Blissful Surrender (24 page)

I try to call my home phone to no avail before trying Sam’s cell. It goes unanswered and I hang up before leaving a message. What I need to say needs to be said face to face.

The town car pulls up and I settle in the back seat before telling the driver where to go. Home to my girl.

Sam

It’s nearing two o’clock in the afternoon. I finally have a missed call from Sean, but he didn’t leave a message, so I’m not getting my hopes up until he calls back and I actually hear from him.

I’ve been thinking back on the past four months. Our relationship has been so much easier this time around once I admitted the truth to myself and to Sean. Had I just talked my doubts through with him back when we were first together, we could’ve had a real shot, but I naively listened to my bent out of shape mother and let her twist Sean’s need for control into something ugly and not true. Instead of being able to thrive under his hand and blossom under his dominance in the bedroom, I threw it all away and hid. He was never trying to control and dictate my life. He cared about me.

He loved me.

So when I left that message on Sean’s voicemail this morning, I let everything hang out. I laid it all on the table, not wanting to have the excuse of miscommunication to fall back on. I wanted him to know where I’m coming from and how important my job is to me but also, how important he is to me too. I get the call from Jeremy that Ryan is free to go and that he needs to be picked up. Driving him back to his apartment, he was very quiet, almost contemplative, until I pulled up outside his building. “Ryan, make sure you get something to eat and some sleep. I don’t think you got much of that in the cage.” I smile warmly and his eyes get some of their sparkle back.

“No, I don’t think it’s possible,” he retorts.

“Tomorrow, you need to call your therapist and make another appointment. And I meant what I said a while ago. I’ll come to your GA meetings if you need me to. I’ll sponsor you if that will help.”

“I’m sorry, Sammy. I really am.”

“I know, Ry.”

“Tell Sean I’m sorry.”

“You can tell him yourself. That’s if he ever comes out of wherever he’s hiding.”

“He’ll be at the club, probably locked away in his office. He’ll come to you when he’s calmed down. You’ll see.”

“Glad one of us is confident.”

Before getting out of the car, he leans over and puts his hand on my shoulder. “My brother never got over you, Sam. He never got another girlfriend, and he sure as shit didn’t get married. He’s been all about his career, the club, and obviously bailing me out of shit. Now it’s time for the both of you to get your happily ever after. He’ll come round.”

“I hope so.”

With a gentle kiss goodbye on my cheek, he gets out of my car and walks into his apartment building. I drive home to begin the waiting game, which didn’t end up taking that long.

Sitting on my front step when I pull into my driveway is the elusive man I love.

Sean

Sam steps out of the car, her eyes cutting straight to me as she takes slow, almost cautious steps toward me, her pursed lips the only sign of her wariness as she sidesteps me on the steps and unlocks her front door.

“Come in.” Her words are soft and unsure, like she’s trying to brace herself for whatever is coming.

“Sammy, I—”

“Let’s get inside first, Sean. I’d rather have a coffee in my hand before we start talking. I’m guessing by the look of you that you’ve had about as much sleep as I had which isn’t much.”

I follow her inside her apartment, then shut the door behind me as I watch her drop her purse on the kitchen counter and head straight for the coffee maker. She turns it on before reaching up and pulling two mugs from the overhead cabinet.

“I just dropped Ryan home. He’s feeling pretty sorry for himself, so I told him to grab something to eat and catch up on sleep.” She’s talking really fast, but her voice is steady and matter of fact. “And Jeremy has talked to the DA and the deal is set in stone. Ryan just has to keep going to GA and meetings with his therapist, then testify against that guy who had him last night. You’ll probably have to testify against him too, but Jeremy didn’t tell me much about what you guys talked about.” She’s so damn nervous that she’s rambling, talking a million miles an hour. “And I offered to be Ryan’s sponsor for GA if he wants me. Otherwise, I said I’d attend meetings with him if he needs me to. Whatever he needs, I’ll do it.”

She stops talking but continues to stare at the coffeemaker. I’m cemented in place, leaning against the back of her couch, facing the kitchen. I hear her take a deep breath, almost like she’s bracing herself for something, before turning around and walking over to me, holding out a hot cup of black coffee. Looking up, I offer her a gentle smile which she returns.

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

I watch as she walks around and curls into the chair in the corner. I follow her around the couch, sitting on the edge of the gray, suede three-seater so that I can stay close to her. I hate the emotional distance stretching between us right now, like she doesn’t know how to act around me all of a sudden, like we haven’t been virtually living together for the past few months. Touching each other, loving each other …

I look at her, taking her in. Her sandy blonde hair is pulled back off her face, her high ponytail accentuating her high cheekbones and soft jaw line. Those gorgeous green eyes that I lose myself in daily … those biteable pink lips that I can’t wait to taste again…

First things first
.

“Did you mean what you said?” I ask, refusing to let her pull away from me again.

“What?” she asks, her voice emotionless.

“Your voicemail. You said you loved me. Did you mean it?”

Her eyes widen minutely before narrowing, like she can’t believe I’d ask such a thing. “Of course I meant it, Sean. I meant every word I said.”

