Buried and Shadowed (Branded Packs #3) (18 page)

Including a soft, inviting bed.

She gave a sharp shake of her head.
Nothing has changed
, she fiercely reminded herself.

Okay, Sinclair had actually gone to the effort of tracking her down. And he’d been possessively protective as he’d carried her away from the air base.

But she would be a fool to let herself think this was anything more than a desire to guard a valuable asset.

“So now you understand why I need to get to the Great Plains Home of Tranquility.”

His expression was guarded. “I understand that someone needs to go. But not you.”

She stiffened. “You don’t trust me?”

Some ephemeral emotion flared through the ice-blue of his eyes. “With my life.”

The words rasped against the wound he’d inflicted when he’d believed she could have betrayed him.

“You were quick enough to accuse me of working with the enemy.”

He grimaced. “I’m sorry, Mira. More sorry than you could possibly imagine,” he breathed.

Mira abruptly turned away. There was something unnerving about the raw regret that softened his features.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said.

“It does.” He moved until he was standing in front of her. Then, when she kept her gaze lowered, he gently cupped her chin in his hand and tilted back her head. “Look at me, sweetheart.” He patiently waited until she grudgingly lifted her eyes to meet his steady gaze. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never.”

Her lips twisted. “I know what you meant to do.”

He arched a dark brow. “Really?”

“Of course. I might be naive, but I’m not stupid,” she assured him. “I always knew that you were using me.”

His thumb lightly traced the curve of her lower lip. “Then you know more than I do,” he said.

Sparks of excitement raced through Mira, his mere touch enough to make her heart race and her palms sweat.

He was just so freaking gorgeous. And sexy.

And male.

Ruthlessly, deliciously male.

With an effort, she forced herself to not to melt into a willing puddle at his feet.

“Are you trying to say that you didn’t seek me out because of my position with the CDC?”

He paused, no doubt carefully considering his words. Although she didn’t know why he would bother. She sensed their relationship—no, it’d never been a
relationship
—or whatever it was, was about to come to an end.

There was no need to treat her as if he cared about her feelings.

“That was my initial reason, but we both know that my interest became far more personal.”

“Don’t,” she rasped. “Please, don’t lie.”

He scowled. “I’m not.”

“You’ve never seen me as anything more than a tool in your plans for revenge.”

He shook his head in denial of her accusation.

“Mira, if you were just a tool, then why did I meet with you so often?” he demanded. “I could have asked for your help and waited for you to contact me.”

Anger sizzled through her. Why couldn’t he just admit the truth?

“You were well aware the reason I was assisting you was because I was half in love with you,” she snapped. “You had to keep me infatuated, or you took the chance of me deciding it wasn’t worth the risk to help you.”

His fingers brushed along the tight line of her jaw. “Only half in love?” he teased.

She jerked back her head. Dammit. It wasn’t fair that his mere touch was enough to make her body clench with an aching hunger.

“This isn’t funny,” she said between gritted teeth.

He released a deep sigh, slowly lowering his hand. “No. It’s ironic.”

She tilted her chin. “What’s ironic about it?”

“I thought I was fooling you, when I was really fooling myself.”

Mira frowned, studying him with a wary gaze. “Is that supposed to make sense?”

“Not really.” He scrubbed his hands over his face before he nodded toward the nearby bed. “Can we sit?” He waited for her to move. When she stubbornly refused to budge, he at last pulled out the P word. “Please, Mira.”

“Fine,” she said, spinning on her heel to cross the short distance so she could perch on the edge of the mattress.

He was swiftly moving to settle next to her, the heat of his leg pressing against her thigh.

“Thank you,” he said, reaching to grab her hand.

“Sinclair,” she protested, making a half-hearted attempt to free herself from his grip.

Not surprisingly, he tightened his hold. Stubborn wolf.

“You’re right. I did seek you out because of your computer skills, and because you worked for the CDC,” he said, his voice low and husky.

Perfectly designed to make a woman think of dark nights and hot sex.

