Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits (21 page)

Once in my room I rip off my yoga pants and Kel’s hoodie. I may have sniffed it first. I jump in my bed, pull the duvet up to my neck and close my eyes. A few minutes later my door opens and Kel comes in, I know it’s him even though my back is to him. The room changes when he walks in…or maybe I can just smell him. He sits on the edge of the bed behind my back and sighs.

“Kid, can we talk?” he coos softly.

“Talk.” I’m irritated and monosyllabic words are all he’s getting.

“I was gonna tell you about Seattle. I got offered the job at QD today and I need to go to back to get my stuff from storage and tie up some loose strings there. I’ll only be gone for a week and a half. Kavanagh has his birthday that Saturday, I’ll be back for his party at Flannery’s.” He’s trying to butter me up but it’s not working.

“’Kay.”

He huffs and stands up.

“This is tough for me too, Kid.” He’s pacing around the room. “I know we just met and this is new and super fuckin’ intense, but it is what it is. I don’t want to leave you for a second, much less ten days. And while I’m glad Taylor is here for you, it makes me feel like shit that it’s not me takin’ care of you, watchin’ out for you.” I sit up and look at him. He’s at the end of my bed scrubbing his hands over his face like he’s trying to wake up from a bad dream.

“I know how crazy I sound and I’m sorry for that. But it’s how I feel. I feel whole when I’m with you, I’ve never felt that before. That’s how I fuckin’ feel about you after two and half days, the thought of being away from you for four times that sounds like a damn prison sentence. Please don’t be mad at me, Kid. I can’t leave if you’re upset with me. Please?” He’s begging me like a child. There’s panic in his eyes and I crumble. I drop the duvet I’m holding and stretch my arms out to him. He crawls in the bed and lays his head in my lap wrapping his arms around my ass. I run my fingers through his hair and after a few moments he starts to relax.

“I’m not upset that you’re leaving.” He winces. “That’s not what I mean. I’m not happy you’re goin’. I’ll miss you too. I was upset because the guys knew and I didn’t. I like to be number one with information about my life and this whole weekend I’ve been the last to know everything. I don’t want that with you too. You can’t keep shit from me, even if it seems little. Trust is a hard thing with me and I’m a grudge holder. If we’re gonna have any kind of a relationship, even if it’s just friendship, I have to be able to trust you.” He flops over on his back and covers his face with his hands.

“I told the guys at the range tonight, fully intending to tell you when we came up here earlier. I shoulda known things would get outta control. I shoulda told you on the way home or somethin’. I’m sorry and I won’t do it again. I know how important trust is to you and I want to be the person you can trust the most.” He moves his hands and looks me right in the eyes, sincerity oozing from them. “I will never be just your friend. You’ve got great friends out there already. I don’t want to be your friend. I want to be your everything.” WOW!!! I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t even know this guy. He knows a lot about me though…more than anyone else I’ve ever dated. My everything…I could get used to that.

Kel climbs out of bed taking off his pants and tank. He crawls back into bed engulfing me in his arms, nuzzling me into his chest. I feel so at home here it scares me a little, but it makes me happy even more.

“I probably shoulda asked this earlier,” his tone is serious. “You aren’t seeing anyone else are you?” Good question. We’re a little late for that one aren’t we?

“No. Are you?” I’m worried.

“I just got out of a relationship in Seattle about two months ago,” he says as he shrugs.

Oh God I’m a rebound. I tense. “Oh.”

“When was your last relationship?” he asks.

“Uh, never.”

“Never? What do you mean never?”

“I mean never. I’ve dated a few guys but I’ve never had a real relationship. I don’t do trust, remember, makes havin’ a relationship difficult. I’ve never lasted more than a few weeks with a guy.” I shrug. He’s tense now.

“How many weeks?”

“I guess about three, if I think about it. I don’t think I’ve lasted a month.”

“That’s, uh, wow, I don’t know what to say,” he stumbles. “I figured you’d been at least engaged before. I was sure you were married the first time I met you.”

“Why?”

“You carry yourself like you belong to someone.”

