BrookLyn's Journey (44 page)

“
Okay.
I’m going to run upstairs and change my clothes
.
”

“Could you just stay with me while I talk to her and then we can both get ready for bed?”
BrookLyn
touch
ed Gabby’s
arm.

“If you want me to
.
”
She seemed
surprised.

“I’m going to tell her about us and I want you to be here when I do
.
”

Gabby smiled and squeezed
BrookLyn’s
ha
nd. Gabby’s eyes were still sad but she was
looking more like herself. Gabby sat down in the kitchen chair and
BrookLyn moved to stand
in between her legs.
She
wanted
to combine
Gabby’s
strength
with her own
to
help
guide
her
through this conversation
.
Gabby wrapped her arms around
BrookLyn’s
waist.

T
he phone rang once. “Hello?”

“Hi
,
Ebonee. Sorry it’s so late
.
” It was almost midnight
.

“It’s not late. I was hoping you’d call. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m better than okay. It was hard at first
,
but I feel better getting it all out.”

“I spoke to Officer Thomas. I told him what happened when I was living in the house. I gave him Peyton and Jayde’s numbers. He talked to them too.”

BrookLyn
took a deep breath
.
“I have something
else
to tell you
,
Ebonee.”

“I’m all ears,” she said.
BrookLyn could hear her smiling.

“The last time we talked you said that you wouldn’t judge me, right?”

“Yes, I love you
,
BrookLyn
.
”

BrookLyn
squeezed Gabby’s hand
and took another breath.
She was shaking and
Gabby pulled
her
closer
for support
.
“I’ve been staying with my friend, Gabriella. Gabby and I
—u
m, Gabby and I
—we
are more than friends
.
”
She’s going to scream any second now.

She didn’t.
“What does that mean?”

She
started picking frantically at her cuticles, brought her hand up to gnaw on it
,
then
stopped
herself.
“It means that we’re
...
a couple.” Silence.
She
didn’t know which was worse, yelling or silence.

“Are you gay, BrookLyn?”

“No.”

“Now I’m thoroughly confused
.
”

“Gabby and I are together. She is a lesbian. I can’t say that I am, but I
do
love her. I know it’s hard to understand. I can’t see myself with another woman. I can only see myself with her. I trust her and feel completely safe with her.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“I’m happy,”
BrookLyn
said.
That was as sure as she was
about anything.

“Well, that’s what matters, BrookLyn. Happiness will be the key to all of your success. If you’re happy
,
it will overflow into everything you do.”

“Do you still love me?”
She tapped her fingers anxiously on the countertop.

“I never stopped
.
”
Her sister
laughed.

BrookLyn gave Gabby a thumbs
-
up, and she grinned widely in return.

They continued talking
for a little while about
her
, Gabby
,
and of course
, their
parents. It felt good to get it out.
BrookLyn
wasn’t ready to
run and tell everyone about
her and Gabby,
but it felt good to finally be honest. Before
she
knew it
, they had been
on the phone for an hour.
The e
xhaustion
from the day
had set in. Gabby had just about fallen asleep
in the chair,
with
BrookLyn
now sitting on her lap.

“Well, we need to go to bed,”
she
told Ebonee.

“Me too. Tell Gabby I look forward to meeting her at graduation
.
”

That made BrookLyn
smile
on the inside and outside
.
“I didn’t know you were coming,”
she
said
,
surprised.

“All of us will be there. We’re so proud of you.”

BrookLyn
started crying.

“Don’t cry BrookLyn,”
her sister
said
,
as Gabby hugged
her
tight.

“These are finally happy tears,”
she
said.

“Good. Now you two get to bed so you’ll actually graduate,” Ebonee
teased.

“Let me give you our number before I hang up
.
”

She
did, then
said goodbye and
placed
the phone on the base
. She
turned to Gabby
.
“Are you ready for bed?”

Gabby
smiled and hugged
BrookLyn tighter.

“I bounced the hell out of that ball this time
,
didn’t I?”

“I didn’t even put it in your court
.
”
Gabby
smiled.

“Nope, my parents did.”
BrookLyn exhaled proud of her courage.
Then they
locked fingers and went upstairs to bed
.

Chapter Nineteen

The next morning,
was a new
day, in every sense of the word
. To her surprise—and she was sure her parents’ surprise as well—BrookLyn had taken back what should have been hers all along. Her life.

As
BrookLyn
sat in study hall after homeroom, she used the time to
focus on her
most liberated
journal entry
yet. She removed her special pen from inside the book and let it glide across the page.

***

Freedom

I am free. There is nothing like the sweet taste of freedom.
June w
ill
be here in no time. I
’m able to
wal
k
the halls at Middletown High School with my head up
,
even
on days
when
it
’
s
hard to hold
it
there
. I ha
ve
never done
that before. Standing up to my parents
,
and Shante
,
has given me
confidence
that I never knew I had
.
It was somewhere hiding until I needed it most.
It’s
strengthening my stride. I ha
ve
always wanted to be
a confident person and I am on my way
. I s
ent
off my college applications and
am getting ready
to take the SAT
exam
. If I d
on
’t do well on the SATs I
will
take it again over the summer. I see
the
light at the end of
the
tunnel.

I
removed
the pain and sadness that I had been wearing like a coat.
I have been focusing on what I need to
focus on,
and not on my parents.
I’m studying
with a different
attitude
now
.
Before,
I wanted to go to a good college and be successful
to escape,
but
now I am doing it
for me
.

I ha
ve
to deal with the issue of Gabby and me eventually. I love her most days and fe
el
comfortable with our relationship, but at times I
still
want to let it go. I think I am
confused because of what
society
thinks about us, not by what I feel
. She loved me from the very first moment and has never stopped. She protects me and takes care of me the way no one else ever has.
There are people in
t
he world
that won’t
like
us
,
and that
’
s hard
sometimes
for me to comprehend.

Once we graduate, if we
’re
going to be together, we ha
ve
to decide where we
are
going to live. I d
on’t
want to stay anywhere even close to New York. I kn
ow
that Gabby c
an’t
just walk away from the home her parents left her. Before graduation we ha
ve
to have an idea where our journey
i
s going to take us next. As things st
and
now, I want us to be together
,
but like the weather, my feelings change daily. I
flip-flop
from hour to hour.

***

When
BrookLyn
looked up from
her
journal, class was over.
Morgan walked by
her
desk
and he
stopped as
she
gathered
her
things.

“
Hey, BrookLyn.
Where
will
you
be
going to school?” He smil
ed
and arch
ed
his uni-brow.

“I’m not really sure. I
have a few places lined
up.”
BrookLyn
stood up
as
he touched
her
arm.

“I just want you to know you’re a very pretty girl, BrookLyn.”

She hadn’t
see
n
that coming
, but she smiled at him and returned the compliment.
“Thanks, you’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Wait until you see me at
graduation. I
’m
getting
something do
ne
about this.” He touched the center of his forehead, and snorted.
“
I can’t go to Harvard wearing this thing.
”

“I
hadn’t
even notice
d
.”
BrookLyn grinned.

He
chuckled
and said, “
Your dishonesty and kindne
ss make you even prettier.”
He started to leave, but stopped.
“
By the way,
BrookLyn. I don’t know what’s happened to
you recently
,
but whatever
it
is,
you’re wearing it very well.”

“I
’m
on
a
journey
, Morgan
. It’s
been
a long one
,
but I
’ve
learned a lot from it.”