Boswell, LaVenia (14 page)

            Sitting in TGIF for dessert and coffee after playing goofy golf one night, Jenny was feeling quite nervous and upset over something she’d heard just that day.  She’d tried not to reveal her unsettled emotions while Jason enjoyed laughing at her poor putting abilities.  Being a great golfer, like his dad, Jason was trying to teach her some of his techniques for close and long range putting but her mind wasn’t into it.  Not tonight.

            She was remembering what some girl in the bathroom at school had said to her friends in there with her.  The girl stated that she’d heard Jason was on the prowl now, and she was going to try and get him to take her out.

            Jenny wrestled with herself, feeling she was being greedy with his time.  He deserved someone to love.  She felt selfish, angry and worried.

            When it came time to pay the bill, Jenny quickly thrust her money at the server who looked at Jason when Jason just as swiftly brought up his hand to thwart the server from taking her money.  Jason shook his head no with a frown and the server walked off with Jason’s card instead of her cash.

            Suddenly Jason’s face went darker still.  “Did Scott let you pay when you went out?”

            “Of course,” she responded.  Scott was always broke, but she didn’t want to mention that part.  She’d paid on each date but one and then it was because she refused to offer, two out of three dates, humm.

            “There you go . . . .” Jason said by way of annoyed explanation.  “I chose the best path, and that is to always allow my girl to relax and enjoy my company when going out on a date with me.  I don’t want her concerned about how she’ll get the funds to pay for her meal.”  He added, “Besides, it was I who asked you out tonight.”

            “So you did,” she answered, thinking over what he’d just revealed.

            What did he mean by - my girl?  What dates?  The idea that he hadn’t been seeing anyone at all, at any time over the past two years was ridiculous.  But . . . the very thought of it made her feel rowdy, like ants were under her skin, and just plain maddening as all get out!

            The server returned, Jason signed and out the restaurant door they went.  He had his hand on her back as he pointed her toward his car.

            Trying to sound non-chalet and very casual she began with, “Jas, what females have you been dating?  Are they members of your church?  Do they attend those clubs and organizations you belong to?  I heard a girl at school today say you were on the prowl and she was gonna try and get you to take her out.  She bragged quite a bit saying she was in one of your clubs.  I’ve never met a soul who fills up his time with more social gatherings and meetings than you do, Jason Zonelli.  I mean, it’s a wonder you can even get a passing grade, what with all the parties, clubs and stuff you attend.”  She paused for a breath and hurriedly asked before he could respond while he was opening her car door, “What’s her name?”  Turning to face him she hurriedly added, “Does she treat you good?  Is it serious?  Is she pretty?”

            In Jennifer’s heart of hearts she hoped the poor girl was a charity case as far as Jason was concerned.  She wanted her to be homely with crooked teeth and blotchy skin and maybe even warts.  Yes!  The poor dear was covered in warts and she had allergies that made her scratch herself till her skin oozed and stuff.  Her face would swell from just about everything.  Pitiful, just pitiful!

            His eyes were twinkling when he responded with a smug smile, “Jen, I’m not the sort of man to kiss and tell.”

            Her jaw plummeted.  “What?”  She felt like a hand was squeezing her heart and all the air was leaving her lungs, and her bones were melting as the whole world stopped on its axis.

            “You
kissed
her, Jason?  You actually
kissed
her?!”  Her tone was one of complete shock.  They had never kissed, not ever, not even a light lip brush, not once!  And she had tried, at one time, back when, a while back, and he’d ignored her, acting like he didn’t know what she’d been trying to do!

            Jason put his hand on the top of her head to get her to duck her head in as he helped her get seated.  He even leaned over her to buckle her seat belt since he had waited for her to do it but she sat there unmoving, staring out the windshield with a thunderstruck look on her face.

            She heard his steps on the pavement of the parking lot as he walked to get to his driver’s side, but she wasn’t seeing anything except in her mind Jason kissing a beautiful young woman.  Darned if the woman wasn’t kissing him right back too, very enthusiastically!

            Jumping out of her side of the car she ran around to his side before he could climb behind the wheel.  He stared at her like she was wildly deranged, but that didn’t stop her. 

            Grabbing his shirt collar on both sides of his neck, she pulled him to her and pressed her lips to his so swiftly he couldn’t stop her even if he’d been trying.  She allowed her whole heart to come through in that kiss, as her arms left his collar and went around his neck.  She felt him try to pull back at first, for a split second, then he relaxed and sort of let it flow and flow and flow, as he kissed her back.  Boy, did he ever kiss back!  Jenny had never felt a kiss like this before, it was, well it was galactic!

            They were wrapped up as snug as a cocoon in each other’s arms before Jason finally pulled his head back and exclaimed shocked and breathless, “Jenny, Jenny.  Oh, my sweet, sweet precious Jenny.”

            He wiped tears from her cheeks as she warned, “Jas, please don’t be kissing that other woman again.  I just can’t stand the thought.  Can’t stand it!”

            His laughter finally came through her heart broken mind and she heard him ask, “Is that what brought this on?  Are you jealous?”

            Reality returned and she tried to push away, and he let her, for a short distance, but held her hands in front of his lips and began kissing her finger tips.  She was trying to come up with all sorts of excuses for her behavior but finally gave up, it was hopelessly obvious.  “Yeah, guess I am,” she admitted, sniffling the tears back.  “Sorry.”

