Both Sides of the Fence 4: Bad Blood (2 page)

 

 

“‘I always feel like somebody’s watching me,’” I sang along to the classic Rockwell song that played on my satellite radio in my car. I loved classic music or music that withstood the sands of time. My grandmother always said I had an old soul. I felt like it sometimes too.

Have you ever had the feeling that you were being followed, but couldn’t put your finger on it? Maybe I was feeling paranoid or maybe it was the song that brought back memories all of the drama from these last few years. Some of it still had me on edge at times. I had only been back in Baltimore a year and a half after living in California for a few years and now I was fresh into my first weeks at my new job. When I finished my degrees in human services, I applied and was offered a position at a nonprofit organization for dysfunctional families called Inside-Out: A Family Inside and Out. I wanted to channel what I learned from my family to help others. Our family had been through so much and survived that it was the only logical career choice to make.

California and Baltimore were like night and day when it came to living. Like New Yorkers, Californians moved fast and almost never slept. Here in Maryland things shut down early. I liked California, but Maryland was home for me. I had expectations of slowing it down and taking life easy when I touched down in Baltimore. I reconnected with one of my girls from high school, Jasmine, and now we were kicking it on the regular. She was still cool people to me even though she could be weird at times. I didn’t have many girls as friends, for drama purposes, but now I was looking for a calmer lifestyle and friends. So she was one of the only ones I paid any attention to in high school. I was a hothead not too long ago, but all that ever got me was in trouble. So here I was living the good life as a full-fledged adult. It is crazy to have to pay your bills and manage your money but I had good training from my parents and I was adjusting.

I was now living on my own and with a new career and even a budding relationship with my first boyfriend. Troy was such a nice guy and so attentive. He was so new and refreshing. I could admit that it was scary as well. We had been dating for some months and it was going strong. He made me smile every time I thought about him. He never pushed me to go all the way and I was glad that he was so patient.

I pulled into the local Dunkin’ Donuts about a mile from my job. I had to get my coffee and doughnut fix before I made my way into the office. I opened the door to my midsized SUV and stepped out one leg at a time. My four-inch heels looked good on the end of my statuesque legs. I had on a tan, one-piece, knee-length dress that was appropriate for the office environment and I still turned heads out in public. I loved being a lady.

I took nice small strides as I walked to the door. My real hair, which flowed and ended right past my shoulders, was tousled slightly by a gust of wind into my face. I removed it as I made it to the door of the establishment. A nice gentleman smiled and opened the door for me.

“Thank you,” I spoke and then smiled back at him. Life was good for me. I walked toward the counter and stood in line with my order on my mind.

“Welcome to Dunkin’ Donuts, what can I get for you today?” the polite, older, Hispanic-looking woman said as she smiled at me.

“I’ll take a medium French vanilla iced coffee, a plain bagel, and cream cheese. I would also like two Old Fashioned Donuts.”

“I see you still like old things,” someone almost hissed from behind me. They were close up on me and it made me tense up a little. My heart dropped because I knew the voice all too well.

“Oh, ah, hey, Antoinette,” I turned and spoke to my ex-lover with nervousness in my voice. She was still as tall as my father and thick, too. She looked manlier than I remembered her.

“Ashley, you are growing up so nicely. And you still stacked like a brick house I see.” She looked me up and down with what I knew were impure thoughts running through her mind. She still looked the same with the exception of a few gray hairs sprinkled in her hair.

“Thank you.” I smiled politely. I secretly cringed on the inside from looking at my choice clearly for the first time. I didn’t know what in the hell I was thinking when I was with her. She was old enough to be my mother and she wasn’t all that attractive. They said I was rebellious, but I knew for sure I was desperate as well. Yes, desperate summed it up for me.

“Ma’am, your order is ready.” The cashier interrupted us. I silently thanked God for the escape.

“Well, nice seeing you, Antoinette, but I have to be going.” I grabbed my food and made a quick exit to the entrance of the store. The sounds of my heels could be heard on the floor because I was pressed to get out of there and to avoid any type of scene.

“Wait up, Ash; let me holler at you for a minute.”

Holler?
I wondered why she was speaking slang at her age. She sounded like my father trying to play like he was one of us, but was so out of tune with today’s slang.

I kept going and stopped when I got outside the store. I was already embarrassed as it was. Being in her presence made me uncomfortable, being that our past history was such a crazy one I didn’t want to be around her for a long time. She had a crazy streak and I didn’t want to do or say anything to trigger it today.

