Blocked (30 page)

Robyn reached over and placed her hand on his. “Do you remember the night I had you meet Charlie and me at the IHOP for dinner?” Her question, coming from out of left field, threw him for a loop. Thankfully his mother didn’t wait for a reply before continuing to talk. “As you walked me to the door, you said we would discuss how I knew to bring you there for dinner, but that conversation never came to fruition.”

“Oookay.” With that night going as well as it had, Decker had completely forgotten about his mother’s intervention, but now that she mentioned it… “So that wasn’t some crazy coincidence then?” Robyn’s arched brow made him laugh.

“Do you not know our mother at all?” Ford snorted. “There are no coincidences with her.”

Decker didn’t miss the mischievous look Robyn shot at an unsuspecting Ford before she turned her attention back to him. “No, Deck, it wasn’t accidental,” she admitted. “I happen to play cards at the community center with April’s mother, Ellen. Oh, honey, don’t make that face. Yes, the woman is definitely... interesting, and I get the impression that she and her daughter don’t see eye-to-eye on, well, anything. But I do know that she loves April fiercely.” Decker watched as his mother’s cheeks flushed, something he’d only seen on very rare occasions. “I wasn’t trying to meddle when I told her about the gym you belonged to. After all, she said her daughter had all but locked herself up in a self-made prison for years—her words, not mine. And of course, when we realized that the two of you were not only dating but really hitting it off, Ellen told me that her daughter would ‘muck it up’ by keeping you at arm’s length and using her son as the reason, so I decided to delete that barrier.”

Decker’s head was spinning. How in the hell had all of that happened under his nose with neither of them the wiser?

Grimacing, his mother looked at him. “On a scale of one to ten, ten being really pissed off, how angry are you?”

Was she insane? Angry? He looked from her to Ford and back. “Mom, I’m a negative twenty. I can’t believe you did all of this for me, for us. I… wow. But why?”

“Because, honey, when you first met the
sexy woman
from the gym, you became someone I hadn’t seen in years. You were happy, excited, and content. All from just a few words here and there with a
beautiful stranger
. Ellen, bless her heart, said she’d never seen April so confident and happy. What kind of mothers would we be if we knew how to make things better and we didn’t?”

“Wow, and I had to screw it up. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over her, and knowing how much time you invested—”

“Bro,” Ford interrupted, “I thought we discussed this. You’re not giving up on April—you’re just giving her some space. Trust me, I
know
chicks. She loves you, and she knows you’re one of the good ones. Now stop being a pussy and do what needs to be done.”

“Ford Marcus Brand,” Robyn snapped, “you know I have no problem with language as long at my granddaughter isn’t in the room, but
that
word? Ick. It’s offensive. Don’t forget, I’m still your mother, and punishment can still be dealt.”

Ford looked cocksure, as if there was nothing his mother could do at his age that would hurt.

“I made pecan pie for after dinner. Use
that
word again, and you’ll not have even a sliver.”

His bottom lip curled downward, “Sorry, Mom.”

“Hmm.” Decker mussed his brother’s perfectly styled hair. “Your knowledge of chicks truly is amazing.”

Ford flipped him the finger, and their mom flicked Ford with the spatula. The three of them howled with laughter. For Decker, it was the first time in two weeks he’d even cracked a genuine smile, and it felt great. His brother was right; there was no way he was giving up on April, not yet. He couldn’t let her go without one hell of a fight, and in the end, if she really was done with him, then he’d respect her wishes.

* * *

WITH HER SATCHEL on her desk, April glared at the pile of term papers she’d collected throughout the course of the day. “I’ll never learn,” she muttered under her breath as she began to shove the reports in her bag.

Each year she swore to her colleagues that she would never give out long assignments again, because while it forced the students to use the skills they’d learned during the year, grading them became a nightmare for her. Not to mention she liked to get the grades back to the students as soon as possible, which meant sending Eli to her sister’s for the weekend. It just so happened that her poor planning had the papers due the Thursday before Memorial weekend, so she would work around the clock for the first half of the holiday then spend the second half with her little boy and her family. Eli didn’t mind because Ember belonged to a pool club, but just the thought of working Friday night and all day Saturday had her thumping her head against the hard wood desk.

