Bridge Over the Atlantic (28 page)

His words cut her to the quick. She dropped her arms from his body. She couldn’t help thinking he was trying to convince himself of his words.

She pulled out a chair and sat down suddenly feeling light headed. “What? Why? What’s happened? Did I say something wrong?”

He looked up at her and smiled that smile filled with sadness again. “You were…you are perfect.”

“Then what’s the problem? Is it…is it because I didn’t sleep with you?” She regretted her words immediately.

Greg understandably took offence at the question and stood, knocking over his chair. “How could you even
think
that? Let alone say it out loud?”

“Okay, okay, it was uncalled for, I’m sorry. You’ve been the perfect gentleman. I didn’t mean it. But please tell me what has made you change your mind?”

“There are things you don’t know about me; things about my past.”

“Greg, we have time to get to know about each-others pasts.” She was feeling panicked again.

He shook his head.

“Greg, why now? Why go through all that shit yesterday and then do this now?” she shouted at him, her voice breaking.

“I had a call this morning. While you were sleeping.” Dread washed over her, was it Mairi? Was she alive? She didn’t dare ask.

“And this call made you not want me anymore?” She felt nauseated and stood ready to run if he confirmed her fear.

“No, it’s not that at all, please don’t think that, Mallory.” He shook his head. “My feelings for you haven’t changed. They will
never
change.”

She inhaled deeply and thought her words out carefully before she spoke. “You said to me yesterday that if I had second thoughts I was to tell you. Why does that not apply to you?” She was shaking, how could it all be going so wrong after last night had been so perfect?

“Okay, okay, fair point. But I’m warning you. When I tell you it’ll be the end of any future we had. Are you ready to lose that before it even begins?” His eyes were pained. He sat.

“Well you’re ending this anyway so just TELL ME!” she shouted.

He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed them over his face.

He gestured for Mallory to sit down again. “The call I received was from someone I would rather forget. But unfortunately, she won’t let me.”

Mallory opened her mouth, but had no idea what to say. She closed it again and pulled her face into a frown. She stared at him, willing him to explain.

“I suppose I should start at the beginning…I met Alice at college. She was studying fashion and textiles and I was studying music. We hung around together. She was pretty and popular. She made it clear she wanted me.” He glanced at Mallory who was still staring at him as he spoke. “We had fun. Well,
she
had fun. I was very jealous back then and she made it her job to fire me up at every given opportunity. She flirted with other men in front of me and I hated it. If I did the same though, she got physical with me. I had several black eyes through her temper. She was bad for me and I knew it, but for some reason I thought I loved her. My parents didn’t approve at all. They said she was too possessive of me. It caused no end of trouble with them.”

He inhaled deeply again, this was clearly not an easy subject for him. “We’d been together for two years and she told me she was pregnant and the baby was mine. I was shocked and terrified, but I felt I should do the right thing by her. So we got married quickly. I was young. But I was determined that if there was to be a child I would make a go of it.

“Anyway, it turns out she’d lied to me. There was never a pregnancy. She made the whole thing up. I think they call it trapping? She well and truly trapped my arse. I was hurt and angry but she said she only did it because she loved me and wanted to be with me. After about six months of arguments and tears we decided to give things a proper go. No more lies.

“By this point I actually did love her. I have no clue why but…I just did. I was so desperate to make it work and so maybe I forced myself to love her, but even so the feelings turned out to be real. We rented a house over by Oban. We stayed there for two years and everything felt great. Then one day I came home from work and found her in bed with my best mate. I beat him up. And I told her I would never forgive her. I walked out and never looked back.”

Mallory threw her hands up. “So what’s the problem? You got divorced and met Mairi and the rest is history right?” Mallory desperately wanted to be right.

“Mallory…I never got divorced.”

“What?” Mallory rose to her feet.