“So what have you been up to lately?” she asked, while looking me directly in my eyes. She continued, “Word around the way was that you were all the way in California living the Hollywood life. I know you did a couple of bitches while you were up there. You lay that tongue on them or what?”

Damn, I know people aren’t sitting around talking about me. Her ass must have been tracking me or something. Technology is something.
Her ass could have been one of them fake Facebook or Twitter followers. The hell if I knew.

“Nothing, I’m living my life,” I spoke, bypassing all of that other nonsense she spat out of her mouth. I tried to hold my nerves on the inside but my eye started to twitch a little. I wanted to get away from her.

“That’s good. Are you seeing anybody?”

“Now that’s not any of your business,” I spoke with a shot of adrenaline and confidence that came from out of nowhere.

“Wow, you still a feisty and spicy sister I see.” She laughed a little.

The nervousness in me subsided a little. Maybe she had mellowed out too. “Yeah, that’s me, through and through,” I said and then smiled. I had calmed down quite a bit since my teenage years, but I knew that I still had a few sparks of wildness left in me. “Look it’s been nice but I actually have to run.” I lied about the nice part, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“Yeah, okay.”

I heard her speak as I walked away and toward my car. I surely didn’t want her to see what car I drove because I didn’t want her to know anything about me even though we’d been sexually intimate. I hurried and hopped into my car as fast as I could. I wanted to pull off and be ghost in a matter of seconds, but I wasn’t fast enough because she was beside my car before I could pull off.

“I still love you, girl. I know I messed up but I want another chance to make it right.” She looked serious. “Plus you’re old enough now. I want to stamp my name on that pussy of yours with my tongue again.”

“Antoinette, that is not going to happen. What we had is gone and it was wrong.”

“Did you hear me when I said that I still love you, girl?” she asked, skipping right past what I had spoken a second earlier.

She was leaning on the frame of my driver’s side car door looking at me hard. I squirmed in my seat a little. Her focus on me made me feel really uncomfortable. I watched her close her eyes and then she waved her nose in the air like she smelled some fresh bread being baked.

“Damn, girl, I can still smell your pussy. You still fresh like a bouquet of roses. Girl, let me get another taste of that goodness. There’s a motel right down the block that I can take you to and flip you over and—”

“Anyway.” I squeezed my legs closed and aggressively interrupted her trip down memory lane. “I heard you and I know you heard what I said. That . . . is not . . . going to happen. It’s over. Read the eulogy and then bury the coffin, sugar.” I put my car in reverse and pulled off before she could get another word in. She fell and hit the ground because she didn’t think I would pull off like I did. I was not in the mood to go back and forth with her or anybody for that matter.

“Bitch, it’s not over until I say it’s over,” she yelled as I pulled off. “You’ll always be mine! Always!”

I shook my head in shame as I drove down the street. “I can’t even go to Dunkin’ Donuts in peace.” I said as I looked over to my food, which was in the passenger seat. I checked my rearview mirror a few times to see if she was following me in her car. I exhaled when I realized that she was not behind me. At least I hoped she wasn’t following me, since I didn’t know what she was driving or if she was driving. Here I was trying to be the new and improved Ashley and people from my past wanted to drag me back down. They didn’t want me to dig back down and bring back ol’ girl, because it wouldn’t be pretty.

I walked into work with a smile on my face even though I was agitated on the inside.
How could she embarrass me like that in public? Did my no really warrant that type of response? Calm down, Ashley, calm down.

In my field of work I saw families who were in crisis situations and trying to work things out. I had two families I was working with for a few weeks who were on the verge of killing one another; one family was from the deep part of the hood and the other one was from a Baltimore County area. The one from the Baltimore County area was much like my family. They both had serious issues and were recommended to us by the State of Maryland for rehabilitation. I was excited and apprehensive at the same time when it came to helping these families. I didn’t want to do anything that would promote further damage.

I walked into my office and turned on my computer. I had a video message that popped up as soon as I logged on. It was from Troy. I instantly perked up and a smile spread across my face. I listened to the brief message of him asking to go out to get something to eat. I immediately dialed his number on the PC and hoped he was available to talk. When his face popped up I knew that he was available. We talked for a few minutes and scheduled a date for after work.

Troy was a gentleman. He was the best thing that happened to me in a long time. He was a very “strapping” guy, as my father said it.

He was a tall guy, but very mild mannered and patient. He was handsome and very easy on the eyes. I was really excited to be with him. He was a few years younger than me, but he looked mature for his age. He was a detective and a good one, too. Only problem was that I didn’t tell him about my past. You know, the lesbian thing.

