders. “Possibly.”
Caelen grunted his disproval of her answer. He mumbled something that sounded remarkably similar to ‘liar’.
“Ye would marry him,” William said. “And if ye were to die tomorrow, Collin becomes chief.”
Collin seemed to understand suddenly where his brother was going. “William, are ye suggestin’ Fiona give up the chiefdom?”
A smile erupted on William’s face. “Exactly!”
’Twas then that clarity dawned. Was William serious? Was he truly suggesting that she give up the chiefdom, hand it all over to Collin, so that she could marry Caelen? Her mind reeled and she began to feel lightheaded.
“Well?” Caelen chose that moment to speak.
Fiona’s eyes flittered between her brothers and Caelen.
Could she really do that? Give up her position as chief to marry the slightly tetched man with the hopeful expression written on his face?
Oh good Lord.
O
nly moments
ago Fiona McPherson had been angry enough to bite through her sword over Caelen’s accusation that she loved being chief more than she loved him. Now, she was presented an opportunity that would allow her to be with Caelen McDunnah as his wife, her clan would remain intact and they’d have hundreds, if not thousands of fighting men at her disposal.
Wasn’t that what she wanted? Her clan to be safe and whole? To be with Caelen as his wife? ’Twas too much to take in all at once. This was not a decision to be made lightly.
The last two years seemed to flash before her eyes bringing with them endless questions. Did Collin truly wish to be chief? Would her people allow a McCray to lead them? If he were chief, would he continue to train the women?
And what of Caelen? Would he expect her to be subservient to him? Would she be expected to be nothing more than an ornament on his arm, to keep her thoughts and opinions to herself? She’d been chief of Clan McPherson for far too long to give up her independent and blunt nature.
All at once she began to feel as though she were in the middle of the ocean doing her best to keep her head above water. ’Twas a terrifying sensation that left her lightheaded.
Caelen was standing before her, his dark brown eyes twinkling with hope and anticipation. She suddenly found herself mute, overwhelmed with all the possibilities that now lay at her feet.
Caelen’s eyes never left hers as he spoke over his shoulder to the men that surrounded them. “Leave us.”
The men scattered like dead leaves in the wind.
W
illiam’s suggestion
made Caelen’s heart nearly leap from his chest. Finally, he and Fiona were given choices. A way for them to be together without her breaking her vow.
He had expected her to answer with a gleeful and resounding ‘aye’, for the prospect of having her as his wife made him exceedingly happy. The longer she remained mute, staring up at him as if he were a terrifying apparition, the more he began to doubt that she truly loved him.
If she had loved him as much as he thought she had, she would have jumped into his arms and smothered him with kisses.
Instead, she stood mute and looked quite terrified. Was it the prospect of being his wife that made her reluctant to say ‘aye’, or something more?
After sending the men away, he took an apprehensive step forward. “What holds ye back from sayin’ ye’ll be me wife?” he asked softly. Holding his breath, he waited for her answer.
“I want to be with ye, Caelen, but this be no’ an easy decision to make.”
He let out the breath he had been holding, feeling dejected and miserable. “Then ye do no’ love me as much as ye said ye did. No’ as much as I believed.”
Fiona placed a hand on his arm. “I do love ye, Caelen,” she said. “’Tis why I could no’ marry Bhruic MacKinnon. I could no’ imagine spendin’ the rest of me life with anyone else but ye.”
He searched her eyes for something, any glimmer of hope that would make his heart start beating once again. “But no’ enough to give up bein’ chief,” he said as he turned away. He couldn’t bear to look at her whilst she tore his heart from his chest again.
“Nay, that be no’ true either,” she said in a soft voice. “I do love ye more than bein’ chief. But ’tis no’ a simple thing to do. I only have questions, Caelen.”
He glanced over his shoulder at her and shook his head. “There should be no questions. ’Tis either aye or nay, Fiona.”
He heard her scoff at his back. “Is it truly?” she asked with more than just a hint of sarcasm and frustration. “Tell me then, Caelen, if I were to ask ye to give up bein’ chief of yer clan, would ye say ‘aye’ without a moment’s hesitation or without questions?”
He spun around to look at her, so that she could see the depths of his own frustration. “I would.”
F
iona could not have been more
surprised had he hit her over the head with his sword. Certainly he was not being completely truthful.
“I was takin’ ye back to me keep to discuss just that,” he told her. “I have no children, no heirs of me own. If anythin’ were to happen to me, Kenneth becomes chief. I was ready to appoint him chief of Clan McDunnah to be with ye.”
Her mouth nearly hit the ground. “Ye jest.”
He shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Nay, I do no’. If the only way to be with ye is to give up bein’ chief, I was fully prepared to do just that. And there has never and would never be a woman to grace God’s earth to make me even contemplate such a thing.”
His genuine sincerity was unmistakable. Fiona could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice and felt it in the way her heart pounded against her breast. He was telling the truth. He was ready to give up everything to be with her.
The joy at learning it was overwhelming and uncontainable. Tears pooled instantly as she closed the space between them and flung herself into his arms.
She hadn’t realized until he said it, that he’d give up everything to be with her, that
that
was what she needed to hear to push her over that fine line she’d been teetering on. All she needed to know was that he was willing to sacrifice to be with her. Why that was so important to her heart she could not fathom, but it was.
