Authors: Victor Methos
31
Nate Thomas sat at the table in the fanciest restaurant he’d ever been to. He didn’t have a lot of money and dinner was usually a quick stop at McDonald’s or Chick-
fil-A. It was just so much easier than trying to cook. But it had strained his finances recently and he had made up his mind to eat at home more. One day, he wanted a wife and he would be expected to save and provide for her.
The waiter came by and offered him a water, something called
Vos, and he said he would like two bottles. The waiter looked him up and down and leaned in close.
“Sir, it’s twenty dollars a bottle.”
“Oh,” he said, blushing slightly. “Do you have just tap water?”
The waiter nodded as though annoyed and walked away.
Nate took a deep breath to try and calm himself. But the excitement wouldn’t leave him alone. He was jittery and his stomach was in knots. He nibbled on some warm bread with butter, but even that little bit of food made him feel nauseated and he stopped.
Then, he saw her.
She was slender and muscular. Wearing a dress that exposed her back. She smiled and it made his heart drop. He looked away and then realized how stupid that was, and looked back. He deserved this. He’d saved all year for this night.
“Hello, Nathan,” she said, sitting down across from him.
He couldn’t help but smile. “Hi.”
“Thank you for being here on time. Have you ordered yet?”
“Oh, um, no. I thought we would order… I mean, I didn’t know what you wanted.”
“It’s okay. No need to be nervous. I’m here for you.” She reached out and gently touched his hand. “I’m going to take care of you tonight. Let me order for us.”
The waiter returned with tap water. “Anything to drink for you, ma’am?”
“A glass of the
Larkmead Cabernet. Two of them, please.”
The waiter cleared his throat, looking at Nate. “That wine is fifty dollars a glass.”
“You’re right,” the woman said. She pulled out a thick wad of cash and laid three hundred on the table. “Better bring the bottle.”
Nate smiled as the waiter grimaced and walked away. “You look really pretty.”
“Thank you. I feel very pretty.” She leaned close to him again, gently caressing his hands with her fingertips. “Tell me everything about you.”
“Not much to tell. I’m not a very good talker.”
“We don’t need to talk. We can just touch.”
He felt something underneath the table and realized one of her hands had gone under. It slipped up his leg and to his crotch. He thought his face might be burning red by now.
“Let’s forget dinner,” she said. “I’d like to devote more time to other activities.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Good. Let’s have a few drinks first, though.”
32
Suzanne came over to Stanton’s house an hour before their agreed-upon time. She actually looked quite stunning in a red dress with her hair pulled up, a strand coming down over her cheek. She smiled at the door. Her sister was with her, a younger version of her with a stack of books under her arm.
“You ready?”
“Yeah,” Stanton said.
“This is Ann. She’s at USC right now. You taught there, didn’t you?”
“No, I taught briefly at UCLA and a couple of junior colleges. Nice to meet you, Ann.”
“You, too. Suzanne’s told me a lot about you.”
Stanton let them into the home. Mathew was playing video games and he glanced back and then did a double take. He was immediately dumbstruck by Ann. Johnny barely noticed her.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m Matt.”
“Ann.”
Stanton grinned and looked to Suzanne, who was smiling. “They’re cute. Let’s sneak out while we have the chance.”
“I’ll be back, guys,” Stanton said on his way out the door.
They climbed into the jeep and Stanton said, “Okay, where to?”
“Take H1 going east.”
Stanton began to drive. He would occasionally glance at Suzanne, who had a grin on her face. She reached out at some point and placed her hand over his. He enjoyed her company and he appreciated her with his children, but that catalyst wasn’t there. Two people that knew they could work together felt something that started something else. Stanton knew that. Whatever that thing was, it wasn’t between the two of them.
Attraction was something Stanton had researched in graduate school for a seminar. Later, understanding it was paramount in the work he had done in sex crimes.
The conscious factors of attraction were easy to see, he thought. The other person’s appearance, how they
acted, how they smell and feel to the touch, the sound of their voice, their station in life… we attributed all of our attraction to these factors, but they were superficial. The unconscious was a mind of its own and cared nothing for these things.
Stanton understood that everyone entered adulthood with wounds left over from childhood. Usually, they were a diminished sense of self-esteem and identity. But for those that suffered trauma, whether physical, emotional, or sexual, the wounds were far deeper.
In a sense, the unconscious was searching for a person that could help heal those wounds. But the very act of trauma damaged the unconscious. Disconnected it in some sense from the conscious mind. The result was that the radar that should have been used to find the perfect mate, found instead the same type of monster that harmed the mind in the first place. A woman that had been sexually abused as a child was prone to finding morally void, predatory men. A man that had an alcoholic, absent mother would without a doubt find the same in a wife, or go the opposite route and become one himself. A type of healing by attempting control over what hurt them. The only way to overcome it was through intense therapy and recognition of the pain, and the mind’s attempt to heal it.
