But when they’d moved back to the neighborhood from the Laurel Canyon compound the day Eli and Obie returned from their Grand Canyon trip, he’d mentioned how eager he was to get back to his work-in-progress.
She needed to honor that dedication to his calling. Her intention wasn’t to be a complication for him. If they were to build anything lasting from this, she had to show him it could work between them. That she could be an ease to his aches, not one who created more of them.
He wasn’t entirely convinced, she was sure of that, but she had time and opportunity—and Eli and Obie—on her side. Her boys’ genuine and clear affection for the man were winning him over…she was just sure of it.
Every time he smiled at their recounting of their days over dinner, every kiss he pressed absently on Cleo’s hair, proved that his attachment to them was growing stronger.
“Cleo.”
Her heart leaped at her name in a male voice.
Reed!
A welcome smile already growing on her face, she whirled.
Her ex-husband stood eight feet away, his hands up, his fingers spread. Tan and thinner than she’d ever seen him, his sandy hair was cropped short and lines fanned from the corners of his eyes.
They didn’t look as if they’d been etched by smiles and laughter.
Instinct shouted that his sudden appearance wasn’t good…or safe.
Her mind sifted through options. Her cell phone was on the kitchen counter. Could she make it inside and lock the door before he followed? Unlikely. Her car keys were inside too.
What about running past him, down the long drive to the street? Catching her would be nothing for his longer legs.
He frowned. “I hate that you’re afraid of me, Cleo.”
Apparently it showed on her face. She cleared her throat. “What do you want?”
Sighing, Pete dropped his hands to his sides. “You’re so pretty. I’ve never forgotten that.”
Cleo stepped back, the door against her shoulder blades. “Pete—”
“Remember when I took you to the Senior Prom? You had that pale yellow dress and the corsage I gave you was tiny white rosebuds.”
“We’re not teenagers anymore.”
“Your bride’s bouquet was white rosebuds too.”
Cleo pressed her palms against the wood behind her, trying to gain strength from its solidity as she calculated the odds of the boys arriving while Pete was on the premises. Today they were let out early. She could only hope they dawdled on their walk home.
“I get so angry,” Pete said.
Swallowing, she struggled to keep her expression neutral. The last times he’d been mad around her he’d physically hurt her and then terrified their children. “I-I’m sorry to hear that.”
He rubbed at his temple. “I can’t control it.”
“That’s hard.” She licked her dry lips. “Can I call someone for you?”
“No!”
She jumped.
His hands came up again and his voice softened. “Sorry. But you called the police, Cleo. Remember?”
Who was he? Certainly not the boy who had presented her with that corsage so long ago. Not the half-grown man who’d slipped a ring on her finger when he was twenty. What exactly was responsible for this alteration she didn’t know.
“Your mom and dad are doing well,” she said, trying to change the subject. “I’m sure they’d love to hear from you.”
His mouth curled. “You think?”
“They still care about you, Pete. They worried when you disappeared. You’re their son.”
“But not your husband, eh?”
She shook her head. “That couldn’t be any longer.”
“Yeah.” He looked down.
“You need to understand—”
“No,” he snapped. “
You
need to understand.”
Her heart slammed against her ribs, his sudden changes of mood sending her into near-panic. “Okay, Pete.”
He glanced around. “Can we sit somewhere?”
She couldn’t,
couldn’t
let him into the house. Not where Eli and Obie had their toys. Not where she and Reed had first made love. “We could walk to Starbucks.”
As if she hadn’t said a word, Pete sat cross-legged on the driveway. “You,” he said, pointing.
Cleo slid down the door. As she moved, she glanced at her watch. There wasn’t much time before her boys would appear. Would they think to run when they recognized their father? “How did you get here, Pete?” Did he have a car nearby that he might use to kidnap them?
He shrugged. “Train. Bus.”
She didn’t feel any better. Terrible scenarios kept bubbling up from the tar pits in her mind. Pete snatching the boys. Pete taking her away. Reed deciding to surprise her with an afternoon visit.
Three days ago he’d joined the boys on their way home as they passed his house, ice cream sandwiches for all four of them. He’d raced Eli and Obie down the long driveway and allowed them both to win.