“We just never got divorced. I didn’t want to speak to her let alone spend time discussing the finer points of our relationship in front of lawyers. I left her with the house and all our belongings. I thought that would be the last I would ever see of her. Until…”

“Until she called you this morning asking to see you?” Mallory’s voice was shaky as she pieced the jigsaw together.

“Yes.” He looked up at her. His eyes filled with sorrow and regret. “I’m so sorry.”

“I think you had better go now, Greg.” Mallory’s fists clenched as she spoke.

Greg slipped his boots on. He didn’t fight. He didn’t protest. He looked at her longingly. “See, I told you I wasn’t good enough for you.” His eyes glazed over. “I never told you because I don’t think of her as my wife.”

“No, but she
is
your wife, regardless. It’s a pretty huge thing to keep from someone you are supposedly in love with don’t you think? What else haven’t you told me? How many more lies will I uncover? I nearly slept with you! How can I trust you now?”

His lip trembled. “I don’t love her, Mallory, I love you. I don’t feel anything for her. Not even hate anymore. I’m apathetic when it comes to Alice. If I could go back in time and tell you everything I would.” A sob broke free from his throat, obviously his heart was breaking too. “The sad thing is that yesterday I had a glimpse of you and me together; the whole nine yards; a proper future. And I loved it.” His expression was pained as he sighed. “I hope that maybe someday you will forgive me for keeping the truth from you. Please don’t move away. Not because of me.” And with that, he left.

Chapter Ten

Mallory spent the few days after Greg’s revelations decorating the house. The thoughts whizzing around her mind were so mixed up she found it hard to focus. She began to wonder why she had stayed in the first place. With Sam gone, and the mixed feelings around her relationship with Greg, it felt like she had outstayed her welcome. The house was thoroughly beautiful and it should have been a happy place.

She freshened up the paint work. She put a splash of colour in some rooms. It looked nice, homey and a lot different than when she and Sam had fallen in love with it.

This will make someone a wonderful home
, her subconscious taunted her. A sadness washed over her that there was a possibility it wouldn’t be hers for much longer. After everything that had happened, she had instructed an estate agent to come and give her a valuation and discuss house selling packages. After briefly explaining her situation to the estate agent he had left her with a pile of documents to peruse. He said he understood and that the decision she made would be the right one.

Mallory had called Josie to fill her in with what had happened with Greg. The audible gasp from down the line told Mallory that Josie was shocked. “Oh, Mally, babe. Are you sure coming back here is what you want though? Does it really matter that he has a piece of paper that connects him to another woman? If you think there’s a future with him you shouldn’t give up. What if you regret it?”

“Josie, whose side are you bloody on?” Mallory snapped

“Yours obviously, that’s why I don’t want you to make any rash decisions. He clearly adores you not her.”

Josie just didn’t get it. He had kept something huge from her. It should have been the first thing he told her. He had opportunities before they were even drawn together. He didn’t take them. It was over.

She hadn’t seen much of Greg; only at shift changeover at the pub. She had swapped shifts in order to avoid awkward meetings with him. She couldn’t bare the hassle of seeing him. Their relationship had been tumultuous to say the least. But she had enough of pain and anguish to last her a lifetime.

Greg had been taking Angus into the pub on his shifts. He always came over to say hello and she always greeted him with a big cuddle—funny how dogs didn’t show any loyalties when it came to break ups.

After a great deal of soul searching Mallory had taken the decision to instruct the estate agent to try marketing the house for a while. She had been informed that the market was slow and there were more houses available for sale than there were interested buyers.

Secretly she hoped that it would be on the market a long time. She was not quite ready to let go, but felt like she had to take some form of action in a positive direction.

September 2011

August turned into September. The temperature had become noticeably cooler. Her relationship with Greg had become a series of ‘hello’s’ or nods out in the village. He had kept his distance and she had been glad of the fact.

She had awoken early one Saturday. She had no plans for the day apart from a couple who were coming to view the cottage. Everything was presented superbly. She had even followed the advice of the clichéd TV shows and made fresh coffee so that the tantalising aroma would permeate every room. Fresh seasonal flowers filled every available vase.

