Bonnie (28 page)

“You’re a little crazy, Gallo,” she muttered.

“So I’ve been told.”

“I can’t remember anyone ever wanting to just … hold me.”

“And considering the fact that you’re one totally desirable lady, you may never experience it again.”

She was silent a moment. “This is important to you, isn’t it?”

“It’s important.”

She shrugged. “I don’t understand it, but I guess it’s okay.”

“Even though you believe I’m a bit wacko.”

“People need different things at different times.”

“Close your eyes, Catherine.”

“They are closed.”

And he could feel the muscles of her body relaxing. “Forty-five minutes, Catherine.”

“You already said that.”

But she was quiet now, and his own body was still and no longer needing her. He could feel her strength but no disturbance. That was how it should be. That was how he knew instinctively that it had to be.

He could go on now.…

*   *   *

IT WAS HOT IN THE DARKNESS
and he could smell his own sweat.

He opened his eyes and saw the manacles fastened to the wall and the dirty straw on the stone floor.

His heart jerked in panic.

He knew this place, this cell. Prison. North Korea.

The pain.

“I’m sorry. It will go away. I’ve never tried to do this kind of dream, and I’m not very good at it. I brought you in at the wrong time.”

Bonnie. Red curls shining under the light flowing into the darkness from the barred window, wearing jeans and a Bugs Bunny T-shirt. Sitting beside him in the darkness. As she had visited him all those other times during the seven years he was in prison.

And the pain was suddenly gone.

She smiled. “I told you so. The stink of this place is bothering you. I can take that away, too.”

“I thought … Oh God, I thought I was out of here.”

“And you are. I’m sorry. It won’t be for long.” Her smile faded. “I didn’t want to bring you back here, but it was the only way that I could be sure of reaching you. It was the only strong familiar time we shared. I had to be sure that I was here with you quickly. But this is only a dream. That time is all over. It’s only a dream.”

He drew a deep breath as the panic almost faded. “Or was that other time a dream, and is this reality?”

She smiled. “I promise you.”

Peace. Love. Bonnie.

A dream, just a dream of that nightmare place, and even the nightmare was gradually being shaded with strands of light. He could almost hear the sound of the songs she used to sing to him in this hellhole. “I thought I’d killed you, Bonnie. It wasn’t true, was it?”

“No, I tried to tell you. But you wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t get through to you.” She smiled. “All you wanted to do was jump off that cliff.”

“And you wouldn’t let me.”

“No, that’s never the way. It messes up everything.” She leaned back against the wall and looked around the cell. She whispered, “This is a terrible place. When I found you here, it made me so sad. You were so brave and strong, and they were hurting you. I wanted so to help you. I wanted you to know you weren’t alone. I wanted you to believe that someone cared about you.”

He remembered the dreams of Bonnie that had kept away the pain and made him fight to live. “You did help me.”

A brilliant smile lit her face. “I’m glad. I thought I did.” The next moment, the smile had vanished. “I’m slipping away. I have to talk quickly.”

“Slipping away?”

“I’m usually pretty good at this dream stuff, but I’m having to divide up my concentration now. I can probably only hold on for another few minutes.”

“Then why did you come?”

“I had to tell you something.” She added gently, “And you’re hurting. I had to let you know that I’ll try to help you.”

“Eve. Forget about me. Can you help Eve?”

“I’m trying to get near her. That’s why I had to use a dream to reach you. I have to use most of my effort trying to reach her. He keeps pushing me away. He’s so strong right now.”

Fear iced through him. “Will he hurt her?”

“I hope not,” she said soberly.

“Dammit, don’t you know?”

“I keep seeing Mama, then in his hand a knife.”

Gallo muttered a curse.

“That’s why I had to come to you now,” she said quietly. “I think he’ll use the knife. I think the decision to use it is what’s giving him his strength.”

“But you’re not certain.”