She leans forward, putting her cup on the glass coffee table in front of her before standing up. I look up at her and tighten my fingers around my mug as I fight the urge to grab her hips and bring her closer to me.

Bringing her hands up, she rests them on my shoulders, running them along my collarbone and cradling my neck. All of the tension that has been steadily building throughout the day dissipates and suddenly my whole body relaxes. Her eyes soften as she feels my muscles loosen under her touch. I decide that now is the time to swallow my stubborn pride and accept that the beautiful woman standing in front of me was right in doing what she did. She stood her ground and stuck to her guns. How can I ever be mad at her for that? She literally saved my ass by calling the cops. Now I can’t hold back, I place my hands on her hips, looking up at her.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” She nods, her eyes softening as I see a spark of something in there. Something good. “I’m stubborn and I’m an idiot. I went to the club and got smashed on tequila instead of coming to you. I should’ve come straight home, but I was pissed off. I told you not to call it in and you did.”

I flex my fingers, inching them under her T-shirt so that I can feel her silky skin against mine. I stand up so that we’re on an even keel. “I love you too,” I say, leaning forward and brushing my lips against her mouth, my eyes locked with hers. I pull back slightly, “I’ve always loved you.”

I slide my hands under her top, cradling her back and pulling her chest hard up against mine. This time I run my tongue around her lips before slowly pushing inside her mouth when her lips part on a moan. Her hands snake through my hair, her grip tightening amongst my strands. I pour everything into the kiss. All the heat, the passion, the bedroom tricks I have … none of it means anything in this moment. It’s about Sammy, the woman I love, finally admitting what I suspect are long held feelings.

Pulling back, I rest my forehead against hers. “Am I forgiven?” I ask with a sly grin. She smiles, her lips twisting into a mocking smirk.

“I suppose I’ll keep you around.”

I laugh. “That’s good then. But I think we’ve still got a problem …” I stand up straight and rest my hands back on her hips again, pulling her away slightly so my cock can come down from its seemingly permanent rock hard state.

“What?” she asks, her head jerking back in surprise.

I look around her living room, noticing how warm and homely it feels. “There are quite a few things in this room that would look awesome at the condo …” I wave one of my hands around, pointing at the couch, the chair, the old oak bookcase she has full of books. “That bookcase would look great in my office.” I stand up and turn toward the couch I was just leaning against. “This couch is much more comfortable than my leather one.”

She takes a step back from me so that my hand slips off her waist. “You want to take my stuff and put it in your condo?” Her hands are resting on her hips and her stance is definitely that of a pissed off woman.

“Well, yeah …” I joke. I fight back a grin as I watch warring emotions cross her face. Deciding to put her out of her misery, I step toward her, crowding her against the wall. “I’d hope you would want to bring your stuff to my condo since you’re moving in.” I give her a hard and fast kiss before walking toward the bookcase, perusing the books like it’s my god given right. There is a method to my madness, believe me.

“Oh, hell no.”

I school my face to look serious as I turn around to face her once more.

“You can just hold up right there, Sean Miller. You do
not
come into my house and declare that I’m moving in with you without asking me nicely. No fucking way. You can boss me around in bed, but you can never just decide what is happening in my life without asking me first. Fuck no!” Her eyes are breathing fire as she glares at me, and I know that this is the woman I want forever.

I stride over to her, pushing her with my body against the living room wall, holding her cheeks in my hand as I thrust my tongue in her mouth and kiss the shit out of her. I pull back just enough to wrap my hands under her firm, jean clad ass before lifting her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around my hips as I carry her through the doorway leading to her bedroom. Reaching her bed, I turn and drop back onto the bed, bouncing against her, causing an eager whimper to escape her mouth.

“Say yes,” I murmur against her neck as my lips lay wet kisses against her skin.

“Fuck yes,” she says, her voice breathy and uncontrolled.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Sam

It’s been a month since I’ve moved in with Sean. Thirty days of domestic bliss. Well, almost. He seems to love riling me up just to have the hot make up sex that follows. It’s almost predictable now. That’s not to say I don’t let him get away with it. It started off with little things—dirty dishes left in the sink, arguments over the need (or the lack of need) for a housekeeper now that I’m living with him, oh and Sean’s absolute refusal to let me pay rent. THAT was a good one. I ended up with my legs tied spread eagled to the bed, my hands still free to roam as Sean straddled me, first my face, then my hips, teasing and torturing me until I gave in and agreed to buy food, but not pay rent. Instead, he offered to accept payment in on call sexual favors. That earned a slap against his chest and a scowl for him, and earned me orgasm denial for a full hour until I was screaming at him to make me come or let me do it myself.

Now it’s a Thursday night, and having just got off my shift, I head straight to the club where Sean has told me he will be catching up on paperwork. Sneaking through the back entrance with my key, I make my way up the staff stairwell to the VIP floor, walking down the long dark corridor until I get to the black enamel door at the end, knocking three times before stepping inside.

“Sweetheart, you’re early,” he states as he looks up at me leaning my back against the door. His brow furrows as he takes in the view. “And still in uniform?”

I tilt my head and look at him. “Didn’t think you’d complain but I can go if you want …” I shift to my right toward the door handle and I see him smile.