Blood-Red Tear (22 page)

“Katie, your father
has loved you as his own child from the day they rescued you. You are his life; he would do anything for you. Forgive him for wanting the best for you.” I did not answer, and he put his hand under my chin, lifting it so I was staring into his eyes.

“I will be back. Take this time to understand
what you will be committing to. Once you make the decision to be with me, I will never be able to let you go. I have been selfish, using your injuries as an excuse to stay. Now I must give you up for awhile, but know that never a moment will pass that I won’t think of you and wish we could be together.” His lips brushed mine softly, as if he was afraid to hurt me, and I pulled him closer, kissing him the way I wanted to be kissed.

H
e pulled back, shocked by the intensity of my kiss. “Please, for me, stay out of trouble,” he said, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. He stared deeply into my eyes, capturing me with his powerful gaze. “Go out with your friends: Have fun, date, and live,” he commanded.

Inwardly
, I screamed as I felt his compulsion seeping into my mind, but physically I remained silent, unable to break away from his hold.

“Goodbye
, my Amado Uno.” He kissed my cheek then walked out, and I was left alone. Angry, confused, and dazed by the events that had just unfolded before me.

D
espite the deep sadness I felt at his leaving, though, I did not cry. In fact, I just sat in my room, wondering how I was going to fill the empty hole in my heart Aidan’s leaving had left. Sure, he had compelled me to date, but he hadn’t compelled me to forget about him, something I wasn’t sure he could do, even if he tried. My heart just wouldn’t allow it.

Chapter Eighteen

A
fter Aidan’s leaving, I sat in my room, inconsolable and angry with the world. My mother brought meals, always looking hopeful I might try a bite, but I refused to eat. Paul and Beth came to visit me often, and I listened to them talk but did not bother to respond.

Almost a week
passed before my father finally made an appearance, his haggard appearance a sign he, too, had been affected by our argument. “You need to eat,” he admonished. I ignored him, but he went on. “You can be mad at me. Blame me for making Aidan leave. I can live with that, but you have to take care of yourself. He would want that.”

I couldn’t
look at him. I loved him, and I could not trust myself not to say the hateful things I was thinking. Things I would never be able to take back once given voice to. He made Aidan leave. He was the reason I was so miserable, and I refused to acknowledge him.

“I’ll check in with you later,” h
e said tiredly, leaving the room with his head down and his shoulders slumped.

Th
e only highlights of my days were Jess’s visits. She came every afternoon, sometimes with Josh, sometimes without, but always I was glad to see her. We would watch movies, and she would help me catch up on the work I was missing in class while filling me in on the gossip I was missing at school. Often Chris too would join us, and lighten my mood, but I couldn’t talk to either of them about Aidan, and it was silently eating me up inside.

   The weeks of my recovery passed slow
ly. More often than not, I thought about Aidan and what he was doing. With every waking second that passed without him, my anger at my father grew and the loss I felt became harder to deal with. I went through my days like a zombie, eating enough to survive and paying just enough attention to what was going on around me that no one complained, but the light had gone out of my life. I simply existed, waiting for the time I could be reunited with the one I loved once again.

*****

   After weeks of being homebound, the doctor finally deemed me ready to go back to school. The first morning was rough. I had not sleep well the night before and had to take a pain pill because my leg was hurting, so I woke up late. Getting dressed with a thigh-high leg cast was a nightmare, even with Beth and my mother’s help, and I found myself drained before I even left my room. My brother was running around like a chicken with its head cut off making sure security was in place for my first day back at school, making everyone antsy. And I had yet to speak to my father, which made breakfast an extremely uncomfortable affair.

I entered the dining room on crutches and moved
awkwardly toward the table. My father sat in his usual place, paper in hand, cup of coffee before him, watching me approach sadly. I hated that look, and the rift between us ate at my heart as much as Aidan’s absence, but I was determined to make him see he had been wrong to send him away. I knew my father snuck into my room at night just to see me. I felt his strong presence at my side and his upset every time he was near, but I wasn’t ready to forgive him so I acted as if I was asleep.

To end both of our suffering
, I pushed my plate away after a few bites and with a lot of effort pushed myself to my feet. As if on cue, Beth grabbed my bag and crutches as Paul lifted me into his arms and carried me outside, where my mother’s car was waiting. It was easier to get me in and out of her BMW so he had decided to take it over his truck, for which I was grateful. I couldn’t imagine how trying it would be everyday to get in and out of that behemoth. He sat me in the seat and pulled the seatbelt around me before closing the door. Beth slid into the back seat, and he got in to the driver’s side, started the engine, and began to pull away. It was then I noticed a large black SUV behind us and looked at Paul, but he ignored my questioning gaze and drove away, followed by what I was confident were Aidan’s protectors.