“Are you trying to make me feel better?” she complained, inwardly chastising herself. When the hell was she going to get over her pathetic yearning for this man? “If so, you suck at it.”

“I’m not finished. But you’re right, I do suck at it.” He lifted her hand to press her knuckles against his lips. “I’m not used to explaining myself.”

Breathe, Mira, just breathe
.

“Because you’re an Alpha?” Thankfully, her words didn’t come out as a croak.

Another lingering kiss landed on her knuckles before he was lowering her hand to his lap, his expression somber.

“Because I spent almost ten years of my life locked in a cage the size of a dog kennel.”

It took Mira a full minute to accept that the stark words weren’t some horrible joke.

Finally, her eyes widened, her stomach clenching with a sick sense of disbelief.

“The SAU?”

He shook his head. “My neighbor.”

“Why?”

His eyes darkened, and Mira suddenly realized she was catching a glimpse of the wounded wolf deep inside him.

“My parents suspected that the containment centers the SAU were creating for the supposed safety of the shifters would eventually become prisons,” his voice was laced with sadness. “Unfortunately, before they could organize a safe place for us to disappear, the soldiers were knocking at our door.”

It was an all-too-familiar story. Although Mira had been a mere babe when the Verona Virus had swept around the world, she’d heard rumors of the mass roundups of shifters and even the violent clashes that had led to thousands of unnecessary deaths.

“How old were you?”

“Five.”

Her mouth dropped open, her brain struggling to take in the knowledge that anyone could be twisted enough to lock a five-year-old child in a dog’s kennel.

“What happened?”

His expression was tight, the air prickling with the power of his inner animal.

“My parents lowered me out a bathroom window and told me to run. I had just gotten through the back fence when the neighbor caught me.” Sinclair’s lips twisted. “He promised he would keep me safe.”

She squeezed his fingers, instinctively pressing closer to his side. Sinclair could be harsh, impatient, sexy, and occasionally charming. But he carried with him an air of aloofness. As if nothing could truly reach him.

Now she was beginning to understand the reason he so rigidly protected himself from the world.

“What did he do to you?” she said, urging him to continue his story. As awful as it was, it explained so much about this complicated male.

“He used me as a new source of income.”

The air was squeezed from her lungs. “Income?”

“He would take me to underground parties where people would pay to see me shift into a wolf.” His voice was laced with bitterness. “After all, most shifters were being hidden behind the walls of the compounds. It was a rare opportunity to treat one like a circus animal. An indulgence they were willing to pay a fortune to enjoy.”

“God,” she breathed, leaning close enough to inhale the rich, musky scent of his skin. “I’m so sorry.”

His face hardened, his expression grim. “I survived. And planned. I knew it was only a matter of time before I managed to escape.”

“And you did,” she said.

“On my fifteenth birthday.” His lips curled, revealing his fangs. Mira shivered. Not from fear, although this was the first time she’d seen him lose control of his human form. It was, instead, a renegade thrill of wonderment. This male was truly a survivor. “The bastard got careless when he opened the door to the cage. Before he could get the muzzle on me, I managed to get out and knock him off his feet.”

“I hope you killed him,” she said.

The darkness that was shrouded around Sinclair abruptly lightened as he smiled at her fierce words.

“So bloodthirsty.” His gaze dropped to linger on her lips. “I like it.”

Mira rolled her eyes. “Did you?” she pressed. She needed to know that monster wasn’t out in the world hurting other shifters.

Sinclair snapped his fangs. “I ripped out his throat.”

“Good,” she said. “He was even worse than the SAU. What kind of sicko torments a child to make a profit?”

His smile faded. “I’ve stopped underestimating the depths of human depravity.”

She grimaced, but she couldn’t accept that such evil existed everywhere. Yeah. She was an incurable optimist. But she needed to think there was also good in the world.

“We’re not all bad,” she said.

“No. You taught me that.” He once again lifted her hand, turning it over so his lips could trace the fine veins beneath the skin of her inner wrist. “And not all shifters are good.”

Tiny shivers raced through her. Oh…yum. Why the hell hadn’t he done this months ago? She’d been desperate to get him naked.