My mom and dad asked if I had the conversation with him and I lied and told them that I had a very open and honest conversation with him. Yes, I know what you are saying. I should have known better by now. I did, but this was a new situation for me. This was my first relationship with a male. I had to feel him out first and see if he was ready for that type of information. That may sound like an excuse but I was scared. Yes, I said scared. I am scared of being rejected. Plus, how do you tell a guy that you were once a carpet muncher? I asked God for forgiveness as soon as I left their house.

I hated that I couldn’t be honest with Troy, but he was homophobic to the max. I had seen him literally cringe in the presence of someone in “the life.” It was like he was terrified of them. He would tense up and clam up tightly. I didn’t know how I was going to do it but I really needed to let him know so I could get my mind cleared. I decided that tonight would be the night that I would tell him.

“Yes, tonight will be the night.” I nodded my head and adjusted myself in my chair, getting ready to start my day at work.

 

 

Being a sports agent had it perks. Right now I was in the club with a few ladies clamoring for my attention. The music was pumping loudly and there were women everywhere. It was an invite from a professional football player for Baltimore who shall remain nameless. There were bottles popping all over the place. This was a party of all parties. Being that I was never really a party person; at first it was a culture shock for me. Even with all the drama that my family had been through I had never been in a wild environment like this one. Scantily dressed ladies were everywhere and some even confused me for a professional player because I was built well. I was enjoying myself too much to tell them that I was a sports agent. It felt good to get out of my shell after all of this time. Who knew that there was a party animal that lived inside of me and was ready to go crazy, like I was doing right at this moment?

“So you going to let me take you home tonight?” I whispered into the ear of this chick who was thick in all the right places and had her breasts up against me like she want me to suck on them right then and there. Yes, I was still freaky but I didn’t get down like that in public; maybe in a bathroom stall or something but not out in the open. I wasn’t sideshow material. I did all my nasty shit behind closed doors. The whole time I was checking her neck out to see if she had an Adam’s apple like me. If you knew my past you’d know why I did this. If her hands were as big as mine were then I made up an excuse and moved on to the next lady of interest. Shit was real out here. Nobody was who or what they said they were. I had been some places and seen some things that I shouldn’t have been exposed to at an early age as I was. But as the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” My ass should be as strong as the Incredible Hulk or something for all of the stuff I been through and made it out of.

Living on my own now had its advantages and banging girls’ backs out in the comfort of my own apartment was one of them. Now I didn’t sleep with as many women as the jocks I worked for, but I got my fair share and they weren’t bottom feeders either. Well, maybe a few.

“Hey, Lex, are you trying to go to the after party at my crib? I’m ready to blow this place and take this thing all the way live,” the athlete I was invited here by asked me.

I wasn’t about to turn down some free liquor and a couple of groupies trying to get into the pants of anybody close to or assumed to be close to the professional athlete. He was semi well-known and he sure partied like a rock star. I was all game.

“Hell yeah.” I hopped off of the sofa in one of the VIP rooms we were partying in and was ready to go get white boy wasted.

A few more folks got up and we all made our way to our cars and followed my client to his house. We pulled up to a gated community about twenty minutes from the club that we left. It was close to one in the morning. I knew I had to go to work in the morning, but the party animal in me told the responsible me to chill the fuck out.

This guy was making good money because he was living up in a double-story condominium with all of the bells and whistles to go with it: Jacuzzi, swimming pool, and exercise room. It was about twenty to thirty people who filed into his residence and it didn’t take long before the party got pumped up again. Man, I was drinking like a fish in water. I knew I was going to be paying for it in a few hours but I still didn’t care. I was making up for all of the years of being the “good” twin. I was now the “party over here” twin. I was partying every weekend.

 

 

I woke up to a dog licking my face. I opened my eyes slowly because I felt fucked up all over. I was in a bed with my shirt off and a bottle of vodka next to me.

“Ahhh,” I softly moaned as I tried to sit up. It was a slow process but I finally got up on the side of the bed. As I put my foot down, I felt something mushy and prayed to God that it wasn’t what I thought it was. I peered over a little bit to see.

“Shit,” I groaned and shook my pounding head and then I pulled my foot out of the pile of puke. I looked around the room to see if there was something I could wipe it off with. There was nothing, but I did notice a chick lying half naked on the floor.

“Damn, did I fuck her?” I wondered out loud. She was naked from the waist up so I knew I at least sucked on her breast. I was a breast man for sure. My pants were still intact so I assumed that I didn’t. I didn’t even know who this chick was. All I remember was having a few drinks with her and talking about frogs or some shit. I had learned that men would listen to anything from a chick to get laid.