“Belong to someone?” I spit the words out like they’re venom.

“Yeah, not in some creepy ‘I bought and paid for you kinda way’, in a relationship way. The way a woman should carry herself when she’s not lookin’ and not available. There’s a confidence you exude when you walk in a room, Kid, that lets everyone know you’re not to be fucked with.”

“Well, I’m not to be fucked with,” I say emphatically. “I have never been the girl to skank around hopin’ for handouts or attention. If someone wants to get to know me they can do it the old fashion way…talking to me. I’ve never been married, engaged, or in a relationship so I don’t know the rules about how a girl should carry herself in, or outta, one. This is just how I am Kel.”

“It was a compliment, Kid. I’m not gettin’ it out well obviously. I think you’re amazing and the fact that you haven’t been swept up by some man is their loss, and my gain. But I don’t plan on bein’ ousted in three weeks. Are you tellin’ me that’s all the time I get?”

“I don’t know what to say to that Kel,” I say softly and rub my hand over his chest. “I don’t know any other way. It’s not like I had a timeline with them, that’s just where it ended. But it always ended. Maybe I’m too much. Maybe I want something that doesn’t exist so I run men off before they can disappoint me. Maybe I’ve only dated pricks. I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Well, I’m not easily run off, you’re not too much for me, and I’m not a prick. I plan on stickin’. I need to tell you something else, part of the open and honest relationship.”

“O…Kay” I roll over and look in his eyes. They’re soft and sweet.

“I put dad’s house on the market. I can’t live there. It’s too much being next door to Mia’s old house and dad gone. I just can’t.” He sighs. I can only imagine how hard that is. It took me months before I could walk into Kavy’s room after Liam’s attack. Even after that, I could never be in there more than a few minutes.

“Hey, I get that.” I put my hand on his cheek. “Thank you for tellin’ me.” I smile and smooch a loud kiss on his lips. “Where are you gonna live?” Here? Wow way too soon, Kid. Who are you and where is the usual me?

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll look when I get back.” He shrugs and rolls me so I’m smashed into his chest and his chin is resting on my head.

His breathing slows and soon he’s fast asleep. It’s weird sleeping in his arms. I’m used to being with Kavy, where it’s safe and comfortable. I feel safe here in Kel’s arms too, which is scary for me. It feels like home here against his chest, cocooned in his arms. I need to be careful with this shit. I can’t be getting too wrapped up and emotional with some guy I don’t even know. I like him and that’s good enough for now. He’ll surely fuck up or I will; that’s what always happens. Enjoy it while it lasts. Crazy girl shit officially squashed! With that I fall asleep.

We’re all up bright and early as Kel and I make our way downstairs. I’m so not a morning person; even waking up to the most stunning man I could have ever dreamt up. It’s weird walking in the kitchen and Taylor is standing at the end of the breakfast bar like he belongs there. He really is an attractive man. I could have done worse in choosing the person I’ll have to spend all my time with. He’s staring at me with those caramel eyes and I feel a pull to him. He’s about Kel’s height and his gaze is commanding from up there.

I feel a hand on my back and gasp, ripping me from my reverie. I look up at Kel, shifting his eyes between Taylor and me thoughtfully. I guess I’ve been caught ogling the staff. I’ve turned into some kind of perverted sex machine in a matter of days. Get it together, Kelly! I smile, trying to play it off. I stretch my arms up around Kel’s neck leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss his pillowy lips. He brings his mouth to mine and hoists me off the ground; I wrap my legs around his waist as is becoming our common pose around here. His hands knead my ass as his mouth possesses mine. This is not for my benefit, this is for Taylor…I’m being marked. Not my favorite behavior, but it’s hot so I allow it. I hear a throat clear in the background. Kel pulls away and looks beyond me at Taylor.

“Rodger’s here, Shannon, we should get a move on,” he states firmly. Pissing contest still engaged apparently. Kel’s eyes are shining at him like daggers are actually forming. I grab his face and pull his gaze to mine.

