Authors: Jade M. Phillips
His strong arms lifted me from the ground, my body
convulsing in pain. I writhed and groaned, feeling as though I were dying, but that
didn’t seem right. I somehow knew I’d already died, yet couldn’t recall exactly
what’d happened. Fire exploded all around me, buildings consumed by flame.
“
I’m going to regret this
,” his deep voice rang
through my core, causing a feeling of familiarity, a striking awareness.
It suddenly dawned on me that I’d been here before, seen
these burning warehouses before, and lived this moment before. I’d been saved
by the man with the storm-cloud eyes wearing combat gear. And then it struck me
like a bolt of lightning— I was dreaming, and Guy Stone, my savior, was
carrying me away from flaming debris and the threat his FUSE brothers posed upon
me.
Though now aware I was dreaming, I didn’t want to wake up. I
was safe and warm in his arms, and the smell of him— God, that smell of him was
intoxicating. Not in a sustenance type way, but in a strong man way. He smelled
of leather and musk and life. My sleeping eyes brimmed with tears as I faded
into wakefulness, clutching the place on my chest where the rosary had been. My
heart sank when I realized it was gone. Broken.
My lashes fluttered open to see the same cellar, the same
damp brick walls I’d been living within for the last couple of weeks. I
breathed in deeply, wondering if I would ever be relieved of the lovesick pain Guy
brought upon me. I recalled the saying ‘time heals all wounds,’ but realized as
time moved on, my pain only grew stronger. But I needed to be strong and not
let Guy’s actions be left in vain. He had done so much for me, not only putting
his lifelong career on the line, but his life as well. I needed to do as he did
and move on, get over it.
I sat up, my head spinning like I’d just departed a lengthy
and vigorous swirly-whirly carnival ride, and I gripped the sides of the cot to
brace myself. After a moment I tried to stand, but my legs wobbled and I
clumsily sank back down into my make-shift bed. My hands trembled, though not from
fear, but weakness, and I attributed it to not having eaten in weeks. I didn’t know
how long a vampire could survive without feeding, but I assumed not much longer
than I already had. I then remembered I was not a normal vampire, being
half-human after all, but concluded that didn’t really answer my question of
how long I could live without consuming blood.
“Ruby,” Orie called out from the hatch. “Someone’s here to
see you.”
“Be right there,” I replied softly, still trying to get my
bearings.
I stood again, this time more slowly and sauntered over to
the stairs. I held firm to the wooden handrail and pulled myself toward the
cellar door. I crawled through and saw Pandora sitting at the kitchen table,
tapping her fingernail on the table. Orie smiled awkwardly at me and then left
the room.
“So, I hear you have not been drinking the blood I’ve been
sending,” she mused as I stood and tried to steady my wavering body. Her gaze
travelled me, up and down. “You look like hell.”
“Thanks,” I groaned, hefting a foot to take a step forward.
It was almost more effort than I could manage.
Even though Pandora looked thoroughly irritated, and I was
hardly functional at the moment, I was never so happy to see another vampire as
I was seeing her. Especially after being confronted by Horus a few days back.
“And… why is it you are not feeding?” she asked, her voice
sounding less than enthralled.
I slid into the chair next to her, nervous. What would she do
once I told her of my disgust for human blood? She’d probably think I was a
freak. But because she now knew my connection to Wilson, she said she’d protect
me no matter what. I needed to be honest with her and tell her the truth. I
tangled my fingers together and took a shaky breath.
“I just… can’t.”
Pandora’s dark green eyes studied me and she flipped her
hair over her shoulder.
“You
can’t
,” she repeated dryly, obviously unamused. She
didn’t ask for an explanation, but I knew she expected one. I sighed and hung
my head.
“I’ve only had the blood of animals,” I admitted, twisting
one of my hands in the other. “Never humans. It doesn’t appeal to me.”
Pandora furrowed her brows. “You’re starving yourself. You
realize that, don’t you?” She dropped her gaze and shook her head. “This is not
good.”
A moment of silence fell between us and shame gushed through
me. I wondered what would happen to me now that I’d confessed one of my many
secrets. If I wasn’t so weak, I probably would’ve been more concerned, but it
was all I could do to hold my head up. Pandora looked back to me, her green
gaze unyielding.
