Broken (4 page)

Chapter 4

As I rushed through the
lobby, trying to contain my emotions, I nearly took the bathroom
door off its hinges as I opened it.
Holy
Fucking Shit!
I screamed in my head. I
immediately ran into the handicapped stall and started pacing back
and forth in a complete panic. I tried to keep my tears from
running down my face. The last thing I needed was to look all red
and blotchy.

How could this be happening? Not only
was I stuck at a wedding with a bunch of bitches, but Garrett, the
love of my life, who smashed my heart into a million little pieces,
he was here with the douche of honor.

I stopped pacing, leaned up against
the stall door, and began to take deep breaths to calm
myself.

I searched for my cell phone in my
camera bag and immediately sent a text to Nicole.

Me--

You are never going to
believe who is at a wedding that I am getting ready to shoot right
now. . . . Garrett is here! What the fuck am I going to do? I’ve
locked myself in a bathroom stall and I am texting you. Want to
know what is even better about this? He is here with the fucking
maid of honor! Fuck my life!

My phone went off almost
instantly.

Nicole--

Are you shitting me right
now? He is there? Where has he been? How does he look? Is he dating
her or just her date at the wedding? Why didn’t you just call
me?

Me--

I didn’t call because I am
freaking the fuck out! The last thing I need is someone walking
into the bathroom while I am talking shit about Bridezilla and the
douche of honor. I only spoke with him briefly. He says he is here
with her. That he is not dating her. I am pretty sure he is in the
Marines or something cuz he’s in uniform. By the way he looks
amazing!

Nicole--

#1 -- Calm the fuck down.
#2 – Please God tell me you look hot!

Me--

Well, to say I look hot. .
. .LMFAO!! I nearly passed out when I realized it was him. I’m not
sure how I am looking. Best description would probably be Hot
Mess.

Nicole--

It is going to be ok.
You’re going to be fine. Stop panicking and pull yourself together.
You need to march your ass back out there and talk to
him.

Me--

I can’t go and talk to
him. I should be heading back to the bridal suite to take these
fucking pictures. Why does this always happen to me?

Nicole--

Do you get a break? Any
chance you can sneak away and talk to him?

Me--

I got to go. I’ll try to
text you later on and keep you updated.

I put my phone back in my
camera bag, pulled myself together, and left the bathroom stall. I
walked over to the mirror to see exactly what I looked like. “Holy
Hell!” I said
out loud. “What a way to
make an impression with Garrett, Leila,” I muttered as I stared
into the mirror. I leaned over the vanity to get a better look at
myself. “Damn, you look like death warmed over.” I placed my camera
bag on the counter and dug around for my lipstick, blush and
eyeliner hoping they would help with my situation. The only thing
that was going to help me was a Christmas Miracle, and I was shit
out of luck because it was only September.

Thoughts of our meeting were running
through my head. Boy, I could have handled that better. I’d
rehearsed what I would say to him in my head probably a million
times. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, so many
things I wanted to tell him.

Garrett was the last person I had ever
expected to see at a wedding I was working. He had pretty much
fallen off the face of the earth after our break-up. Our mutual
friends never once mentioned his name to me.

After Garrett left, I cut myself off
from the world. I refused to leave my room for almost three months.
My mother got so worried about me. She started to bring my food to
my room and would sit there and watch me eat. I would speak to no
one, not even Nicole. She must’ve called and texted fifty times a
day. Some days I would just hit ignore on my phone while others, I
would just shut it off completely. I was lucky if I slept three or
four hours a night. I had lost almost ten pounds, and I looked like
a zombie.

Then one day Nicole staged her own
form of an intervention. . . .

Nicole showed up at my
doorstep in August. I was lying on my bed staring at pictures of
Garrett and me, as I did every day. She must have rung the doorbell
a hundred times. Eventually, she came around to the back of my
house and stood directly under my window. She began to scream at
the top of her lungs “Leila, if you don’t open that god damned
door, I’m going to kick it in!”

I went to the window and
opened it up. “Go away!” I shouted and slammed the window back
down.

“
No, I’m not going to go
away. You’ve sat up in your room feeling sorry for yourself long
enough. You are either going to let me in or I will kick the door
down,” she yelled back at me.

I could tell by the tone
in her voice she meant what she said. I emerged from my room and
ran down the stairs worried she was actually going to kick in my
door. I was also worried my neighbors were going to call the
police.

I flung the door open and
she was leaning up against the doorframe with her arms across her
chest. “Well, it’s about fucking time,” she snapped.

She pushed her way past me
and marched into my kitchen, and I followed her. She lifted herself
up onto the kitchen counter. She looked downright furious. “Alright
Leila, enough is enough. I know he broke your heart, but you have
to move on. You are supposed to start WSU in three
weeks!”

I looked at her, hung my
head and said shamefully, “I’m not going.”

“
Excuse me? I think I may
have heard you wrong. Did you just say you are not
going?”

“
Yeah, you heard me. I am
not going!” I said with a bit more confidence in my
voice.

“
Oh, you’re fucking
going!” She said as she launched herself off the counter, making
her way to my side of the kitchen. “If I have to personally move
into the dorms with you and walk you to every single one of your
classes, I will.”

I gave her a funny look
and started to laugh.

She stepped closer to me
and put her arm around me. “I love you, Leila. But you really need
to get your shit together. This is no way to live your life. . .
.”
A noise from in the lobby woke me from
my daydream. I gave myself a long look in the mirror, made sure I
was presentable and headed towards the bridal suite. I knew I had
to be cordial to Susan and Marie even if it was going to kill me.
Katie’s reputation was on the line, not mine. I knocked on the door
and then poked my head through.