When she realised she had no milk left she decided to wander over to see Colin and Christine. They had been heartbroken when the
For Sale
board had been knocked into the ground outside her house. She had promised she would keep in touch.

She grabbed her fleece and walked up her lane. As she got to the main road she took a slight detour and ended up at the midpoint of the bridge.

“Oh, Sam, how wrong it all went.” She sighed. “If you had been here things would have been so different.” She stood for a few minutes looking at the view they had both loved.

She heard voices coming from behind her and turned out of sheer curiosity. Her heart skipped a beat. Walking toward her was Greg. He was with a stunning blonde woman.
How fickle he must be
, she thought. The couple was chatting. The woman kept touching his arm. When he saw her he stopped in his tracks. The woman looked over in the direction of his gaze and her face dropped. He approached Mallory.

“Hi, Mallory.” He smiled. His voice was just above a whisper.

“Greg.” She forced a smile in response.

“Mallory…erm…this is Alice, Alice this is Mallory.”

Oh good grief it’s her! He’s introducing me to HER!
Her subconscious screamed.

“Hi Mallory, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Alice held out her hand, but didn’t crack a smile.

“I’m sure you have,” Mallory replied sardonically and shook her hand.

“We were just taking a walk, you know clearing the cobwebs.” Greg was still terrible at small talk. At least some things never changed. His gaze shifted between the two women.

Mallory began to step away. “Lovely. Well, enjoy yourselves. I need to get going,” she said tersely and walked past them in the direction of the shop.

Unwelcomed tears welled in her eyes. She bit the inside of her lip to fend them off. She didn’t look back.

Once she had picked up some milk from the shop she wandered back along the road toward her house. Much to her chagrin, Greg was sitting at one of the tables outside the pub.
Come on Mallory, you can do this, just smile and walk by, don’t let him upset you, not again
.

She couldn’t avoid passing him. She wanted to run but her legs chose that moment to forget how to work.

“Mallory!” Greg called to her. She looked over to where he sat. “Can you talk?”

Now her subconscious screamed a hundred sarcastic retorts, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them out loud.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were out walking” she said dryly.

“Aye, I was but I wanted to talk to you…alone…so I asked Alice to head on without me. I’ll meet her back at the house.” He looked at his shoes.

So she’s staying with him too. How cosy.

She sighed. “What did you want to talk about?” she asked coldly.

“Will you sit for a while?” He gestured to the other side of the table.

Reluctantly, she sat down, placing the milk and her purse side by side.

“I haven’t seen you for a while, how are you?”

“I’m fine thanks. Is that it because I have people coming.”

“To view the house?” He picked at a splinter of wood protruding from the table.

“Yes. Not that it’s anything to do with you.”

“Why do you have to be so hostile, Mallory? Nothing has changed for me. I wish you would realise that.”

“It’s of no consequence to me how you feel. How is your
wife
liking it here?” The acerbity of her tone did not taste good.

Greg bit his top lip and shook his head. He was angry and she didn’t blame him really. “Okay, we’re being like that are we? I really thought we had something a little more mature, Mallory. I thought there were feelings on both sides of this. Clearly I was wrong.” He looked directly at her, making her fidget uncomfortably.

She felt the sting of his words.

“Greg, you’re married. You kept that fact from me just as I was about to give myself to you. Whilst I was still grieving for the
real
love of my life. Excuse me if I’m little indignant.”

“Can we at least be civil? Or maybe even friends? We got along so well, Mallory. Don’t you miss that? I know I do.”

“It’s irrelevant. I can’t trust you. How can we possibly be friends?” She pushed her glasses up her nose.

“Okay, well, it was worth a try.” He sniffed and looked down at the table. “Will you do me one thing? Will you tell me if you do sell the house? I would at least like a chance to say goodbye.”

“Greg, we said goodbye that day in August,” she said regretfully and left him sitting there.