“Aye!” she exclaimed as she planted kisses over his cheeks. “I’ll marry ye!”
She could feel the weight of his frustration melt away as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. Excited, relieved, she continued to plant one happy kiss after another over his cheeks and forehead and even managed one on the tip of his nose.
“Are ye certain?” he asked as if he did not believe the moment was real.
Fiona pulled away to look him in the eye. ’Twould have taken a team of horses to pull the smile from her face. “Aye, I be certain,” she said before quickly adding, “but there will be conditions.”
Caelen quirked a brow slightly. “Conditions?”
Fiona nodded her head. “Aye. Fer one, I’ll no’ be some meek, subservient wife who never speaks her mind or keeps her opinions to herself.”
“I can live with that,” he said with a smile.
“And I’ll no’ give up me swords or knives.”
“I’d never think to ask such of ye,” he said as he placed a tender kiss on her lips.
Her breath hitched ever so slightly when his lips touched hers. She was on to him then. He had probably already come to the realization that he could disarm her with his lips alone. She continued with the list of her demands. “Ye’ll never take a mistress and ye’ll never raise yer hand to me in anger.”
“I’m no’ quite as tetched as people claim me to be. I ken that ’twere I ever to even think of takin’ a mistress ye’d gut me without question. As fer raisin’ an angry hand to ye? I’ve seen what ye can do with knives and I be wantin’ no part of that,” he chuckled before placing another tender kiss on her lips.
“As long as we be in agreement,” she told him playfully before resting her head against his chest. Some of her demands were of an intimate nature and she could not look him full on while making them. “Please promise me, Caelen, that if ever I disappoint ye, ye will no’ quit comin’ to me bed.” ’Twas a combination of prayer and plea. The thought of Caelen never coming to her bed made her heart ache. ’Twas a humiliation she had suffered through once before, with James, and one she never wanted to repeat.
“I do no’ plan on us havin’ separate chambers, Fiona. I plan on fallin’ asleep in yer arms each night and wakin’ in them each morn,” he said then placed a kiss on the top of her head.
The weight of the world that had been resting on her shoulders began to lift. She didn’t want to simply be his wife. She wanted to be his partner, his friend and his only lover.
“I do have one request, Caelen,” she said as she pulled away to look at him. He looked tired but relieved, worn out but happy. What torment had he suffered these past many days? “I would like to remain here, after we marry, until we learn who is behind these attacks and murders. After that, we will go to yer keep and live out the rest of our days.”
His brow raised ever so slightly. “So ye will be the one to give up yer chiefdom?”
“Aye,” she said with a nod. “’Twas enough fer me just knowin’ ye were ready to give up all to be with me. Yer clan needs ye, Caelen. Ye’ve been chief far longer than I. Collin will be a good and just leader and he’ll no’ let Clan McPherson fall.”
There was no hiding the relief in his eyes. Fiona drew her lip in to keep from laughing at him. Aye, he may very well have been ready to give up all just to be with her, but she knew ’twas a last resort on his part. ’Twas simply enough to know he’d been willing.
“When would ye like to post the banns?” she asked.
As quick as a blink, desire began to smolder in those big, brown eyes of his. It made her heart flutter and her stomach turn warm with anticipation.
“We’ll no’ be postin’ banns,” he said. “I be certain the priest has no’ left yet. If we hurry, we can marry in less than an hour.”
He was tetched. “But ye need to bring it before yer clan and I need to bring it before mine. Me clan will want to discuss the matter and they’ll need to vote Collin as chief. We need time—”
He stopped all further protests with a hot, passionate kiss that stole her breath away along with her good sense. Her heart beat so rapidly she thought it might climb its way out of her chest. She grabbed his sleeves with sweaty palms and hung on for dear life.
T
he decision
on when to marry would have been made sooner had Caelen stopped kissing her long enough to listen. Fiona had made several attempts at reasoning with him. But each time she made a point on why they could not marry immediately, Caelen would pull her close and kiss her until she was breathless and quite tempted to have her way with him, out in the open field.
She finally realized that any endeavor to discuss the matter with him was futile, she came to the conclusion that he was as stubborn as she. He would accept nothing less than marrying her this very day.
“Verra well,” she said after breaking away from his lips. “If ye wish to marry this day, then we shall.” ’Twas not a complete lie. If they could find a way to manage it then she’d have no qualms. Arguing with the man was pointless, however, he might listen to her advisors and her brothers.
With a victorious grin, he said, “I knew ye’d come to see things my way,” he said as he pulled her toward his horse.
She’d allow him to believe what he believed. There was no sense in letting him know that the only way she’d marry was with her clan’s blessing. And since there was no way to garner that out here in the open field, she was forced to relent long enough to get back to her keep.
With very little effort, he lifted her up and sat her on the saddle. Happily, she held the reins and waited for him to climb up behind her. “We shall go find the priest,” he said as he took the reins from her hands.
Her insides trembled. They had only experienced the wonders of each other once before, and only for a few short hours. Now she was looking at a lifetime of exploration and loving the man. The possibilities were endless and for the first time in a very long time she found herself looking forward to the future.