Brother Willy's Traveling Salvation Show (28 page)

Scott
knew he could not let her be distracted from what he was sure she needed. “I’m glad you are feeling better, but you still have to go through the process of getting this crap out of your system. You still have to do your rehab and it is not always going to be easy.”

Amie
started laughing at his approach. “You sound like my counselor. I am actually looking forward to you and me working through this. It’s going to be interesting to work on the purification of the spirit.”

She paused for a few minutes as she looked closely at her surroundings while considering her
feelings. “When I look out over the inlets to the ocean, it’s like understanding that the world can open up and show you everything that is possible. Our minds are so caught up in the day-to-day trash of life that we forget everything else that could be a part of something special and we don’t even see it. That’s pretty amazing if you think about it.”

Scott
listened carefully to her metaphor before he glanced at her eyes. “What do you see when the world opens up for you?”

Amie
was excited as she bit her lower lip. “I was a math major in college. We use numbers to prove everything including how large the universe is and how far away the stars really are. I dream about the things I know about and the things I wonder about. I often wonder about the things for which we know nothing. I would like to discover something no one else has ever known.”

“Do you want to be famous for your discovery?”
Scott asked.

She didn’t hesitate.
“I could care less about fame. I do wish I could study particle physics. Can you imagine if the Hardon Collider actually created a black hole? What would happen if we discover that cosmic inflation is not the answer to the problems associated with the big bang theory? I would also love to paint. I can see me sitting right here and painting the scene that you and I are looking at. I would also like to paint a seascape.”

Amie
immediately noticed Scott’s expression. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Scott
chose to minimize his answer. “You just don’t seem like the same person I took to the emergency room two nights ago.”

Amie
knew he was confused and chose to play up her difference in behavior. “Do you prefer the sexy little drunk blond?”

“To be honest, I prefer the sexy little intelligent girl I’m talking to now. I’m just surprised to see
so much difference. Two nights ago, you were drunk and cutting your arm and now, you are talking about quantum mechanics. That’s quite a difference.”

Amie
thought about the best way to answer him. “Sometimes a girl has to find a place where she can fit in. A discussion about quantum mechanics won’t win many friends in a sorority and a skimpy two piece will attract more guys than a calculus book.”

Scott
smiled. “Never try to con the con man. I don’t think what you said is the whole story. Parts of your statement may be true, but there is much more you haven’t said.”

With a playful expression, she
moved her face close to his as though she was challenging him. “What did I leave out?”

Scot moved his face closer to hers and gave her a quick kiss as if to say he had met her challenge. “I could spend several days talking about what you left out. If I were just guessing, I would say you don’t know where you want to fit in because you
could fit in anywhere you chose to be.”

“You are not going to fall for my little tricks, are you?”

“Would you want me to?”

Amie
started grinning. “No, not really. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t object if you fell for a few of my girl tricks.”

Scott
looked out over the river. “I probably have already.”

Amie
also turned her attention to the river. “I think you and I would have fun if we found a nice quiet place and debated your idea of the Universal Mind and my idea of creation. I’ve already thought a lot about the things we talked about at the fort on Saturday and I would really like to get inside your head.”

Scott
wasn’t going to let her or anyone else in his head and therefore steered the conversation to Amie. “I don’t understand the radical difference I see in you. I guess what I really don’t understand is how you got in the mess you were in?”

Amie
knew he was getting close to the things in her life she would just as soon forget. “I hope Beth didn’t tell you my life story. I don’t want anybody to know that much about me.”

“She didn’t tell me much, but you told me a lot. Anyway, I was hoping you would be the one to tell me your story. You seem like a girl who is very much at odds with herself. One night you are looking for guys to party with and the next night, you are cuddled up with your dad watching a movie together.”

Amie tried to explain her feelings. “Before you and I talked on Saturday, I could care less about the purification of my senses or my spirit. I didn’t care about the ten steps to love or the Universal Mind. What you and I talked about are the things I’ve been looking for, only I didn’t know it until Saturday.”

Amie
stood up and looked down at Scott. “Let’s take a walk.”

As he joined her, she continued to explain her concerns. “I’m not proud of my life, or at least part of it. Sometimes, I think I
was punishing myself in order to get what I deserve. That doesn’t make sense to you, but in a twisted way, it does to me.”

Scott
thought he understood her point. “So in order to prove to yourself that you are not worthwhile, you make yourself worthless. Is that what you are getting at?”

She stopped and turned to
Scott. “I don’t think I like myself very much. I wonder sometimes if I don’t put myself in bad situations thinking that someone will kill me and get it over with. Now, even my friends are turning against me. They thought I was too drunk to remember what they were saying at the party. You, Beth and Michelle were the only ones to take care of me.”

Her statement changed
Scott’s way of thinking in an instant. “You had too much to drink, but I knew you were not as wasted as the others thought you were. I insisted on taking you to the emergency room because I thought you might actually try to hurt yourself. I want you to promise to call me if you ever get in that frame of mind.”

She took his hand and started walking again. “Cutting my arm was a classic cry for help. My friends either chose to ignore my cry or didn’t care. You came to help me
and you treated me with respect. I remember hearing Heather telling you to take me in the bedroom and fuck me. She was worse than any guy I’ve ever been with.”