   Once we got to school, it became clear it was going to be diff
icult to get around on crutches. I was tired just getting from the car to the front door of the school, so Paul scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way to my locker. Jess, Josh, Chad, and Chris were there waiting to welcome me back, which brought tears to my eyes.

   “I’m so glad you
are back,” Jess gushed, hugging me awkwardly due to the crutches in the way.

   “Yeah
, and we want to help you, so do not be too stubborn to ask,” Chris threw in, adding a hug of his own.

    Chad watched with sorrowful eyes but said nothing
, and I knew he was still feeling guilty for something he had no control over.

“Hi Chad
, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m
good; it’s you I’m worried about.” He looked at the crutches with a sad smile.

“Chad
, it was an accident. I don’t blame you, and you need to stop blaming yourself,” I told him.

“Really?” he asked
, looking hopeful.

“Really,” I said with a smile.

“We need to go or we’ll be late,” Paul said beside me.

As I
started down the hall on the crutches, I could tell I was going to make everyone late for class, so I prodded them to go on without me. “Why don’t you all go ahead; I’ll meet you there?”

   “Nonsense
,” Chad said, scooping me up in his arms. Josh grabbed the crutches from my hands, and I smiled thankfully at him.

“Ch
ad, this is really not necessary,” I assured him.

“No problem
, you don’t weigh anything,” he told me, moving swiftly toward my first class.

The r
est of the day Chad insisted on carrying me to each class, despite my assurances I could walk on the crutches. It was a sweet and endearing gesture, but it worried me he was staking a claim on me, whether intentional or not, before the rest of the school. At the end of the day, I realized my fears were grounded.

Chad
carried me out to the car and crouched down next to me as I finished buckling the seatbelt. He took my hand in his. “Do you think maybe I could come and visit you at home sometime?”

I wanted to tell him then and there that we were just friends
, so he would understand how I was feeling and wouldn’t be hurt, but the words wouldn’t come.

“You are free to come by whenever you want,” P
aul said, before I could formulate an answer.

“I will
take you up on that,” Chad told him with a wide grin. “I’ll call you later,” he told me, letting go of my hand and shutting the door.

“Really
, Paul?” I asked as he started the car.

“What?” he said with a shrug.

“Forget it,” I grumbled. I didn’t feel like arguing. I was tired and in far too much pain to engage with my brother, so I laid my head back in the seat and closed my eyes instead.

*****

I fell asleep that night with Aidan on my mind and dreamed we were sitting in the gazebo together, talking of all the things going on in my life since he had left.  He smiled and told me how happy he was that I was once again back with my friends, before leaning in to kiss me. The coolness of his lips as they first touched mine created a tingle through my body that had nothing to do with the cold and everything with the male who held me in his arms. The kiss deepened, as did my desire for him, but as always he pulled back before things went too far. With a soft sigh, he smiled and reached up to pull a pink rose from the vine that hung from the gazebo, then tucked it behind my ear. “I miss you, Amado Uno,” he whispered as the image began to fade from my mind.

I woke up and smiled happily
, turning on my pillow, when something pricked the side of my head, causing me to cry out. I moved my fingers through my hair, and they came away with a delicate pink rose between them, which looked like the one from my dream. I touched my finger to my lips, surprised by the coolness there, and knew, as impossible as it seemed, that my dream was no dream at all.

Chapter Nineteen

Over
the next few weeks, life moved slowly and painstakingly forward. My cast was removed, much to my relief, and although still somewhat painful I was mobile, which allowed me some semblance of freedom again. Although always covertly guarded by my brother and Aidan’s protectors, whom I had come recognize easily, I found myself going out often to hang out with my friends after school and on weekends. Although I missed Aidan incredibly, I found myself able to laugh and live as I had before I recognized the intense feelings I had for him. The only fly in the ointment was the fact that my father and I were still not talking. Although I hadn’t forgiven him, I missed the easy relationship we had always shared.

My mother
, in her usual loving and nurturing way, decided enough was enough and called me to the carpet to end the silence between my father and myself. “Sweetheart, I try to support you no matter what you do, but I can’t condone this silent feud between your father and you any longer. He is devastated by your silence, and you are just as unhappy.”

