Broken Holidays: A Broken Series Novella (The Broken Series) (5 page)

Me: Actually, I decided to crash at Lizzie’s so he could be at home on Christmas morning.

The long silence that followed worried me, but I knew it probably meant she was writing a novel in response.

Paige: Okay, I hope to GOD you’re kidding. If you’re not, I’m going to need to borrow money from Nana and Poppy because my rent money will be spent on a plane ticket and I’ll probably need bail, too. Are you insane? What the FUCK are you thinking? I seriously should’ve come home when you left that cum dumpster and kicked her in the ovaries. You know she’s just using Conner to get to you!

I took a deep breath, trying not to get angry with her. Like Tish, she worried about me getting sucked back in by Lizzie. She’d tried, and nearly succeeded, to talk me out of the divorce. She wanted to go to counseling and work through our problems, but in the end, I followed through with my decision.

Me: I don’t need another lecture. Tish took care of that. I’m going to sleep. Night, Paige. Merry Christmas.

I shut off my phone, knowing she would reply and not wanting to deal with it. I wasn’t an idiot. I wouldn’t fall for Lizzie’s shit. I knew better.

Christmas was a holiday for families. That had always been my outlook. If it was meant to be like the pictures or the holiday movies on TV… well, I wouldn’t know. Holidays were always a chance for my parents to go overboard on decorations but we usually weren’t even home Christmas morning. There was always some exotic locale that they had to see, so my sister and I would spend the day with some glorified babysitter or with a group of kids our age who’d been dumped off by their parents for
group activities.

It didn’t surprise me that holidays weren’t big for Tish either. Zane was different; he had a kid. And unlike my parents, he seemed to care about what that meant. I knew Tish was pissed that Zane stayed at Lizzie’s house but I thought it was cool. I didn’t know Lizzie well, I’d only met her a few times when she came to pick up Conner, but I knew what she’d put Zane through. I understood where Tish was coming from, he worried about his brother, but I stayed out of it. It wasn’t my place to judge Zane’s choice and I actually approved of his decision to put his son first.

While the shop was closed on Christmas Day, Tish said I could come in the day after and hang out if I wanted to. It gave me an excuse to chill with Tony. We laughed as we discreetly eavesdropped on Tish and Kas, the newest artist in the shop, exchanging small gifts. I knew they’d been out a few times and seeing him nervous made me smile. Kas was keeping him on his toes and the more time I spent around her, the more I found she was a great match for Tish.

Overall, the week dragged. I was waiting until after New Year’s to start hunting for a new job because the madness of the crowds was still a little overwhelming. As much as I needed the mayhem of a city like this to stay hidden, it was still hard to adapt.

“Big plans tonight?” Zane asked as he dropped down onto the couch beside me. I glanced up from my phone, realizing I’d been grinning as I sent dirty texts to Tony. He was busy, out of town for a family emergency, but I’d been distracting him when he asked. I didn’t know what was going on and it wasn’t any of my business, I was just trying to make him laugh.

“Nope. I don’t really celebrate New Year’s any more than I do Christmas or Thanksgiving,” I answered honestly, reaching into the bowl of popcorn and frowning when I realized it was empty. I’d been all curled up and set to watch the fireworks on TV.

“New Year’s is an important one. You really don’t celebrate?” he asked, his tone subdued. He’d been quiet this week, spending most of his time away from the house except late at night. I’d only spoken to him a handful of times since our night out on Christmas Eve.

“Nope,” I said, not looking away from his quizzical stare.

“Get up,” he said suddenly, surprising me as he stood. “Come on.”

“What?”

He held out his hand to me. “Get up. We’re going out.”

I groaned. “I don’t feel like going out.” Getting dressed up and dealing with the sure to be packed bars and clubs on the Strip would take way more energy than I had. The week leading up to Christmas had been bad enough. I knew New Year’s would be insane.

“Nope. No complaining. Come on. We won’t be in the crowd, I promise. I want to show you one of my favorite places in Vegas. No one else will be there.”

He caught my attention and I let him pull me to my feet. “You’re really serious about this, huh?”

“New Year’s is important,” he repeated, nodding his head. “Go get your shoes on. We need to hurry.”

I did as he said, curious as to why New Year’s Eve, of all holidays, was important to Zane. I grabbed my jacket from the hook, rushing out the door as Zane tossed blankets in the backseat. I opened my mouth to make a joke but the look on his face stopped me. He was hurting. Something was really bothering him. I slid in the passenger seat, zipping up my hoodie as Zane headed toward the Strip. I knew the street was closed to traffic for the night so I wondered what he had up his sleeve.