“And you don’t want to believe he’d do it. Neither do I. I’m scared for Mama. But Ted Danner’s not always the same. He changes. I think she’s safe now, but I don’t know for how long. When you get to Mama, you have to believe you may not be able to talk to him.” She paused. “You have to believe he’ll do it. In your heart and in your head.”

He could feel the tears sting his eyes. “Sometimes I have trouble with both. It’s … hard, Bonnie.” He tried to smile. “Hell, you’re a ghost. Isn’t there some great master plan that you can tap into and help keep her safe?”

“Oh, yes, there’s a plan. And sometimes I get glimpses of it. Sometimes I can help, and that’s wonderful.” She smiled radiantly. “But I’m only learning now. It’s not in my hands. There are so many things I don’t know yet. But I think that there are different ways that the plan can end if the soul has not crossed over. It’s possible we can change it. That’s why you have to help. You have to get to Mama. You have to help her. And I’ll help her, too.…”

She was gone.

He felt a wrenching regret and a piercing loneliness. And then the darkness of the prison and the memories it contained were gone, too.

Swirling. Vanishing.

“Gallo!”

He opened his eyes.

Catherine was looking up at him with a frown. “Your heart was going triple time. I shook you, but you didn’t stir.” She sat back on her heels. “Are you okay?”

He nodded and straightened. “I must have drifted off.”

“It was more like a tidal wave than any gentle drifting. Nightmare?”

“Sort of.” He stood up and reached down and pulled her to her feet. “It’s over now.”

“What’s over?”

The return to that ugliness of the past that had been transformed into salvation by the visits of one small girl. He wasn’t about to explain what had transpired to Catherine. She was having enough problems coming to terms with the stories and beliefs about Bonnie that were coming at her from all sides. “We have to get going.”

“I’m not arguing. But aren’t you being a bit erratic? It’s not as if you’ve been slacking. It’s been less than fifteen minutes.”

He’d thought it had been much longer. Or as if time itself had stopped.

I keep seeing Mama, then a knife in his hand.

He felt the same panic he had when Bonnie had first said those words.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m a little erratic. Live with it.” He strode into the brush. “We’ve got to get moving.”

A knife in his hand …

*   *   *

“HOW MUCH FARTHER?” EVE
asked as she glanced behind her. “Are you ready to tell me where we’re—”

The metal of his knife was gleaming in Danner’s hand.

Eve stopped short, her breath catching in her throat. She watched him touch the edge of the blade with an almost caressing forefinger. He was looking down at the knife in total fascination, then his thumb was stroking the hilt as if it were alive. “Danner?”

He lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were clouded, and she wasn’t sure that he recognized her.

This was not good.

What Father Barnabas had said about Danner shifting from sanity to madness in the space of a moment flew back to her. This could well be one of those moments. She had to be extremely wary.

“Why do you have the knife out?” She moistened her lips. “Do you need to cut this brush? It doesn’t seem any worse than—” He wasn’t listening to her. She had to break through the dark fog that seemed to surround him. It had caught her off guard. He had been silent for the last few hours, but he hadn’t said much since their journey had begun. She’d had no idea that such danger had been brewing. She had been focused on just getting to their destination, getting to Bonnie.

And she would never find Bonnie if she couldn’t control the actions of this man who seemed to teeter back and forth on a lethal tightrope.

Think.

If she ran, then he’d be after her in a heartbeat.

Danner had Ranger training. She had been taught to defend herself, but she was not Catherine and did not have her skills.

Okay, then it had to be verbal attack.

“You don’t want to cut brush with that knife,” she said quietly. “You want to use it on me. Why, Danner? I’ve done what I promised. I thought you wanted to take me to Bonnie. Why give it up now?”

“The demons,” he whispered. “They’re trying to get to me. I can feel them push and pull at me. But I won’t let them do it.”