“H
e shouldn’t have sent Aidan away,” I cried out.

Her jaw clenched, never a good sign.
“Young lady, that man cares for you more than anything in this world. He has been a better father then any human male I have ever met, and has given everything to see you happy. You might resent his decision, but I can’t believe you are holding a grudge for his trying to protect you.” She gave me that look all moms get when they are about to impart great wisdom and I sat down, waiting for it to come.

   “Aidan would never hurt me,” I grumbled
.

   “I do not think he would either
, at least not intentionally: but, honey, whether you believe it or not, you are too young to make decisions about the rest of your life. Right now, the only thing you should be worried about is being a teenager and having fun. You need to date other people and gain knowledge about males and how relationships work. That is why your father wanted you to have this time without Aidan. So you can make an informed decision about the life you could have as a human, if the time comes for you to make a choice between this life or one as a vampire.”

I knew
she was right. And now that time had passed and things had calmed down, I realized the hateful way I acted towards my father was not right. I just hoped he would forgive me. “Alright, Mom, I’ll talk to Dad.”

I stood and she hugged me close
, enveloping me in a cloud of vanilla. “I know this is hard for you, honey, but I know in the end if you decide you want Aidan, you two will be together. Just give it some time, alright?” I nodded and she turned me toward the doorway. “Now go and end your father’s torment, please.” She pushed me forward, and I found myself heading to the office to end the silent battle with the man who had raised me.

I poked my head in the doorway and my father rose from his desk
, looking surprised, which told me my mother had not let him know we had spoken. “Katie? Is everything okay?” he asked.

I
stared at him, remembering all of the good times that had passed between us in my life, and became overwhelmed with emotion. Tears pricked my eyes and he moved quickly to my side, wearing a worried expression.

“I’m sorry, D
ad. I know you are trying to protect me…” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I love you; please forgive me for behaving like a spoiled child.” I threw my arms around his neck and he hugged me close, like he had always done when I was upset.

“
Honey, I love you and I promise: if you still feel the same for Aidan when you are eighteen I will drag him back here, although I have the feeling he will already be at the door waiting.” He smiled and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear.

“I know you
are doing what you think is best, but I love him. I have for a long time, and I feel so empty when he is gone.”

His eye were
filled with compassion and understanding as he stared down upon me. “I just want you to try it my way, okay? I need to be confident that you have
lived
enough to make a sound choice to be with Aidan. Being with him would mean eventually you would have to give up your human life and, although you live amongst vampires, I’m not sure you understand what that will entail. You cannot fathom what it is like to see your friends all die of old age; to have to pick up your life and move every few years because you never age, never change; and to see the world change for the good and the bad, as you stay exactly the same.” He hugged me, encircling me with his loving arms. “Go out with your friends, date a few human boys, live your life as you were meant to. Then you can make an informed decision.

I thought about what he had said. How would I feel when Jess and Chris died while I
lived on, never changing, forever young? Could I bear moving and restarting my life over and over for the rest of eternity, never being able to form close friendships or put down roots?  Being with Aidan would mean great sacrifice on my part, and I realized now that my father just wanted to be sure I understood what I would be giving up. I couldn’t fault him for that. 

“
I’ll try it your way, because I agree I do need to understand everything I would be giving up, but I know it will not change what I feel for Aidan. I will always love him, no matter what I decide.” I hugged him, savoring the strength and love his embrace offered, then went to my room. I was happy that I had made peace with my father, but anxious about the decision I would have to eventually make.

   After a long soak in the
bathtub to ease my worries, I put on my favorite pajamas and decided an early bedtime might go a long way to making me feel better. On my pillow as I got ready to go to bed was a single, long-stemmed, pink rose, nestled amongst the clean white linen. I picked it up and brought it to my nose, savoring its soft fragrance, before settling it into a vase and returning to my bed, smiling like an idiot.

*****

   After fixing things with my father, my life took on a routine. I went to school, hung out with my friends, and went out often on dates with Chad, who, my family approved of whole- heartedly since he was so sweet and kind. Basically, not a threat. I, too, liked Chad, but more as a friend than a boyfriend. He was sweet and attentive but when he kissed me it was kind of awkward and uninspiring, nothing like when I kissed Aidan. I knew it was not a fair comparison, though. No one could ever make my heart race, or fill me with such joy just by his touch, the way Aidan did. I knew with all of my being he was the one I was meant to be with, and longed for the day we would be reunited for good. Until then I lived, experienced, and waited.