Bold Beauty (12 page)

Kids were laughing hard as they poured out of Pat's classroom into the crowded hall.

I hung back with Barker. “Barker, what are we going to do? The debate is tomorrow. And M talks less than I do!”

Barker beamed as if we'd just been given our ace. “You never know, Winnie.”

Pat had Barker, Sal, M, and me meet after school for debate practice, which consisted of her trying to explain the rules. Each of us had to give a one-to-two-minute opening argument. Then we had to know enough to rebut the opposing team's arguments.

Barker promised to compile a list of facts for us to use in the debate since we only had 24 hours to prepare. Sal painted her fingernails during the whole practice. I said three words, and M none. I felt like hurling.

I stopped by the pet shop and answered the Pet Help Line. Hawk's name didn't show in my in-box, and my disappointment surprised me. In school Hawk hung out with the popular kids, and she and I could go a whole day on a couple of hi's. But on e-mail, one day without hearing from her seemed weird.

Just as I finished my last e-mail, advising “Frustrated” to slow down training his horse and focus on one skill at a time, Pat hurried by the computer.

She stopped, then backed up even with me. “How's that hunter coming along?”

“Great, Pat!” I answered, choking on the lie, relieved when she walked away.

Catman followed me home. Our bikes made the cool breeze colder. By the time we reached home, I was glad I'd worn my flannel shirt.

Catman joined Dad at the rocker. I went straight to the pasture to lunge Bold Beauty. Riderless, she sailed over the pole jumps with no problem. I kept telling myself I'd get the debate over with. Then I could really focus on Beauty. I'd be over that high jump with no sweat.

I was leading Beauty back in when I heard a car pull up and two doors slam. Seconds later Richard and Summer walked out to the paddock. Summer still wore the long red sweater she'd worn at school. She looked as out of place as an American Saddle Horse at a Clydesdale convention.

“Can I help you?” I asked, as if they were customers.

“Good! We're in time,” Richard announced.

“Time for what?” I led Beauty past them into the barn.

Richard followed me. “Time to watch you jump. I promised the Howards a firsthand report before they come see for themselves.”

“Maybe next week, Richard.” I hooked Beauty in the cross-ties and starting brushing her.

“Next week?” Richard frowned at his sister, then at me. “Next week's too late. The Howards flew in this morning. They want to see their horse jump tomorrow. Didn't Summer tell you?”

Summer shrugged. “Oops! Didn't I tell you the Howards were coming back early, Winnie? Honeymoon hurricanes in the Caribbean. I had Richard tell them to meet us here tomorrow afternoon, since I—
we
—have that debate tomorrow night.”

My hands trembled. I slid my arm around Beauty's neck. Trusting, she turned to me, her fate in my hands.

“We really need to see her high jump.” Richard sounded impatient. “You're using that hedge out there, right?”

“Right.” My voice sounded hoarse.

Catman strolled into the barn and walked up to Beauty. He straightened her forelock. I knew he'd heard everything.

Richard glanced at his watch. “I need to call Jeffrey Howard pretty soon.”

I unhooked Beauty from the cross-ties. “Guess I better saddle up then.”

Richard and Summer headed back out to the paddock.

Catman helped me saddle Bold Beauty in silence. He handed me the girth under her belly, put the reins over her neck, held her while I mounted.

The mental photo of my fall flashed through my head
. Go away! I'm Winnie the Horse Gentler! I can do this!

I trotted Beauty in a loose circle around the jumps. Sensing her rhythm, I posted, bobbing up and down in the saddle, moving to a rising trot like Adrianna had. I relaxed as Beauty shifted into a canter, her long legs reaching out, eager to jump.

I guided her to the ground poles that started my jumping course. Stride . . . stride . . . stride . . . jump. No problem. Next came the crossed poles, the low jumps. We sailed over with perfect clearance.

Why had I put this off so long? Beauty and I were born to jump!

I glanced back at Richard and Summer and saw Dad and Lizzy leaning over the fence with Catman.

“The
high
jump, Winnie!” Summer yelled.