“Maybe it’s because you’ve yet to taste it, or… maybe
there’s something wrong with you, but it is not normal, Ruby Carter. A vampire
who does not drink human blood is like a fish that does not swim. It is unnatural.”
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t very well tell her that
I was some freakish half-breed vampire. Wilson had told me not to divulge that
information as it could pose dangerous, but he’d also told me that I could
trust Pandora. I didn’t know what to do. Pandora rubbed at her temples as
though soothing an oncoming headache.
“We need to keep this between us. If Horus found out that you
refused human blood, we’d be in a bad situation. He’d say you were acting
irrationally and that you’d lost your mind. You’d be right back to square one;
awaiting your death. Do you wish to die, Ruby Carter?”
I shook my head profusely, thinking I’d come too far to give
up now. I’d already escaped death too many times now to let myself fall into
its clutches yet again. Pandora huffed a loud sigh.
“I know this is a hard transition for you and I can’t even
pretend to remember what it was like, for it was so long ago when I was
turned.” She leaned in and studied me hard. “I hope that’s all this is— a
transition. I hope you come to your senses, and fast. That is of course, if you
wish to keep your existence.”
She stood as though to go, but turned back around. “I can’t
believe I’m even considering this… but… I’ll try to get you some nourishment.
Even if I could get a goat from the farm unnoticed, I don’t know how I’m to
keep this from everyone.” She sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”
I sighed heavily, relief washing over me. “Thank you.”
She spun abruptly, eyeing me in an almost accusatory way.
“But by doing this, I’m putting my trust in you. Trust that you’ll eventually
come to your senses and begin acting accordingly. You can’t go around drinking
goat’s blood forever.”
I nodded enthusiastically, thankful as ever I had Pandora on
my side. I didn’t know how much more luck I would have. Pandora stepped through
the kitchen door to leave, but I called out to her.
“Pandora, wait. I have a question.” She stopped and turned
to me, cocking a brow.
I was about to speak when the loud sound of a motorcycle
rumbled by, its reverberations seeming to shake the small house. After a moment
or two, the sound faded away in the distance. I couldn’t help but think it was
probably another scouting mission to abduct humans. I shook the grim notion
away and inhaled slowly, locking eyes with Pandora.
“Um… I was just curious about the humans. The way they are
kept is… It’s inhumane and—”
“And?” Pandora sharply interrupted me, placing a hand firmly
upon her hip, and I almost regretted bringing up the humans in the first place.
But the cat was already out of the bag, complete with claws, a tail, and
whiskers, and I couldn’t stuff it back in the sack. I forced a placid grin on
my face.
“Well, there are so many empty inns and buildings here. Would
it be at all possible to let them have rooms of their own?”
Pandora looked at me as though I’d completely lost my mind,
but I didn’t care. I felt strongly about the care of the humans, and though I
knew their blood-slave status wouldn’t be up for discussion, I had to at least
try to make their living conditions better. I continued voicing my ideas.
“They are unhealthy, and I imagine that has an effect on
their blood. If they had room to move around, and clean beds and clothes, and
maybe even a common room and patio where they could mingle, they’d be happier
and therefore healthier, making their blood even more beneficial to us all.” Pandora
frowned but said nothing. “All I’m asking is that you bring it up in one of the
legion meetings, if only to start with a better living facility.”
Pandora looked as though she were holding back a scoff, her
face tight and strained. “I wonder about you sometimes, girl. You’re the least
vampire-like vampire I’ve ever met.” She paused, and after a few moments, her
lips peeled into an almost imperceptible smile. “But I have to admit, you’ve
got guts.”
I smiled, a laugh bubbling past my lips, thinking that
Pandora just might be the ally I needed.
She continued to study me, then shook her head in disbelief.
“Wilson saw something in you I’m not sure that I do. If I didn’t know he’d sacrificed
himself to save you, I’d think you’d gone bananas.” Pandora released a long
breath. “Your request is pushing it and I cannot guarantee anything. But with that
being said, I’ll look into it— though I imagine I will be laughed at.”
Delight overcame me and I smiled, hardly able to control
myself. Maybe things weren’t that bad after all. “Oh thank you so much!” I
beamed.