As all three ran toward her with matching wide grins, she’d thought her heart might burst.
The boys had rushed through the open cottage door, but Reed had come to a halt in front of her. He’d leaned down and kissed her until she was as breathless as her sons. It wasn’t the first instant she’d begun to hope for a future for them, but it had made the idea of that future so much more precious.
“Do you know where Peru is?” Pete asked now. “We’re going there.”
Her heart seized.
We?
She pressed against the door and tried curling her fingers into the cement. “That’s South America.”
His expression turned annoyed. “I know geography, Cleo.”
“Sorry.” A bead of sweat trickled down her back. “What’s…what’s in Peru?”
“Ayahuasca.”
She blinked. “Who?”
“Pay attention, Cleo,” he said with another scowl. “Ayahuasca is made from a jungle vine. It’s a hallucinogenic drink.”
Was he on it now? “Is it…safe?”
He laughed, the sound dark and unamused. “Am
I
safe? Not now.” His mood changed again, his expression turning tender. “I hurt you, Cleo. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I didn’t think so,” she answered. It was the honest truth—and yet he had, and there was no guarantee he wouldn’t again.
“I have a short fuse, you know?”
She nodded.
“But the talk didn’t help, and the pills…I hate the pills. They make me feel half-asleep.”
“Perhaps there are other treatments—”
“I’ve found something that might heal me.” He glared at her, his whole body tensing. “Don’t try to talk me out of it.”
“I want you to get better—feel better.”
“Okay.” He relaxed. “I just need you to understand.”
“I do understand. I wouldn’t want to feel angry all the time or like I’m sleepwalking.”
Her shirt was stuck to her sweaty back. This conversation only proved how volatile Pete was, how she couldn’t trust him around her boys. And she couldn’t get that “we” out of her head. She cleared her throat. “When are you planning to leave?”
“Not long.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Will they come home soon?”
“I expect the construction workers to return any second. Roofers, the carpenters are still in the kitchen—”
“Eli and Obie,” Pete said. “I want to talk to them. To tell them I didn’t mean to scare them that night.”
“They know.” Her pulse sounded loud in her ears. Maybe she had to make a break for it. Run like hell past him so she could waylay the kids.
Rising to her feet, she tensed to move.
“What are you doing?” Pete asked.
“I’ve…I’ve got errands. I’m expected somewhere.”
He stood too, tilting his head to study her face. “We’re still having a conversation.”
“I know. But there’s something I have to do.” Then her blood froze in her veins. At the end of the driveway, she saw two small figures. They were looking at each other, both their mouths moving.
Then Eli suddenly stopped, his head coming up, his gaze zeroing in on her.
She could only bless his honed survival instincts. Sending him silent messages, she waved him off, her hand low at her hip. Would he understand?
Trying to keep Pete’s attention on her, she ran her other hand through her hair. “Tell me more about your plans.” She didn’t dare shift between her ex-husband and her sons, in case it drew his attention toward them. “Is there a direct flight to, um, Peru?”
Eli had the sleeve of Obie’s T-shirt in his hand and he was walking backward, his gaze still on her. She nodded vigorously, encouraging him, while hoping Pete wouldn’t realize anything amiss.
“We fly into—” He broke off and swung around just as the boys broke into a sprint. Then he swung back to her, frowning. “Cleo—”
She leaped between him and the direction the boys had taken. It was time to make a stand. “You need to leave, Pete.”
He reared back when she got in his face and put her hands on her hips. “I said, it’s time for you to go.”
“Cleo—”
“You did scare the boys. You did hurt me.” Remembering both suddenly made her boiling mad. “I don’t like it. I don’t want you here, I don’t want you around them or around me.”
All the starch went out of him. His body sagged, the skin of his face seemed to melt too. “Shit, Cleo. I just wanted to apologize. To say goodbye before Tom and I took off for Peru.”
Her mingled terror and anger abated a little. She took a step back. “Tom?”
“A buddy from the service.” He looked down at his feet, looked to her. “I’m not coming back.”
“You’ll stay in Peru?”
“I don’t know about that. But I’m not going to…to bother you anymore. I didn’t mean to scare anybody. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“All right.” She was starting to tremble, but she didn’t want Pete to know. All she could think about was Eli and Obie. Where were they now?
