The cause was more important. Aeron was more important.
Renee could feel Aeron watching her as they rode back up the
mountain. No doubt she could tell something was wrong. Even without gifts,
Aeron knew her well enough to read her moods.
Too well.
“Well done,” Renee whispered, hoping that Aeron would think that
she was merely acting cold for the audience.
Aeron grunted in response and Renee’s heart sank. The last thing
she wanted was to hurt her but the alternative was unbearable. No, it was
better this way. Instead of explaining and letting Aeron in, instead of having
the comfort and release that talking to her would bring, Renee stayed quiet.
Duty first.
She looked over the barren snow-filled landscape and felt colder
than she should have. Stupidly, when she had met Aeron, she had begun to
believe that her past would not define her future. Aeron’s laughter, her joy at
the simplicity of life had covered over the dark spaces, the loneliness, but
now Renee would have to face reality once more.
All she wanted was to be back in Nan’s cabin. Safe and sound
beside the river with Aeron. Safe and sound.
So many years being other people had become a survival mechanism.
So many identities used to hide the mess that was her own. Aeron had found the
woman within her and she’d enjoyed that warm summer pretending, hoping.
Foolish, silly hopes and dreams that would have to be chased away.
Dreams that had no place here. She was the job. She was her duty.
To do that, she would have to become someone else once more and
that someone couldn’t be close to Aeron or anyone else. Isolation was the only
way they could get through this. Renee looked at Aeron who stared toward the
emerging shapes of St. Jude’s. Aeron, her little Missourian. Her strong jawline
proud and noble, her imposing stature like a beacon of hope and warmth. She was
so beautiful. The native blood and European mix culminated in a powerful, yet
gentle soul. Strong, kind, courageous, and so very, very unique. Aeron made it
impossible not to love her.
Renee was used to hiding. Burying every part of herself was
something she was used to but burying the love she felt for Aeron would be
agonizing.
A smile played across Aeron’s lips as Evan called out to her from
another ATV and Renee groaned. Agonizing and close to impossible.
I HELPED CHARLIE off the ATV trailer with Evan and the doctor
rushed over to us as we carried Charlie up the steps to the field hospital. My
hands were cramping from clinging onto the rope and I was glad that Renee
hadn’t gotten close enough to notice that I’d battered my left knee.
The thought of Renee’s weird reaction only brought a queasy feeling
to my stomach and so I decided it was best for everyone if I just ignored her
mood for now. Even if it was confusing me and, if I was honest, it hurt.
Renee kept her distance as we settled Charlie onto a bed that had
been brought down into the reception area.
Joyce came sprinting over and hauled herself into his arms. “I
told you not to go,” she kept sobbing over and over. “You never listen.”
He met my eyes and I could see that he wanted everybody to leave
them alone. Her energy was manic and like one of those whizzing fireworks that
darted off in all directions. She made me feel all giddy just looking at her.
“I’m fine, honey,” he whispered to her, his eyes pleaded with mine
to get everyone to back off. “I’m just fine.”
“Hey, how are the others?” I asked the gathered rescuers and Mark
nodded over to the other side of the room.
“We got two families,” he said and then lowered his head. “And the
boy.”
“Where is he?” I asked. I knew from touching Charlie that he’d
been holding onto the boy on that slope for hours. What I didn’t know was what
had happened to his family.
“Over with the women,” Mark said. “He’ll get fussed over until
he’s blue.”
I walked over to the little boy who looked up at me with clear
blue eyes. It was funny how many different shades of blue there seemed to be.
Renee’s were grey but with hints of blue that made them look like the color of
a rainy sky in winter. The little guy’s eyes were more like a cloudless summer.
“Hey there,” I said. I tried not to yelp as I knelt beside him.
“What’s your name?”
“Can’t get him to talk,” one of the women told me.
“Too shocked,” another added.
“Needs to lie down,” a third said.
I took off my gloves and held my palms up. “I’m different,” I told
him, not that I needed too. Kids seem to get things a lot quicker than adults.
“If you put your hands in mine, I can tell stuff about you.”
Shooting a glance at the ladies who were now discussing what best
to feed him, I lowered my voice. “I can help you.”
He searched my eyes for a while, then his big blues filled with
tears and he placed his hands in mine.
What do you mean you can’t find him? Where are you, you little
jerk?
SLAM.
Please don’t . . . he’s just a boy.
CRASH.
A boy? And whose boy is he, you tramp?
BANG.
Run Zack, run . . . don’t let them find you . . .
BANG.
I gripped him to me, tight, as his pain poured out through his
breathy sobs. The visions thick and fast.
“
Zack Thomas, his mother is locked up for murder, shot the
boyfriend.”
Long corridors, strange faces, kids in their beds with hostile
eyes.
“His name is Zack, he don’t speak. He’s stupid.”
One kid to the other. Pushed to and fro, pushed and shoved.
“Zack we’re taking you to Denver, there’s a place you might like
there.”
Strange places, names, faces, the car is big, smells of cigarettes.
The mountains so big, so white.
“We’ll be there soon. What the—?”
“It’s okay,” I murmured to him as he sank into my arms. “You’re
safe now.”
Something inside me bonded to the kid in that moment and no way
was I letting more strangers take him from my side.
“My name is Aeron,” I told him. “I’m here for a while so you can
stay with me. Would you like that, Zack?”
At the mention of his name, his eyes filled with wonder.
“Told you I could see it,” I said. “Now, why don’t we go get some
food?”
“Aeron?” I turned to look at Renee who was frowning. “You need to
leave him here.”
