Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits (44 page)

Kellerman

I’m functioning. That’s all I’m doing at this point. Kid’s been gone over twenty-seven hours and we’ve made no progress in finding her. We haven’t run out of files yet, but we’re looking through lesser likely options now. I refused to get up and eat dinner with everyone else that’s on my “shift” so Mary brought my plate out to my research spot (gifting me with a scowl of disapproval before she left). It’s not like this is social hour for any of them either, I just have less to offer than they do.

I have (or maybe had) relationships with Cal, O’Sullivan, Kav, Finn and Aidan. I’ve been getting to know everyone else a little here and there before this shitstorm landed. I don’t have anyone to depend on in my life. I’ve been on my own since my dad died. My mom took off when I was still in diapers. She came in and out of my life off and on until I was a teenager, haven’t heard from her since. It honestly doesn’t bug me. She wasn’t cut out to be a mom, not her thing. Dad more than made up for her absence. I’ve got aunts, uncles and cousins dotted around the country but no tight relationships. Being up in Seattle and the Bering Sea, family didn’t much concern me. While my dad was still alive he and I were really close and I had a small group of friends (other fisherman), I was good with that.

Everything changed in my life after Kathy and Mia. Before that, I was really social, huge group of friends. I partied a lot and didn’t pay much attention to things that mattered. I know I was young (classic excuse), but I was selfish and egocentric. When we lost Kathy and Mia, a switch flipped in me. None of my “friends” came to check on me, not even a phone call. I was at the hospital with my dad for days and he was the only person that cared how I was doing. After living in the same place my whole life, with a shit ton of friends, I was shocked how alone I felt. So I took off. I ran as far away as I could, trying to escape the guilt I felt and trying to become a different man.

I’m not sure I succeeded at becoming a different man. Here I am, closing myself off just like last time. I miss my dad so much right now. He didn’t try to make me stay in Kansas City; he got my move at the time. I needed that space to heal. Dad let me have the distance in miles but our connection never faltered, we talked all the time. He got me through the grief and the pain that I felt. If he were here, Dad would help me get through this.

When the guys flipped on me in the pool house it felt familiar. They made no consideration for me and took Taylor’s word (and half naked pictures) as fact. It looked bad, shit it was bad, but they should have talked to me. So I’m acting like a spoiled little bitch and pouting about it. I also don’t have the energy to put into the necessary conversations; everything is going to Kid right now. That’s all I can do.

I feel the pressure of a hand on my shoulder pulling me out of my pity party for one. I look up to see Mr. Kavanagh standing there with a soft look on his face. I pop one earbud out.

“You’re still at it?” he asks the unnecessary question. I nod briefly before moving to get back at it. He pulls a chair up next to me stopping my progression toward isolation.

“You’re pissed at the guys.” It’s a statement not a question.

“I’m fine,” I respond coolly.

“You’re a shit liar, Dylan.”

“Mr. Kavanagh I really am fine. I just wanna find Kid.”

“We all want that. You’re strugglin’ with more than that though. Aaron told me,” he says softly. Thanks Kav. Now I have to deal with Kid’s family knowing about my possible paternity issues. Clusterfuck is the kindest term I can think of to describe my current life circumstances.

“I’m not thinkin’ about anything other than Kid right now, sir. I’ll deal with everything else once we have her home.”

He lifts his chin at me catching that I really don’t want to think, much less talk, about this right now.

“You need any help. When the time comes, I’m all ears,” he says sympathetically before standing and moving to his spot at our research area. I push my earbud back in (Metallica) and focus on the file in front of me. That was nice of him to say…maybe I’ll take him up on that offer.

Kavanagh

My pop just walked away from the zombie that is Dylan Kellerman. He’s getting worse if that’s even possible. We’re all wrecked, emotionally drained, pissed…you name it, we’ve got it going on. Kellerman has us all beat though, and he won’t let anyone near him to try to help him. We’re all shut out.

“He talk to anyone yet?” O’Sullivan asks as he claps me on the shoulder and motions toward Kellerman.

“Just said about ten words to Pop.”

“Shit’s on us, huh?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know, man. We’re all a mess but him…it’s different.” I shrug and watch Kellerman methodically read, mark and set aside case file after case file. He could have a career in this…if that’s a career.

“Think she’s okay?” O’Sullivan whispers.

“No,” I whisper back. “She’s not okay.” He sucks in a breath at my brutal honesty.

“I don’t get it. Kid wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he huffs. I quirk an eyebrow at him and we both grin. “Okay. She would hurt, kill and maim but only out of necessity. She doesn’t hurt anyone that doesn’t have it comin’. She fights for the people that can’t. I don’t get it.”

“This has to be about somethin’ from Chicago. It can’t be firm related, right?” He nods his agreement. “So then we got two options. It’s from when she was a little girl, which seems unlikely, or it’s from undergrad.” I shoot O’Sullivan a knowing glance.

“Liam and Brendan? Why though, man? After all this time who would do this and have the resources to pull it off?” he questions rapid fire.

“I’m just talkin’. I’ve got no more answers than you. But I feel less and less confident the answers about who took Kid are in those fuckin’ files. I think they may be in our past.”

“Let’s get the guys together and talk this through. If this is really about that night and what we did…we gotta do somethin’ about it,” he finishes turning on his heel to find our brothers.

If someone took Kid because of what we did to Liam and Brendan she’s already dead (my stomach lurches at the thought). I can’t figure out what Mancini would want with that though. If Liam sold drugs for Mancini back then it was small time. Why would he come after her now? Christ nothing makes a damn bit of sense! Every time I feel like I’m finding answers…I end up with more questions. More damn questions and no Kid.