Scott
wanted to make her aware of the facts as he saw them. “People run out of patience when the person they are trying to help doesn’t try to help themselves. I think you were seeing the frustration on steroids from some of your friends.”

Amie
wanted to make sure Scott understood her point. “I know they are frustrated with me, but they didn’t have to invite a stranger to use me like I was dishcloth or something.”

Scott
thought it was time she faced the truth. “If you don’t want to be treated like a dishcloth, then stop acting like a dishcloth.”

“Do you realize that when you and I were at the fort talking, you were one of the first guys to talk to me like I had an ounce of sense? Most men talk to me about superficial things while they stare at my boobs. You didn’t waste three minutes getting into my head with something
far more important than the latest movie, and that’s unusual. It was like you knew I had something to offer besides my body.”

Scott
wanted to reassure her. “I could tell that you were smart and you’re looking for something. There is no point in me offering steak to a vegetarian and there was no point in me saying something stupid to a smart girl.”

Amie
was looking for a sense of peace and she was having a hard time finding it. Scott had opened a door for her that she felt compelled to walk through. “I was looking out at how peaceful the ocean was when you and I were talking about the Universal Mind. However, underneath the calm ocean, are fish eating each other, strong currents controlling the world’s weather patterns, and a lot of general chaos going on under the sea. How does chaos work with your idea of the Universal Mind?”

Scott
thought about her question before he answered. “The Universal Mind is not an organized religion that allows me some great understanding. We both know that disorganization is the natural state of things. The Universal Mind lets me look beyond the chaos at the big picture and not be sucked into the thousands of details of disorganization.”

She thought about his answer before she pointed out what she thought was important. “You and I both know that everything is made of
the details in one form or another. You can’t ignore the details and that brings me to my next question. If I told you the details of my life story, would we still be able to be friends?”

“A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.”
Scott replied.

Amie
smiled. “If I am not mistaken, that’s a Chinese proverb.”

Scott
smiled. “I like proverbs because they say so much with so few words. When I get my act together, I’ll start judging you, but that won’t be any time soon”.

She took his hand as they continued their walk along the river. “
Beth came to see me yesterday and told me everything that happened with the three of you at the beach. I understand why you are having trouble with Beth and Michelle, but I want you to consider something that I think relates to what we were talking about at the Fort.”

Scott
was not happy to find out Beth had been discussing things he considered private. “I wish Beth understood the value of discretion.”

“
Scott, Beth likes you very much and she thinks you will never see her again. She doesn’t need that right now.”

Amie
walked a little further before she continued her thought. “If you had not met Beth, you would never have come to help me at the party, we would have never gone to Fort Macon, and we would not be here today. I think what I am trying to say is that maybe there is a plan that is bigger than we are. From just the standpoint of math, the odds of you and I being here today are astronomical. If you and Michelle had made a different choice and gone into town instead of lying on the beach, you would have never met Beth. You and I would never have known each other.”

“So I guess you are talking about predestination as opposed to free will.”
Scott replied.

Amie
shook her head. “That conversation is much too big for us to solve today. I just think so many pieces of the puzzle had to fall into place in just the right order for you and me to know each other. It’s amazing we’re here together. Our chance meeting two days ago could change my entire life.”

Scott
glanced at his watch. “I don’t know you very well but I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.”

As they walked back to the parking lot, she gave
Scott insight he was not expecting. “No alcoholic ever thinks they are an alcoholic and I understand that. I don’t think my problem is alcohol or drugs. I think my problem is that I am, or at least was, being self-destructive. I think I am going to find that alcohol was a tool I used not because I had to have it, but because it allowed me to continue my downward spiral. I think I have hit bottom and can start climbing the ladder now.”

As they reached her car,
Scott reached out to hug Amie. “I’ll be gone until Saturday but call me if you need to talk to someone. Don’t ever give up because you have too much going for you.”

Amie
took both of his hands as she looked at him. “I don’t know why you feel so guilty about Ashley, but try to remember you can’t fix all the broken girls that will come into your life.”

Scott
smiled, “I know, but I can’t let one more person end up in the graveyard or in a rehab center if I can stop it”.

Amie
shook her head. “You know you will drive yourself crazy thinking like that.”

Amie
opened her car door before she turned back to Scott. “There is something I need to tell you and I don’t think you will believe me. Something very strange was going on between Beth and Michelle when you were at the beach with them. I know Beth doesn’t understand it and I doubt Michelle does either. Don’t be afraid to look for the truth is some strange places because I think you are going to have your eyes opened to something you can’t explain or even imagine.”

Scott
looked at her with a bewildered expression. “Do you know something that I don’t know?”

Amie
sat down in the driver’s seat but left her legs hanging out of the car. “Just between you and me, the premonition Beth had at the beach was not the first one she has ever had. I know personally of several she had and they came true. I also suspect that if she does in fact have some special gift or ability, Michelle may have the same condition.”

Scott
replied, still feeling doubtful. “I’m surprised that someone who has your interest and experience in math and science would believe in psychic phenomenon.”