Bride of the Castle (17 page)

“But you had no qualms about gadding about in search of milk. Where did you find her, Lord Peter?”

“Hiding behind a settee in the drawing room. I heard a noise and went in. The nightgown trailing out was the giveaway.”

“Well, Miss Pembroke?”

“I admit I got frightened,” Miss Pembroke said. “I heard a shot, then shouting, and I slipped into the drawing room to hide.”

Motherwell grunted. “Well, you'd best get back to bed. We'll discuss this further in the morning.”

“Certainly, Inspector. Good night.” Miss Pembroke turned a withering eye on Thaxton, who was still gripping her arm. “
If
you don't mind?”

Thaxton said, “Hm? Oh, sorry.” He let go.

“Thank you,” Miss Pembroke said icily.

“Benson, escort the lady to her room.”

“Yes, sir,” the man named Benson said as he followed Miss Pembroke out of the conservatory.

“Her story sounds reasonable, more or less,” Dalton commented.

“She acted guilty enough,” Thaxton said.

“Lord Peter,” Motherwell said, “can you state positively that you saw Miss Pembroke in this room?”

Thaxton shook his head ruefully. “It was dark, and I got only a glimpse. It could have been Amanda Thripps. They both have long brown hair, as I recall. And I was only bluffing about recognizing the nightgown, hoping to gull her into a confession. All women's nighties look alike to me. I'm afraid I couldn't swear to anything.”

“Pity,” Motherwell said, then yawned. After recovering he said, “I
must
get some sleep!”

“Shall we take the prisoner to the station, Inspector?” Featherstone asked.

“No, I want him kept under guard all night. I'll question him first thing in the morning.”

“Right, Inspector. We'll take him down to the wine cellar. It has a door with a bolt on it.”

“Good thinking, Featherstone. Take care not to fall asleep. And as for you, Mr.—”

“Vespal. Shrinam Vespal.”

“Mr. Vespal, we shall see you again come daybreak. You had best get your story straight in your mind.”

“There is nothing in my mind but thoughts of freedom for the people of my country! I spit on the body of the dead tyrant!”

He spat several times in the general direction of the Mahajadi.

“Take him away,” Motherwell said calmly.

Thaxton was kneeling to examine the body. “This dagger certainly looks Oriental.”

“Yes, we'll test it for prints, of course,” Motherwell said. “And if we find Mr. Vespal's . . . well, it'll be open and shut.”

“And if you don't?”

“Then, gentlemen, we have another mystery on our hands.”

“As if we needed one,” Dalton said. “I'm for sleep this time, Lord Peter. No more talk.”

Thaxton rose. “Right.”

 

Back upstairs, Dalton collapsed on the bed. “Rats. They always seem to squeeze us together into the same bed.”

“They?” Lord Peter said as he shed his smoking jacket.

“People who own castles and big houses where murders are done.”

“Come now, old bean, we don't do this sort of thing often enough to establish patterns.” As he spoke, Lord Peter opened the closet door.

Dalton sat up. “You know—” His jaw dropped.

“I mean,” Lord Peter went on, “it's not as if we get into murders every day of the week. We . . . what is it, old man? You look as though you've seen a ghost.”

Dalton pointed toward the open closet, inside which someone—rather, the whey-faced remains of someone—was standing. Or had been propped.

Thaxton's back was to the closet. “What the devil is it, Dalton, old boy?”

The body teetered and fell against Thaxton.

Thaxton absently pushed it back. “Pardon me,” he said, half-turning. Then the realization hit him. He yelled and jumped away.

The body, in an advanced state of rigor mortis, teetered forward again and fell with a resounding thump.

Both men stared down at it.

“Sir Laurence,” Dalton said.

Thaxton said, “By God, there's something
fishy
about all this.”

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

 

“i'm telling you,” Hochstader 3 insisted, “I didn't have anything to do with the life-switching scam.”

“One of you has something to do with it,” Max said.

“Not necessarily true, if you mean one of us, here.”

