Blue at Midnight (5 page)

“The
assignment!
I need to
collect mine. I completely forgot! That’s what I was going to do until I bumped
into that cow!”

“Chill, we’ll go
up there now plus I need to return some overdue books to the library. Hopefully
they won’t notice,” smiled a cunning Sonia.
 

 
That afternoon, I walked to the main office
hoping I had received a decent mark as it would be the good news I desperately
needed. Even if my social life wasn’t the best right now it would be great to
know that my studies hadn’t been affected. Whilst I was out of college, I
hadn’t received any letters in the post regarding a retake otherwise I’m sure
Chidlow would have mentioned it earlier. Impatiently, I pushed through the
double glass doors opening up to a navy carpeted corridor with rows of floral
artwork on both sides. At the end of the corridor were some automatic doors
which opened up to the back of the brightly lit, marble floored foyer. This
wide space housed the main office which was in the centre, with a grey
horseshoe-shaped table encasing two metal cabinets and the receptionists, Linda
and Macy.

With a warm
smile they greeted everyone, never forgetting to remind visitors of the fire
exits, toilets, canteen and closing hours. Linda reminded me of my French
teacher at school, five feet six inches tall, elegantly dressed, polite and as
patient as a saint. Whereas Macy was more like a crazy aunty who’d always ask
if your studies and love life were OK.
 
Listening to these two was like listening to your mum and her friends on
a Sunday afternoon with a cup of tea and ginger biscuits.

“Hello dear,”
greeted Macy.

“We were
wondering where you’d gone,” smiled Linda.

“I know… You’ve
found yourself a boyfriend haven’t you?” Macy winked with a grin. I laughed at
the thought of it. They hadn’t heard the rumours and I was glad!

“I’m afraid
there’s no boyfriend. I’ve just had a lot going on, but I’m back now,” I
smiled.

“You’ve come to
co...” Linda was about to finish her sentence when her eyes suddenly drifted
over my right shoulder, with her jaw dropping to the floor. As soon as I went
to turn my head, a box with the words ‘Fragile’ stamped across it had been
literally shoved in my face onto the desk.
 

“Sorry ladies,
I’ve been asked to deliver this.” Shockingly, this familiar voice kept on
charming Linda and Macy without a care in the world. How rude! I thought. My
temperature was rapidly reaching boiling point as I stood there staring hard at
this dark haired, leather-jacket-wearing stranger. His confident way with the
ladies was not going to work on me, so I stared rather rudely. Oh my goodness.
This was the guy who dragged me out of that fight with Jenny! Look at him,
continuing like nothing happened. First he interfered with one of my personal
matters and then he interrupts my conversation. If looks could kill he would
have been packed in the box he was delivering.

“Just before you
leave young man, would you like to give us your name? For our records,” asked
Macy.

“Sure darling,
Christian Reedman,” he responded, holding back the old habit of saying his real
name.

Macy gently took
the parcel as he turned towards me, staring with his ocean-blue eyes. At that
moment every frustrated idea just stopped, froze. I felt numb. His face, the
way he stood and that expression. It was ever so familiar...

Chapter
11

Cale had been working on the Room of Rituals for almost a day, without
the help of Christian. He knew something odd was going on with Christian as he
had never seen him so distant when they had been working together. He’d barely
engaged in any conversation. It wasn’t natural for their kind to be so
distracted from their duties. The Rourkes were taught to stay focused, not to
get distracted like Echra, who was banished underwater forever for loving the
sun too much. It was during her resurrection in the sea that she was reborn as
Morbidma.
 

However, if this
had never happened the Children of Orsa would never have been born. It was
Echra’s choices that they learnt from, inscribed in the Book of Orsa by the
elders. This ancient text has always guided them, referring to all the
teachings by number. What Cale didn’t understand was why Christian would take
such a risk in being so obvious about his unnatural state of mind. He was
rebelling. Cale knew this was why he wasn’t with him right now following
through Sebastian’s orders. Christian was Sebastian’s favourite, the best
soldier of Orsa he’d say, yet it was ironic that he seemed to be on the path
against Orsa. The thought of the consequences almost sickened Cale and he knew
that he must find him to make things right.
 

Night time was
the least likely time to be seen by an elder therefore he decided to search for
him then.

