Bouncing (36 page)

It was plain white and business size, inscribed with two words.
Dodge / Bio
.

Without hesitation or thought, Brit opened the envelope that bore her name. And as she pulled the papers out she frowned. It was a biology test, given by her a month before. Why would Alex be carrying around a copy of one of her exams?

That was odd. She picked it up and carried it into the living room, where Alex was reading the paper.

Brit held the envelope in both hands, facing away from her so Alex could read it. “Why do you have a copy of my test in your bag?”

Alex gasped. Wes had needed the original test to check details such as the type of paper it was printed on and the placement of the staple in the upper left corner. Alex had given it to him a week earlier and he’d just returned it, and she hadn’t had a chance to hide it somewhere safe. Somewhere away from Brit’s curious gaze.

Alex studied Brit for a moment as she held her breath, not daring to move. Did she suspect the truth? Or was she just puzzled? Was this the chance Alex had been waiting for, to talk to Brit, or would it be a mistake to involve her? She ran her hands through her hair as she considered her options.

“Alex?” Brit asked. “What’s going on?”

Alex buried her face in her hands as she leaned back into the couch. She felt Brit beside her, the soft hands that knew her body so well clutching her wrist, pulling it from her face.

Alex opened her uncovered eye and studied Brit.

“Hey? You okay?” Brit asked.

What was the point of being in a relationship, of totally giving yourself and committing to someone, if you can’t be honest with them? Brit had given herself and committed herself. Alex had, too. She had to trust Brit with this.

Dropping her hands, Alex forced a weak smile. “We have a problem.”

Brit sat a little taller and looked at Alex curiously. “What kind of problem?”

Alex sat up, gathering her strength for the conversation. She met Brit’s gaze. “It’s Kelsey.”

“Yeah? What about Kelsey?”

“It started with her buying exams.” Alex nodded to the envelope containing Brit’s biology exam. “And then the guy selling them started blackmailing her. He runs a sports betting operation and made her shave points so he could make more money.”

Brit’s mouth was open as she stared at Alex, her eyes unfocused as she shook her head in denial.

“You’re joking, right?” she asked after a moment.

“No.” And as Brit pulled her knees up in a protective posture, Alex explained everything. Well, not everything. She still didn’t feel comfortable telling Brit what she and Wes had planned. Their idea was crazy and might land Alex in jail, or the hospital. She refused to picture herself in the morgue, but that was possible, too.

“I can’t believe this. I worked so hard with her and was so proud of all she’s accomplished academically. Her grades have been good. Well, no wonder. I assume it’s all been a big lie. She’s been cheating the whole time.”

Alex patted Brit’s thigh reassuringly. “She hasn’t cheated for the last month. I stopped her once I found out.”

Brit’s eyes flew open wide and bore into Alex. “Wait. You’ve known about this for a month? And you didn’t tell me?”

The volume of Brit’s voice seemed to rise with each word. Alex had never seen her so angry. “Shhh, calm down.”

“Calm down? Calm down? Our star is cheating on exams, my exams, and you’ve known about it for a month and haven’t told me, and you think I’m not calm enough?” Brit was practically screaming.

Alex stood, pacing the room, running her hands through her hair. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“Duh!”

Alex leaned against the wall. How had she allowed herself to get into this position? She never should have agreed to help Wes. She should have taken the exam to the principal and allowed him to handle the problem, then worried about her own problems—her team, her health, her girlfriend. She looked at Brit and repeated her apology, more quietly this time. “I’m sorry.”

Brit closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch. Alex knew her anger was gone when she saw the tears glistening on her eyelashes. “Maybe I failed her. Maybe we all did. I mean, we put so much emphasis on sports that she chose to do these crazy things just so she could play. And in the end, she’s probably going to lose her scholarship offers when the colleges find out. She might not even get into college once this gets out.”

“That’s why I haven’t told anyone. It’s over. Kelsey made a mistake, and she’s sorry for it. Believe me, she feels awful. What good would it do to expose her? It’s just going to ruin her life.”

Brit’s jaw dropped and she scowled. “Are you out of your mind, Alex? She. Was. Buying. Exams! Cheating! You can’t just ignore this. What message are you sending her?”

