“Do you still have the cage?” I ask suddenly. Dervish stops talking to Juni and stares at me. “The cage in the secret cellar. Is it still there?”
He nods slowly.
“Put me in it.” I thought my voice might quaver but it holds firm. I stare at him unflinchingly.
“If you start to change, we can —” he begins.
“No,” I interrupt. “Do it now. Before I turn. I made a mess of you last night. I hurt Juni too. She was able to fix us up but I’ll be stronger tonight. Wilder. Maybe I’ll inflict damage she can’t cure.”
Dervish is silent. He exchanges a look with Juni.
“That could be detrimental,” Juni says softly. “You believed in yourself last night. That belief gave you the strength to fight. If you allow yourself to be caged up like an animal, perhaps you’ll start thinking of yourself as one. You might stop believing. . . stop fighting.”
“I won’t.”
“It might be for the best,” Dervish mutters. “If he does turn, I’m not sure we can control him.”
“You have drugs,” Juni says. “You can subdue him if you have to.”
“Remember Meera?” I say before Dervish can answer. “When Bill-E changed, he got to her. Knocked her out before you could inject him. Almost killed her. If that happens to Juni. . . ”
Dervish’s jaw stiffens. “You’re right. It has to be the cage.” He takes Juni’s hand. “It doesn’t mean we’re giving up. We’re just being safe.”
She nods reluctantly and looks at me. Her expression communicates the same thing that she promised earlier — “Trust me. I’ll stand by you. Even if Dervish doesn’t.”
I rise quickly. “Best do it now.” I take one last look at the sun. “The moon will be up soon.” I put my hands on my growling stomach. “I can feel it.”
The cage. Howling. Screaming. Battering the bars. Dervish and Juni on the other side, roaring encouragement, telling me I’m winning, calling to the human within, the one who’s rapidly disappearing, giving way to something new, deadly, beastly.
I fight but it’s much harder than last night. The beast is stronger. It assaults me without pause, snapping and growling, hurling itself against the ball of magic that is my only protection, ripping into it, howling bloody murder, hell-bent on breaking free to run wild and kill.
I grip my head between my hands and scream, veins in my neck stretched, fingers curling inward into claws. I keep shouting my name, trying to hold on to my voice, but all that comes out is a jumbled snarl. And the light around me is changing, becoming darker, the shades more limited, colors fading to grey.
“Not. . . going. . . to. . . turn!” I bellow, having to fight for each word. I let go of my head. Clutch the bars of the cage. Lock gazes with Dervish, then Juni. “Not. . . going. . . to . . .” The last word becomes an inhuman shriek.
“That’s right,” Dervish shouts desperately. “You won’t turn. You’re Grubbs Grady. You’ll win this fight. Gradys never lose.”
“Keep fighting,” Juni pleads. She puts her hands over mine. “You can do it. I know you can.”
I fall away from the bars, shaking my head, roaring with pain. The beast cackles. The battle continues. Torment claims me whole.
I’ve been fighting for hours. At least I think it’s hours. Maybe it’s just been minutes. Maybe I’m so far gone that I’ve lost track of time. Perhaps, for me, this night will last an age, never ending, an eternal fight between humanity and a force of wolfen evil.
I slump on the floor, leaning against the bars of the cage, staring around with wide, wild eyes, seeing the main desk, the key to this cage, candles, books, a chess piece in one corner, left over from my last fight here. My skin feels like it’s rippling. I want to let it. I’m tired. I can’t go on.
You must.
A new voice. Not my own and not the imagined voice of the beast. The voice of magic. It speaks quickly, softly, telling me we can beat this thing if we work together. It starts to explain how I can use it, the spells I need to cast, the words I must chant — but the beast picks that moment to yowl violently, filling my head with white noise, causing me to jam my hands over my ears and scream.
When the noise passes and I lower my hands, the voice of the magic is gone, or is so quiet I can’t hear it. I’m not alone. I still sense it there. But I no longer feel like it can help me. I’m losing this battle. Maybe I’ve already lost and just don’t know it yet.
More fighting. Pain. Terror.
Another rare moment of rest and understanding. On the opposite side of the cage this time but in the same slumped position as before. Dervish and Juni are crouched nearby, telling me how well I’m doing, how proud they are, I’m going to win, I just have to ride it out.
I turn my head a fraction and smile sadly at Dervish. “Sorry,” I croak.