            “Aww, Jen.”  He held her gently next to him like she was a fragile bird with a broken wing.  “I can’t say a word about you feeling jealous when I’ve been seething since that video came out.  Well, actually before then.  Okay, a long time before then.  Every time I saw you with any guy my soul was in pain.  I actually had to fast to get control over my fury and anger,” he paused before adding, “and tremendous jealousy.”

            Heaving out a big sigh he said with a self depreciating laugh, “It’s been eating me alive, bit by bit.  I’ve imagined about every wicked torture that could be done to Scott.  And I couldn’t seem to find forgiveness for him, no where, no how, no way.  He’d hurt my Jenny.  I saw the fear on your face and you trying to get him to turn you lose.  I wanted to rip him apart, slowly and most painfully.  Father Jose has been hearing my confessions as well as counseling me about my feelings for you, for more than two years.”

            “Wow,” Jenny muttered in complete surprised bewilderment.

            The restaurant parking area was beside a lot of old oaks; they wandered over to one of the trees, hand in hand and continued their conversation.

            Two years ago?  Jenny asked, “For two years?  That’s when you decided not to become a priest isn’t it?”

            Jason’s laughter had some bitterness in it.  “Yeah, well, it is sort of contradictive to be planning to become a priest while also starting to realize you’re wanting to be a husband, lover and father.  The two don’t mix.”

            He looked deep into her eyes and admitted, “Jenny . . . I love you.  It’s a true, honest love.  I’ve loved you since we were children only twelve years old.  I know I will always love you.  I don’t expect you to feel the same, not now, and maybe not ever.”

            He paused for a little while before asking, “I do wish you would allow me the opportunity to continue to . . . court you?” 

            Jason kept his eyes on their intertwined fingers.  Now he looked at her to see how she’d taken that last statement.

            Courting?  Jenny quickly looked down and said, “What a quaint word.  Courting.”  She knew that people used to say they were courting when they were planning on marrying.  That thought made her gasp.  Marriage?  Is that what he wanted?  With her?  Marriage, forever and for eternity, for she knew that’s how he viewed marriage, for always?

            He admitted, “I’m hesitant to bring it up, and it’s probably stupid of me to do so.”  Tilting her chin so she couldn’t hide her eyes, he asked, “Did my declaration of love upset you?”

            Her heart was beating so fast it felt like a hummingbird was caged inside her chest.  He’d been courting her?  He was looking into her eyes with such, such . . . love, she now understood and realized.  He’d been looking at her like that for a long, long time, for weeks, no, months, no, years, yes for years.  He’d loved her for years and she knew it only just now.

            Hitting him in the chest with her palm she exclaimed, “Jason Zonelli, why have you waited all this time to tell me?  I never knew.  Never knew!”

            A thought returned, she remembered him and her arguing two years ago and her more or less turning her back on him.  She felt shame for having hurt him, she knows now it had to have hurt him worse than she’d ever thought.  “I’m so sorry Jas.  I never would have hurt you if I had known.  I’d been afraid you’d think less of me if I stayed around.  Because of the things we don’t agree on, and though you never acted like it, I feared you’d grow to hate me and I couldn’t face that.  I know that now, not then.  Since the Scotty incident you’ve been so wonderful and all, I thought maybe you’d forgiven me.”

            “Forgive you?  Jen, for what?  You have a right to think and feel anyway you want.  Never hide your real, true feelings from me.  Promise?” he asked with a smile as he held her to his chest and savored the sensation of her so near at long last.

            “Only if you promise me the same thing,” she answered before tasting his lips once more.  It made her head spin.

            “Jen, hon, I promise, but know this, nothing on earth would ever make me hate you.  I thought you couldn’t stand to be around me because I’m so obstinate and it caused you to dislike me.  And you allowing me to be with you again has been like Heaven for me.”

            They laughed at the thoughts they both had.

            Holding her shoulders he kisses her forehead, eyes and lips then asks, “About the courting, Jenny, answer me, please?”

            She saw in her mind that beautiful woman kissing him again and knew her answer.  Smiling into his shining eyes she admitted for the first time to herself and to him, “I’m crazy about you big guy!  And if you think I’m gonna let you get away from me without a hurricane of a fight – well, I simply won’t let you go, I can’t let that happen.  Jas, I’m in love with you too.”

            It was his turn to gasp.  He looked so stunned and happy at the same time it made her almost cry.  He asked, “Jen, are you certain you feel that way?  It’s not just the feeling for this moment?”

            Caressing his face with both her hands she answers, “All this time I’ve been in love with you and so afraid of your rejection that I hid it even from myself.”

            They hug, clinging to one another, savoring the moment.  Then Jason steps back and starts to look and sound a little upset, “Jennifer, my love, did you hear me?  What I asked about courting you?”

            She was perplexed, why was he upset?  She frowned at him a moment trying to put the pieces together again, she’d had them and they had somehow flittered away while he’d been kissing her eyes and fingers and smiling so tenderly at her.  She knew she could drown in his beautiful eyes.  Realizing he was waiting on her to respond she tried to remember what the question was.  Dots began appearing before her eyes and she knew she was seeing with dark edges in her vision while she suddenly felt so weak.

            “Breathe, Jen, breathe,” she heard him call out.  She did, she took a deep breath, and the world returned, except she found herself sitting on the ground.