When he pulled around a back street and parked in the lot of an abandoned building, I raised an eyebrow. “This is your favorite spot in Vegas?”

He chuckled. “No. We have to walk from here. Come on. Hurry.”

I looked at my phone. It was eleven-fifteen. As I practically jogged to keep up with him, I wondered where he was taking me that we were going to need forty-five minutes to get there from here.

He rounded a corner and headed into the bottom level of a parking garage. We walked up, taking the stairs to the top level. When the door opened, I was shocked. The lights of the Strip were visible to one side of us, but the view all the way around was spectacular. The mountains in the distance, the twinkling of city lights laid out along the flat desert, it was all gorgeous. But it was the quiet that made it surreal. There was no one up here but us. The hustle and bustle of people normally present
everywhere
in Vegas was completely absent on this level. All I could hear was the occasional faint car horn and the wind. I walked to the ledge, looking over.

In the direction of the Strip, I could see the movement of life but closer to us, there was almost no one. It was a crazy, somehow calming feeling, and exactly what I needed.

“So, what is it about New Year’s that’s so important?” I finally asked Zane. I knew he was close behind me, though he hadn’t spoken.

“First, here,” he said, causing me to turn and face him. He held out a bright red and white Santa hat, the match to the one he was wearing, and I burst out laughing. He grinned. “Shut up and put it on.”

I snatched the hat from his hand, pulling it over my head while I continued to laugh. “Aren’t we supposed be wearing those ridiculous paper things that have the new year on them?”

“Sure. If you want to freeze to death,” he said, shrugging. “This way, you’re warm.”

“Fair enough.” I tugged my hat lower, covering my ears. It was chilly this time of year and up here on the roof, the wind made it even colder. He was right; the Santa hat was definitely helping.

He dropped one of the blankets on the concrete and sat down, patting the spot beside him. I moved away from the edge and sat.

“Face that way,” he said, pointing in the opposite direction. I raised an eyebrow. “Just do it.”

“Okay.” I spun in the opposite direction and he laid back, facing up toward the sky. After a second of hesitation, I did the same, our heads directly beside each other as we stared up at the stars. I waited, wanting to ask him to explain but trying to be patient.

“New Year’s Eve is a chance to start over,” he finally said. “It’s a chance to put your mistakes behind you — air them out, get them off your chest, and leave them in the previous year. Fresh start.” He was almost rambling but I could tell he was building to something. “For me, this year has been a hard one. Not the worst in my life, but really fucking close. I’m so fucking ready for it to be over.”

He pulled his hand up, looking at his phone. I could barely make out the numbers upside down. Eleven-fifty. “I’m airing out my mistakes in hopes that I don’t make the same ones again. The biggest…” he hesitated, closing his eyes as I turned my head toward him. I was making it harder, so I looked back up at the sky. “The biggest was sleeping with Lizzie two nights ago.”

I couldn’t help but gasp, my head whipping to face him again.

“I know. I don’t fucking… I don’t know what happened. I spent time with her at Christmas and somehow…” he sighed, “she got to me again and I fucking hate myself for letting it happen. Nobody knows. I really don’t want to have to explain it to Tish or anyone.”

“I won’t say anything,” I whispered, focusing on the sky again. I had no right to the ache I felt from his words, but it was there, nevertheless. He was quiet again and I knew it was my turn. I could tell him about Tony. He wouldn’t judge me for it. But it wasn’t really a mistake. It was a secret, but it wasn’t something I regretted. There was something else I could tell him, something that I did want to let go of. I didn’t talk about my past to anyone, not even Tish, but I wanted Zane to know me. For some reason, I
needed
to say it. “I started this year as a prostitute.” I took a deep breath, having said the words in a rush.

I could feel him staring, but I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see the disgust or disapproval. “You… what? How?” he asked, his voice low and shocked. I knew what he was asking, or trying to figure out. How does anyone end up where I was at the end of last year? I don’t talk about my past but I’d brought it on myself by dropping something like that on him.

“One year ago today, I was in a shitty hotel room near downtown with a guy who smelled like a horrid mixture of beer and stale weed, trying to earn enough money to get out of the hole I’d dug for myself. It wasn’t the first time I’d given it up for money and it wasn’t the last,” I admitted, feeling as dirty as ever when I thought about it. It was a time in my life I wasn’t proud of, but I did what I had to do. “I don’t really know how it happened, but it was my biggest mistake of the year…” I sat up, feeling too vulnerable lying on my back. Zane moved, spinning until he was beside me. I looked over at him, surprised to see him searching my face without an ounce of disgust. “I want to start over,” I whispered.