“No,” he snaps. “You can’t give up. You have to beat this thing.”
“Sorry,” I mutter again, head dropping, panting hard, crying, tears hot on my cheeks, not feeling like they’re mine.
“He’s slipping from us,” Juni says. She sounds much calmer than my uncle.
“No!” Dervish barks. “I won’t let him. We have to —”
“Quiet,” Juni commands.
“But we can’t —”
“We won’t.” She reaches in and tilts my head back. It takes a few seconds but my eyes finally focus. She’s studying me coolly. “He’s losing concentration. We have to help him regain it. Force him back into action and spur him on to fight.”
“How?” Dervish asks tightly.
“A spell. One to act on the magic within him. It will be like injecting him with adrenaline — only it’s magic we’ll inject into, not flesh.”
“What spell?” Dervish growls. “I don’t know any —”
“I’ve been preparing one,” Juni cuts in. “Just in case.” She looks away from me and trades gazes with Dervish. “It’s dangerous. If it doesn’t cure him, it will kill him. I didn’t want to use it unless it became absolutely necessary. I still won’t, not unless he slips further and concedes more ground to the. . .
werewolf.
” She smiles fleetingly as she says it. Then her expression firms again. “I won’t do it if you object, but I want you to know it’s there if we need it. And I have to know if you’ll consider letting me use it, so I can finish preparing.”
Dervish looks lost, like he wants to cry. For a moment I don’t think he’s going to respond. But then, with a wrenching effort, he nods stiffly. “But only if there’s no other choice,” he wheezes.
“Of course.” Juni touches his cheek lovingly. “You’ll need to go to the house. If I go ahead with the spell, there are things I’ll need.”
“What?”
Juni closes her eyes. A couple of seconds pass. She opens them again. “Got it?”
“Yes.” Dervish laughs crazily. “You’ll have to teach me how to do that.” Then he stumbles for the door leading to the wine cellar.
Juni waits till he’s gone, then hurries to the desk, grabs the key to the cage, and inserts it in the lock.
“What are you doing?” I mumble, backing away from her as she opens the door and enters my lair. “Get out. It’s not safe. I could —”
“The Lambs are outside,” Juni says, stooping beside me, taking my hands, helping me to my feet. “Dervish was in contact with them earlier. They have the house surrounded. Ready to finish you off when Dervish gives the word.”
I shrug wearily. “Maybe it’s for the best. I can’t be helped. They —”
“No!” Juni hisses, and slaps my face. “I won’t let you sacrifice yourself. I don’t believe you’re lost. We can get through this but only by thinking positively, only if you fight. Dervish doesn’t understand. He called this wrong. He loves you but he underestimates you. He doesn’t know how strong you are.”
“No. I’m weak. I can’t fight anymore. I just want to let it happen. Simpler that way. I’m sick of all the pain.”
“I don’t care how sick you are!” Juni snaps. Then her voice changes. “I’m not doing this just for you. I want you to live for
me
too.”
She grabs me by the front of my sweatshirt, pulls me in close, and kisses me. It starts innocently, the way my mom used to kiss me when I was little and woke up scared in the middle of the night. But then it changes into something deeper and I kiss her back, the way I kissed Reni when we played spin the bottle.
The beast within me howls as we kiss. The magic surges and seethes. Around us the bars of the cage turn red, then crack and melt, tumbling away. The roof of the cage falls upon us. I swat it aside with a single powerful hand.
Juni releases me. She’s breathing hard. “Run, Grubbs,” she says, eyes bright, cheeks flushed. “Get away from the Lambs. Go the cave. Wait for me there.”
“The cave? But. . . if I turn. . . ”
“You won’t,” she vows, and kisses me again, quickly this time.
“Go!”
Without thinking, I bolt. Leaping over the bubbling bars of the cage, I race to the other exit, the one that leads away from the house. I tear the door open and flee up the stairs. Juni cheers encouragingly behind me, then laughs, her laughter trailing me, staying with me, comforting me, urging me on.
The top of the stairs. The way ahead blocked by a pair of doors, locked from the other side by chains, covered by a sheet of corrugated iron. I pause for the briefest of seconds, then set my right shoulder to the doors and thrust sharply. The chains snap. The doors explode open. The sheet of iron flies clear.
I emerge into moonlight.