“Uh uh.” I felt Zack grip hold of me. “Me and my buddy are gonna
get some pecan pie.”
Renee folded her arms. “Aeron, you can’t.”
Her anger rippled from her but I was tired, battered, and I was
not gonna let Zack face another night on his own. Nan had said I was here for a
reason and I was pretty damn sure that Zack was it.
“
We
are,” I told her. “Come if you want or we’ll see you
back at the cabin.”
“Aeron,” she called after me, but I carried my little buddy
through the snowy street and climbed up the café steps.
If I was real honest, I would admit that Renee’s demeanor had me
swirling around in circles. Maybe we both needed a timeout.
I opened the door and was greeted by the smell of cooking. Martha
soon came scurrying over and led me and my buddy over to a table.
“And who do we have here?” Martha asked.
“This is Zack,” I said. “He’s the strong silent type but he’s also
kinda starved.”
Martha chuckled and seemed to get my hint without faltering. “How
’bout a burger and fries?” she asked him.
Zack didn’t need to answer out loud, his eyes and grin did it all
for him.
“Same for you?” Martha asked me. “What will Serena have?”
My stomach clenched. Now, Renee, the
real
Renee would tuck
into a
croque-madame
as she called it or a ham and cheese sandwich,
toasted with an egg on top—a Monte Cristo—to the rest of us. I guessed it was a
meal that she’d learned about in Europe, or maybe it was a family thing brought
over from there. Anyhow, Renee loved that meal and she loved a fried breakfast
too. She loved a lot of things that I did. I looked up as the door opened and I
weren’t sure if the woman walking through the door was Renee anymore. Something
had happened and she was surrounding herself with the impenetrable wall that I
once got to see through. It hurt.
I adored Renee, even when she was fiery and intense, but Doctor
Serena Llys was another story. No, she was the stuck-up Ivy League psychiatrist
who was all airs, graces, and vegetarian diets.
“Not sure,” I answered as Renee joined us.
“These two are in the mood for burgers,” Martha told her. “What do
you care for?”
Who was standing in front of me? Renee, the woman I knew, or
Serena, the stranger?
“Vegetarian pasta if you don’t mind.”
So that was it then. All the promises she’d made back in the
summer about us always being close, about caring about me as a person were all
lies. All she had spouted about me not just being another protectee and that
she’d take me on a road trip to see her mom, it was all just another face. Man,
did it sting. In fact, it hurt as much, if not more, as Sam’s betrayal. I
stared out of the window to try and squash the pain back down. It seemed like
everybody who said they cared only did when it suited them. Guess that was all
a freak like me could expect.
Zack squeezed my hand and I looked down at him, fighting
desperately to control my voice. “What’s up, buddy?”
He grabbed three straws from the side.
“Think he wants a soda,” I said to Martha.
She chuckled. “You think, or are you more of
a milkshake man?”
Zack scrunched up his tanned face as though she’d asked him the
meaning of life. After long, arduous minutes of contemplation he turned to look
at me. I got the flash of him with a pink frothy moustache.
“Milkshake,” I answered. “Strawberry.”
AERON AND THE young boy seemed in perfect harmony as Martha
watched them chomp on their burgers. The boy was mute and no doubt traumatized,
that much Martha could see, but he looked completely at home with his giant friend.
Martha smiled to herself as she filled up his milkshake. He looked
comfortable and safe around her. Not that she could argue with that. From what
she had seen of Aeron, she was the sweetest, gentlest spirit.
It made Martha wonder at the world. How one so tall and muscular
could be so soft.
She caught sight of Serena as she placed the milkshake on the
tray. Now there was a conflicted woman if she had ever seen one. She watched as
Aeron and the boy giggled, their connection effortless and sibling-like. It was
evident that Serena wanted nothing more than to join in. In fact she looked
like she would give anything to relax.
So why wasn’t she?
From the way that Aeron talked to her and acted, Serena was very
welcome, very much liked and yet she chose to isolate herself. It was almost
painful to watch, and if she was a busybody, she would more than likely try and
unravel the reasons to help.
“Martha, hon,” Earl called and she tried not to tut as he stood in
the doorway in his oily clothes. “You got something I can get on the go? The
pipe is leaking and—”
“Wash,” she interrupted. “Then I’ll fix you a steak.”
Earl smiled and went to approach but she wagged her finger.
“Wash.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his eyes lighting over her face for long
moments.
An apology for not being perfect, not being the man he had wanted
so much to be. She looked away, unable to stand the self-loathing in his eyes.
He was who he was, same as she. That was that in her eyes.
“Mom?”
Martha smiled reflexively as she turned to see her son standing
where Earl had been. He was a perfect blend of them both, her red hair and
Earl’s green eyes. Her willowy frame but with Earl’s strong arms and legs. He
was a wide receiver and had been offered a scholarship, having caught the
attention of quite a few college scouts. She knew next to nothing about
football and all she knew was her son had a knack for catching the ball in the
touchdown area. Much like his father had once done.
“Mom?” Ronny asked when she didn’t answer. “You dreaming of
anything nice?” He dipped around her to pinch some fries from out of the
serving tray.
“Look at the state you’re in,” Martha scolded him. “Just like your
father. Go on, go get washed up. No food for either of you until you’re clean.”
Ronny swerved around her swatting, pinched another couple of fries
and then ducked through the back door which led to their private home. She
wanted better for Ronny. She and Earl had the cabins but they hadn’t been
fruitful and it was getting harder and harder to keep them running.