“Don’t thank me yet.” Again, she gave me a once over,
considering my withered appearance. I followed her eyes and, looking down at
myself, realized I was rail thin and as pale as the moon itself— a likely
resemblance to a skeleton wearing clothes. Pandora clicked her tongue like a
disapproving grandmother, causing me to glance back up.
“But you have to promise me you will drink the animal blood
I produce,
if
and when I can do so.”
“I promise,” I vowed, meaning every word. She went to leave,
but I called out again, stopping her in her tracks. “Pandora?”
She did not turn around this time, her back to me, shoulders
rigid with what I was certain was annoyance. I braced myself before asking my
next question.
“Would it be too much to add in the housing conditions of
the werewolves?”
Her silence fell thick and, for a moment, I was certain she
would ignore me. But she finally spoke up, her voice as cold as a graveyard. “Don’t
push it girl.” I stifled a laugh, knowing what I’d asked was a lot, and
reasoned that the werewolf situation was less pressing and could be handled at
a later time.
With that, the red-headed vampire exited the house in a blur,
leaving me alone in the werewolves’ kitchen to ponder our conversation.
I couldn’t help but smile, thinking that no matter how
hopeless a situation was, things could always get better. I just might be able
to make a difference after all.
“Thank you.” Earl smiled as he took the pear from my hand.
He didn’t waste any time biting right into it.
“How’s your ankle feeling?” I asked, my voice echoing down
the cold hall of The Shelter.
Earl looked down at his bandaged foot and from behind a
mouth full of pear said, “I think it’s getting better. Still a little sore, but
I’ll be alright.”
“I’m so glad,” I replied with a smile, and meant it.
I studied the older man who I’d become quite fond of over
the past couple of weeks through the diamond-shaped chain links making up his
cage. His eyes looked brighter and his sunken cheeks were rounding out a bit
more. I assumed it had to do with the extra food I was sneaking in.
I leaned in and pressed the side of my face to his cage, whispering.
“Can you keep a secret?” Earl swallowed and spiked a brow, but I didn’t wait
for his reply. I was too excited. “I spoke to one of the leaders here and… well
she’s not the head vampire but her opinion is highly regarded. Anyway, she’s
going to suggest to the legion that you all are given better living facilities.
Maybe an inn or hotel with clean beds and linens.”
Earl dropped his pear and crawled to me, reaching out his shaking
hands by the slit in the cage. He reminded me of my dead grandfather and my
heart lifted with his smile. I reached through and grabbed his hands in mine,
his warmth radiating through me.
“Bless you, my dear,” he rasped. “Bless you.”
“But don’t say a word,” I added, knowing I probably
shouldn’t have said anything until the decision was final. “It’s not for sure
and I don’t want anyone getting their hopes up just yet. Now I’ve got to go,
but I’ll be back tomorrow.”
After bidding Earl goodbye, I left the Shelter smiling,
hoping what I’d told my new friend wasn’t a lie. Though I wanted to so badly, I
did not have the power to free these humans from their slavery. Without any
help, they —as well as I— would be killed before I even got them to the gates.
But I prayed I might make their living conditions a little more bearable for
the time being.
That led me to think about Cloe and her grim situation. I
wondered how on earth was she able to endure the torture Horus dealt her, and
if there were other Unfortunates here with her same reality. And furthermore, I
wondered where the heck she’d been. Ever since my training had ended, I’d been
on slave duty all by myself, the young vampire nowhere in sight. But as I
pondered her whereabouts, a thought struck my mind. I remembered Cloe saying if
I ever had any questions I could find her at the laundry well.
After turning in my cart at Big Nose Kate’s, I ran into Orie
and proceeded to ask him of Cloe’s whereabouts. He told me where to find the
laundry well and I quickly made my way to a small park on Allen Street.
Just as I hoped, there stood Cloe near a shabby white gazebo
in the park, her long brown hair hanging down her back and her nose wrinkled in
concentration. She was wringing out wet clothes and hanging them on a line that
ran between two large trees, sudsy buckets and an old washboard lying at her
feet. An old rusted playset stood behind her, the swings having broken
completely off, leaving the rusted chains swinging unattached. Her eyes finally
lighted upon me and she smiled, but her expression quickly melted from her face
and she dropped her gaze to her work. I wrinkled my brows at her strange
reaction.
“Need some help?” I asked, moving through the entrance of
the small park to her side. “I finished up early tonight.”