Standing in the open, chest rising and falling rapidly, staring around, seeing the world with eyes one-third human, one-third animal, one-third magic. Picking out shapes, even if they’re hidden from direct sight by trees or the house. Nine. . . ten. . . eleven. . . twelve. The dirty dozen. But not dirty enough to hold Grubbs Grady — überescapee!
The beast in me wants to attack, rip them open, teach them not to mess with the Grubbster. But tempting as that thought is, I push it away and break for the forest instead.
There are three members of the Lambs back here. The unexpected shattering of the doors stunned them. But they recover quickly. Their training kicks in and they move to intercept me. Large men with clubs, stun guns, nets, rifles.
“Halt!” one of them shouts, aiming a rifle. I snarl at his gun and it turns bright red. He screams and tries to throw it away. Fails, because it’s burned into his flesh and welded itself to the bones in his hand.
The second Lamb rushes me, tries to bring me down with a football tackle. I grab him as he leaps, spin him around in the air, then slam him down hard, knocking him out — a perfect wrestling move. Loch would be proud. If I had time, I’d pin him for a three count. But as powerful and playful as I feel, I can’t linger. If the rest of the Lambs converge, things might not go so smoothly. I think I could take them all on and beat them but it would be stupid to put myself to the test.
The third of the rear guard has fumbled out a walkietalkie and is barking into it. I growl in his direction. Metallic claws sprout from the hard plastic and dig into the flesh and bones of the Lamb’s face. Roaring with shock and pain, he tries jerking the walkie-talkie loose but the claws have dug in too deep, wiring the device to his jaw.
I leave the Lamb stumbling around, screaming, tugging at the walkie-talkie, blood pouring from his ear and cheek. I race for the cover of the trees, moving swiftly, surely, feeling more alive than ever before.
As I reach the forest I spot the bum standing nearby, watching me. I laugh at him — he saw what happened to the others and is too scared to tackle me. I think about turning his legs to jelly or setting his clothes on fire, but since he’s not interfering with my escape, why bother? The spineless creep isn’t worth the effort.
I want to shout, “So long, sucker!” but my vocal cords are twisted and words won’t form. I settle for a mock salute instead. He stares back silently, face impassive.
Then I’m gone, sheltered from the moon and hidden from the remaining Lambs by the trees. Running with the ease of a wolf. Fast and slick, leaving no trail for anyone to follow. Heading for the cave and my reunion with Juni.
F
OR a couple of minutes I feel like a superhuman. Legs of steel, iron lungs, running faster than any normal person ever ran, obliterating records. Where are the Olympic judges when you need them?
But then I slow. Pain sweeps through me. I stumble. The beast snarls. Writhing on the cold, hard forest floor. Sobbing. Trying to fight. I raise my head and try —
Next thing I know, I’m in the hole that leads to the cave, tugging at the crate that Dervish left there, ripping it to splinters, clambering down into the dark abyss. Part of me hesitates. Grateful to still be human, eager to reach the safety of the cave, happy to wait for Juni, but remembering Dervish’s warning — this cave is dangerous, a place of evil magic. Perhaps I should —
In the cave. I’m howling, the howls echoing eerily. With an effort I make myself stop and the echoes die away. Then all I can hear is the waterfall and the superfast beating of my overworked heart.
How long have I been unconscious, howling, the beast thinking it had won, only for me to somehow scrap my way back and regain control? Impossible to tell but it doesn’t feel like a lot of time has passed.
The dark is absolute. It scares me. The feeling of invulnerability and supremacy that drove me through the cordon of Lambs has passed. The magic’s still there and so is the beast. But mostly it’s just me now, human and cold, alone in the dark, thinking with horror how close I came to killing the three Lambs, hoping I didn’t hurt them too much, wondering if I did the right thing by running.
I slide to the floor and pull my knees to my chest, clasping them tight, trying to see something — anything — through the darkness. Remembering Juni’s kiss with confusion and shame, wondering what prompted it, or if I just imagined the adult passion. What I definitely didn’t imagine — she said she’d stand by me even if Dervish gave up. She set me free and promised to meet me here.
It’s wrong. Her intentions were good but we shouldn’t be doing this. I should have stayed and taken what I had coming. Let Dervish handle the situation the way he thought best. He knows more about these matters than Juni or I. I’ve passed a fatal point. Split from Dervish. Crossed swords with the Lambs. Made a pact with Juni that’s cut me off from everybody else. What if she doesn’t come? What if she changes her mind and leaves me here? What if. . .