What had she done?
She’d kissed her company officer. Her captain. A man who had power over her career.
It wasn’t that Joe would use it against her. It was more about what others would think if they ever found out. What she thought of herself.
And how Joe would treat her now.
He already hovered, and would coddle her at a moment’s notice if she’d let him. She hadn’t yet figured out if it was because of her gender, her newness to the department or something else, but the last thing she wanted was for one of the other firefighters to notice Joe’s protectiveness.
And kissing a man tended to arouse his protectiveness even more.
If she could’ve chosen the best way to lose, or never gain, her colleagues’ respect, becoming involved—physically, romantically, stupidly—with one of the department captains topped the list.
“Look who it is,” Clay, one of the other fire fighters, said as Faith headed toward the four men already waiting.
“How’d it go last night?” asked Cale, the lieutenant with short, spiky brown hair.
Faith’s heart skipped two beats before she figured out they were addressing the guy behind her, Penn Griffin.
Guilty conscience much?
“Like I’d tell you bozos,” Penn said. His wide grin and the sparkle in his eyes revealed more than he intended, though.
“How’s it going, Faith?” Clay said. She didn’t know him well, hadn’t worked many shifts with him, but his brown eyes seemed genuinely friendly.
“Pretty good. How’s your baby?”
“You’re thinking of Evan Drake. He’s the one with the baby.”
She looked at the floor, embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“Give Clay a little time and he’ll probably have a baby, too,” Penn said. “Right now his world revolves around a couple of women.”
Faith raised her brows.
“One of them is my four-year-old daughter,” Clay said, smiling. “And one of these days you’ll meet Andie, my wife.”
“Looking forward to it.”
While they waited for the captain—Faith was forever doomed to be scheduled with Joe, it seemed—she wandered over to the truck and began opening compartments. She was usually assigned to the engine instead of the truck, but just in case, she needed to be familiar with the location of each tool, every piece of equipment at this station.
She looked up automatically when Joe strode in carrying a clipboard. Their eyes met briefly, and though his lingered for an extra split second, they gave nothing away. She relaxed a little and quashed the flicker of excitement sparked by the memory of kissing him.
She joined the group as Joe began calling out assignments for the day. Once again, she was on the engine with him. Was he taunting her? Messing with her?
Just as well that he didn’t make changes to the norm, she supposed. Last night shouldn’t be cause for rearranging everything. She intended to go on as if nothing had happened.
“Did anybody hear if we’re getting new radios yet?” Penn asked. “Mine’s crapping out. Can’t trust it anymore.”
“You’re not alone,” Joe said. “Find a spare one and see if it’s any better.”
“I thought Chief Peligni was going to order new ones,” Clay said.
Faith tensed at the mention of her dad’s possible slipup and refused to look at Joe.
“I’ll speak to him about it today,” Joe assured him.
“He’s sick today.” Faith immediately regretted speaking up. Reminding everyone she was the chief’s daughter was not the brightest move. And there was no need to inform Joe that her dad hadn’t made it in—he’d find out soon enough.
“He okay?” Cale asked. “I can’t remember the last time the chief was sick.”
“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Faith said quickly, cursing in her head. Might as well just blurt out that he had the mother of all hangovers. She glanced around for Derek and was glad to see he wasn’t on duty today.
She felt Joe’s gaze on her, questioning, wanting her to confirm that it was a case of brown bottle flu, but she made a point of ignoring him.
“Get to work,” Joe said to everyone in his captain voice. “Faith, I need to speak to you.”
She’d never been sent to the principal’s office, but suddenly had a decent idea of what it felt like. Attempting to hide her ridiculous nervousness, she took a few steps toward Joe.
“In my office,” he said, nodding in that direction. “I’ll be there in a couple minutes.”
Faith walked off the floor, annoyed that he’d called her out in front of everyone. Couldn’t he have quietly pulled her aside as she went about her assigned chores?
Once in the office, alone, she crossed her arms and watched two of her colleagues out the window as they raised the flags for the day and picked up litter in the courtyard. Joe entered the room and closed the door with a soft click, startling Faith.
“Why the closed door?” she asked, wondering for the first time if she was in trouble of some kind.
He stopped directly in front of her, too close. His gray officer’s shirt stretched over the bulk of his shoulders and muscular chest. “I didn’t figure you wanted the whole department to hear our conversation about your father.”
“He’s fine,” she said tersely.
Joe stared down at her, so close she could see the pores of his recently shaved chin. She forced her eyes to his brown-black ones, fighting the temptation to sneak a glance at the sensual lips she’d tasted last night.
“May I get through?” he asked, gesturing to the narrow path between the windowed wall and his desk.
Faith practically jumped out of his way, feeling like an idiot for the direction of her thoughts, when all he wanted to do was walk past her.
“I assume he’s still sleeping off last night?” Joe asked, pulling out his desk chair, but remaining on his feet. He leaned his fists on the clutter-free surface.