Cloe shrugged but kept her silence, the amber glow of a
nearby kerosene lamp highlighting her impassive expression. I couldn’t help but
notice she was different somehow, cold, but I ignored her odd manner, reaching
into a bucket of warm water to fish out a pair of linen pants.
“I haven’t seen you around lately,” I said, offering her a
sidelong glance. “Have you been moved to a different duty?”
“Yes. I’ve been moved.” Cloe’s answer was sharp and dry and
I could tell she didn’t want to talk about it. So I brushed aside her dour mood
and smiled, willing to change the subject.
“I have some exciting news,” I said, wringing the water from
the clothes, the fragrance of clean soap and rose petals arising from the
garments. “I spoke with Pandora about the human’s living conditions. She said
she’d bring it up to the legion— though I imagine Horus is going to flip in his
coffin when he hears.” I laughed at my own bad joke and looked to Cloe. She was
tense and, apparently, ignoring me.
“Is everything alright?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
Cloe did not so much as glance my way, but spoke dismally.
“I don’t think we should talk anymore. It’s better for both of us.”
I blanched in confusion. “What do you mean? Why?” I plucked
a couple of clothespins from a smaller bucket and hung the pants on the line,
all the while staring at her. “Cloe, you’re the best friend I have here. My
only
friend. Why shouldn’t we talk anymore?”
During my weeks of training, Cloe and I became surprisingly
close. We gossiped about the higher society vampires that thought they were
mightier than thou, and laughed about the werewolves’ antics. We spent hours
upon hours together, exchanging our views on the world. Why was she now so
cold? What made her change?
Cloe pulled a long white shirt from the laundry bucket and
squeezed out the water. She said nothing.
“It’s Horus, isn’t it? He doesn’t want you talking to me
anymore?”
Cloe hung the shirt on the line and dropped her arms to her
sides in frustration. “No, it’s the exact opposite. He wants me to talk to you.
In fact, he wants me to become very close to you so I may glean information
from you.”
“Information?” I asked, shocked. I felt slightly betrayed,
wondering if it was all an act. Wondering if Cloe only became my friend because
of Horus. But she’d been so sincere and I couldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t. Cloe
was not just Horus’ puppet. She was kind and sweet and wanted a life of her
own. But I realized now just how much I’d kept from her, from everyone really.
Maybe we didn’t know each other that well after all. I sighed, readying myself
for yet again, another lie. If she was truly reporting back to Horus I needed
to be more careful.
“But everyone knows everything about me,” I said. “I’ve only
been a vampire for less than three months and have nothing much to tell.”
Cloe wrung out another piece of clothing. “He thinks you’re
up to something. He thinks you have some large plan or there is something wrong
with you. He’s bound to find out what it is and wants me to do the dirty work.
He knows about the humans already and their connection to you. And if you keep
talking to me, I’m going to have to tell him what you’re saying. But I don’t
want to. I like you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. So please, for both
of us, just… don’t talk to me anymore.”
I stood in silence soaking in Cloe’s words, my hair whipping
into my face from the breeze. I stared off into the starry night sky, wondering
if maybe it didn’t have to be like this. Maybe there was another way. I turned
to her.
“Simple enough,” I responded. “Just don’t tell him what I
say. Leave out the parts that would anger him.”
“That’s just it.” Cloe exclaimed, her voice laden with fear.
She finally cast her eyes upon me, her gaze deep and scared. “He knows
everything I’m feeling. He may not know exactly what I’m withholding from him,
but he knows I am indeed holding back. And he hurts me, Ruby. I just… I can’t
do it anymore.”
Anger blazed through my body, burning like fire. To say I
hated Horus was a huge understatement. The fact that he was involving me in his
despicable actions and putting Cloe in the middle, ticked me off even more. But
what could I do? It’s not like my anger would make a difference. I released a
reluctant sigh.
“I don’t want that, Cloe. I’d hate for you to be hurt
because of me. So if you think it’s best…”
“It’s best,” she snapped and went back to her work.
I looked down at my dirty brown boots peaking from beneath my
black dress. I knew why Cloe was so distant lately; fear. And her living in
fear every day of her life infuriated me. I wanted to do something for her, to
help her. Suddenly a light winked on in my head as I remembered my time with Wilson.
I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth as I glanced back up.