He nodded slowly, his eyes still on mine. The sound of the first fireworks startled me and I flinched, glancing up to the sky. I sniffed, the cold making my nose numb, and Zane scooted closer, wrapping the blanket around both of us. I looked over at him, intending to thank him but he leaned down, stopping my words by lightly touching his lips to mine. It was just the tiniest brush of his lips, but I found myself leaning forward as he pulled away. He gave me a smirk and turned his face back up to the display overhead. I blinked, frozen in place for several seconds before looking up as well.

“What was that?” I asked, unable to help myself. I didn’t want to ask, to draw attention to it, but it left me thoroughly ruffled and confused.

He didn’t look away from the sky. “Everyone deserves a kiss at midnight. Happy New Year, Pixie.”

ONE YEAR LATER

“You’re serious?” The question came out before I could help it and I ran my hand over the back of my neck. The chick babbled on, something about her cousin and too much alcohol. The level of relief I felt when I saw a furious path being cut through the crowd by the angriest little pixie I knew was astronomical.

“Fuck,” I muttered, playing along and pretending just to notice Lili’s approach. I fought to disentangle the girl who was now clinging to me like a leech.

“Well, how do you like that?” Lili snapped in a surprisingly good southern drawl, stepping up to me as I continued trying to remove the woman’s hands from my body. “You know, when you told my momma that you would come back for me, she believed you. I knew you were a low-life, though.” I narrowed my eyes, watching her flip through her phone. She turned it toward both me and the appendage who wouldn’t take a hint; there was a picture of Conner on her screen. “He looks just like you, ya know? Everyone back home already knows he’s yours. Just like all the others. You should see the lawsuit we’re drawing up. Fifteen of us coming after you for child support so far and Sally still has her proof that you gave her chlamydia…” Lili trailed off as the girl made a break for the door, not even looking back. “Bye bye.” She waved, laughing.

I raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you take to using my son as a technique?”

“Hey, it worked,” she said, shrugging. “Move your ass.” She nudged me off my stool, slipping into my place when I relented. I’d seen her give up her spot in one of the back tables to come up here.

“Oh, Taylor,” she annoyingly sang the words to the bartender as she stood on the spokes of the stool, leaning over the bar. Every male head around us turned to stare at her ass. I caught myself before I shook my head. As Taylor approached, his expression looked stony. “Zane lost so he’s paying tonight. I want to start with a Crown and Coke.”

He didn’t speak as he made her drink and slid it across the bar, moving away quickly. I leaned in close to Lili. “Did you fuck the bartender?”

Her eyes flicked to Taylor and then back to me. “No. I don’t piss where I eat. Or drink, in this case. But he’s finally taking the hint that it’s not going to happen, I think.”

“A quick flash of your tits would probably make his year,” I said, watching as Taylor tried, unsuccessfully, to be casual as he glanced our way.

“Yeah, but I learned from your mistakes. Locals are more trouble than they’re worth.”

I laughed. “Those bitches were psycho. I mean, there’s crazy and then there’s just insane.”

“Aren’t all women insane?” she asked, laughing as she spun on the stool with her drink, facing out at the crowd. I didn’t answer. I didn’t have to. Lili knew as well as anyone what my history was with women. She knew I agreed.

She pulled out her phone with her free hand and I glanced around the room. When I heard her sigh, my eyes automatically came down toward her. She turned, typing furiously and then slammed her phone onto the bar, facedown. She tipped her head, swallowing the rest of her drink in just a few seconds. Waving to get the bartenders attention, she held out her glass and he nodded, indicating he’d get her another.

“Something wrong?” I asked, leaning down beside her so I wasn’t yelling. I could feel Taylor watching us. His jealousy was ridiculous. He should know by now that there was absolutely nothing romantic between Lili and I. He’d seen us around often enough by this point.

“Nope,” she said, giving me a wide smile. I didn’t believe her but Taylor arrived with Lili’s drink before I could object.

It didn’t take long for me to find a new interest. She was swaying her hips to the heavy beat coming from the poor quality speakers as she stood near a table of women. I watched her for a while, trying to decide if I was willing to push it and strike out again tonight with another crazy. As I was waiting, I heard Lili curse beside me.