During the night the elders became one with Orsa and channelled their
minds with the leadership of Morbidma. As one, they were able to communicate to
Orsa who showed them how their world began from the life of Echra till
now.
 

As Orsa had
developed over thousands of years the elders spent half of their lifetime
receiving the memories of Morbidma who alone had access to the history of the
world. When they eventually reach the present day’s events they will become
enlightened and be able to channel the powers of Orsa and start to see events
of the future. Only one had reached the level of enlightenment and was known as
the mother of the ocean, Morbidma. Morbidma had reached the level of eternal
life and lived through the ocean as the owner of souls. Even though she
procured such knowledge it was forbidden to give any opinions or interfere with
the events to come. In a trance she dwelled beyond the abyss, surrounded by
beautifully coloured, almost transparent, mysterious creatures who obeyed her
every command. Seeing such creatures was a sign that Morbidma was close by.

Just as I was about to leave the main office I felt a hand on my
shoulder. The thought of it being Christian brought my heart to a halt. In slow
motion I turned to my right, only to see a slim woman wearing a grey pencil
skirt with a white blouse, ruby-red lipstick which was striking against her
pale complexion and blonde hair. Even though I should have been relieved, I
felt on edge as this was the last person I wanted to speak to: Claire the
college mentor. The irony of it all was that I actually wanted to become a
psychologist one day yet dreaded the idea of people seeing me as they saw
Claire. This made me doubt my decision at times but now I had chosen this path
I was determined to stay on it.

“Isabelle,
good to see you.
How are you today?” she asked. I couldn’t believe she said ‘today’. What did
that even mean? That I was a wreck every other day? Taking a deep breath I
smiled and nodded whilst quickly glancing around me to see if anyone was paying
attention to the fact that the girl who was being rumoured as a ‘crazy person’
was now speaking to the college mentor. I had to think about how I responded to
Claire carefully, as she would use my body language and tone of voice to make
her judgements rather than what I said. I knew this because I was used to doing
this myself at home with my family.

Click, click,
click
.
“Isabelle, hello.
Are you
still here?” I didn’t even realise that I’d fallen into my own thought trail
until I saw Claire clicking her fingers at me. Great! This was exactly what I
needed, I thought, annoyed at myself.

“Come on
Isabelle. Let’s get a drink from the canteen,” she said calmly as she guided me
back towards it. The dread must have shown clearly on my face as just then I
locked eyes with Christian who was leaning against the notice board in the
foyer with an amused grin. Why was he looking so smug? Had he been watching me
the whole time? Anyway, forget about him. I need to make an excuse and avoid
having a ‘chat’ with her in the canteen. Make an excuse, make an excuse. These
words kept on replaying in my mind, getting louder and louder the closer we got
to the canteen. Everyone’s going to see you with her and it will look like I’ve
asked for some help, the help Jenny had been telling everyone I needed. Just
tell her you don’t want to talk, screamed the voice inside my head but every
time I opened my mouth nothing came out.
 
I could just feel a lump in my throat.

“How are things
at home?” smiled Claire. That facial expression had been frozen for a good ten
minutes now.

“Things are
fine,” I told her, whilst facing the opposite direction. Not telling the truth
was something I had always been rubbish at as I had an awful habit of grinning
awkwardly when I was nervous and lying made me nervous!

“You mean
better?” questioned Claire.

“What do you
mean by better?” I snapped back.

“Well I know
you’ve been having a difficult time lately and…”

“Everyone’s been
as supportive as possible and I feel fine,” I interrupted. I’d purposely
stopped before the double doors that opened up to the corridor which led
towards the canteen.
 

“If I can just
have some space, I’ll be able to figure things out by myself which is what I
need right now,” I explained as I glared assertively into her bright eyes.
 
Claire then paused and took a step back,
quite surprised by my response.

“I’m taking
things day by day and it’s working for me.” Keeping eye contact was much easier
now as I was actually telling the truth.

As I had already
faced Jenny I felt that for today the worst was over. However, I couldn’t stop
wondering where I’d seen Christian before and why he’d interfered with my
affairs. I’m a stranger to him. Why would he care if I got excluded or not? He
barely acknowledged me at the office, only to grin at me later? What was he up
to? Realising I’d fallen into my own thoughts again I quickly snapped out of it
only to see that Claire had been speaking to me all that time.

“Also we’ll
start discussing how you feel step by step,” she finished.

