Authors: Fha User
The hours dragged on. Vi’s parents arrived a little while later needing
more comfort than she was able to give. Rising to the task, Vi tried her best
to quiet her mother’s piteous weeping, all the while thinking,
I need someone
to hold me. I need to cry. When will I have time to cry?
As that desperate plea swept through her mind, she silently wished that
everyone would leave.
Right now!
Just get out!
Just as quickly, she instantly felt ashamed for even thinking such unkind
thoughts. Vi ushered her mother to a nearby chair and went down on one
knee beside her just as the doorbell rang again. Steeling herself, she rose and
prepared to meet whoever it was. As she made her way to the door, Clayton
touched her elbow gently.
“Mrs. Simpson, I’ve got Tony on the line.”
Handing her the cordless phone, he kept his hand on her elbow, guiding Vi
a short distance away from the gaggle of people in the rest of the house.
Leading her down the hall, Clay ushered her into the kitchen. Once there, he
stood in the open doorway with his back to her, shielding her from prying
eyes in other parts of the house and simultaneously ensuring she had a
measure of privacy.
Gripping the phone tight, Vi spoke into the receiver, “Tony?”
“Mom, what’s going on? How come Clayton called me? Is everything
alright?”
“Tony, Sweetie, listen I have some very bad news to tell you.” She sensed
the alarm in his voice.
“What is it mom? Is somebody hurt? Did Janae get hurt?”
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Pausing to gather her courage, Vi quietly responded, “No, honey, .it’s not
Janae. It’s Craig.”
“Craig?” he asked in a whisper.
“Craig was shot today in a holdup and he’s dead, baby.”
“Dead? Oh, mom, dead? But, but he can’t be. He promised we’d go to
the Mets game next week.”
Several seconds passed before Vi called his name through the receiver. It
was hard for Tony to speak, and when he did, it came out cracked and high
pitched like it sounded a year ago when his voice was changing.
“Ah, mom.”
“I know, honey. I know.”
Vi heard him crying softly through the phone line. It broke her heart to
hear him crying and not be able to reach out and hold him. Taking a quick,
calming breath, Vi spoke to Tony quietly.
“Tony, listen honey, I need for you to come home right away. Put Mrs.
Washington on the phone so I can speak with her, okay?”
“Okay.”
Trying her best to be strong for him, Vi told Tony before hanging up,
“Honey, I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
Mrs. Washington came on the line, offered her condolences and promised
to have Tony home as soon as possible. Vi dried her eyes as she hung up the
phone and turned around to find Clayton still shielding her from the rest of
the room. He turned around quietly from where he’d been standing and
faced her.
“That was tough.”
“Yeah,” she acknowledged with a slight nod of her head.
“Do you want me to go and get him?”
“No, thank you Clayton, that won’t be necessary. The Washington’s
assured me he’d be home soon.”
“Okay, but really it would be no bother. I could leave now and get him for
you.”
Appreciation flooded her again and she walked over to him and touched his
forearm lightly. “I know you would and I really appreciate the offer, but
he’s not that far and they promised to leave right away. But, if you really
meant it earlier, I would truly appreciate you picking Janae up at the airport.
I don’t want to be gone when Tony gets home.”
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“I meant it. Don’t worry, I’ll be waiting for her as soon as her flight gets
in.”
She turned from him then and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. Clayton
took the chair across from her. After a few seconds passed, he asked her,
“Can I get you something? Coffee? Food?”
“No, I couldn’t keep anything down, but you go ahead.”
“No, I couldn’t,” Just then, Cynthia came in the kitchen and quietly told Vi,
“Clarence is here.”
Vi didn’t realize she’d been waiting to hear that name, until it was spoken.
Clarence Simpson, her father-in-law, was the most beloved man she knew.
She walked down the hallway toward him. At seventy, Clarence was very
tall and fit for his age. Milk chocolate skin was stretched over his kind face
where life left its mark in wrinkles and spots, but the laugh lines around his
eyes and mouth revealed he’d found joy along with the pain life brought him.
His hair and beard had long since turned gray, but his eyes were still the
same warm brown they’d been since the first time she’d met him. Clarence
was solid as an anchor and gentle as a lamb. Meeting her halfway, he opened
his arms and enfolded Vi in his embrace.
“Vi, honey, I’m so sorry,” Clarence told her in his soothing, deep baritone
voice. She didn’t miss the grief written across his features or the unshed
tears in his eyes. “I know this hurts, but we can get through this Vi. We
done this before, you and I. God saw us through then and guess what, he’ll
see us through again dear.”
Consoling her parents earlier left Vi feeling drained, but now her spirits
lifted a fraction. Listening to Clarence’s comforting words was just what she
needed right now. If anyone knew what she was feeling right now, it was
Clarence. She thought about another day when the two of them had stood
just like this, grieving. That was the day she’d lost a husband and Clarence
had lost a son. She stood in his strong embrace, feeling closer to this man
than her own father, not at all surprised that his thoughts and feelings
mirrored her own.