There was no sense in lying. As out of it as her dad had been last night, it’d be nothing short of amazing for him to be up and functioning before noon and they both knew it. But instead of admitting that, she didn’t answer. Waited for the next, hopefully better question.
“Are you doing okay?” he asked gently, and for some reason, that made it hard for her to swallow.
“I’m fine.”
Joe shook his head. “He’s fine. You’re fine. Everybody’s fine. What am I worried about?”
“That’s
my
question.” She crossed her arms.
“I’m not the bad guy here, Faith.”
She noticed dark shadows under his eyes and realized he had to be as exhausted as she was. All because of her family’s problem.
“I’m sorry. You’re right.” She wasn’t even convinced her dad was the bad guy. Right now wasn’t the time to assign blame, though.
She sat in the chair in front of Joe’s desk, shoulders slumping, suddenly overcome by fatigue and…fear. “I don’t know what to do for him.”
“He’s a grown man. Sometimes people have to help themselves.”
“That seems kind of harsh.”
“Maybe. Maybe not,” Joe said sternly. He walked around to the front of his desk and leaned against it, crossing his legs at the ankles. “I don’t know what to tell you, Faith. But you’re doing more than anyone else in your family just by being there for him. Staying with him. That’s a lot.”
“My brothers all have busy careers. They think I’m overreacting, but they haven’t seen him. How
off
he is.”
“The chief is glad to have you there.”
“How do you know?” she asked, not entirely comfortable with the personal direction of the conversation. How close
were
Joe and her dad? Had they discussed her before? That didn’t sit well with her.
“He doesn’t hide his opinion. He’s very proud of you.”
Joe’s words made her squirm. She rose to her feet, intent on getting the heck out of there and back to the tedium of daily chores. She found herself close enough to catch his masculine scent.
She stepped to the side, away from him. “What did you really call me in here for?”
“I’m concerned about your dad.”
Her shoulders stiffened and there was a decided change in the air. No longer were they officer and firefighter standing there, or even two people who’d shared a misguided but brain-numbing kiss last night. Now there was a current of adversity…her versus him.
“He’s going through hard times,” she said. “But he’ll be fine.”
Joe ran his fingers over his chin. “I know the separation from your mom is rough, but it’s starting to affect his work, Faith.”
“Like I said, he’ll be back tomorrow.” She swallowed hard and studied the ground, looking for a moment like a little girl who’d lost her favorite teddy bear. So uncharacteristic of her.
“He’s always been a model chief. Follows his own regulations to the letter. He’s prompt. Exact. Thorough.”
She nodded. “It’s who he is.”
“That’s why I’m worried. He’s been late recently. To meetings. To work. He’s let several issues go unaddressed….”
“He’s not himself some days.”
“I understand that, but…”
“But what?”
Joe didn’t know, exactly. “I can’t continue to ignore it. He’s in too important of a position. And now this…”
“So you’re going to, what—tell on him? Who are you going to tell?”
“I’m not going to tell anyone. Not right now. But I am going to keep an eye on him. If Mayor Romero needs a heads-up…”
“What is this? The depression patrol? Maybe he
is
depressed, but that’s a health issue. Not a professional one.”
Joe exhaled loudly, exasperated. “I’m just letting you know, Faith, that while I’m not going to say a word about carrying him to his bed last night, I don’t like that I seem to be repeatedly forced to keep Peligni family secrets. It puts me in one hell of an awkward position.”
She stared him down, the look in her eyes combative. “We don’t need your help. Consider yourself uninvolved.”
“I was involved the second you asked me to keep something from the chief.”
Still shooting daggers at him with her eyes, she grabbed the doorknob. “I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”
She swung the door open so hard it bounced off the wall as she walked away.
He hadn’t intended to come across as an unfeeling bastard. Wasn’t trying to threaten her or the chief.
On a personal level, maybe it was a good thing that he’d lacked any kind of gentleness, but if she was just another firefighter, just one of the guys, he would’ve handled the situation better.
She was getting to him and that wasn’t okay. Even if he didn’t care what the chief thought. Even if he wasn’t trying to get the assistant chief job.
It wasn’t okay.
It was unprofessional and somewhat embarrassing that the department had one woman on staff and the goddamn captain couldn’t keep a rein on his thoughts.
When Faith had walked into the bar last night, he couldn’t deny the buzz that had pumped through him at the sight of her. He hadn’t thought twice about helping her out. At the time, he’d convinced himself it was something he’d do for any of his “men,” but today, after making the mistake of ordering Faith into his office, he knew there’d been more to it than duty.
If he continued down this road, kept close tabs on Faith as the chief had requested, he risked getting in deeper. He had every intention of fighting off his desire for her, but look where that had gotten him last night. She cast a spell over him, made him stupid and lacking in judgment.
He was a lot weaker than he’d thought.
When it came to Faith Peligni and his career with the San Amaro Island Fire Department, he was screwed. Something had to give.