“I may have a way you can protect yourself from him,” I said,
my hope rejuvenated. Cloe looked at me, her wide eyes like liquid lakes, the
moonlight sparkling within them. I wasn’t exactly sure if my idea would work,
but it couldn’t hurt to try.
I scuffed the heel of my boot in the dirt as I recalled my
training at Wilson’s ranch house. He’d taught me how to control my new strength
and speed using my mind, and if he could help me to control my body using pure
will power, then maybe I’d be able to help Cloe the same way. Maybe she could block
her thoughts and emotions from Horus using the same tactics. I walked up to
Cloe and placed my hands on her shoulders.
“It’s all about control,” I said. Cloe’s face twisted. I
sensed her fear and doubt, but shining through it all was hope. I smiled. I’d
become noticeably better at sensing others emotions and couldn’t help but think
Wilson would be proud of me. But for now, Cloe needed to protect herself.
“Do you remember back when you first became a vampire?” I
asked.
She looked far off into the distance as though grasping at
something just out of reach. But after a moment her eyes flashed and she came
back to me. She nodded, a glint of hurt inside her gaze.
“Do you remember how hard it was to control your new body? How
even the slightest movement was a struggle? How everything felt so foreign and
so new? Making your legs move without rushing miles ahead, turning a door
handle without ripping it off, keeping your fangs drawn in even at your worst
moment of anger?”
Cloe’s eyes glistened, weighing my words. She nodded slowly,
remembrance on her face. I continued.
“What if you could take the same learned control that helped
you become what you are, and manifest it in a different way? What if you could
transform it into a mental action rather than a physical one? A way that would
protect your thoughts and feelings.” I hoped what I was about to teach Cloe
wouldn’t be for naught, but in my heart I believed it would work. I didn’t wait
for a response, but placed my hands on the side of her smooth cheeks. “Now. Close
your eyes.”
She did so and took a deep breath. The sounds of chirping
crickets chimed all around us and the breeze whistled through the trees.
“Think of your worst fears,” I whispered. “Your deepest
dreams and strongest emotions. Pull them to the forefront of your mind. Give
them life.” Her lids twitched and her chest rose and fell softly with breath.
“Do you feel it?” I asked, and Cloe nodded, her eyes still
closed tight. “Take those feelings and emotions and group them together. Ball
them up tight and don’t let them run loose.” I sensed Cloe becoming calmer now,
her apprehension fading away. That was good.
“Now take that ball and make it disappear. Imagine it
vanishing into thin air, leaving nothing but a blank slate. Clear your mind
completely and leave nothing behind.” Cloe’s hair fluttered in the breeze, her
shoulders relaxed. The fear, pain, and anger I’d felt from Cloe before fled,
leaving a newfound peacefulness.
“You did it.” I said and her eyes shot open, studying me.
“I did?” she asked.
“Yes. I can’t sense anything from you except for serenity.
You’ve hidden your emotions away and no one will ever know what you are really
thinking, not even Horus. But you must continue to work on it because next time
you try, it might not be in such a calm setting. It might not be so easy.” I
couldn’t tell what Cloe was feeling, but by the expression on her face, she
looked happy and hopeful.
“Do you think it will really work? With Horus?” she asked. “As
vampires, we are sensitive to each other’s emotions. Horus is my maker and his
bond to me is even more powerful than anyone else’s. Do you think I could block
him out?”
I shrugged, unable to wipe the hopeful smile from my face.
“You won’t know until you try.”
Cloe took my hands in hers. “Thank you. For so long I’ve had
him looking over my shoulder, gleaning my thoughts and emotions like a parasite.
I may finally find some solace from him after all, even if only in my mind.”
The corners of my mouth curled into a smile. “I hope so.”
Cloe sighed and reached down to grab one of the laundry
buckets. She turned it over and dumped out the water. “Sunrise is approaching
fast. You’d better get back to Jax and Orie’s before curfew.”
“I guess you’re right,” I agreed, turning to go.
“Ruby,” Cloe called out causing me to swivel in place. She tangled
her fingers together. “I wasn’t so sure before, but now I think you’re right.
Things can always get better, even in the darkest of nights.”
I smiled and nodded, pleased for even the tiniest ray of
hope I may have given her. “Goodnight Cloe,” I said.
I felt her eyes following me as I left the park.