Book of Life (12 page)

I set to another task as I carefully navigated my way across the room and plucked a small stuffed animal off the shelves on the wall. I opened my mouth, thinking of words I’d heard Jake say and wanting to mimic them, but I didn’t know how to position my lips. There was a mirror on the wall and I approached it. I looked at my reflection, the same reflection I’d seen in the hunter’s cabin. I tried to move my lips again, regurgitating an array of sounds, but nothing came out the way I expected it to. I felt silly. It was useless.

My eyes fell to the ground and I sighed. I turned toward the door. How long were Jake’s guests going to be here? And why wasn’t I allowed to meet them? I stepped toward the handle and grabbed it, twisting it open and peeking my head into the hall. No one was there, not that I expected anyone to be.

I stepped into the hall, now able to hear the echo of voices stretch up the stairs and scratch my ears. I wanted to know what they were saying. I took another step, and then another, standing flush with the wall as though this hid me. The texture of the wall was rough against the palm of my hands. Down the long, narrow corridor, all the doors were shut. The hall was darker than Jake’s room had been—the only light sneaking through the cracks at the bottom of each door.

I crept to the top of the stairs. They descended down from the hallway at a ninety degree angle. From this vantage point, the voices were much more audible as they bounced up the steps. I didn’t pay much mind to exactly what it was they were discussing because for the most part it was still gargled at this distance. Instead, I focused on the tone of their voices. They were familiar, again a feeling that resided in both my animal and human senses—something that tickled deep inside. I knew them in some way, and yet I could not give them a name or purpose, or even a face.

I knelt close to the ground, placing my hand on the top step and leaning forward so that my ear was better facing the direction of their voices. Slowly, I pulled my legs out from under me and allowed myself to sit on the top step, still hidden in the shadows. Leaning forward some more, I was just able to view a small part of the downstairs. I saw a kitchen toward the front. Along the wall, windows looked out onto the street, pouring in light I had so craved a moment ago. The entry was small and opened to another space I could not see, the space in which I assumed these people occupied.

So far I recognized Jake’s voice, mixed with that of another male that was particularity appealing.
Could it be him?
I heard a female’s voice then, and it made me jealous.
Why?
I wanted to see her face, I wanted to know what could invoke such a gut reaction for seemingly no known reason I could recollect. I daringly inched down another step, making sure to be quieter than I knew Jake’s sensitive ears could hear—based on how he’d already acted toward sound.

I dropped my head until I could peek through the rungs of the railing where I was just able to make out the back of two people’s heads as they sat on a red couch in the middle of the room. Frustrated that I couldn’t see their faces, I remained in this position, hoping they’d turn around. My back started to ache and my brow moistened with sweat.

“I don’t like the seriousness of this,” the girl mumbled, playing with her hands in her lap.

It was then that the boy beside her looked over his shoulder. I shot back before I took the time to take in his face, too afraid he’d see me sitting here in the shadows. No one spoke for a moment, and I bravely dropped my gaze again, wondering if this silence was because they had caught me—then I allowed myself to see his face. All of a sudden I was no longer concerned with whether they had caught me or not. I felt every inch of me shiver, the auburn-brown of his hair, the broad strength in his jaw, softened by the large, golden eyes that were not looking at me at all, but someplace below and beyond.

I wanted them to be looking at me.

He began to speak as he tore those beautiful eyes away from whatever it was he was looking at. “We need to make sure this is really happening. How can we prove that what Emily heard is really true?” He was facing Jake again, or what I assumed to be Jake as I couldn’t quite see him.

“We need to go to priory. They would be able to find out. They probably already know.” Jake’s voice assured me that he was indeed hidden from my view.

Who was this boy?
My mind already knew. My mind was screaming it to me, but I didn’t want to believe it had been this easy. It was
him
—the very him I was looking for, but why? Why did I feel my heart racing as it did now? It was as though every part of me wanted to run down these stairs and into his arms, if he’d allow me. I wanted to see him face to face, human to
human
?

Human . . .

Would he know me in this body? My soul was that of the animal, this I felt strongly for, so which side of me would he recognize? More importantly, however, what made me feel so frantic over him, so shaky and hot? Did my life depend on it?

I caught myself from falling as I’d leaned forward into the light. I had forgotten to be careful as I’d tried to get a better angle on his face, wanting to see it one more time. My hands were gripping the edge of the stairs, nails digging into the grey carpet as I took a relieved breath. I wasn’t ready for him to see me yet, not here, not like this. I carefully glanced one last time, then quickly pulled myself back into the shadows as I noticed all three of them stand. They hadn’t said another word, just a silent exchange I was not involved in. I heard them stepping in my direction so I quickly shot to my feet, tiptoeing back into the hallway where I stood against the wall and waited.

“Let’s go to the priory now. I don’t see the point in waiting another minute.” The boy I was interested in was the one talking—
Wes
, that’s what Jake had called him in the car.

“Right now?” Jake challenged, and I knew why. He was nervous about the fact that I was supposedly stashed away in his room. He was probably afraid to leave me alone, thinking I’d do something stupid as I’d already done.

“Yeah, right now. You can bring your guest if you like?”

“Er
. . . no. I’ll just let them know what’s up. They’re fine here.”

Wes.
I loved the sound of his name. I felt like I could roll myself in the beauty of it, the way it felt to hear. I wished I could feel the way it felt to say.

“Who’s your guest, anyway?” Wes asked.

I felt a leap of excitement. Jake would introduce me if Wes asked, wouldn’t he?

