Blissful Surrender (4 page)

Ryan’s eyes open and he stares at me, blinking a few times before a frown mars his face.

“Hey, little brother.” I step forward and take a seat in the chair by the bed.

“Hey, big brother,” he says, his voice muffled by the mask.

“What’s the damage?”

“Physically or financially?”

“Ry, what have—”

“It’s bad, Sean.
Real
bad.”

“How bad?”

“Worse than Detroit, bad. Worse than ever before bad.”

You’ve got to be shitting me. I thought I could come visit him, see he’s okay, then go home to a nice glass or two of twenty year old scotch, but no, Ryan has put the kibosh on that plan.

The chair legs scrape against the floor as I stand up and start to pace in the small confined area. My body is rigid, and the anger is rolling off me in waves.

“Sean, they know about you and they know you’ve got money. Today proves they’re gonna try whatever means necessary to—”

“Who are they?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

I scoff. “Well, fuck. Excuse me while I sit back and let criminals come into my club and try to steal from me, or bash my brother for a fucking gambling debt I didn’t know he fucking had. Or wait …” I pause for a moment, bringing my finger to my chin mockingly. “Should I just let them take whatever the FUCK they want from me just to pay YOUR debt. Let them take MY hard earned fucking money just so YOU are in the clear, ONCE AGAIN!” I bellow.

Ryan’s eyes go wide at my tirade, but I don’t give a fuck. I’m too wound up to care about being gentle with him. I can’t pussy foot around this issue. He needs help and he needs it now before he ends up in jail. Or dead.

I glare at him and see his heart rate has gone up slightly. A nurse rushes in with a security guard at her back. “Sir, I must ask that you keep it down or I’ll have to ask you to leave. You’re upsetting the other patients,” she asks in a saccharine sweet voice.

I throw my hands up in the air. “That’s fine, I’m done.” I look my brother straight in the eyes. “I’m DONE.”

I bend down and grab my laptop bag before turning to the nurse who has taken a step back away from me and I stifle a laugh. I’ve been told before that I can take down a room— or underwear—with a simple look, but this woman looks like she’s about to be crushed.

Turning away from Ryan, I step toward the nurse who is watching my every move. I hold my hand out to her. When she tentatively places her hand in mine, I look deep into her eyes, turning on the charm that does me so well in the boardroom and the bedroom. “Please accept my sincere apologies. My brother and I were just having a heated discussion. And can you please get someone to call me when my brother is being released? I’ll arrange for him to be picked up. He can give you my contact details for payment.” And just for added sweetness, I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it softly. “Have a nice night, ma’am.” That earned me a girly giggle. She’s way too young for my taste and in no way submissive, so we wouldn’t be a good pairing, but a little flirtation never hurt anyone.

I give her and the now scowling security guard a smile and walk out of the room as quickly as possible. I stop across from the door and rest both palms on the wall, my head dropping as I take in everything that just happened. My brother has fucked me over. Not intentionally, of course, but his uncontrollable behavior has brought trouble to my door. I need to think about this and what I can do about it; who I can talk to and how I can pay the debt before anything else happens to my club or staff … or Ryan because Christ only knows I’m a glutton for punishment and I haven’t the guts to disown him.

Yet.

Regaining my composure, I push off from the wall and shrug off my jacket, then pulling at the knot of my tie, I take it off and stuff it in my pocket. Feeling more relaxed, I turn to the elevators and stop dead. Walking toward me is the one woman I never thought I'd see again.

She looks up and falters before she stops in front of me. It’s like one of those movie moments where the world around us goes blurry and Sam and I stand there in the middle like we’re in a silent showdown.

One that’s ten years in the making.

Her emerald green eyes stare into mine, and her sandy-blonde hair flows softly around her face. I’m awestruck. She’s even more beautiful than when she was a fresh-faced, radiant woman with the world at her feet at twenty-two.

Samantha Richards, the woman who once held all the power and refused to acknowledge it. The woman who walked out of my life and rejected me with no explanation.

The woman who deserted me at a time when I needed her the most. 

Sam

Time stands still the moment I lock eyes with Sean in the bustling hospital corridor. We just stand there staring at each other for what seems like an eternity until my brain finally kicks into gear and I turn to leave.

“Sammy,” he says, stopping me in my tracks. I take a deep resigned breath and turn back around to face him—my biggest regret in life.

“Sean. Long time, no see,” I say confidently. My mom always told me to tackle each difficult situation with confidence, grace, and a ‘take no prisoners’ attitude. That advice got me through the police academy and gained me my ‘Ice Queen’ reputation it seems. Unfortunately, the pensive expression on his face shows he sees right through the façade.

“Are you here visiting?” His eyes drop and I watch as he does a full body scan before returning his stormy-blue gaze back to mine. I struggle to hold back the tremor that surges through me. He still affects me deep to my core.

“Yes, my partner and I were the first on the scene today when Ryan was assaulted,” I explain. I’m impressed at my ability to form coherent sentences in front of him, let alone being able to converse intelligently.

As he lifts his arm and grips the back of his neck, I take the opportunity to look him over. By God, he has aged well. No, scratch that, he has aged
fucking
well. His dark brown hair is cut short, matching the strong, unyielding personality I knew he once had. When we were together, Sean was a commanding force to be reckoned with. He could always walk into a room and own it within seconds.

When I look at his face again, I’m met with piercing blue eyes that threaten to unnerve me. I square my shoulders, creating an illusion of strength. I can tell that something is troubling him. His chiseled jaw is clenched tight like he’s trying to rein in whatever emotion is consuming him.

Just as an uncomfortable silence stretches between us, he quirks an eyebrow at me and his eyes crinkle slightly.