“Ah, there’s the pleasant April Maddox I know and love.” Rori put her hands in front of April’s forehead, protecting it from further blunt force trauma. “Couldn’t help yourself, huh? Had to go and give the annual tight-ass term paper?” Rori crouched down and looked April square in the eyes. “You know you’re doing this to yourself, right?”

“What exactly am I doing now, Ror?” April sighed. “I give this assignment every year, and I hate it every year. But I think it’s important so—”

“Do. Not. Play. Dumb with me, chica. It isn’t a good look for you.” Her friend stood up and grabbed a chair from one of the pupil’s desks, brought it next to April’s, and planted herself down. “Do you know what I love about you?”

“My hair?” April deadpanned.

As if she hadn’t responded at all, Rori continued to talk. “I love your strength. I love your ability to pick yourself up and move the fuck on. You don’t just limp, you soar, and it’s amazing to watch. Hell, April, it’s inspiring.” Rori’s eyes flared with admiration. “When that shithead you were married to ripped your life apart, you grieved and then you mended. You’re an amazing mother and a wonderful friend…”

“But?” April questioned uneasily.

Rori sucked in a breath. “But that strength has, in some ways, become your weakness. You wear your tenacity like armor, making it practically impossible for people to get through. April, you’ve mended, yes, but you haven’t healed. And that, my sweet friend, is what will bring you down. Sometimes moving on means allowing yourself to actually let go of the hurt from the past. Because holding on to it will block you from finding the happiness you truly do deserve.”

The scrape of Rori’s chair on the linoleum floor jarred April from her silent state. “I didn’t force him to leave me.” She wasn’t sure if Rori had heard her whispered comment when, after a few seconds, there was no response.

“Who?” Rori finally snapped.

“Either of them.” April’s voice was loud but shaky. “They both chose to leave on their own. And I refuse to beg anyone to stay with me, Rori. They want out?” She pointed toward the hallway of the empty school building. “There’s the fucking door.”

Shaking her head, her eyes filled with what looked like sadness instead of anger. Rori placed both palms on April’s desk. “That, that right there is what I’m talking about. Listen to yourself. Ben was a cheating, lying asshole, April, and by the sounds of it, he always was. Compare that to Decker. The man made a shitty choice, one bad move in a litany of great ones. Someone finally manages to get past your protective wall, they make a mistake, and you kick them out forever. You kicked him out after he apologized. You. Not him. He came back begging.” She pushed off the desk, spun on her heel, and headed for the door. April watched as Rori pivoted just before she exited the room. “Wow, chica, it must be really hard dealing with such flawed people when you’re so perfect yourself.”

At a complete loss for words, April stood there blinking as her friend left her and the building behind. As if talking about him summoned him, April’s cell phone lit up with a text message indicator. While it wasn’t the first time he’d attempted contact in the past couple of weeks, seeing Decker’s name on the screen in that moment sent butterflies soaring through her belly, but her feelings still felt jumbled. She missed him, that much she was sure of, but was she ready to put aside her fears to let him back in? Was Rori right? Did she hold people to an impossible standard only to toss them away when they failed to meet her bar? She hadn’t always been so cynical, but naiveté had gotten her burned.

Decker:
Let’s talk

She needed to sort things out in her own head before adding him, his tender voice, his soft touch, and his playful sense of humor back to the equation. She deleted the text, grabbed her bags, and headed to pick up Eli.

“Mommy, when are Uncle Gust and Aunt Member coming to get me?” Eli scooted off the oversized, upholstered armchair that faced the large window and shuffled over to April.

“Any minute, sweetie,” April replied, her eyes focused on the first term paper in the stack.

“Are you sure you can’t come with us for ice cream? It’ll be fun.”

Ugh, she hated missing out on family time, but it was Thursday night. She figured if she made even a small dent in her grading, she’d be able to join her family for dinner on Sunday instead of picking Eli up from her sister’s afterward. She looked into her son’s big innocent eyes. “Not this time, honey, but definitely next time.” She forced a smile before returning to the paper in front of her.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

She recognized the wariness in her son’s voice, and immediately the work she was doing was forgotten as she pushed her chair away from the table and lifted Eli to her lap. “Sure, baby, why?”

