Broken Glass (25 page)

“And who, exactly, do you think is crazier than
you
?” he teased, with a grin playing at the corner of his lips. I shrugged.

“Well, Aurelia is the first one that comes to mind,” I smiled slightly. “I’m surprised she hasn’t bugged me in like a week.”

“Ah, she only does it because she envies you,” he said. I laughed.

“Why on earth would she possibly envy me?” I asked him.

“You’ve got a big hope on getting better and getting out of here someday,” Conner replied. “I
think Aurelia knows she’s farther away from being better than you are.”

“Ha,” I looked away from him. “Getting better…what’s the use? There’s nothing waiting for me out there anyway.”

“What about your mother?” he asked. “Don’t you think she’s miserable with you in here?”

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times,” I
reminded him
. “I haven’t seen her in a couple months. She could care less about me.”

“You barely mention her to me, I’ve noticed,” he said, quietly. I shrugged.

“What’s the use?” I replied. “I don’t remember her.”

“How sad,” Conner’s voice was soft. “You don’t remember the woman who gave you life, but you can’t forget someone you only knew for, what, three years?”

I could tell by the look on his face that he instantly realized that he’d really crossed the line with that comment.

“I think you should leave,”
I told him, darkly. “I’m tired.
I think I’ll take a nap.”

His face was slightly red and he let his
head droop
, causing a dark curl to fall over his forehead.

“Ava,” he said, softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I’m tired,” I said again, s
till angry with him. “Go psycho
analyze someone else for once.”

He just sat there a moment, and I could feel his eyes on me, though I refused to look at him. Finally, without another word, he got up and left my room. A lump formed suddenly in my throat and my eyes began to sting with hot tears. I realized then why I was so angry with Conner. It wasn’t because what he’d said had been inappropriate…it was because it’d been completely and utterly true.

Suddenly, my door opened again and I was surprised to see Conner walk back in.

“I take my apology back,” he said, a little breathlessly.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“I take it back,” he repeated, his bright
green eyes locking on mine
. “I’m not sorry I said that to you abou
t Tyson. For the last four weeks
, I’ve been coming to see you every day, sometimes more than once. And 95% of everything you say goes back to that boy. It’s time someone told you the truth.”

“The truth?” I frowned, standing up. “What are you talking about?”

“The truth is, I don’t give a damn about Tyson Andrews,” he said. “I have been patient and quiet…I let you rant incessantly about him day in and day out
—
”

“Well, no one asked you to come here every day,” I interrupted him. “If you don’t like it, then just don’t do your intern evaluating bullshit on me anymore!”

“That other 5% of the time,” he went on, ignoring my outburst. “I see Ava Darton…and you know what? She’s not sick. She’s not crazy. She’s an absolutely wonderful woman…and she’s lost right now, but she’s stro
ng enough to find her way again.”

I just stared at him.

“You may talk to my mother about Tyson Andrews and you may talk to every other patient who’ll listen in this ward about Tyson Andrews,” he continued, his tone softening just a bit. “But not with me, not anymore. 95% of the time, I expect to see only Ava Darton.”

“Who do you think you are?” I asked him, huffily. “You’re not my therapist! If you don’t like what I have to say, then go bother somebody else!”

He took a few steps closer, so that he was only inches away from me. I realized then how much taller he was than me. His
slender
fra
me towered over me and the faint
smell of his cologne surrounded me. I couldn’t breathe.

“You can expect that I will be here when I do my rounds every day,” he murmured. “That’s part of my internship and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

I looked up at him, allowing my eyes to meet his hard stare. He was challenging me.

“All I have to do is tell your mother that I don’t want you coming to see me,” I hissed, rising to his challenge. I was surprised when a smirk fell upon his lips. He leaned forward suddenly, and I was sure my heart had stopped.

“You do that then, Ava,” he whispered, his warm breath on my face. “Tell her.”

Then, he turned and walked out of the room again.

I stood there for what seemed like hours, trying to get my heart back into normal rhythm.

I had to tell someone about Conner. So, later that evening, I wrote Channing a letter. I told her, in great detail, about everything that had gone on the last
few
weeks. Then I proceeded to ask her if she thought this friendship I was forming with Conner was a good idea. I hoped that she’d write me back immediately. I practically ran to the nurse’s station and asked Josephine if she could mail out my letter as soon as possible. She went right away and I was relieved. Hopefully, Channing would respond to my letter instantly and tell me everything I expected…that it was not a good idea to talk to Conner so much and that I should tell Julianne to have him banned from my room during his internship. I had the right mind to go ahead and do it, just to spite him for trying to challenge me earlier. But I knew never seeing or talking to him again was
a thought I dared not visit
. In truth, I didn’t know what I wanted.

I woke up the next morning in a strange mood. When I ate breakfast with Henry and Shakespeare, I barely said three words, and they took notice.

“What’s wrong with you this morning?” Shakespeare asked me. I shrugged, pushing my eggs around my plate.

“I guess it’s my meds,” I lied. “I feel crappy.”

“Why do
n’t you take it easy today
?” Henry suggested. “We can work on the decorations tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s right!” I groaned. “I’m sorry, Henry, I forgot we were doing that today.”

“It’s really okay,” he smiled. “The party really isn’t for another week and a half. We’ve got time.”

“Hey, we’re supposed to dress up,” Shakespeare said. “What are you guys wearing?”

“Josephine’s letting me borrow one of her son’s suits,” Henry replied.