“
Hi, Susan,” I said
politely. “Are you ready to put your dress on?”

She glanced at the door and snapped,
“Yes.”

I entered the room and I
immediately felt the animosity between Susan, Marie and
myself.
Christ, are these two really going
to be bitches all fucking day?

Chapter 5

The rest of the day went fairly well.
I tried to be as nice as possible to the douche twins and kept a
fake smile plastered on my face at all times. I also tried to keep
my distance from Garrett. Although, he was Marie’s date, he was not
in the bridal party, and for the most part, he was hanging around
the bar while I was taking the formal pictures of the wedding
party. He came over from time to time to see if Marie needed or
wanted anything. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered into
her ear. She gave out an obnoxious loud cackle that made everyone
turn their attention to them. I glanced their way and noticed his
eyes were on me, and I quickly looked away.

A few more times during the day, I
caught him looking at me. The butterflies in my stomach went crazy.
It truly amazed me that after all this time he still could havethat
effect on me. I could tell by the look in his eyes and the tone in
his voice that he had quite a few drinks already. I was always able
to tell when he’d been drinking, even if he only had one. He had
always been blown away by that and called it one of my many
talents...

Seeing him like that made
me think about the time we went out for our first Valentine’s
Day
.

We’d been dating for about
three months. Garrett opted not to go to college when he was hired
to work full-time at a local paper company. Though it was within
walking distance from his house, he saved up enough money to buy a
car. It wasn’t anything fancy. Actually, it was kind of beat up,
but it got him from point A to point B and that was all that
mattered. Usually his point A was his house and his point B was my
house.

He called me and told me
he was on his way to pick me up, and that he had something special
planned for us. Right off the bat, I could tell something was
different about his voice. When he showed up at my house, I could
smell stale beer on him. I pushed him out of the door and yelled to
my mom that I would be home by eleven. I ran to his car and jumped
in the driver’s seat, even though I only had my learner’s permit at
the time. I was not going to let him get busted for a DUI, when I
could drive perfectly fine.

I turned to him and
started yelling
,
“Are you crazy? You’re driving after you’ve been drinking?
It’s Valentine’s Day you know, the cops are going to be out in full
force! And you are not even old enough to be drinking!”

“
Come on, Babe. Don’t be
mad,” he said with an adorable smirk on his face. He reached over
and grabbed my hand, brought it to his mouth and kissed the back of
it.

I looked over at him. With
a big smile on my face I said, “God, I hate you. . . Where are you
taking me anyway?”

“
It’s a
surprise.”

“
Well you might want to
tell me about this surprise since I’m now the one
driving.”

“
Alright, drive to Wales
Park,” he replied.

“
Wales Park? It’s freaking
freezing out and you want to go to a park?” I asked with doubt in
my voice.

“
Don’t worry, Babe, I’ll
keep you warm,” he winked and gave me a huge smile which made me
laugh.

Let’s be clear here, even though I was
only sixteen, Garrett was not my first sexual partner. Most kids my
age were experimenting with drugs and booze and then there was me,
experimenting with sex. So I knew exactly what he meant by "keeping
me warm".

“
Oh, really? And what
makes you think I want you keeping me warm?” We pulled into the
park and I found a spot near the railroad tracks. He took my hand
and pulled me closer to him. He put his face up against mine and
took a deep breath.

“
God, I love the smell of
your hair,” he said as he nuzzled his face into my hair.

I pushed him away. “You’re
just saying that to get in my pants,” I said grinning from ear to
ear.

He reached around me into
the back seat of the car and pulled out a gift bag. I gave him a
puzzled look.

“
Happy Valentine’s Day,
Babe,” he said.

“
You said no presents,” I
said, slapping his chest.

“
No, I said, I didn’t want
you buying me any presents. I didn’t say anything about me not
getting you something. Plus, I made it. It didn’t cost me
anything.”

As I went to put my hand
inside the bag he said, “Be careful it may cut you.”

I gave him a puzzled look
and reached into the bag. I pulled out a heart made of barbed wire
that was painted red.

“
Do you like it?” He asked
excitedly.

“
I love it!” I wrapped my
arms around him to give him a big hug.

He slowly moved away from
me and looked me dead in the eyes. “Babe, I need to tell you
something.”

I felt my heart skip a
beat, my palms began to sweat and I was feeling anxious. “What?” I
said as my voice cracked.

“
Why are looking so
nervous?” He laughed.

“
Because. . . You’re
freaking me out!”

He ran his hands through
my hair and exhaled. “These past few months have been amazing. I’ve
never felt like this about any other girl.”

I swallowed hard, not
knowing what to say or do. As I began to speak he put his fingers
over my lips.

“
Shhh. . . Let me finish.
Leila, I’ve never told anyone this before. . . I love
you.”

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I jerked around to see Tony the DJ standing there.

“
Are you all set with
taking pictures? It’s almost time for the bride and groom to be
announced.”

“
Yes, I’m all
set.”

“
Great!”

Once Tony gathered the
bridal party together and got them in line for their introductions,
I made my way into the reception hall. My eyes scanned the room,
looking for Garrett. I found him standing with a group of guys by
the bar. It appeared as if they were doing tequila shots.
I shot him a smile and kept walking. He returned the smile and went
back to drinking. I checked my watch. It was almost 5:30pm.
Ok.
You can do this,
only four more hours. You‘re doing good.