Blindsided (44 page)

If only I’d listened. If only I’d stopped and thought about the man I trusted.

If only for one second I’d trusted the man I fell in love with, days and days of heartbreak and misery could have been avoided.

The worst thing is that I don’t know if there’s any coming back from this. How can he ever forgive me? How can he ever look me in the eye and believe that I’m sorry?

Because I am. And that’s what hurts the most right now. My own stupidity and stubbornness has destroyed the one thing I fought so hard about. Yes, I fought to stay away, but in the end, I fought to stay together, too. I wanted Corey, body and soul.

I do want him, body and soul. That never changed despite the fact that I thought he broke my heart. Despite the fact that I thought he betrayed me.

In the end, I betrayed him, and I’m the one who broke our hearts.

My brain excuses it because my world had just been thrown into another solar system’s gravitational pull. I was too high on emotion and shock to listen to the logical side of my mind.

And now, I’m standing outside his house, walking back and forth across the entrance to his drive, because I can’t decide if I should run away or go and tell him that I’m sorry.

Maybe it won’t matter. Maybe it won’t make a difference. Maybe he’s already moved on.

But maybe I need to do it. I just…

“You just gonna stand at the end of my driveway all day, or you gonna make up your mind if you’re comin’ in or not?”

A shiver travels down my spine and my heart thumps and my skin buzzes, all at the same time, at the mere sound of his voice. Slowly, I turn. He’s shirtless, his hands in the pockets of his jeans making them ride lower than they usually do. I pull my eyes from the bright-blue glimpse of boxer shorts over his waistband and look into his blue-green eyes.

“Probably the former,” I reply quietly.

“Let me help. What are you doin’ here?”

“Deciding if I should run or ask you to talk,” I admit, my eyes still on his. I can’t take them away. It’s impossible.

“You gonna shout at me? Cuss me out? Tell me to leave?” Pain flits across his face, and I feel sick.

I shake my head without responding verbally because it’s too much.

“C’mon, then,” Corey says. “Come in and talk to me.”

I run my fingers through my hair and pause for just a second. I follow him though. Because I know I have to. I have to tell him that I know it wasn’t him and I’m sorry.

He leads me into the front room and I stand awkwardly in the doorway.

“Sit down.”

I shake my head again. “I just… I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “I know it wasn’t you. Cole came over and he showed me where the leak started with the hacker and everything since, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to believe it was you, but I couldn’t think of anything, and I was scared and I panicked and I’m sorry.”

I cover my mouth with my hand and run toward his front door. I don’t care if running makes me weak.

Stand in front of the person you love knowing they might hate you and tell me you can be strong. I dare you.

“Leah!”

I stop halfway down the driveway. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the desperation in his voice—the rough, gravelly tone that mirrors the ache inside me. Maybe it’s the pounding footsteps running up to me. Maybe it’s needing to hear his reply although I’m petrified.

Corey stops in front of me, his hands hovering by my face for what seems like an everlasting moment. Then his fingers curl around my hand and pull it away from my mouth.

I look up, guilt wracking me, my heart aching so painfully that I can’t tell if it’s beating or not, and I swallow against the tears building in my eyes.

He says nothing. He shakes his head, his lips forming a sad smile, and cups the back of my head. The moment his mouth meets mine is like the cool breeze on a hot summer’s day, an eye-closing, toe-curling glimpse of pleasure.

Then it’s gone, the touch all too fleeting, and I can’t bear to open my eyes. I don’t want that to be goodbye.

“Inside,” Corey whispers. His arms go around me and he walks me toward his house, his face buried in my hair.

I’m walking backward like a penguin. He’s all I have to hold on to, so I do. I wrap my arms around his waist and flatten my hands against his bare, hot skin, committing every sensation to memory.

He’s holding on to me tight—so tight that I’m sure he isn’t going to let go. I don’t want him to let go. I would happily stay here, never speaking another word for the rest of my life as long as Corey’s arms are around me.

He spins us by the sofa and drops back, pulling me down with him. I squeak and roll to the side, my grip loosening but his still remaining. He turns with me, his eyes on mine the whole time, a glint I can’t decipher sending shivers across my skin. Goose bumps appear in its wake, leaving my arms all pimply and spotty.

“I told you so,” Corey whispers, the rough edge still evident.

“You did.” I run my fingers along his arm and up to his face. I cup his cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“I’m not mad. I swear, babe.” His hand slides up my back to the back of my head. His fingers splay across my scalp and tangle in my hair. “I never blamed you for not believing me. I just wish I could have been there when you found out. I wish I could have told you. Shit, Leah. Seeing you so heartbroken…” Corey pauses. “Never again. I never ever want to see you fuckin’ cry again.”

“I should have listened to you.” Despite his last words, tears fill my eyes. “I should have trusted you, Corey. I should have believed you’d never do that to me.”