Shannon

“Shanny?” I hear Nicky’s voice in the distance. I peel my eyes open to find him hovering over my body concern bleeding from his eyes.

“I’m cold,” I croak. I must have fallen asleep after committing murder. Parasympathetic nervous system must have kicked into overdrive and made me tired (I paid attention in biology). The dead body is still slumped over the end of the tub. I feel nothing when I look at it.

“Let’s get you outta here,” Nicky says softly. He has a towel draped over his arms like you would for a baby that he easily scoops me into. Now that the adrenaline is gone I feel every movement, every fiber of the towel. The pain causes me to shake more than I already was from the cold.

“I’ve got you,” he soothes into my hair as he carries me back into my torture chamber. I look down the hall quickly to see if I can find an exit, but all I find is the world’s longest white hall with no visible exits. Perfect!

Nicky lays me on my side and I immediately roll to my stomach to remove any possibility of my wounds touching the mattress. Nicky moves around the room a bit as I keep my face cradled in my arms face down.

“I’m gonna treat these wounds now, Shanny,” Nicky’s voice is still soft and smooth. I thought he’d be mad I killed that guy, but he killed one too so maybe he’s not attached to these people.

He starts putting something goopy on my legs first working his way up, I tense and yelp.

“Sorry.”

How can a man be slitting the throat of a torturous demon one second and a soothing caretaker the next? He works his way up to my ass where the majority of the damage is. I squeal when he gets to the deeper ones.

“SSShhhhh,” he soothes as he moves over them. I want to be soothed but all I am is on alert for the next beating or inevitable rape. I do get quiet though. He finishes on my lower back and stands up off the bed. I feel a large sheet-like fabric draped over my back, he smoothes it gently over my wounds.

“You’ll be more comfortable now.” I hear him sit in the metal chair next to my bed. There’s tension in the room so I wait for whatever he’s got planned for me.

“What happened in the bathroom?” Nicky’s voice is choked with emotion. I turn to look into his face and I see sorrow. Why’s he sad? Did I kill his brother or something? That would just be my luck right about now.

“He told me it was a shame you wouldn’t let him rape me because he’s easier on pussy than you are. Then he remembered you’re more into anal than pussy so he figured he’d take whatever you left. He came over to the bathtub and tried to touch me. I touched him instead,” I explain clinically.

Nicky runs his hand through his unruly hair just like Finn does. I bet Finn is bald by now from the stress of trying to find me.

“I’m sorry,” he says in a whisper.

“About?” I ask curtly.

“Him sayin’ that shit to you. Him tryin’ to touch you. You havin’ to kill him on your own.” His tone is disbelieving, like I should know he’s sorry for all of that.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he won’t be the last before this is through.” I give him an accusatory glare and then turn my face back to the mattress.

“I wasn’t done in the bathroom,” Nicky’s voice is stronger and sounding more pissed.

“Great. You wanna try your hand with me in there? I feel like my chances are pretty good at this point. One down a few more to go,” I snark into the mattress. If I could eat a meal I’d feel better about my threat. I’m sure I’ve been here more than a day with no food and no water. I should have drunk some of the bath water.

“Shanny, I need you to look at me,” Nicky demands. I make no such effort. Fuck him and his band of raping torturing brothers. He lets out a defeated sigh.

“My name is Nick Cooper. I’m an undercover agent with the Domestic Crime Agency. I’ve been workin’ undercover in the Mancini Crime Family since I was twenty-one. I’m here to keep you safe and get you home,” he dictates forcefully. Okay that got my attention. I pivot my head and study his face. There’s no waver or lie there, just his sad sapphire eyes.

“Are you schizophrenic?” I ask concerned. He barks out a loud laugh before smiling at me.

“No. I’m both the things I told you. The one I just told you is the real me and the first is my cover. You need to know both because while we’re here I need to be Scarso. If they suspect anything is goin’ on other that what’s supposed to be, we’ll both be in danger. That’s why I acted the way I did earlier. He had to think I was the same old torturing murdering Scar.”

“You forgot raping,” I accuse harshly. Nicky quickly divests himself of his chair, leaning onto the bed his face inches away from mine.

“I have never in my life touched a woman that didn’t want it,” he growls.

“What, no doesn’t mean no to you? Does it just mean try harder?”

“Jesus Christ you have a mouth. If I was what you seem to think I am what do you think mouthin’ off like that would buy you?” Nicky slams his body back down into his chair glowering at me. My mouth can’t seem to stop itself. I need to shut up.

“I don’t know, Nicky. I’m new to this world of rape and torture. I’d hate to give you a wrong answer. I’ve learned what that gets me.” Okay apparently I can’t shut up.

“I’m gonna stop this before it gets outta hand for no reason. I’m NOT a fuckin’ rapist. I had to leave you in the tub because I have to maintain my cover if I’m gonna keep us both alive. I’m sorry you had to defend yourself and that won’t happen again while you’re here. The team has been informed that you are to be left alone at all times and they won’t disobey.” He rakes his hand through his hair again before finishing his thought.

“I talked to my uncle and he filled me in and didn’t all the same. The team here now has ten guys plus me. You and I have taken out two. If bodies keep stacking up we’ll have problems so that needs to stop. What he didn’t tell me is that there is a lookout team nearby as well as another grab team. He won’t tell me because he’s paranoid, as he should be, that if someone knows the locations of all the teams they can get you out.