He just caught me checking him out.

C’mon, you can’t fault me. I’m a woman nearing the peak of my sexual prime. I haven’t had an orgasm in four days, and I’m standing in front of the man who unintentionally ruined me for any other man. Something I’ll never admit to him.

Ever.

“You were there first?” he asks incredulously. 

“That’s what I said,” I retort. My defense mechanism emerges from her dreamy Sean trance, stepping into her bitch panties and wearing them with pride.

His gorgeous eyes widen, but he quickly recovers. “Why?”

I know he’s assessing me, watching my reactions like a hawk. “I joined the academy after college. Been with Chicago PD ever since.” This conversation is as awkward as I knew it would be. Is it ever easy to talk with someone who you can’t admit still holds a place deep inside you? A man who you never allowed yourself to have a chance of a future with? Yeah … no!

“I’m getting the impression you’re still a hard ass too. At work anyway …” His gaze drops to my mouth, not missing the moment I drag my tongue along my suddenly parched lips. It’s a nervous habit that I’ve never been able to shake, and it’s obvious that Sean remembers too because his eyes flare quickly before returning to mine. Putting his hand in his pant pocket, my attention is drawn to his chest, his hips, his ….

I shake my head and catch the slight curl of his lips into an irresistible smirk. Dammit, he’s still the master mind reader he always was.
Right, Sam, snap out of it. You’re here to check on Ryan then you can go to Helen’s and get reacquainted with your friend Vodka.

Hang on.

What did he mean by ‘at work anyway’?

“You look well, Sam,” he adds, suddenly putting a crack in my armor with a simple compliment. “Had I known you were still in Chicago … well, I would have—”

“I’m just going to pop into Ryan’s room and make sure he’s okay.”

His body jolts and I definitely don’t miss the look of disbelief that shadows his expression. He studies my face, unnerving me to the core. “Do you have plans tonight?” His confidence is unmistakable as he waits for my answer.

An unexpected wave of warmth spread through my body from the fact that he wants to see me again. He’s gotten to me, just from a simple five minute conversation. I feel like I’m against the ropes with little to no options of winning. My eyes widen as I look at his lips again. “Yes.” My voice shakes slightly and the slowly growing smile on his lips tells me he did not miss it. “I’m going to my friends’ place for dinner.” I look down at my watch and realize that visiting hours will be over soon. “Sorry, Sean, but I’d better get to Ryan before visiting hours end. Great to see you again though,” I lie through my teeth. It’s fucking terrifying and thrilling at the same time.

He steps back, not appearing rattled or shocked by my act. “I see,” he murmurs. “Well, thanks for helping Ryan this afternoon. I know it’s your job, but he was knocked around a bit and it must have made him feel better knowing you were there. I own that club, so if there is anything you need … professionally, or any questions that need answers, please don’t hesitate.” He’s all business now as he pulls out his business card and hands it to me. I look at him and then the card before taking it in my fingertips. When my hands brush against his, the energy between us is palpable.

I adjust my purse on my shoulder and stand straight, almost eye to eye with this foreboding and gorgeous man from my past. In a split second that gives me no hope of evasion, he takes a step forward and wraps his arm around my waist, resting his hand on the small of my back and bringing my body close to his. Kissing my cheek, he brings his mouth so close to my ear that I tingle with the sensation of his warm breath on my skin.

“Until next time, Sammy ...” He kisses a spot just below my ear, turning the tingle into a full body shiver of the good but embarrassingly obvious kind, before he steps away, pulling his arm away and walking down the corridor away from me. 

I stand there dumbstruck, replaying the whole scene that just played out between us.

Then it hits me.

He could tell.

One look, a few exchanged words and a brief physical interaction and he could tell.

Fuck a duck and stuff me with a feather. I never could fool him, not with a simple fib or a lie by omission. He always knew. Right from the beginning he’d told me that he loved my backbone and sass but when it was just the two of us behind closed doors, I was his. Now the one thing I couldn’t admit to myself back then, the part of me he wanted to nurture, just revealed itself to Sean in all its glory.

But that’s in my past, and I realized a long time ago that as hard as you try, you can’t change what has gone before. You can only learn from it. And this time, Sean’s the one walking away from me, not the other way around.

Irony sucks ass sometimes.

I take a deep breath and walk down the corridor to the nurses’ station, asking directions toward Ryan’s room.

When I find him, he’s staring out the window looking lost. His vacant stare and downturned mouth seem unnatural on his face. This is Ryan, the guy who always used to liven up the mood of any room he walked into. He’s the happy go lucky to Sean’s intense and broody. The combination always made for a good time. But looking at the man lying in the hospital bed in front of me, all I can see is a lone man who looks like he’s lost everything.

“Ryan?” I say hesitantly. He slowly turns his head toward me and his body goes rigid in surprise, then relaxes again, although the wince I see cannot be missed. “How are you feeling?” My voice is still soft. I’ve had a lot of practice dealing with victims of crime, but something tells me that this is something else, something important that I’ve missed.

He shrugs his shoulders and turns his head back to the window. “Did you see my brother?” he asks, his voice flat and without feeling.

“Yeah, I did. Not my favorite thing in the world I must admit.”

“Why’s that? You two haven’t seen each other in what … ten years?” He still won’t look away from the window.

I sit down on the bed beside his legs and gently put my hand on top of the blanket to get his attention. “Ry, did something happen? With Sean?”

He slowly turns his head and stares at me as if I have two heads or something. His eye is almost swollen shut and he has a bandage around his head covering his wound. He studies me for what seems like forever before he asks, “Are you here as a friend or as a cop, Sam? Because the answer to that will determine my answer to your question.”