“But you didn’t.” He grabs my hand when I drop it from his face. “That’s okay, y’know? When this started, it was a game. You didn’t mean shit to me. But now, you do. Shit, you mean everything to me. My whole world just stopped when you walked away from me. I never expected you to trust me. I just had to make it so you could.”

“I do,” I whisper, linking my fingers through his. “I do trust you, and that’s the craziest thing. It was a game for me, too. I thought that, if I gave you what you wanted, you’d give up, but then you didn’t, and I realized I couldn’t either. I was waiting for you to fuck up, you know? I was waiting to see you on the front page with another girl or for you to dump me with fanfare, but you didn’t. You kept going, and every step you took made me come, too. You already made me trust you. You made me believe in you, cowboy.”

“I’d never hurt you like that, darlin’. Never. Just understand that, all right? It doesn’t make sense to me. You are the most incredible, fascinating, sassy, beautiful person I know.” Corey raises our clasped hands to between us and kisses my fingers.

“You went quiet.” My voice is still a bare whisper. It’s so quiet that I’m surprised he could hear it.

“I didn’t know what to do,” he admits, holding our hands between us still. “You made me leave. I was…lost. Shit. I was totally fuckin’ lost without you, babe. I don’t even want to feel that way again.”

“You don’t have to.” I ease my hand from his and touch his cheek again. “If you don’t want to, I mean.” I bring my face to his, and in a rare show of vulnerability, I whisper, “Please don’t ask me to go.”

“Never.” He pulls me around and onto his lap. With his hands on my back and mine cupping his face, he leans up and says, “I will never ask you to go. Not in a million years. I’d rather get on my knees, say goodbye to every ounce of pride in my body, and beg you to stay than ask you to go.”

I close my mouth over his, sealing his words the only way I know how. Sealing a promise with our bodies. The physical act always follows the emotional because that’s how we work. Our bodies have to verify our words.

Our chemistry is too consuming to be ignored.

Corey removes my shirt in seconds, the material barely grazing my face as he whips it over my head. “I need to be inside you,” he says into my mouth, his words perfectly in time with his kiss. “I need to know you’re mine. I need to claim you, Leah. I need to convince myself that you’re back here in my arms and you’re mine.”

My lips press against his with a ferocity I didn’t know I had in me. Yes, yes. Because I need to know I’m his. I need to know he’s mine. I need to forget the hell and heartbreak and let Corey work me into oblivion the way only he can.

My bra is gone almost as quickly as his shirt was, my taut nipples rubbing against his hard chest. His hands cup my breasts tenderly yet harshly. His thumbs tease my nipples into harder nubs than they were while his rapidly growing erection pushes against my core between our pants.

But it isn’t fast enough. There are too many layers between us, between the parts that really need to be connected. I ghost my fingers quickly down his chest to his pants and undo his button, then mine, so he gets the message.

He shoves at my knees, making me stand, and hooks his thumbs in his waistband. I shove my jeans and panties down my knees and kick them off not so elegantly then leap on him. His hands wind into my hair, not caring, and I lower my hips to his. Shit—his cock is rubbing against my clit. We’re so close, so firmly pressed together that I can almost feel the pumping veins that run the length of his shaft.

His hand goes down and he unapologetically plunges two fingers into my pussy. I gasp at the sudden intrusion, but it’s what I want, what I need…almost.

I need to be filled by him to the nth degree. I need my body to be so full of him, so consumed, that I can feel nothing but him. Then I know I’m his and he’s mine.

Then I know we can battle anything.

Then I know that we are more than just something.

“Please,” I whisper. “I need you, Corey. I missed you so fucking much.”

He withdraws his fingers and places the end of his cock at my opening. “I missed you, too,” he breathes against my skin, his mouth hot, his breath hot, his whole body fucking hot. “Not anymore. Never again.”

He slips inside me easily because my body has been waiting for him. It’s been wondering where he was, wondering when he’d come and ease inside me again to kill this ache that’s formed.

With every thrust, he eliminates the ache. With every kiss, he eases the sting. With every stroke of his finger across my skin, he takes away the pain that’s lingered for days and days and days.

With every touch, he screams. He shouts. He yells from the rooftops that he’s mine wholly and completely.

With every bit of him, he sends out a warning that he’ll always be mine.

With every bit of me, I send out the warning that I’ll only ever be his.

S
he’s tucked in my arms. Our legs are tangled, her face is buried in my neck, and her breath skates across my skin with every rise and fall of her chest.

She’s exactly where she’s supposed to fucking be.

I run my fingers through to the ends of her soft hair, and she tilts her head back to look at me.

“Hi,” she whispers like she wasn’t moaning my name into my shoulder fifteen minutes ago.

“Hi.” My lips tug into a smile.

She blinks up at me, her blue eyes shining and bright. “You’re squashing me a little.”

I laugh and roll to the side, grabbing the back cushion of the sofa so I don’t fall on to the floor. “Is that better, babe?”

Leah nods. “But now, I’m cold.”

“I can warm you up again.”

“Corey!”