Bruises of the Heart

To my husband- for your love and support.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines bruise as "to develop or bear a discolored spot on the skin as the result of a blow, fall, etc." These are physical things everyone can see, but what about the bruises that no one can see…
the bruises that you hide from the world and deny even to yourself…
the bruises you carry on your heart and soul for your lifetime? What about those?

Boys are so stupid.

"Did you hear?" Tara's voice broke into the fog of thought I had sunk into.

"Did I hear what?" I asked, still staring out of the window in first period.

"There's a new transfer student starting today…" Her voice faded to a murmur in the background. I sat, still lost in my own thoughts.

I had known my best friend Tara almost my whole life. I knew her hazel eyes must be sparkling. Tara loved nothing better than to gossip, and the possibility of something new to sink her teeth into was enough to energize her for the next month at least. Maybe now she would stop pestering me to move on and stop thinking about my breakup with Noah.

"Victoria!
Did you hear what I just said?" Tara asked, more than a little shrilly. "Oh my goodness. Since you and Noah broke up, you haven't been interested in anything. It's time to get out of your funk."

I grimaced at her before answering. "Sorry. I'm still trying to understand what happened. I mean, everything was great and then it all just fell apart
—
never mind," I said, giving her a small smile. "Tell me again what you were saying."

Tara slid into the desk next to me and settled in to impart the latest tidbit of gossip. "There's a new student and he's starting today. His name is Will Prescott and he's a senior. I heard from Becky that he got expelled from Fairview, but I don't know why yet."

"If anyone can find out, it's you. I'm not sure that anyone has ever been able to keep anything from you."

"Well, I do try. I saw him sitting in the guidance office with his parents and he's gorgeous. Just wait until you see him." Tara smiled at the memory.

"I'm sure that I'll see him sometime. Have you forgotten that we go to the smallest school on the planet?" I replied, digging into my bag for my English book.

I heard Tara's sharply indrawn breath and looked up at her. She was staring at the door and I turned to see what had fixated her attention, even though I was pretty sure I already knew.

Will Prescott was beautiful. There was no other word to describe him. He was also the complete opposite of Noah. Where Noah had blond hair and ice-blue eyes, Will had dark brown hair and eyes like melted chocolate.

"Didn't I tell you?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah, you were right. Now all you have to do is find out what he's doing here," I challenged her.

"Oh, I will. By the end of the week I'll know everything." She leaned back in her seat and smiled confidently.

I shook my head at her, then turned my attention back to the book in front of me. Maybe I could try and finish my homework before Mr. Holmes asked for it to be turned in.

"Hi."

I looked up into brown eyes that were indeed the color of melted chocolate, and ringed by dark lashes. I held my breath as I took in the rest of his face. His nose was straight and his lips full. His hair was almost the color of night and fell just right across his forehead. I smiled up at him and I heard Tara sigh when he reciprocated with perfectly straight white teeth.

"Mr. Holmes told me to sit in front of you and that you could tell me what's been going on," Will said as he sat down.

"Yeah," I said, clearing my suddenly dry throat and trying to grab my scattered thoughts. "It's probably just the same stuff you were doing at your last school. He said something about starting a research paper soon. We're supposed to pick a topic that interests us," I shyly responded.

"Does getting to know you better qualify?" He smiled at me.

I felt my cheeks get warm as I blushed at his question.

Mr. Holmes chose that moment to start class, and I spent the rest of the period looking at what I was becoming quite certain was the most perfect head I had ever seen.

The bell rang and I gathered up my things. Tara was right behind me as I walked out of class. As she came up beside me, I could feel her eyes burning into my face, but I refused to look over at her. I slowed down when I felt someone lightly grab me by the arm.

"Hey, I'm Will, by the way. Will Prescott."

"Yeah," I said, peeking up at him. "I know. I'm Victoria Williams. I guess I'll see you around."

"I'm sure we'll bump into each other. This school is really small," he said with a little laugh.

I echoed his laugh. "Yeah, it is. You definitely won't get lost."

Will fascinated me. I could admit that to myself, but why was I so fascinated? Was it because he had a killer smile, or was it just the normal attraction that everyone was feeling for the new student?

I mentally shook my head and sank down into my seat in my next class just as the bell rang. I dug into my bag to get my math book out as the noise in the classroom subsided.

"Thank you for joining us, Mr. Daniels," Ms. Thomas droned out.

My heart started pounding and my eyes darted to the front of the classroom of their own volition. I silently cursed my traitorous heart for getting excited at the mere mention of the boy who was responsible for breaking it.