While they had had a simple chat regarding the absence of Decker and Charlie—namely that everyone was busy and there wasn’t time to see each other—April had done her best to change the subject every time Elijah mentioned them.

“Your face isn’t happy again.” He touched her cheeks with his tiny hands.

“Again?”

“Uh huh.” He nodded short quick nods. “Before, you didn’t smile with your
whites
, and then you did!” Her little boy’s eyes grew large at whatever memory sparked in his mind. “When Charlie and D-man came around, you showed your whites and your dents. You look pretty when you smile, Mommy.”

“I’m smiling right now, Eli.” April’s stomach knotted at the realization that her four-year-old son had noticed the change in her demeanor.

“No whites and no dents, Mommy. I miss seeing them, so maybe you guys could get un-busy soon, okay?”

“We’re here!” Ember called as she and August entered the house. “Who’s coming for ice cream?”

“Me,” Eli chanted as he hopped off April’s lap and ran to his aunt and uncle.

April waved off August’s concerned glance and called out her request for a cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream for when they returned.

Sitting alone in her house, trying her hardest to concentrate on the students’ reports, her silent thoughts became stifling. They sucked the air from around her until finally she had no choice but to pay them the attention they sought. The past two weeks tumbled through her mind—no, the past few months danced through her memories. While her friends and family members were incredible and supportive, right down to the verbal ass-kicking Rori had given her earlier that day—it was Elijah’s simplistic view that finally ripped the blinders off her stubborn eyes.

She’d spent four years
protecting
her child from people she thought would hurt him, leave him, or make him feel unloved; but in the end, it was
she
who’d removed affection and love from his life, and it was she who’d removed it from hers. Eli was right. Decker made her smile, a real smile, one that she felt clear to her bones. While he had screwed up, there was no doubting the agony she’d seen in his eyes when he came to her. He wasn’t Ben. He’d learned from his mistakes. Now she needed to prove that she could learn from hers.

But how... how was she going to do it?

Pacing the floors, her mind reeling with decisions, she was startled when the front door opened. “God, that took you no time at all.” She swooped Eli into her arms and pressed her face into the top of his head. “Mmm, you smell like waffle cones.”

“Tiny, we were gone for two hours.” August arched his brow. “You okay?”

Inhaling deeply, April thought for a moment before looking at both of her siblings. “I think I will be”—she smiled—“I really do. Now, let’s get Mr. Waffle Cone bathed and ready for bed. Ember, you’re still good to have him for the weekend, right?”

“Oh, we have big plans, don’t we, E?”

With a loud yawn and a wide smile, Eli reached out, gave kisses to his aunt and uncle, and wrapped his arms around April.

“How about if we wait down here so we can chat after he goes to sleep?” Standing with his muscled arms crossed over his chest, August’s presence would intimidate most people, but not April.

“I promise I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Let me marinate on my thoughts overnight, and I’ll run them past you guys first thing.”

“Ahh, look at that, Aug. See that smile?” Ember pointed. “There’s some good stuff rolling around in that brain of hers.”

“I know,” her brother agreed. “That’s why I’m scared to leave her alone.” He cocked his head to the side, staring as if trying to figure out a puzzle. “Do you have any clue how eff’d up this whole thing could get by morning?”

“Guys,” April hissed, not wanting to startle Eli, who was fading fast in her arms, “stop talking about me like I’m some mental patient in need of a rubber room.”

“Well…” August chuckled. “If the straitjacket fits…”

April’s eyes narrowed, but she felt no anger toward her siblings as the three of them quietly laughed at her expense. “Good night, you two, and thanks for taking this little guy out. While I didn’t get much grading done, I actually got a lot accomplished.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Wonderful and Fabulous. Feel better? Egos stroked?

“GET UP, SLEEPYHEAD. The car’s all packed up and ready to go.” Decker smiled as he swept away the long tangled hair from Charlie’s sweet face and pressed a soft kiss on her sleep-warmed cheek.