“OK but not
right now. I will let you know when I’m ready.” What it was that I was supposed
to be ready for, I had no idea.

“Promise me you
will come to me if you have any problems.” I have lots of problems I thought
but that didn’t mean I had to go to someone to solve them.

“I promise I will
speak to you when I need to,” I smiled.

Jenny and my dad
were all on the same side (against me). I had to take time out to gather my
thoughts and find a solution. If I needed to speak to someone I would speak to
Sonia as she was the only one who seemed to believe that I had actually got
caught up in an accident. At one point I was enjoying the cool ocean breeze and
the feel of the water on my feet and the next thing I was drowning in the sea.

Chapter
12

When I arrived home I was surprised to see Naomi there as she was
usually at her boyfriend’s. Lately her and my dad had been getting along well,
probably because they both thought it was their duty to keep an eye on me so
that I didn’t do anything stupid. I knew there was no point in trying to speak to
them as they had shown their true colours when I was in hospital.
 
The only thing I could do was avoid them but
having them sitting there in the living room asking me to join them didn’t
help.
 

Carrot cake was
my favourite and my sister was slicing it when I walked in. If I turned down
their offer they would know something was wrong.

Naomi looked
tired. I could tell she’d just got back from work as she was still in her work
attire. My dad seemed happier than usual. The image seemed quite surreal. Next
I expected my mum to waltz in like she used to, full of happiness and laughter.
That’s when it dawned on me. She wasn’t ever coming through that door or any
other door again. I sat there sipping my tea, hoping to wash down that horrible
feeling of loss.

“How was your
day?” Naomi asked.

“Fine,” I
coughed. “Bumped into Jenny Summers,” I blurted out, whilst glaring at my dad
who I knew had spoken to Jenny’s dad. I knew the both of them had come up with
the assumption that I had attempted suicide.

“What did she say?”

 
“Oh the usual.
That I
have a mental problem and I’m crazy.” Anger was starting to fuel inside me from
the sense of betrayal. My own family had believed an outsider over me. I knew
they expected me to be ashamed of my actions and admit that I tried to end my
life.

The silence was
bitter. No one had spoken after my comment.

“She’s got
nothing better to do
I
suppose,” chuckled Naomi.

“Yeah, you know
what teenagers can be like,” interjected my dad after a deep sigh.

“Well I’ve made
you an appointment with Dr Mathews,” informed my dad.

“Who’s Dr
Mathews?” I asked.

“He’s a
psychologist. He’s very well known, I
kn
...”

“Wait, who said
I need to see a psychologist?” I interrupted angrily. “And who told you to make
me an appointment?”

“Izzie!” snapped
Naomi.

“I don’t care.
I’ve had enough and you can stuff your cake!” Tempted to throw it across the
room, I slammed the cake on the table and stormed upstairs, locking myself in
my bedroom.

“Your
appointment is Saturday at 11a.m.,” shouted my dad, from the bottom of the
stairs, completely oblivious to my response.

All I could do
right now was
ignore
him. However, I couldn’t shake
off the feverish rage rising within me, dying to burst out. As still as a
lifeless body I sat there on my bed. My skin was like the hard shell of a bomb,
holding everything in. Fiercely, my mind re-enacted the idea of trashing
everything in my room. I could never push myself to do this physically as all
the things I’d be destroying were my own so I would only be hurting myself,
which I didn’t deserve. Plus money was tight and the last thing I needed to do
was to destroy my own belongings.
 

Suddenly, I
heard the front door shut and I ran to the window hoping both of them had gone
out. Disappointingly, it was just my sister leaving in her boyfriend’s four by
four. Even though she’d sat there quietly I knew that was why she had been at
the house in the first place. They had decided to refer me to a psychologist
together. If she disagreed she would have defended me but she just sat there
with a sympathetic expression on her face, which then changed to frustration
when I confronted them. I checked my phone for a text message from her as she
was always the first one to text me after an argument. After a ridiculous
excuse, she’d usually remind me of what I was allowed and not allowed to do
whilst living under my dad’s roof. Luckily, she’d moved out with her boyfriend
two years ago and was able to afford a place of her own. This left me stuck
here, working part-time and going to college with the hope of having enough
money to leave one day. Without my mother, who was brilliant at mellowing
everything out, I felt that my only choice was to avoid making conversation. This
was easier now that I knew that he was against me.