Breathe Into Me (17 page)

“I figured you ladies could use some coffee and a couple of muffins this morning,” he said, but he never took his eyes off me. My cheeks were becoming sore from the obscene amount of smiling I had been doing these past few days.

Taking me by surprise, Kane leaned in a placed a slow kiss on my cheek. My eyes shifted to Jessi who mouthed the words “so cute” back to me.

“Well, since I’m feeling a little third wheel-ish here, I’m going to go and see if I can meet up with Landon before class. I’ll see you guys later. Love you, Kels,” Jessi said as she handed me coffee from the tray. She blew me a kiss, then retreated in the other direction.

“Thank you for the coffee. We were just headed out for some before class actually.”

“Well why don’t I walk you to your class while you drink your coffee?”

I nodded and we began the short walk to my first class. Half way there I felt Kane’s hand slide down my arm before he interlaced his fingers with mine. The butterflies erupted in my stomach like a volcano and I suppressed the huge grin on my face with a quick sip of my warm coffee.

The walk to class had seemed a lot shorter than normal, but a lot of that may have had to do with the fact that I wasn’t ready to let go of Kane’s hand yet.

Approaching the door to my class, Kane gave my hand a small tug, pulling me back to him where he immediately covered my mouth with his. I could taste the coffee on his tongue.
Best way to have morning coffee…ever!

When the kiss was over, Kane rested his forehead against mine and sighed.

“I had to do that. I couldn’t wait any longer. After the dream I had last night all I could think about doing was getting to you this morning and kissing you.”

“Well that must have been some dream,” I joked.

“You have no idea.” He finally pulled back to look at me.

As I stared into those beautiful gray eyes of his, I couldn’t help but wonder how did I get here? How could someone as attractive and as personable as Kane want anything to do with sheltered and broken me? I didn’t want to dwell on those thoughts too much because I wanted him. I wanted him to want me—but for this to actually be happening was all a little surreal.

One final kiss from Kane and I made my way into class. He waited at the door until I was seated at my desk before sending a sly smile my way. He then slowly backed away from the door, disappearing from my sight. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts of soft lips and lip rings from my mind, but it was no use. This was going to be a long class.

After class I packed my things up and walked out the door. I was grabbed from behind and let out a yelp, but when the familiar coolness of metal touched my neck, I knew exactly who had me.

“How is it that you always manage to walk me to class and still be waiting for me when class is over?” I asked as I turned in his arms to face him.

He shrugged. “What can I say, my professors love me.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Cocky much?”

Slinging his arm around my shoulder he shrugged. “Nah. Just confident.”

We made our way to class after class. Kane always walking me to them, and waiting for me after. We were always touching each other in some way on the walks. Whether it be holding hands, or his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist. I caught a few dirty looks from some girls and noticed some of the guys checking us out. I know what they were all thinking. What was Kane doing with her?

Lunch was pretty much uneventful. Kane had me go ahead and take a seat at the table while he went and filled a try for us. Surprisingly, he actually picked out food that I would eat.

“How did you know what I would want?” I raised my brow at him.

Shrugging, he said, “I got what sounded good, and honestly you don’t really eat like a girl, remember? You kinda eat like a dude, so I got what I would eat.”

I laughed at the memory of that first lunch day. I guess he was right, I did kind of eat like a guy.

After lunch, Jessi and Landon actually fell into step with Kane and me on the way to class. Jess kept sending me secret looks that screamed ‘Oh mah God! So cute.’ Which earned her a death glare from me. Kane and Landon talked about some big game that was happening this weekend, but sports were the one thing you would find me completely girly about. I didn’t understand them and I didn’t try to. Every time I tried to watch football I ended up losing the ball in all the commotion and just cheered when my section would cheer.

When we made it to the door to my class, Kane stopped and glanced inside before scooping me up in his arms, deeply kissing me. By the time he was done, I was a little kiss drunk and couldn’t even find the words to tell him goodbye. I just stood there feeling like my head was surrounded by tiny stars and swirls, like those old cartoons when the characters would get bumped on the head. When I finally gathered my composure I entered the class and went right to my seat.

“Well, well, well. You two seem to be pretty cozy.” Jessi’s voice called to me and I turned in my seat too look at her. She had her chin perched on her fist and was batting her lashes at me.

“Hush,” I mumbled.

“What? I’m just stating the obvious. I have never even seen you kiss anyone since, what, freshman year when you kissed Walker Philips at Katy Allen’s pool party?”

I gasped and leaned closer to her. “You said you would never bring that up again! You know he pretty much assaulted me. Practically licking my entire face in the process!”

I cringed from the memory. Jessi had begged me go to that party. Before everything had happened with my mom, Jessi, Katy, and I used to have sleepovers every other weekend. A few nights before the party when her and her parents thought I was sleeping, I overheard them talking down the hall from my room.

They were talking about how they were worried about me. How since my mother’s death I was secluding myself and I was holding in all my grief because I wouldn’t talk about that night with anyone. Not them, not Jessi, and not the stupid therapist everyone said I should see.

