Broken & Burned (27 page)

“Since we did first I think.” I said. Another mistake I’d made, I never should have presented it that
Everett
was the one that wanted the dude that shot her Out Bad. Fuck! I’d fucked up! Dragging her into this was our fault as much as the Suicide Kings’ fault. Trigger echoed out loud what I’d just been thinking…

“Yeah, well. Irish was the one who got shot, so it was only right she have a say. We fucked up showing that particular card, we should have presented it better. Fuck. We opened the door and they just walked right on through! She never should have had to see that.” Trig shook his head and took a thoughtful pull on his cigarette, the tip flaring bright.

“And the wheel makes another turn.” My dad said, snapping me out of what was promising to turn into a full scale brood.

“Yeah.” Trig agreed somberly and they were right. With a new crew in town, the odds were that things would change. It was the nature of MC’s that you could only stay friendly with another one for so long before some kind of beef came up. Could be weeks, months or years before it happened but reality dictated that eventually, some shit would go down between clubs and we wouldn’t be so friendly anymore. Our ‘friendship’ with the Suicide Kings couldn’t really even be called that. At best we were aware of each other and Sacred Hearts was merely tolerating their presence near our territory in order to keep an eye on them and their activities near our lands.

“On that depressing note…” I said and stubbed out my cig in the glass ash tray across the table.

“Where you gonna sleep?” My Pops asked.

“Out in the car, I’ve done it before.” I said.

“Take my room. Ash and I ‘ll take Reaver’s, he won’t mind us in there.” I looked at him, we were total opposites in looks, him all bright and shiny Nordic and me all deep and dark and Latin. I’d never seen the inside of Trig’s club room.

“Thanks man.” I said and he held out his hand. I clapped my hand into it and gripped it the way you would if you were going to arm wrestle before letting it go.

“That’s another thing we gotta do. Get the rest of this place in shape to house everybody. I’m tired of it being only a third of the way livable.” My Pops complained. I nodded wearily. I heard that.

I trudged in the direction of Trigger’s room and paused outside the door to mine. I could hear Ashton’s voice muffled and so very mouse quiet as she spoke to Everett.

“I love him.” I heard Everett say, and my heart lifted. “I just wish he’d told me another time, either before all of this, or not at all… I don’t know, it’s just too much right now.” I rested my forehead against the door frame and let out the breath I’d been holding ever so slowly. Maybe my dad was right and this could be saved, maybe he wasn’t, either way I wasn’t going down without a fight. It wasn’t the Sacred Hearts way. I trudged to Trigger’s door and opened it hitting the overhead light.

Jesus. The man was a fucking minimalist. He hadn’t painted, changed the carpet,
nothing.
The bed was neatly made if shabby, the sheets white and the blanket one of those thin, shabby, institution felt ones. Whatever, a bed was a bed and I was fucking beat. I flipped out the light and flopped across it on my stomach, comforted by the weight of my jacket and cut. The club, my father and my brothers would get me through if shit went south with Em. Of that I had no doubt. Maybe I was being fatalistic that things wouldn’t work out but I could say one thing for sure, if I lost her, she’d be taking one hell of a chunk of my heart with her and I knew I would never see it back again.

Strange thing was I was totally cool with that, but that was something to be analyzed another day. Oh, say, when Hell froze over. I closed my eyes and passed the fuck out within a couple of minutes, welcoming the oblivion with open fucking arms.

Everett…

I lay there, staring at the ceiling for a long moment after he left. He’d looked so
destroyed
when he’d gone, like a little boy who’d just been told there was no such thing as miracles and I hadn’t meant that. I’d just meant that I needed some time to process everything. I thought too much had been happening with Jerry and his cheating and suddenly finding myself homeless and wanting another man so quickly… I never dreamed I would be shot! I never dreamed that in less than a full day I would be shot, that my ever being able to dance again would be torn from me, the hope that I would be given back, be under the care of an outlaw motorcycle gang, see
another
man shot and have the person I loved the most in the world decide that as soon as I was done losing my dinner over that, that it would be a good time to tell me plainly that he’d killed another man.