“Yeah, I think my uncle’s bringing me my tux from junior prom,” Shakespeare grinned. “Hopefully it still fits.”

“What are you wearing, Ava?” Henry asked. “Any old prom dresses?”

“I hadn’t even thought about it,” I admitted. “Maybe I’ll talk to my mom between now and then…anyway, I think I’m going to go to my room and lie down. I’ll see you guys later.”

No sooner had a lay down in my bed, there was a knock on my door. I knew who it was before he even came into the room.

“Hey,” Conner said, pleasantly. My eyes were open, but I didn’t move my head to look at him.

“Hey,” I replied, in a quiet voice.

“Are you sick?” he asked, walking over to my bed. I glanced up at him. He was brightly dressed today in a lime green shirt that hurt my eyes.

“No,” I sighed, uncurling from the fetal position and stretching out on my back.

“Then what’s wrong with you?” he asked me, frowning. He reached out and lay his hand on my forehead. I shivered suddenly, his touch sending chills through my body.

“Hmmm,” he said, moving his hand away. “You don’t have a fever, but you’re really flushed.”

I bit my bottom lip, afraid I would cry any moment.

“Ava, what is it?” he was concerned now and sat down on the bed beside me. I hesitated, wondering if I should answer him.

“I didn’t dream about Tyson last night,” I said finally, not looking at him. He didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I know you don’t want to hear any more about him…but I’ve never gone a night since he died without seeing him in my sleep, whether it be a dream or a nightmare. But last night, I
just slept
.”

I waited for him to rip into me again for saying Tyson’s name, but instead, he reached out and placed his warm hand over mine.

“You know, I loved a girl once,” he said, his voice so low that I could barely hear him. “Her name was
Drita
. She was Italian…very beautiful. One day, she just up and ran off with some rich Italian mobster guy and eloped. I saw her in my dreams every single night for a year. But then, suddenly, it just stopped.”

“Why?” I asked him, sitting up. “Why do you think it stopped?”

“My father was diagnosed with cancer,” he said, slowly. “And I saw my mother just crumble. That’s when I realized I wasn’t the only person in the world who’d had his heart broken…and I knew my heart was never as broken as my mother’s was when she found out her husband was dying.”

I hurt for him in that moment, forgetting all about my own heartache. I realized our hands were still touching and I wrapped my fingers around his, giving a gentle squeeze.

He looked up at me, his
eyes locking with mine yet again. Why was this happening? Why was it so easy for me to let him in? It wasn’t right. It couldn’t be right.

I moved my hand from his and looked away. I couldn’t let him in any further. It had to stop.

“Why do you think you didn’t dream about him?” Conner asked me, very quietly. I didn’t answer him. I didn’t answer him because I knew why. It wasn’t that I hadn’t dreamed at all…it was just that I’d dreamed about someone else besides Tyson and my soul was overridden with guilt. I knew by the look on his face that Conner knew. He knew it’d been him in my dream instead of my lost love.

But he didn’t push it. Instead, he got up from the bed and walked over to the door.

“I can’t stay long today, Ava,” he sighed. “I’ve got to sit in on a sanity evaluation upstairs in one of the tough wards. I’ll probably be stuck up there all day.”

“Well, I’ll probably end up having to work on decorations for the
New Year’s
party with Henry,” I rolled my eyes. “At least you get to sit in on something interesting.”

He smiled, the dimples cutting deeply into his cheeks.

“See you later, Ava,” he winked and left the room.

I put my hand to my face and discovered that my cheeks were hot. I lay back down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. What was happening to me?

I didn’t see Conner for the next two days. I tried to busy myself with working on decorations with Henry, but it didn’t do much good. Channing hadn’t written me a letter back, either. I was antsy all the way around.

I wanted so badly to casually ask Julianne in our therapy sessions where Conner was, but I knew I couldn’t. She’d suspect something.

I was pleasantly surprised that second day of not seeing Conner when Julianne told me I had a visitor. I expected my mother to be sitting in the lobby area when I walked out there, but instead, I saw Channing standing there, beaming.

“Channing!” I grinned, running to her and throwing my arms around her.

“Whoa!” she laughed. “So you miss me, huh?” I pulled away and looked at her.

“You have no idea,” I was smiling from ear to ear. “Gosh, you look so great! You’re practically glowing! What are you doing here? Did you get my letter?”
She did look wonderful, much more so than I would have ever expected. Her hair was fuller, longer, and there was this healthy flush about her cheeks. Maybe the real world wasn’t as bad as she’d made it out to be.

She
smiled
and we both sat down on one of the sofas. She pulled a duffle bag off the floor and placed it in her lap.

“That’s why I’m here,” she said. “And I brought you something.” She unzipped the bag and pulled out a bundle of baby pink silk fabric.

“What is it?” I asked her and she laughed again.

“It’s a dress,” she replied. “For the
New Year’s Eve
party. I figured you didn’t ha
ve one.” She unfolded it and laid
it out for me to see. It was strapless and looked to be floor-length with glittering silver thread sewn perfectly into the silk.

“It’s beautiful!” I exclaimed, touching it gingerly.

“I have to give it to Julianne,” she frowned, putting it back in the bag. “She’s holding onto everyone’s outfit until the party since it’s against the rules to have it in your room.”

“Channing, it’s gorgeous,” I whispered. “Thank you so much. Are you coming to the party?”

“I’ve been invited,” she smiled. “Maybe. I’m not sure yet.”