I had no clue as what happened last night. I looked at my watch and it read seven-thirty. I had an hour to get home and then to work. Even though I got drunk, I still made it to work on time even if I had a hangover from hell. The sudden urge to piss hit me and I slowly rose to my feet and went on a journey to relieve my bladder.

Man, there was limp bodies everywhere. The music was still on blaring. I was surprised that the neighbors didn’t call the police, but, hey, when you have money I guess you don’t have to really worry about authority like the rest of the world.

“That was one hell of a party.” I smiled as I stepped over a victim on the floor in front of the door of the room I woke up in. He was contorted with one of his arms behind his back as he laid on it. It looked painful. “His ass is going to feel that for a few days.”

Since this was the first time I was in this dude’s house, I had no clue as to where the bathroom was located. He had a lot of rooms in this condo. It made me wonder what he was paying for this place.

When I located the bathroom I was relieved. I went in, relieved myself, washed my hands, and made my way downstairs. Most of the house was still asleep so I walked around as quiet as I could trying to get out as fast as I could.

“My movies!” I exclaimed. I covered my mouth to hush my pitch. I was at his front door getting ready to leave when I remembered that I let him hold some of my DVDs and Blu-rays a few days ago. I needed to get those back. From the look of his house he was not the most organized person. I like to keep my movies and things pristine. Especially since almost everything was digital now. I was collector of movies and music and I rarely let people hold my things. I doubled back and located his entertainment room.

“Wow, dude is a slob.” I shook my head.
I guess money can’t buy you cleanliness, but he damn sure has enough to pay someone to clean up this mess. I hope they are on vacation or something.

“He doesn’t ever have to worry about me giving him any more of my things ever again,” I grumbled as I located a pile of DVDs and Blu-rays that was piled up without any protection on them. I cringed. I was so pissed that I grabbed the stack of about ten and walked out of his house. I would call him later to get the cases that went with them.

I got home, laid the discs on my coffee table, and quickly prepared myself for work. I was out of my house in record time. I made it to work with a little time to spare. I had a slight hangover and vowed again that I wouldn’t drink at a party so hard the next time I went out, but I knew that would be like talking to the wall that I just parked my car in front of.

I got off of the elevator and walked into the office area where I worked with a couple of other sports agents and made my way pass the receptionist desk that was made of a circle with offices spread around it. There was a new girl sitting at the desk. For some reason this company couldn’t keep a receptionist too long. She was beautiful and ripe for the picking. I instantly perked up and put a devilishly handsome smile on my face like only I could do. I had a very brief movie of me fucking her over the side of my desk or something like that before I got up to the desk.

“You must be new here, because the sun seemed to be shining a little bit brighter outside. You are like a bright ray of sunshine.” I looked directly into her eyes as I spoke.

“Who are you and why are you at my desk?” she spat out. There wasn’t an inkling of a smile on her face. She was going to be a hard nut to get I could see.

“I’m sure you’ve heard of me. I’m Alex Black. I’m an agent here. You didn’t see my name on the door to my office?”

“You are one of many. How can I help you today?” she asked brushing past what I said.

Damn, this girl going hard. Her pussy must be fortified like Fort Knox.
I was going to get the combination to the pussy if it was the last thing I did. Mind you this was a white chick with this blunt attitude. They are usually a bit more reserved in the work environment from my past experiences. But I guessed that was a thing of the past nowadays. Everyone was wild.

“Don’t worry you’ll get to know me very shortly. Believe me,” I said; then I turned and walked toward my office.

“Yeah, okay, keep on believing that,” I heard her say, doubtfully, as I walked away.

I peeked back over my shoulder and gave her one last look and a wink. She sucked her teeth and continued to do whatever she was doing before I walked up to her desk and apparently into her space. I liked a strong woman because they fucked harder and sucked harder, like they had a point to prove.

I walked into my office and flopped down in my highly comfortable chair. I was exhausted. Most of the time, my hangovers consisted of exhaustion. I was testing the girl out front. I didn’t really want her per se. Well, if the opportunity came along I sure would knock her off but right now I was too tired to do anything. All I wanted to do was go home and sit in front of the television and chill out by myself. But I was at work and I had to do some work. I loved my paycheck and the things that it afforded me.

I turned on my PC and looked at my schedule for the day. I only had two clients today and I was relieved that it was only minor issues.
I might check and see if my boss will let me leave early.
It wasn’t long before my next client came in and I began my workday. All I was thinking about the whole time was making it to the end of the day or my day that is.