My mind flashed back to three months earlier. I could remember it so clearly, as if it was happening again. The day had been a normal one. I had gotten up, gone to school, talked to my friends, and had stolen little moments with Noah between classes. Noah had driven me home after school just like every other day, but after I'd flopped onto the couch, Noah hadn't sat with me, so I'd looked up at him questioningly.

"We need to talk," he'd said solemnly.

With those four words, I'd felt my stomach clench in a painful knot and icy fingers of foreboding wrapped themselves around my heart and lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Noah had run his hand through his blond hair and grasped the back of his neck. "Umm, I'm
…
man, this is harder than I thought it was going to be," he'd said to himself. "I'm not sure that we should… I think we should break up. Maybe start to see other people."

I had stared at him, my mind blank. I couldn't seem to form a clear thought of my own, my whole body still fixed on the statement Noah had made.

"Tori?" he had begun. "Did you hear me? I know that this must come as a shock to you, but I've been thinking about it for a while now. We're seniors, and neither of us has ever dated anyone else."

"I don't understand," I had whispered. "I thought we loved each other. I believed that you loved me." My voice gained strength as I spoke.

"I do care about you, Tori, and I think I love you, but we've been together a long time and I think that we should see what else is out there. You've said yourself a few times that you've wondered if we were meant for each other or not. I just think that now is the time to do that. I'm sorry."

"What? Are you kidding me? I may have wondered that, but I didn't want to go and see other people," I'd said, getting mad.

"Sorry, Tori," he'd said, closing the door quietly as he left.

I had thrown the first thing I could lay my hands on. The plastic candy dish hit the door and the brightly colored hard candy scattered over the floor.

"I said sorry!" he'd yelled from the other side of the door.

"Oh, just go away if that's what you want. But don't come crawling back when you change your mind!" I'd yelled back.

After I had cleaned up the mess created by my anger, I had called Tara and replayed everything with her. "Honestly, Tori, you're probably better off without him," she'd said.

We'd hung up when my mom had come home and, still fuming, I'd told her what had happened. Unlike Tara, my mom hadn't been as certain about things.

"I think you let your temper get the better of you. After you've let it all sink in, I think you may feel a little differently about everything," Mom had said.

My mom and I had always been really close. I think it was because she'd been so young when she'd had me. Unlike the parents of my friends, she remembered all too well what it was like to be in high school and she'd always encouraged me to talk to her about everything. As a result, I hadn't felt like I needed to hide anything from her.

When I'd seen my mom frown out of the corner of my eye, I wasn't sure I wanted to know what she was thinking, so I hadn't asked.

"Well, either way it sounds like you need comfort food tonight. It always helps me." She'd patted my arm and gotten up, then walked to the kitchen, which was part of one big living area of the cabin we had shared for as long as I could remember.

I'd followed her with my eyes as she pulled various items from the freezer and cupboards. When she had finished, the counter was lined with all the fixings needed for a Death by Chocolate ice cream sundae.

Coming back to the present, I grimaced at the fact my mom's words had been prophetic. I did regret my temper and I missed Noah terribly. I wasn't sure my heart would ever be the same.

"So I've decided that you should talk to Will some more. I think that it will finally help you to get over Noah," Tara stated matter-of-factly when we were leaving math class.

"I don't know, Tara. I'm not sure that I'm even ready for anything right now."

"I'm not saying that you have to go out with him, but talk to him. It's not going to hurt anything just by talking to him. You don't see Noah just sitting around doing nothing. And before you say it, yes, I remember he broke up with you."

She continued to stare me down as we walked to our next class. Sometimes it was really aggravating being in such a small school where your classmates didn't vary much from class to class. I kept trying to ignore Tara, but it was obvious she wasn't about to let any of this go.

"Listen." I turned to look at her after we sat down. "I know that you mean well, but it's hard enough watching Noah talk and flirt with other girls. I'm not sure that I have it in me to date someone else right now."

"I'm not saying that you have to fall in love with him. Just be his friend. He's the new kid in school
—
maybe he needs one."

The topic of our conversation chose that moment to walk into class, and as luck would have it, the only empty seat was right next to me. Will smiled easily as he made his way down the aisle and took his seat. "So, we meet again. You're right about not getting lost. I'm not sure anyone could get lost in this school," he said, flashing his perfect teeth at me.

"That's good to hear." I had what I thought were butterflies in my stomach, but it had been so long since that had occurred that I didn't trust the tiny fluttering.

We spent the rest of the class working in small groups. Will joined our group, which gave me more time to see if I was really feeling little wings or if I just needed to go to lunch.

I found myself hoping for the butterflies.