My thoughts broke and my mind scattered and I cried, the first ugly wrenching sob tearing out of my chest. I covered my face with my hands. God! I was so sick of
crying!
I suddenly missed my da’ with a fierce deep ache and wanted so badly for him to be there, to give me some of his practical wisdom to cling to, to ruminate over, to fit all of this into nice neat little compartments so it didn’t seem so big, scary, ugly and
confusing
. Mostly I wanted to wipe that broken look of pain from Dray’s face as he’d gotten up abruptly and left me.

Oh God what had I done!?

“Oh honey no, what happened!?” Ashton’ soft voice broke through my noisy cry and her slight weight dipped the edge of the bed. She hugged my head and shoulders to her chest and I collapsed and just gave myself over to the howling, raging crying clawing its way up and out of my throat.

“Gonna find Dray.” I heard Trigger say from the door and then heard it shut. Ashton smoothed my hair and rocked me.

“It’s okay Everett,” she said gravely, “Just let it out, just let it all out.” So I did, in great hiccupping sobs, my face painted red and blotchy, salty and slick with my tears. My nose started to run and Ashton thrust tissues from the box on the nightstand into my hand. I blew my nose and the emotional shit storm started to abate.

“What happened?” She asked me, her face stricken with the need to make it better. Ashton would make a beautiful mother someday.

“He told me everything! Just, everything and it’s too much! It’s just too much!” I cried.

“Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh. What did Dray tell you?” Ashton asked gently and I quailed.

“Oh. He told you about
that
then.” She said and I swallowed.

“He said he killed your husband. Him and Reaver.” I sniffed and Ashton nodded.

“Yes, but they did it to protect me,” she said and shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t understand, I guess I don’t fully understand why… or what happened.” I said truthfully, hoping desperately against hope that it would make a difference. How could I have not seen that Dray was a killer too!? I’d grown up around them all my life, I should have seen it! Shouldn’t I? I mean I’d
suspected
at one point but… I sighed. Who was I kidding? I hadn’t wanted to believe it. Not really. Ashton took my hands in hers and sighed too.

“Chadwick Granger was a beautiful monster…” she started. She told me all about it. How she and Trigger had met on the side of the road, how he’d brought her here, seen to her injuries at the hands of her husband, sheltered her, protected her, fed and clothed her, how he’d taken her on as a project and had given her everything she’d needed to
grow
, outside of the shadow of her husband, but also about how that shadow was impossible to escape.

“He sent people impersonating police to our door to tell me Ethan was dead, they sent men to hurt Ethan, and he and Reaver had to fight them. Finally, my husband’s head of security broke down our door, beat me bloody, broke my bones and tried to take me back to Chadwick and he succeeded.” She swallowed before continuing.

“I don’t remember most of it, he injected me with something in the car on the way over, but Ethan, Reaver, Dragon and Dray; they came and got me. Took me back. It was what made us decide that Chadwick was crazy, the things he said to them… He wasn’t going to stop. I was his property and he would hurt or kill them all and… and…” she pulled some tissues from the box and wiped her eyes taking in a deep breath. This still affected her as much as hearing it was affecting me. Her hands shook as she placed them in my own and we clung to each other’s hands as we weathered the storms our emotions wrought within us. I suddenly need to hear this, all of it because if what Ashton was saying was true, and it rang true to my ears, Reaver and Dray had done the world a service. Cold? Yes, but also practical and true.

“So Dray killed this man in order to save you?” I asked.

“Honestly Everett, I don’t think Dray saved just me from Chadwick. He saved everyone in this club. Chadwick was crazy and the more his perceived power grew, so did his insanity. He left me on the side of the road the night Ethan saved me fully expecting that I would meet his unrealistic expectations, that I would walk miles and miles home barefoot in a skimpy party dress and that I would make it there by morning. That life would go on and it would just be another of many corrections I was forced to endure because I didn’t quite fit the framework he had laid out for me in his mind… If Ethan hadn’t come, I would have never made it. I would have died of exposure. That never occurred to Chadwick, or if it did, he didn’t care. What’s more, he never even dreamed someone like Ethan would come along. He was more furious about his image being ruined in the local media than he was about whether I lived or died. Like I said, I was simply property to him. Like a car, or a piece of furniture.” She shrugged and looked so sad.