“Believe me, she’s sorry.”

“Well, that’s not enough. She needs to be punished. Suspended.”

“She’s not even playing right now. Why does it matter?”

“Integrity? Honor? Sportsmanship?”

Alex paced again. What could she say to make Brit understand this? Probably nothing, which Alex realized was the true reason she hadn’t confided in Brit. Brit was too moral, too honest, too good to go along with this sort of deception. But if she couldn’t understand, could she at least accept it and just let it go?

“Brit, can you just let me handle this? I promise you, I’ll take care of it.”

“How? What will you do?”

Alex sighed. “I reviewed the school policy on academic integrity. There’s nothing there that says I have to tell anyone. I can handle it how I want, and I swear to you, I’m handling it. Please?”

Brit stared at Alex. “Oh, fuck! Please, Alex, don’t tell me this is about you getting some big-time coaching job. Please don’t tell me you’re that unethical!”

Alex closed the space between them and faced Brit, and suddenly all of her own frustrations and fears burst from the place she’d been containing them for more than a month. “Don’t give me your holy, Catholic, ethical bullshit, Britain. I’m sick of it! This is the real world, not the fucking convent. In the real world people aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. They have real problems, and they have to deal with them the best way they can. That’s what I’m doing.”

Brit sniffed back tears as she looked at Alex with eyes that could have frozen the Pacific Ocean. “I can’t believe I trusted you, Alex. I let you get close to me, ignoring my instincts, because I thought you really had changed. But you haven’t. It’s still all about you and your instant gratification. I’m so disappointed in you! But I’m even more disappointed in myself for trusting you.” Brit wiped her arm on her sleeve and then pointed to the door. “Get out of my apartment, Alex. Just go!”

Alex knew she shouldn’t go. She should tell Brit everything she’d done and why, and ask for her help. But she couldn’t. She was angry. Why couldn’t Brit just trust her? She was tired, too. She’d been going, going, going since the first day of practice. Physically, she was spent. Emotionally, she was even more exhausted—from putting her heart on the line with Brit, and coaching, and dealing with all of the drama with Kelsey. She didn’t have any energy left with which to argue, or discuss, or debate.

Besides, Saint Britain had already made up her mind, and Alex knew she’d been condemned.

Misery

It had been a tear-filled, sleepless night, and it showed. Brit looked exhausted. No amount of makeup could hide the circles beneath her eyes, and after a minute, Brit stopped trying. She retreated to her bed and began crying again. Just what her eyes needed, but she couldn’t help it.

If she’d thought the rug had been pulled out from under her at the beach, when Anke showed up, she’d been wrong. That was nothing compared to this. How could she have been such a fool? Why had she trusted Alex with her heart after she’d vowed not to?

Falling back, Brit stared at the ceiling, wondering what to do next. She’d wondered all night and was no closer to understanding. How could Alex just blow this off? The question haunted her. She could forgive Alex if she’d only come clean now. But she wouldn’t, and how could Brit live with that? She coached and taught to make a difference with kids, to teach them the skills they would use to be successful in the world. It was great to win, but winning above all else wasn’t Brit’s goal. How could she accept that sort of morality in her lover? It was wrong, and Brit didn’t like the lesson Alex was teaching Kelsey, that she could cheat and get away with it if she issued a little apology in the end.

But the personal aspect of Alex’s professional conduct concerned Brit even more. If Alex had no integrity as a coach, what sort of choices would she make when it came to things like fidelity and money? What values would she teach their children one day?

Brit had no answers. She had to face Alex and talk some sense into her.

She left her apartment early, and the darkness seemed appropriate to her mood. She and Alex had an hour to talk before they had to leave for school, and they needed privacy, so she drove the familiar roads to Alex’s house with hope and dread filling her by turns. The lights were on, and as she pulled into the driveway, she dialed Alex’s number. It went to voice mail.

Damn. There was no doorbell. Should she honk the car horn at six in the morning or just pound on the door? She dialed again. No answer. She honked and saw the curtain move behind the window of Alex’s apartment. Then the garage door opened, and Alex appeared like an apparition out of the garage into the morning, backlit by a dim bulb on the ceiling.