I didn’t want to relive that night, and every time I talked about it … I did. Every time I closed my eyes I saw my mother’s cold blank stare and her purple lips gasping for air. No, living through it once was enough. I would talk about that night as little as humanly possible for the rest of my life. But the next day when Jessi asked me to go with her to the party, I had agreed so maybe they would stop worrying.

I was sitting there, contemplating leaving early when Walker came over to talk to me. I was a little surprised he’d done so because this was around the time that people began to pull away from me. I was sitting on one of the lounge chairs in the back of the pool area picking at the pink polish on my nails when I felt a body plop down beside me. I thought it was Jessi at first but was met with the slight smell of alcohol and Walker’s lopsided grin.

“How’s it going, Kelsey? Haven’t seen you around much lately.”

“I’m at school every day, Walker. Just like you.”

I was trying to play nice and converse with him, but in all actuality I was annoyed. It had been months since he had even attempted to speak to me and now that he had a few beers in his system, he decided it was a good time to approach me?

“Yeah, but you’re not the same you that you were before.”

I glared at him. He had no idea how I was not the same me that I was before.

He placed his clammy hand on the bare skin of my thigh just below my shorts. I tried shaking off his hand but his sticky palm wouldn’t budge.

“Remember how it used be, Kel? Remember when you were dying to … oh shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have used that word.”

I had heard enough. I loved Jessi and her parents, but I couldn’t put up with this or these people for another second. I quickly got up, but when I tried to step around Walker’s legs he grabbed my wrist and tugged me down onto his lap.

“Oh come on, Kel, you know I didn’t mean it that way. All I’m trying to say is before all that went down, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend.”

“Walker, believe me when I say this. You may have been planning on
asking
me to be your girlfriend, but you are quick to forget … that doesn’t mean I would have said
yes
.”

I made a move to stand again but he held firm to my waist and covered the bottom half of my face with his open mouth. It only took him about a minute to realize he was making out with my chin and by that time the damage was done. Someone saw us and yelled, “Kelsey and Walker is getting it on!”

I never thought I would live that day down. Thankfully, shortly after that is when everyone decided to avoid me like the plague and it was never spoken of again. Well, other than when Jessi would have a horrific make out experience and would always refer it to a “Walker Wash.”

“I know, I know. I couldn’t resist!” she laughed and held up both of her hands.

I huffed and turned around in my seat, vowing I would give her a silent treatment for the rest of class. We were still waiting on Professor Hanson to come out of her office when Nate knelt down on the other side of my desk.

“Hey,” he said with a nod. “When is the next study session? I’ve got a busy week and I just wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t fall on a day that I have something planned.”

“Oh, um, I think Jessi is pretty busy this week too. I’m free whenever though. So why don’t you just text me and we will work something out?”

“Sounds good. I will text you sometime this evening with the days and times I am free.” He paused for a minute and looked down at the floor. “So you and Kane, huh?”

I started at him for a minute, what kind of question was that? “Um, I’m not sure what you mean?” I was truly puzzled as to why he would even bring it up. Sure he had tried to “warn” me about Kane’s past indiscretions, but I was a big girl and could handle myself.

“Nothing. I just thought—ya know what? Never mind. I’ll talk to you later, Kelsey.” Then he got up and made his way back to his seat.

When I looked at Jessi, she was starting at me. I shrugged letting her know I had no clue what any of that was about and tried not to think about it the rest of class.

Nate texted me later that afternoon letting me know that he wouldn’t be able to study at all through the week. Something had come up, and the only day he would have free would be Sunday morning. That was one of the days that Jessi wouldn’t be available, but considering we still had a lot left to do—and let’s face it, Jessi wasn’t a huge contributor to the project anyway—I agreed to just meet on Sunday and work with Nate. I would just catch Jessi up on everything before we were to meet again.

Kane had stuff to do that afternoon so I spent my time catching up on some reading. I had always loved reading. It was a passion I had gotten from my mom. As far back as I could remember she had been reading to me.

I was reading full-length novels but the time I was in middle school—not those momma type novels, but ones based for my age—but my mom would always read whatever book I was reading, no matter how juvenile they were to what she was used to reading, just so we could talk and gush over our favorite parts and the people we hated most in the books. After she died, I didn’t think I would ever be able to pick up a book again.

The first book I finished after her death, I had laid in bed and cried for hours because I didn’t have her to talk to about it. I wanted to know what she would have thought when the heroine of the book found herself in a situation she never thought she would have. And I wanted to know when the lead couple shared their first kiss, if it gave her butterflies like it did me.

Reading was something I had to slowly work my way back to. I knew I needed to continue reading, no matter if it did hurt every time I finished a book. It was something we had shared a passion in and it was one thing that could keep me close to her in a way.

So I spent the afternoon lost in a fictional world where no matter how bad things got, they always worked out in the end. Nothing like real life, but it was always nice to get away for a while.

I hadn’t noticed I had fallen asleep until I opened my eyes and found the dorm room in complete darkness. I blindly felt for my phone and slid my finger across the screen to unlock it. I had a few text messages and a missed call from an unknown number with a voicemail.