“This was on the news?” I asked.

“Some of it. Not all.” She nodded.

“You’ll have to forgive me.” I murmured pulling my laptop into my lap. Ashton gave me a brilliant smile.

“Not at all, it’s smart of you to check your facts and I understand completely. The story is pretty fantastical. At first, when I didn’t turn up, it was Chadwick who went to the media stating that I had disappeared after we’d had an argument. It was last March.” I did a Google search and Ashton’s smiling face, tight around the edges came up on one of the local news station outlets. The first story was as she’d said, Chadwick spinning tales about how he and she had argued and she’d demanded to be let out of the car. How he’d driven off angry and returned to find her missing.

She slipped out of the room and returned quickly as I went to the next article proclaiming that Ashton had gone to the police and charged her husband with abuse. She sat down beside me and handed me photographs which she pulled from the inside cover of a handwritten journal.

“These were taken by Ethan and Doc the night he found me.” She said and they were horrible. Her feet were bloody and scraped, her dress, a barely there affair providing nothing in the way of cover against the elements. Her lips were tinged blue from the cold in the photos and the swelling and bruising painted her pale skin in splotches of purple and black that made my stomach roil. I swallowed hard and handed them back before I looked through them all. I couldn’t finish. She took them and I went through news articles and a few more television interviews about his suicide. He’d apparently been a fairly prominent defense attorney in the area.

I closed the lid of my laptop and scrubbed my face with my hands, Ashton set it on the floor within reach, beside the bed for me. I looked at her.

“Why tell me all of this?” I asked her. She sighed.

“Can I ask you something first?” she chewed her lip.

“Go ahead.”

“How do you feel about Dray?”

“I love him.” I said, and it was true, that hadn’t changed not at all. “I just wish he’d told me another time, either before all of this, or not at all… I don’t know, it’s just too much right now.” Which was true too. Ashton smiled like she’d won some sort of prize.

“Dray is a good man at the heart of it all and I think you two complement each other quite well.” Ashton grinned, “We just really have to work on his timing of things.” I laughed and her expression grew serious again, all levity gone.

“Dray doesn’t open up to many people Everett. I’ve barely scratched his surface and that’s okay. We love Dray for who he is, still, he needs to open up to
somebody
, and if he loves you enough to do it… Please take that into consideration before either of you do anything drastic.” I stared at her dumbly.

“Ashton, I… I love Dray. I don’t give up that easily. Hell I was with Jerry for
four years!
Dray is a million times the man Jerry ever was. I’m just… overwhelmed and when Dray decided to tell me everything… well it was one straw too many for this camel’s back to hold.” I sighed out, a harsh exhalation of air. A slight knock came at the door and Trigger poked his head in.

“Everything okay?” he asked. Ashton smiled at him like he was her whole world and then some and it was a beautiful sight to see. I had a sudden and new appreciation for the big man.

“Is Dray all right?” I asked and chewed my lower lip apprehensively. Trigger smiled like suddenly
he
won the prize.

“Drunk as fuck and sleeping it off in our room. I was just poking my head in to tell Ashton we’re staying in Reave’s.” he said. I sighed out in relief and he continued, “Not going to lie pretty girl, you scared the fuck out of him. He thinks it’s all over between you two and he broke it past fixing. I think you two need to have a talk in the morning.”

“Give me my crutches.” I demanded and his eyebrows went up.

“Where are you going?” Ashton wondered aloud.

“Your room.” I said and started leaning over the side of the bed, reaching for the smooth aluminum of the nearest crutch. Ashton sat frozen, speechless I think, but I’d made up my mind and once I’ve done that, good luck getting me to change it! Mandy would have given me the damned devices without a backwards glance. I missed her.