Hochstader 108 was the standard issue, maybe a tad younger-looking than Hochstader 3. The only thing really different about him was that he was decked out in some ridiculous medieval outfit: doublet and hose. The anachronistic note of orange athletic shoes somehow failed to be jarring.

“Okay, one of an infinite number of you,” Max amended. “But
somebody's
responsible, and his name is Hochstader, and both your names are Hochstader.”

“But neither of us cooked up the life-swap con,” said 3. “Get that through your head. We're variants of each other, but we're both innocent. Got that?”

“Yeah, I guess. Jeez, this is so gonzo, so absolutely far out.”

“Right, but it's not totally incomprehensible.”

“Sure, it's all so simple,” Max sneered. “Here we are in King Iodine's castle—”

“Incarnadine.”

“Whatever—and there are an infinite number of portals and magical doors, and pretty soon Rod Serling is going to come out of the woodwork and start talking to the camera.”

The Hochstaders shrugged at each other.

“So,” said 3, “what do we do?”

“Well,” said 108, “first we'll have to get you back to your variant of the Castle.”

“Got any suggestions?”

Hochstader 108 leaned back in his swivel chair and thought about it. “I might, if I knew anything about tuning a portal. You seem to know a bit about it.”

“I admit I've riddled with the idea.”

“Wait a minute. Didn't Max find you in that office?”

“Sure, I opened the portal and rented the office, or vice versa. But I hadn't started anything. I was just thinking about possible approaches, when Max barged in and started yammering about how I hoodwinked him.”

“You must have had some swindle in mind,” said 108.

“I resent that. I was doing research into probability universe variants. It all relates to quantum theory.”

“Yeah, I'll bet,” scoffed 108. “Listen, I know you. Hell, I
am
you. And we've done some sneaky things in the past.”

“Yeah,” 3 admitted, “sure, the computer scams. But that's the past.”

“And this is the present. What were you really up to?”

Hochstader 3 sighed. “Oh, I admit, I was toying with some ideas. Like, noting a stock trend in one world before it started in another. But there's no guarantee these kinds of phenomena will cross worlds. Anyway, stuff like that. But as long as I thought about it, I couldn't come up with any surefire scheme to make money.”

Hochstader 108 nodded. “Yeah, I've always been aware of the possibilities . . .”

“See!” said 3 accusingly.

“I said we're more alike than you're willing to admit. Sure, you'd think that there'd be some way to milk some bucks out of a thing like this.” He gestured expansively. “Out of something like the Castle. Hell, you could charge a mint for people to come and stay here.”

Hochstader 3's brow went up. “Hey. I never thought of that.”

“Of course, Lord Inky wouldn't take to that too kindly, but you might be able to get away with it if you stuck your guests in some far part of the Castle. A little dangerous, maybe, but what the hell.”

“Nah,” said 3, shaking his head. “Inky would be all over you like a cheap suit.”

“Eventually,” 108 agreed. “But my question is, why do it at all?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have the Castle, and everything in it, and access to any world you want. Why do you need money?”

Hochstader 3 considered it. At length he shrugged. “I dunno. I guess money's superfluous.”

“Right.”

“Habit, I guess.”

“Ri-i-i-ght.” Hochstader 108 nodded sagely.

“But I still gotta get back to my variant Castle,” 3 went on. “I mean, both of us can't be here.”

“Nope, it'd be confusing. And they'd miss you back at your place.”

“So, what do we do?”

“Well . . .” Hochstader 108 turned to the terminal. “We have to summon a portal first.”

“I have a question,” Max said as he came back from a self-guided tour of the mainframe computer.

“Fire away,” said 3. “Er, I mean . . .”

Max was still holding the minitranslator. He looked at it and smiled. “Don't worry. I'm not a violent person. It's just that I felt pushed up against the wall.”

“I kind of understand. What's your question?”

“Which one of you is the real Hochstader? Or is neither of you the real one?”

Hochstader 108 nodded to Hochstader 3. “You take it.”

“An interesting question,” said 3. “But I'm not sure it has any real meaning.”