Go to Reed, babies
, she urged.
Go to Reed.
Pete shoved his hands in his pockets and dipped his head. For a second, she saw that lanky eighteen-year-old who had been her very first crush. The twenty-year-old, with no more experience with grief than she had, who had held her while she was inconsolable after her parents died. The young soldier who had given her the two most amazing children in the history of the universe.
Oh, Pete.
“I’m going to take very good care of Eli and Obie,” she said. “I promise.”
He looked up, and a tear trickled down his face. “You’re good with promises, Cleo. I believe you.”
A minute of painful silence passed, then he swiped the wetness from his face. His hand came up again and he saluted her, the gesture self-mocking and more in keeping with the Pete she’d known after he’d come home from war. Finally he spun about and walked down the driveway, turning left, taking the opposite direction from the boys.
Cleo waited one long second, her whole body shaking. When he didn’t come back, she started to run, intent on getting to her boys. As she neared the sidewalk, Reed came racing around the corner. It was just like a few afternoons ago, except there were no boys, and no ice cream sandwiches, and no grinning.
Reaching her, he snatched her close. “Are you okay? Where is he?”
“Fine,” she said, against his chest, the thumping of his heart loud in her ears. Her fingers fisted in his shirt, holding on. “Pete left. He’s gone and he’s promised me he won’t come back. The boys?”
Reed grabbed her chin, tilting her face to study it. “You’re okay.”
“I’m okay. Where are Eli and Obie?”
“My house. Locked inside.”
“We need to get them.” She made to move.
“Give me another minute,” he said. He yanked her close again, burying his face in her hair. “I died a little in the time it took for me to get to you.”
She closed her eyes, holding him too, while pretending she hadn’t seen that tight expression on his face. That coolness at the edge of his features. For another moment she fooled herself that nothing had changed between her and the man she loved.
But in her heart of hearts she knew that Reed was no longer drawing closer to her now. Already he was backing away.
Chapter Fourteen
Reed sat with his feet propped on the kitchen table, staring into his “morning” cup of coffee at 2:30 in the afternoon. He had returned to vampire hours, trying to redial his life back to its pre Cleo-and-sons peace. Instead of working in his office, though, he’d brought his laptop to the house in further avoidance of the family over the fence.
He was avoiding the Rock Royalty tribe as well. Alexa had called about why he’d skipped the latest barbecue at the canyon and he’d used the opportunity to discover if Cleo had been in touch with Brody and Bing about the job at their company. She had an upcoming start date.
Her ex was out of the picture. Her future looked secure. He could put them from his mind.
That hadn’t happened. He tightened his fingers on his mug and attempted once again to banish from his thoughts Cleo’s bright hair, Eli’s grin, Obie’s bouncing walk.
His doorbell rang.
Thank fuck.
A distraction, he thought. Maybe something important to attend to like a big win from Publisher’s Clearing House.
He loped through the front door to the gate at the street. It gave out its usual creak as he pulled it open. Frowning, he didn’t see the expected deliveryman. There was nobody.
That is, until his gaze dropped and he saw Eli and Obie. Warmth filled his belly and he drank in their small, freckled faces.
“I was just thinking of you guys,” he blurted out, then wanted to slap himself. Admitting it made it that much more real, damn it all.
“Mom says you’ve been busy,” Eli said.
“Um, yeah. Work.”
“I miss you,” Obie said.
God, the kid wore his emotions on his sleeve. “Well…” Reed said lamely, feeling like an ass. “Work.”
Eli glanced over his shoulder. “We can’t stay long.”
Reed surveyed the street, his pulse kicking up. “Is your mom with you?”
“Yeah, in her car around the corner.” He made a face. “She gets us from school again.”
Around the corner so Reed couldn’t catch sight of her. Suddenly he wanted that, badly. Just a glimpse of her would settle him, he thought. He took a step, then caught himself. He was supposed to be giving her up. He
had
given her up.
After that race from his place to hers, Eli’s panic twisting Reed’s guts into knots, he’d come to the conclusion it was time to break things off. It had been fun. The sex awesome. The kids cute and everything.