Demons. Use the demons that obsessed him to control him. “That’s right, keep them away. But you’re not thinking straight. You said you wanted to give me to Bonnie. What good would it do to kill me now? You had a reason to take me to Bonnie, or you would have killed me when we were with Father Barnabas back at the church.” She wasn’t getting through to him. Try another path. “Or do you think I’m a demon too, Danner?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t … think so. The little girl didn’t think you were a demon. She wanted you.” He was frowning. “But sometimes the demons take over, and I can’t tell the difference until they’re ready to pounce. They don’t always look like demons.”

“I’m not a demon.” She turned and moved slowly back toward where he stood. Not too fast. No threat. She could already see him tensing. She stopped before him. “As you said, Bonnie doesn’t think I’m a demon.”

“But maybe she’s one now, too,” he whispered. “Maybe they caught her when I wasn’t around to keep them away.” His eyes were suddenly glittering with tears. “I hope they didn’t. God, I hope they didn’t. I have to stop them. I have to stop all of you.”

His hand was tightening on the knife. Eve could see the muscles of his body tightening, readying to spring forward toward her.

She instinctively braced herself. No, stop it before she had to defend herself. “Bonnie isn’t a demon either. I’d know it if she had changed.” She stared him in the eye. “Remember, you said you saw us together and you could see how much we loved each other. Do demons love? I don’t think so.”

“No, hate,” he said hoarsely. “Only hate.”

“Then you wouldn’t have chosen to take me to her if you hadn’t been sure that she had love for me. Isn’t that right?”

“Maybe. I’m confused right now.”

But his hand had never loosened on the knife.

“That’s because the demons want you to be confused. They don’t want you to take me to Bonnie. They know that if I’m with her, I’ll protect her, that I’ll never let them have her.” She took a step closer so that she was only inches from him. “I’d keep all the forces of darkness away from my Bonnie. There isn’t an angel or demon who could stop me from doing that. Look at me, Danner. You’ll see it.” She reached down and lifted his hand grasping the knife until the blade was pressing against her throat. She held his gaze with all the passion and strength of will that was her love for Bonnie. “See it,” she repeated fiercely. “And if you don’t, then use that knife that’s at my throat.”

It was a gamble. His hand was shaking, and she could feel the blade prick her skin.

Believe me, she willed the thought with every bit of her mind and soul. I have to bring my Bonnie home. It can’t end like this.

His eyes were flickering, shifting, changing.

Help me, Bonnie. Help me, baby.

He stepped back, and the hand with the knife fell to his side.

Eve let out the breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

The moment of danger had passed … for now.

Had she convinced him? Or had Danner’s madness, which always seemed to be hovering in the shadows, just retreated?

Or had Eve been given the help for which she’d prayed?

It didn’t matter. Danner’s eyes were clear, his expression as close to normal as she’d experienced since he’d taken her. She moistened her lips again. “You do believe me. That’s good. I’m glad that you’ve gotten over that particular misconception. I don’t usually have to defend myself against the charge of being a demon, and I have to really reach to do it.”

He was gazing at her in bewilderment. “You’re joking with me.”

“Purely involuntary. I admit to being a little shaken, and that’s how I generally handle it.”

“You’re frightened,” he said slowly.

“You caught me off guard. A knife usually has that effect on me.”

He was staring at her with an expression that had an odd element of regret. “I do have to kill you. I can’t do anything else. You didn’t seem afraid before. I was … surprised.”

“Get over it. As I said, you caught me off guard. This time self-preservation kicked in.” Her lips tightened. “You’re worrying that I’ll break my word about making it easy for you? You’re wondering if it’s worth it to you to wait and take me to where you want to … do it.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t lie to you. I’m not afraid to die. Sometimes there seems to be more waiting for me there than here. But that’s only sometimes. Self-preservation, Danner. If I can live, I’ll do it. But you won’t have to worry about my being difficult for you until after you’ve taken me to where I can find my daughter.” She met his eyes. “I’m not as sure as you are that she wants what you want. I’ll have to see.”

He didn’t speak for a moment. “You’re … honest. I knew that from the moment I met you when you were just a kid. You were pregnant and alone, and you were still fighting and telling the world to get out of your way.”