The evening wore on and an endless number of people came and went,
bringing more casseroles and desserts. Expressing their condolences, two of
her neighbors met Vi at the door, handing her a covered dish. Vi accepted it,
thanked them and quickly made her way to the kitchen to put it with the
others. On her way to the kitchen, however, she passed the dining room
window and glimpsed Clayton standing in the front yard. She watched him
walk across the yard and turn off the sprinkler, which had sat forgotten in the
same spot, continuously saturating the same area all day long. As he bent to
pick up the hose, she saw him swipe a hand across his eyes. Vi made her
way to the front of the house and walked out onto the front porch. Sensing
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her presence, he turned to face her. Vi watched him methodically wind the
hose around his bent elbow and open palm.
“You didn’t have to bother with that,” she started to say.
He broke eye contact and responded quietly, “Yeah, I know. I didn’t have
anything better to do. Besides, it was getting pretty soggy over here.”
Not terribly concerned with the saturated ground near his feet, she continued
to watch him. He was obviously upset and doing a very good job of trying
to hide it. Vi closed the short distance between them.
“Clayton, why don’t you come back inside?”
“No, I’m fine, really,” he cut in quickly, not giving her a chance to finish.
“I’d better get going anyway if I want to get to the airport on time.” And just
like that, he dropped the hose in a neatly wrapped pile on the grass, strode
across the yard, got in his car and left.
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SIX
The pilot announced their pending arrival at Kennedy airport just as the
seatbelt lights came on. Trays were pushed up and books were quickly put
away as everyone buckled up and prepared for landing. Watching the
bright lights of the city below her, Janae wondered idly about her mother,
and how she was holding up. How was Tony? Were grandma and grandpa
alright?
The plane landed safely and everyone rose as the seatbelt light went off.
Moving down the aisle, Carol and Janae waited patiently as people reached
overhead to pull down their carry-on luggage. Since 9/11, only passengers
were allowed beyond the baggage area, so Janae wasn’t concerned that no
one was waiting at the gate as they got off the plane. Quickly making her
way through the airport, Janae assumed her family would be at the baggage
area. When she arrived there, she was totally surprised to see Clayton
Marshall standing at the Delta baggage turnstile.
“Clayton,” Janae cried, dropped her small carry-on bag and rushed toward
him.
He opened his arms and gathered her in a huge bear hug. Glad to see him,
Janae swayed slightly in his strong embrace, her toes lightly grazed the
carpet beneath her feet. Several moments passed as they held onto one
another, totally oblivious to the crowd of people rushing by, anxious to be on
their way. After a few moments, he placed his large hands on both of her
shoulders, setting Janae away from him. He stared down at her and it was
obvious she’d spent the entire flight crying.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I keep thinking this can’t be happening.”
Lowering her eyes, Janae trailed off, unable to finish her thought. Clayton
gathered her in his arms again and Janae clung to him, this time doubling her
arms around the back of his neck, as overwhelming grief washed over her.
Although this was the first time the two of them had ever really embraced, it
felt oddly familiar. Since her brother, Craig, and this man had become
roommates four years ago, she’d secretly dreamed of being in Clayton’s
arms, just like this. It crossed Janae’s mind now, how peculiar that it should
happen at a time like this. No one knew about the huge crush she’d
developed for Clay, except Janae’s best friend. Over a zillion times she’d
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thought about acting on her feelings for him, but something in the way Clay
treated her made Janae hesitate. Although he was a bit older—ten years to
be exact—Clayton had always treated Janae like a baby sister. Like Craig’s
baby sister.
She tightened her arms around his neck and lost herself in the moment,
completely forgetting where they were until someone brushed against her.
Immediately breaking the spell, she turned to see an elderly woman reach for
a suitcase as it moved slowly along the turnstile. Suddenly ashamed of
herself, Janae released her hold on Clayton and abruptly moved out of his
embrace. Remembering why he held her, Janae struggled to compose herself
and mentally push her personal feelings aside.
When they separated Clayton shook hands with Janae’s friend, Carol. He
helped them collect their luggage and carried all four bags with ease as they
made their way through the exit doors, walking briskly toward his car. Once
there, Clayton put the bags in the trunk, opened the rear door for Carol then
helped Janae into the front passenger seat.
No one said a word on the short ride from the airport. Carol sat quietly in
the back, while Janae stared out the passenger window, with puffy red eyes.
Clayton cleared his throat and opened the windows on his old beater. The
lack of air conditioning didn’t matter so much at this time of the day, as a
gentle breeze blew inside the car. He thought about how he and Craig spent
half the day last Saturday trying to fix the air conditioning in this very car.
After several hours, Clayton recalled telling Craig it didn’t make sense to
waste the rest of a perfectly good Saturday on this when his new truck would
be arriving soon.
The new truck!
With everything that went on today, he’d completely
forgotten about it. He’d been so hyped about picking it up earlier today,
and for weeks it was all he and Craig had talked about. They’d made plans
to rent a couple of dirt bikes, haul them in the back and drive across the
country on their next vacation. At a red light up ahead, Clayton quickly
checked his incoming calls and saw the dealer had tried to reach him four
times today. After everything that happened this afternoon, it would have to
wait. Picking up the new vehicle now seemed so insignificant.
Janae was deep in thought, hardly aware of traffic speeding by outside her
window. All through high school and even after she went off to college and
Craig moved away from home, she and her brother had remained close. She
always thought about the two of them married with kids of their own, those
kids would be close just like she and her brother had been. Now, for some
reason, she felt cheated because Craig would never get married or have kids.
Her kids would never play with his. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, as