“If you don’t freaking give me the damned crutches I’m going to combat crawl my way over there! See if I won’t!” I snapped and Trigger laughed and opened the door wider.

“Here, stop, you’re going to hurt yourself!” I pushed my way back up onto the bed and gasped. Too late, my leg hurt like a bitch! Ashton got up and moved out of his way.

“Careful Ethan, she might bite you.” She joked and I smiled.

“Here girl, put your arms around my neck.” He ordered and stooped. I did and he slid an arm around my back, the other beneath my knees and lifted with his legs like I weighed nothing. My eyebrows went up.

“I feel sorry for the poor bastard you have a need to hit in the face.” I commented dryly. Trigger grinned.

“I’m a pacifist Baby. God made me all big and scary ‘cause I’m all marshmallow inside.” I snorted.

“Me da’ would say ‘bullshite’ and ‘if God went around hugging liars, he’d break every bone in your body.’ You go ahead and keep telling yourself whatever you want to believe though.” I said as he moved us out into the hall, sideways through the doorway. His footfalls were heavy as he moved to his door, Ashton opened it for him, the rectangle of light falling onto Dray who lay on his stomach, the patches on his cut illuminated by the light from the hall. I grinned.

“Isn’t that a picture?” I asked. Trigger laughed a little.

“Go easy on my VP. His heart is missing in action, says he gave it to this girl, the whole thing, and doesn’t even know when it happened.” I blinked at him and his expression wasn’t joking anymore. “I need to set you down so I can move him.” He murmured and I contemplated the situation and shook my head.

“Just set me down at the foot of the bed there, I’ll scoot myself up and you can lift his head for me.” I said. Trigger shrugged a shoulder and did what I said. I sat at the foot of the bed and was grateful I’d been shot in the left leg so I could do what I wanted. I scooted up until my back rested against the wall. I took several deep breaths and waited for the pain to subside before putting a pillow behind my back and another in my lap.

“Lift his upper body.” I said and Trig slid an arm under Dray’s shoulders across his chest and lifted. I scooted over just a bit and laid Dray’s head on top of my right thigh. He was passed out cold and didn’t even stir.

“You good Irish?” Trig asked.

“Yes, thank you.” I smoothed Dray’s hair back out of his face and rested my head back against the wall. It was going to be a long night but I needed to be near him as much as he needed me.

“Night.” Trig grunted and shut the door behind him and Ashton. I was plunged into darkness absolute, lap weighted where Dray rested against my thigh. He didn’t move all night. I slept off and on and thought about things when I was awake. The room lightened with the rising sun where it seeped in around the blinds and it was early still when Dray stirred. It started with a little jerk and a sharp intake of breath, I petted his thick hair, smoothing my hand over it and he looked up at me with bleary eyes.

“Hi.” I said softly.

“Hey.” He said back and looked around to make sure he was in the right room.

“You’re stupid.” I told him flatly and he frowned.

“Why?”

“I love you, you dumb asshole! Just because I need a minute to parse through the dump truck of shitty emotions I’m feeling,
which
I might add, your timing on adding to them sucked balls! Does not mean that I’m leaving you or that we’re broken. It just means I need a minute to be alone and get my shit together.” His lips curled into a smile and he laid his head back down carefully the way it’d been which meant he was looking away from me.

“You’re right on one thing Em.” He said dryly.

“What’s that?”

“I’m a dumb asshole. A very sorry dumb asshole. Forgive me?” he asked. I huffed a small laugh.

“Yes… Why does this feel like our first fight when we aren’t even fighting?” I asked.

“Uh, let’s see. I’m used to what went down last night, you aren’t, and instead of being there for you and making it better my dumb ass decided no, wait, this is the perfect opportunity to get
this
off my chest. Which just shoved you away and made things worse. I’d say you’ve got the right to be mad about that Babe.” He sighed, and I felt it rather than heard it.