Looking over, I spotted Tish walking in with a small group of people. I recognized the crew from the shop, remembering Tish mentioning that they might meet us here tonight after they closed. Tish had his arm around Kas as they made their way toward the bar and I grinned. It made me happy that Tish had finally found someone. They’d been dating less than a year, but I could tell they worked well together. It was about time he did something for himself. Following behind them were two of the other tattoo artists from the shop and the counter girls I barely recognized. They seemed to come and go pretty quickly around there. Bringing up the back of the group was Tony, the other owner of the shop.

I’d known Tony since I moved in with Tish. Apparently, they’d gone to school together and been inseparable back then, but I barely remembered that time. He was a constant in Tish’s life, though, and for that, I’d always respected him. Tish had a rough time dealing with the aftermath of our parents’ deaths, mainly in having to take on the role of caregiver to Paige and I, and Tony stuck by him. I didn’t want to make the comparison, but my mind did it anyway. Adam was my rock. He stuck by my side through my breakdowns, even when I didn’t deserve it. But he was also betraying me in one of the worst possible ways for who knows how long.

Honestly, I could’ve possibly forgiven Adam for sleeping with Lizzie. Over time, I might have been able to put it behind me. But the one thing I couldn’t overlook was his recent attitude. Over the last year, he’d gotten progressively worse, pushing to try to get a reaction out of me about Conner and anything else he could think of tossing in my face. I didn’t really know what changed, what caused this switch to be thrown to turn him into the asshole he’d become, but we’d almost come to blows on a few occasions.

“Problem?” Tony asked, breaking me out of my dark thoughts. I hadn’t realized I was staring at him; probably scowling, given the direction of memories.

“Sorry. Wasn’t about you,” I said, looking away, my eyes automatically finding the girl I’d been watching earlier. Apparently, I needed to get my thoughts back in line. I glanced back when I saw Tony moving closer.

“Wasn’t about me? I walk in here and you start glaring at me like you’ve got something to say. Spit it out,” Tony said, stepping toe to toe with me. I had several inches on him but he definitely had me in bulk. He was built like Tish, with the broad shoulders and imposing stance, but I wasn’t afraid of him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” I asked, not paying attention as I saw the others starting to walk up to where we stood.

“Whoa, back up a step,” Tish said, a hand on Tony’s shoulder. He shook it off, not looking away from me. “What’s going on here?”

Neither of us answered, but Tony tried to step forward again. I finally broke eye contact, looking away as small hands rested against my chest, pushing me gently backwards. “Move. Let’s go. You owe me another drink.”

I glanced back at Tony once before turning, taking Lili’s advice and heading back toward the other end of the bar with her. “What the fuck?” I muttered to myself, waving to the empty stool for Lili. She slid on, her eyes drifting to rest behind me, glaring. I started to turn, to check my back, but Lili stopped me, grabbing my arms to keep me facing her.

“Don’t. Just leave it, Zane,” she said, sighing. “He’s obviously out to start trouble tonight and you don’t need to get involved.”

“I don’t know what the fuck his problem is,” I said, glancing over my shoulder to where Tony and Tish were talking, neither looking in my direction.

“Hey.” Lili put her hand on my arm again to get my attention. “You still owe me, so buy me another drink.”

Nodding, I looked back down at her as she waved Taylor over again. She was several drinks in now and she leaned closer to him, laughing as she chatted and ordered her drink. He fell right into it. He obviously had a thing for her and as much as she said she didn’t want him, she seemed to string him along once she was drinking.

I turned my back to the bar, ignoring where I knew Tish and Tony to be as I went back to scanning the crowd of people. I couldn’t keep myself from watching him completely, though. He stayed at the table for the most part, one of the counter girls perched on his lap while he drank. It seemed like every time my eyes passed them, he was staring at me.

Lili sighed, drawing my attention back to her on my other side. She was scowling at her phone again. I waited until she put it down. “You know, you can talk to me. That’s what friends do.”

“I’m just…” she let out a frustrated huff as her phone screen lit up again. My gaze lowered automatically and caught the word ‘HIM’ in place of a name on the text alert. She flipped it over and rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she stared at a spot behind me. “Men can be just as fucking dramatic and crazy as women sometimes.”

“I find that hard to believe.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I leaned back, resting my elbows on the bar. She leaned into my side, shoving me with her shoulder as she smiled.

“I think I’m done for tonight. I need to get out of here,” she muttered, sliding off the stool. I started to follow but she shook her head. “You don’t need to come with me. The redhead about two seats down has been eyeing you for the last twenty minutes. Give her a chance. I hear good things about redheads.” She winked and headed toward the door, her words causing the distraction she was no doubt looking for as I looked away from her and toward the redhead instead.