“No one. No one you need to meet right now at least. I’ll introduce you later. It’s just family.”

Family?
He was lying!

I heard more movement. Out of fear I gave up hearing anymore of the conversation and slid quietly back to Jake’s room before he came bounding up the stairs and caught me. I gently shut the door behind me and jumped onto the bed, trying to situate myself in a relaxed fashion, though my breathing was turbulent. I tried to calm it while I waited, and luckily, I waited longer than I thought I was going to have to. The wait left me wishing that I’d stuck around to spy a little longer.

A few minutes passed before I heard footsteps ascend the stairs. My heart rate, which had been calmed, began to pick up again. I could feel the vibration of his feet down the hall through the springs of the floor-bound mattress. They stopped outside as the door handle slowly twisted. I waited in anticipation, hoping it was someone other than Jake.

It wasn’t. That was empty hope.

He popped his head around the partially opened door. “Are you doing alright?”

I nodded, face expressionless and mind closed, hoping he wasn’t able to sense what I was hiding—that I’d heard their conversation and had seen his friends.

“Good.” He looked around his room as though inspecting his things, probably wondering what I’d tampered with. “I hate to do this, but I’ve got to run an errand. You’ll be alright here for a few hours, won’t you?”

I sat forward suddenly.
A few hours?
I thought openly.

Jake’s mouth made an expression not quite like a frown. “Sorry. Something more came up. When I get back I promise to introduce you to my friends.”

I shut my mind off again.

“Come on, give me a break. It’s not like I expected you to come waltzing into my life like this.”

I crossed my arms against my chest and nodded reluctantly. What he didn’t know was that I was going to follow him. I didn’t have to be human
all
the time. I needed to know more about Wes. I needed to know why I wanted to love him. I needed many things.

“So, you’ll be okay?”

I nodded in false agreement.

He narrowed his gaze. “Are you sure? Even if you look like honest Jane, something about you makes me not want to trust you.”

I tried to nod my head in a more enthusiastic, convincing manner. He was smart to doubt me, at least.

He pursed his lips sideways. “Okay. Well, then I’ll see you in a little bit.”

JANE:

We got up from the table at the outdoor café where Eliza left the waiter a small nugget of round gold on a plate.

“What’s that?” I asked curiously, stopping to pick it up and inspect it.

“It’s our currency.”

“You have currency here?” I was confused. Never in my dreams had I imagined needing money in the Ever After.

She nodded. “If you’re going to stay here you have to pay your way and work. Eventually you will have to, too, unless you choose to live a vagrant in the outskirts of the city like those we saw on the way in. They’ll eventually be forced out, though. If it were free then why not stay forever, right?”

I laughed. “You almost have.”

Eliza gave me a sassy smile. “I have a good job and therefore have no problem affording my stay. For me, it’s worth it to work.”

I placed the nugget back on the plate and we walked away from the table once more. Eliza led the way and I followed beside her. “What do you do here?”

Eliza shrugged, her hands in her dress pockets. She fumbled with unknown trinkets that clanked around inside. “You’ll see.”

Her answer only made me more curious. What sort of jobs could one per quire here? Did I need an education?

Eliza answered my thoughts. “No need for an education, Jane. You see, here you are what you were always meant to be. Everyone is born with a God given talent, so to speak. If you didn’t find that talent in your earthly life, then you’ll find it here. We all have a purpose just as sure and the moon and sun pixies do, whether they like it or not.” She eyed me speculatively. “From all I’ve learned about you, I think it best you search out a job in records at the library. You’re quite a wiz with history. That is . . .” she nudged me. “If you’re planning to stay.”

Staying was what I had planned to do, what other choice did I have? It was the work I hadn’t been planning on.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to do the work.” She shrugged.

“You think I should leave?” I entertained her comment to be sassy.

“It’s one way to get back,” she offered.

“I thought you told me that would make it hard for Max to find me?” I was confused by the way she’d answered my question—like she wanted me to go back.

“It will, but let’s just say it’s my job to press this alternative.” She pressed her chin up, looking proper and proud as though she’d fulfilled her duty.

What was her duty?
It was killing me.

We turned a corner and onto a new street. Here, the sun’s angle was obscured by the grey stone buildings on either side of us. I felt a chilly wind, but it passed quickly. I hadn’t found myself physically uncomfortable for more than a moment since being here. Things, for the most part, were pleasant in that respect. Even If I did have to work to earn my keep in the Ever After it still seemed better than the earthly life I’d lived, much as it did for Eliza. “What about Max? What if I were to come here with him but we didn’t move on? Would I still have to work and earn my keep?”

Eliza shook her head. “Why wouldn’t you want to move on? Once your soul is complete with its two halves, then you go down that road we were talking about before and on into another level of living, sort of like a true retirement. There you won’t have to work. There you will find the paradise you’ve imagined. You’d be stupid to stay here.”

I thought about the way my father used to describe Heaven to me. He’d made it sound amazing. At that young age, I’d imagined it to look something like the Candy Land game board—bright and happy. It was then that I finally remembered I’d forgotten about my father. “My father,” I whispered.

Eliza nodded. “Yes, what about him?”

“He’s here. I nearly forgot about him. I saw him when I first got here but I suppose I got so wrapped up in my grief over Max that I forgot about him. I can’t believe I’d forget about him.” I felt like a horrible daughter.

Eliza nodded again. “It happens, but you’ll never completely forget about him, it’ll just cycle through. Like now, I bet you’ve almost forgotten about Max or even what time it is, am I correct?”