It didn’t matter that he was only using her. Or that she might hate herself once it was over.

She’d just wanted one night of glorious passion before she was dropped back into her boring life.

Now it was all too late.

“What did you do once you escaped?” she abruptly demanded.

He held her gaze as he continued to stroke his lips over her sensitive skin.

“For a while, I hid in the most remote sections of the Rocky Mountains I could find,” he said. “I just wanted to be alone.”

“You didn’t seek out other shifters?”

There was an unnerving watchfulness in his ice-blue eyes. Was it the wolf? Or the man.

Perhaps a combination of both.

“No, I was half feral, and I spent most of my time in my animal form,” he admitted. “Then one day I crossed paths with another wolf shifter who was being hunted by the local SAU. I took her into my hidden liar. I only intended to allow her to stay until the danger passed, but she refused to go. Even worse, she had a friend who tracked us down. The grizzly shifter was just as stubborn.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, refusing to reveal that she was jealous of the thought of him sharing his lair with another female.

She didn’t have the right. She’d
never
had the right, even if she hoped that someday she could convince him that she could be more than just a means to an end.

She gave a sharp shake of her head. “It was the start of the Unseen?”

“Yes.” His shrug was rueful. “I agreed to become the Alpha and to put the members of my Pack first in my life. But, at heart, I’m still a loner.”

I’m still a loner
…

The words sliced through her. It was, of course, what she’d always known deep inside. She just hadn’t wanted to accept it.

“I get it,” she said, starting to rise from the bed. “I really do.”

Without warning, he yanked her back down, his eyes narrowed with frustration.

“Mira, would you let a man finish?”

Sinclair knew that he wasn’t winning any brownie points with Mira. He might not have Rios’s smooth charm, but he did know that growling at a woman and yanking her around wasn’t the best way to earn her good will.

But dammit, he was beyond frustrated.

Not with Mira. Never with her. But with his own awkward inability to express his emotions.

Who knew it could be so hard?

“Excuse me?” she demanded in dangerous tones.

He grimaced. “I’m trying to make a point.”

“Then make it,” she warned.

Sucking in a deep breath, he studied her delicate features, not missing the wariness that lingered in her beautiful eyes. He hadn’t intended to tell her about the years he’d spent as a circus freak. He never talked about that time with anyone. But for reasons he couldn’t explain, he’d felt an overwhelming need to share the horror he’d endured. Not for her sympathy, but to ensure she could accept what he’d done to survive.

She had to understand that both his animal and human halves could be savage when necessary.

Thankfully, she hadn’t flinched. In fact, she’d been splendidly protective.

Unfortunately, his revelations had left him feeling oddly venerable. A sensation that he found…unnerving.

“My past means that I don’t have the best interpersonal skills,” he stated the obvious. “And I have even less insight into my emotions.”

“You’re a male.” She shrugged. “None of you have any insights.”

“Ouch.” He pressed her hand to the center of his chest.  “A direct hit.”

She turned her head away. Almost as if she thought she could hide her hurt from him. It was obvious she had a lot to learn about shifters.

He could smell her each and every emotion.

At the moment, her luscious scent was a mixture of spring flowers, burnt toast, and a lingering feminine desire she couldn’t disguise.

“You really don’t have to say anything else,” she said.

“I do.” He resisted the urge to tug her into his lap and wrap her tightly in his arms. First, he had to undo the damage he’d caused. Only then could she trust him. “Initially, my intention was to seek you out and earn your trust so you would help me,” he admitted, rubbing his thumb over the tender skin of her inner wrist. He felt her heart skip a beat at his light caress. She was still aroused by his touch. Thank God. It was the only hope he had that he could reach through the walls she was trying to build between them. “But that doesn’t explain why I spent my day checking my phone to see if you called,” he confessed. “Or why I refused the offer of my Packmates to meet with you. From the minute I caught sight of you, I knew that no one else was getting near you.” He lifted her hand to nuzzle his lips against her fingers. “You are mine.”