Watch this, Summer!
I took Beauty around to repeat the course. But this time I rested the reins on her neck, while I stretched my arms out from my sides like airplane wings. Mom had taught me to jump without hands to make sure I'd grip with my legs. Beauty took the low jumps, and I sat tight, my arms still out.

“Yea, Winnie!” Lizzy yelled.

I looped again, making a figure eight, taking the parallel mid-jumps at the diagonal crosses without a flaw.

Lizzy cheered.

“Could you speed it up, Winnie?” Richard shouted.

I knew what he was waiting for. Lizzy might have been impressed, but Richard and Summer knew better. They'd come to see the high jump. Nothing else mattered.

The hedge made up the last jump in the course, rising from the top of my imaginary figure eight. I couldn't put it off any longer.

Beauty sensed what was coming as I started the course over. We took the low jumps, picked up speed in the middle, and galloped for the hedge.

Throw your heart over the fence, and your horse will follow.
I said it over and over in my mind. The hedge grew taller with every stride as we drew closer. Four more strides. Three. Tighten stride.

Or should she lengthen stride? I didn't know. I wasn't sure. And Beauty could feel it. She slowed, then sped up. She'd never make it over.

At the last second, I pulled hard to the left, jerking her away from the hedge. She tossed her head and obeyed, still in a canter, circling away, the hedge behind us now.

I'd
refused the jump. Not her. She hadn't balked or stalled. I'd pulled out of the jump. I swallowed the lump in my throat as we trotted up to the barn.

Lizzy balanced herself on the top rung of fence. “That was so tight, Winnie! Aren't you going to jump the hedge?” she asked in pure innocence, as if I'd forgotten one jump by mistake.

Summer let out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, Winnie. Aren't you going to jump the hedge?”

I didn't answer. I kept my head down as I led Beauty past Dad and into the barn.

Richard trailed after me, with Summer at his side. “That's what we needed to see. Thanks, Winnie.”

I snapped Beauty into the cross-ties. I couldn't look her in the eyes.

Lizzy, Dad, and Catman walked up. Lizzy still looked puzzled. “Why didn't Winnie jump the hedge?”

Catman whispered something to her, and her expression changed. She shot me a look of pure pity, which hurt worse than anything she could have said.

I glared at Catman, knowing he'd told her I'd chickened out.

“We'll see you in the house, Winnie,” Dad said, herding Lizzy and Catman out of the barn.

I kept brushing Beauty, trying not to think about what I'd done. What I'd
not
done. I thought Spidells had left until I heard Richard's voice outside the barn.

“Glad I caught you! I'm at the Willis place.” He was talking on the cell phone. “No, Winnie hasn't had any more luck with this horse than we did.” He chuckled. “She's a good kid all right. And very talented too, when it comes to ordinary horses. . . . Wait 'til you see the hunter I've found for you. More money, but can he jump!”

He paused. My ears buzzed. I couldn't breathe.

Richard chuckled. “Your wife will come around. Tell her not to worry about the mare. I've made some calls to a camp in Columbus. . . . I agree. Poor Winnie did her best, but she couldn't handle the high jump. . . . Sure! Tomorrow afternoon, right here. I'll bring the trailer. Glad I could help.”

Summer honked, and I listened to the gravel crunch as Richard ran to his car.

I hung out in the barn, saddle-soaping tack, scrubbing the soft soap into saddles and bridles until they foamed clean and shiny. Anything so I didn't have to talk to humans.

It was dark when Lizzy came looking for me. “You okay?”

“I'm fine!” I insisted, pushing past her and outside, where stars winked at each other.

“It's okay to lose your confidence, Winnie. Everybody—”

I wheeled on her. “Who said I lost my con- fidence? Catman? Well, I didn't!” I stormed toward the house. Lucky for Catman, I didn't see him anywhere.

Lizzy dogged me. “You should have told Dad and me!”

“There's nothing to tell!” I screamed, making it to the front steps.

“Winnie?” Dad shouted from the shed.

I pretended not to hear.

I ran to the bedroom, slammed the door, kicked off my boots, slipped into my pj's, and dove into bed. I hadn't lost my confidence! That was ridiculous.

A long time later I heard Lizzy come in. I pretended to be asleep as she got ready for bed and clicked on her reading light.