“So all your variants are equally real?”

“Could be.”

“I doubt it,” said 108. “It's like holding up a mirror to a mirror. You get a startling effect, and you can't tell a reflection from the real thing. But as soon as you quit playing with mirrors, all the reflections cease to exist.”

Hochstader 3 smiled. “Yeah, but exactly
who
ceases to exist and who remains real?”

“Only time will tell, pal. Okay, check the portal.”

Hochstader 3 rose and went to the curtain. He was about to move it aside when he looked back at his double with suspicion.

“Hey, it just occurred to me to ask why you have this curtain up if you haven't been fiddling with portals.”

“I told you I was thinking about opening up a door to Earth here. Wanted to duck back sometime. But there's still a warrant out for me, you know.”

Hochstader 3 grinned. “And you were going to search for an Earth where there wasn't a warrant out. Right?”

Hochstader's reciprocating grin was a trifle sheepish. “I suppose the notion was floating around in my mind.”

“Such as it is,” 3 said with a wink. He peeked through the curtain.

“The office is here. Now, just how did you do that?”

Hochstader 3 shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.”

“Oh, sure. But I'm confused now. How do I get back to my variant of the Castle?”

“Try going through and waiting a bit. I'll tune out, and something should replace my variant with another. With any luck, it ought to be yours.”

“Yeah? I don't understand . . .”

“Listen, try relying less on technology and more on your magic talents.”

“Magic isn't my strong suit.”

“Use what talent you have. Castle people never lose their talents, once they get them, and they never lose the Castle. You can always find your way back somehow.”

“I guess you're right,” said 3. “Well, okay.”

Max watched the well-dressed Hochstader disappear behind the curtain.

“Say, where does that leave me?”

Hochstader 108 was busy at the terminal. After a few typistly flourishes, he poked a final key. “Press ‘Enter,'” he said with satisfaction.

Max walked to the curtain and looked behind it. Stone. He turned to the remaining Hochstader with a distrusting frown. “What's the idea?”

“Screw him.”

“Why?”

“Not only is he a nogoodnik, he's not so smart.”

“What happened to him?”

Hochstader shrugged. “Who cares? He's gone, lost in the quantum flux of possibilities.”

Max raised the minitranslator.

Hochstader eyed it calmly. “That probably won't work in here.”

“I wasn't going to use it.” Max tossed the weapon on the counter of the work station. “You don't care about your twin?”

“He wasn't a twin. He was a reflection. Besides—” Hochstader 108 put his stockinged legs up on the counter.

“I'm the
real
Jeremy Hochstader.”

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

 

the huge chapel was empty save for a few servants sweeping up. The guests had departed, as had the priests and the choir. The altar held innumerable candles, all now snuffed out, wax drippings frozen and hard.

The bride, dressed in white, sat alone on the steps of the altar. The veil and the bouquet lay at her feet.

Melanie came walking across the great stone floor. She approached Linda cautiously.

She asked, “Are you all right?”

“Sure.”

“This is absolutely . . . I mean, it's absolutely
terrible
.”

“I'm relieved.”

“What?”

Linda grinned. “I'm relieved Gene didn't show up.”

Melanie was incredulous. “You are? But really, when it looked as though he wouldn't show, we should have called it off.”

“Nah. I wanted to go through with it. There was a good chance he would have showed up in time.”

Melanie frowned skeptically. “You're not at all upset?”

“Oh, I'm good and ticked off at Gene. I'm going to punch him.”

“He deserves it.”

“Yes, but he didn't mean to hurt me. He's just that way. Got tied up in some war or revolution, something big and important, and he couldn't get away. He may even be in trouble.”

“Oh.” Melanie sat on the steps. “Well, when you put it that way . . .”

“I'm still going to deck him. He shouldn't have left in the first place.”

“What a rotten thing. I'd be upset as hell.”

“Don't worry about it. Gene's going to take a verbal licking from everybody, especially Deena. I get to play the injured party, and the wedding is off indefinitely, and that suits me fine.”