She stood still, with her arms folded across her chest, wearing just sweats and a hoodie on this chilly morning. She seemed to be waiting.

Brit summoned her courage and got out of the car.

“Hi,” she said.

“What’s up?” Alex’s tone was cool.

Brit tried to ignore it but was instantly on edge. “Can we talk?”

Brit walked closer, close enough to see Alex’s stony expression.

“What’s left to say?”

“Please, Alex. This is our future on the line. Don’t you think it’s worth a few minutes of your time?”

Alex nodded and turned, and Brit followed her through the garage and up the stairs to her apartment, as she’d done countless times before. On those occasions, they’d been building a friendship, and a relationship. It seemed so different now. The wonder and joy were gone, replaced by anger and confusion and fear.

“I was just about to make my coffee. Would you like a cup?”

“That would be great.”

Brit sat on the couch as Alex disappeared into the kitchen, and as she heard the familiar sounds of the Keurig brewing and coffee being stirred, she stared into the creamy brown leather couch, thinking of the scenes it had witnessed. Coaches’ meetings, movies, passionate lovemaking. Tickling and cuddling, reading and talking. In the six months since her first visit to Alex’s place, they’d said and done so many things together. They’d fallen in love. She loved Alex with all her heart, and she needed to make things right.

“I’m sorry I threw you out last night,” Brit said as Alex handed her the coffee.

Alex sat, putting a noticeable distance between them on the couch. Her sigh was audible. “Don’t be sorry. You were right.”

“I was?” Brit was shocked.

Alex gave her a crooked half smile. “Yes, I was wrong to keep this from you, and I understand your anger. I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry I let you down.”

Brit sniffled and smiled back. “I’m so relieved, Alex. I knew you’d do the right thing.”

Alex shook her head and gave her that sad smile again. “That’s where you’re wrong, Brit. I’m sorry I hurt you, but it doesn’t mean I’m doing anything differently. I can’t turn Kelsey in. I can’t ruin her life for one stupid mistake.”

“But…”

“No buts, Brit. Do you trust me?”

“I…” Brit said, looking at Alex. It seemed like she didn’t know Alex anymore. Perhaps she’d never known her at all. What was truly in Alex’s heart? Was she really the woman who’d given up flings and doing things the easy way, or was that just an experiment? Alex seemed to have a knack of getting her way, and this was just another example. She cast integrity aside in favor of convenience.

Brit didn’t know if she trusted Alex. She needed something from Alex, some concession, a willingness to right this wrong. Yet Alex seemed determined to stay on her crooked course. “I’m not sure. I need you to do the right thing, Alex. I need you to show me what kind of person you really are.”

Alex sighed. “I understand, Brit. I need to get ready. I’ll see you at school, okay?”

Brit shook her head. “So this is it? It’s over?”

Alex shrugged. “It could never work for us, Brit. We’re too different. It’s best if we just walk away now before we’re in too deep.”

“Alex, I’m already in deep. I love you! You love me! This is worth fighting for!”

“Not when we have to fight each other.”

Bouncing

Brit stood as the official blew her whistle to indicate a time-out. The starting five jogged over and sat as the bench players gathered behind them, watching Alex diagram a defensive play. They’d won the league championship and were in the state playoffs. The first game had been an easy win, but now they were down by five in the final minute of the second game.

Brit tried to stay focused, but it was difficult. Alex had stopped talking to her, stopped seeking her advice about which play to run and which player to substitute. And with Kelsey on the bench with her sprained ankle, they had a lot to debate. The worried look on Alex’s face crushed Brit, and she wanted to whisper something kind or encouraging, but she couldn’t. Alex no longer wanted to hear those things from her.

They’d trailed the whole game. From the opening tip the opponents had controlled the tempo, slowing things down and taking them out of their rhythm. At first, Brit hadn’t worried. But now, with only a minute left on the clock, she was concerned. If the Falcons didn’t foul, the other team would eat the clock and win. If they fouled, the opponents would have an opportunity to make free throws and increase the lead. The play Alex drew on her dry-erase board indicated they should go for the steal on the inbounds pass and foul if they came up empty. They’d settle for a two-point basket but take a three if they had one.