He softens. “Have a safe flight. I’ll talk to you later.” I place a long firm kiss on his lips and climb off him.

“Be careful, Kid.” He kisses my forehead. I turn to walk away and Taylor presses his hand in the small of my back, leading me out of the kitchen. I can feel Kel’s eyes boring into the back of my head but I keep moving. I hear the murmuring of my boys as Taylor shuts the front door behind us. Rodger beams at me and puts me in the back seat of the S-Class.

“Good morning, Shannon,” Rodger greets me.

“Morning, Rodger. I trust you’ve met Taylor.” I nod in Taylor’s direction. He’s scanning the area but listening to me.

“Yes I have,” Rodger smiles.
“It’s good to know someone’s watchin’ out for ya. How’s your hand today?” My hand actually hurt quite a bit after the bag work ye
sterday, shooting, and crazy make out session.

“It’s feeling better,” I lie.

With me safely in the vehicle Rodger and Taylor climb in simultaneously, it’s like a security ballet.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Taylor asks softly still looking ahead, “what happened to your hand?” I can’t lie to him, because he can find out from the boys. Plus he should know I can handle my own shit without a gun too.

“I pounded on some guy’s face Saturday night,” I say nonchalantly and shrug. Rodger pulls his shades off his eyes and bugs them at me in the rearview. I laugh at his reaction. He shakes his head and resumes carefully attending to the road.

“Why is it that you were pounding the guy’s face and not one of your roommates or your boyfriend?”

“Firstly, I don’t have a boyfriend and my boys aren’t my roommates they’re my family,” I chide him. Learn quick pal. “Secondly, I don’t need anyone to take care of pounding someone’s face for me. I’m good on my own. I appreciate you being here and risking your life for me, but having you here wasn’t my choice. I’ve been takin’ care of myself for a long time.” I bore holes into the back of his head.

“I was just wondering if you go off halfcocked on your own a lot or if those guys just leave you to your own devices.” I’m hitting the fucking roof now.

“Rodger, stop the car NOW.” I’m calm but deathly serious. He stops in an empty parking lot.

“Get out of the fucking car,” I lean forward and seethe into Taylor’s ear. I rip my door open, climb out and slam it shut. Taylor steps out and shuts the door politely, calmly leaning back against the door with a fucking smirk on his face, arms crossing his chest.

“Let’s get a couple things straight here. I’ve never gone off halfcocked in my life. I take pride in my ability to keep my shit together, no matter the circumstance. I’ve survived shit that would break most people. So don’t ever again, in your time with me, insinuate I’m some dim witted floozy running amok.” His smirk is gone. My tone is firm but tempered, I don’t think he expected that. “My boys never leave me. They’re the constant in my life, and would do anything for me. Including, convincing me to hire your sorry ass, to keep me safe. This is your first and last warning, don’t ever disrespect them again or I’ll put a fucking bullet in you.” I glare at him silently seething. He stares me down for a minute longer and then breaks away, looking at the ground.

“Sorry, Shannon,” he sounds contrite, “I had to see if it’s easy to get a rise outta you. You seem to be fiery and I needed to make sure you aren’t a risk to yourself. I see now you handle yourself just fine. It’ll make my job easier.” Wow. Really? He was just fucking with me.

“Don’t test me again or you’ll experience the full breadth of the fire I can produce.” I climb in the car and shut the door with more finesse. Taylor climbs in and Rodger pulls back onto the road. We ride in tense silence.

When we pull up at One Kansas City Place I climb out before Rodger has a chance to assist me. Taylor scrambles behind me, barely making it onto my elevator. He paces me to my office. When I see Karl I slightly shake my head at him to not engage. He puts his head back down and “works”. I open my office and wait for Taylor to pass me before I close it behind him. I frost my glass wall for privacy and make my way to the sitting area. I throw my bag on the coffee table and pull my gun out. This gets Taylor’s attention. I set it on the couch next to me and motion for Taylor to sit down in one the chairs opposite me.

“You obviously need some background information about me if this is going to work,” I state plainly. He sits and nods uneasily.