Stanton had trauma, too, and it was difficult to tell how much it influenced his decisions in whom to be attracted to. By every measure, Suzanne should have been a good fit for him. She was gorgeous, wealthy, kind, Christian though not Mormon, and loved his children. But deep in his mind and in his gut, Stanton knew he had not the least amount of attraction to her.
“Jon,” she said, “can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“We’ve been neighbors a while and, I mean, this is the first time we’ve gone out. Just you and me.”
Stanton knew where this was going and he didn’t want to have this conversation just now. “I went through a pretty painful divorce. And not even a year ago, my fiancée and I called off the wedding. I’m not exactly thinking I have the best luck with relationships, Suzanne.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Whether she accepted his answer or not, she didn’t show any reaction.
The restaurant they went to was an upscale place known as the Mecca of Hawaiian regional cuisine. The chef had won several awards, and you saw them hanging on the wall shortly after walking through the doors.
The lighting and décor were warm gold, with paintings of crimson flora on the walls. They were seated in the middle of the restaurant, and the waitress handed them a wine menu and went through the specials. They consisted of lamb tapenade and duckling with gold pineapple chutney. Suzanne ordered a bottle of wine with two glasses.
“I don’t drink,” Stanton said.
“Really? Okay, well, let’s pass on the wine then. I hate drinking alone.”
When the waitress was gone, Suzanne said, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay.”
“So, I hate to pry, but is it because of an alcohol problem?”
He chuckled. “No. Religious beliefs.”
“Oh. I mean, I knew you were Mormon, but you know.”
“I know.”
A loud party was seated behind them. Five men, all drunk. Stanton glanced to them and then back to Suzanne.
“I want to hear about your work,” she said. “You never talk about it.”
“I don’t think you want to hear about it.”
They sat in silence a few moments. Stanton wanted desperately to show her a good time. To get across to her that she was beautiful and deserving of attention, but he couldn’t do it. Suzanne had planned an entire evening
, but she had to have known that something was wrong. Stanton thought it’d be much better if this ended quickly rather than the two of them forcing it along.
“Suzanne, I’m glad you’re my friend. And I like spending time with you… as a friend. But romantically, I don’t think it would ever work. I’m sorry.”
Her face lost a certain anticipation. She folded her arms across her chest. “I sense that. I don’t know why you think that, but I sense it.”
He rose and laid two hundred dollars on the table. “I’ll see you. I really hope this doesn’t affect our friendship.”
“Just leave, Jon. Don’t make this anymore humiliating than it already is.”
He turned to leave but glanced back once at the door. She was staring out the window, her eyes glistening.
33
When Stanton was back on the interstate, all he felt was guilt. It tugged at his guts, and he could’ve thrown up if he let himself. Suzanne had been nothing but kind to him, and he showed her cruelty. He wondered if he should have just faked the entire date: false smiles, witty stories, and a kiss at the end. But then the pain would come when she would ask when they could see each other again, and he would have to reply that they couldn’t. No matter what route he would have chosen, it ended with Suzanne in pain.
His cell phone was on the passenger seat and he kept placing his hand on it. He understood who he wanted to call, who he wanted to spend this night with.
Before he knew what was happening, he spoke into Google Voice and had his phone call Heidi Rousseau.
On the second ring, he went to hang up but then heard her voice.
“Hello?”
“It’s Jon Stanton, Heidi. Sorry to bother you.”
“No bother at all. What’s going on?”
“I just… wanted to discuss your sister with you a little more. Maybe we could meet.”
“Well, I’m already in my PJ’s. Why don’t you come over here?”
Stanton hesitated. “I don’t want to be a burden. We can do it when you have some time.”
“Right now’s fine.
Lemme give you my address.”
She gave it to him and Stanton recognized the area. He told her he would be there in fifteen minutes and then hung up.
Stanton had never, not once, called a suspect like that. He was interested in her sister, but that wasn’t the reason that he had called. He wanted to spend time with her. Something about her was like a magnet. Tonight, with Suzanne, all he could think was how much he wished that Heidi had been the one with him.
In fourteen minutes, Stanton was parked in front of Heidi Rousseau’s house. The home was secluded, surrounded by at least an acre or so of jungle before the next home over. The beach was even closer to her house than it was to his.
He got out and went to the front door. After knocking, he looked over to a foam pad and quilt that was on the porch. Next to it was a dog bowl with food still in it.
Heidi answered, wearing University of Hawaii pajamas. She smiled at him as she held the door open. He stepped inside without a word.
The house was sparsely decorated and there were still a few cardboard boxes lying around. It had the appearance of someone that was either moving in or moving out.
“Do you want something to drink? I have hot chocolate.”
“That’d be great, thanks.”
Stanton followed her into the kitchen. She mixed the drink and then got out a canister of whipped cream and sprayed a thick batch over the steaming chocolate. She handed the mug to him and then made one for herself.
“You look a little sunburned,” she said.
“I’m okay. Scottish skin, I guess.”
“You never did say where you’re from.”
“My father’s parents were from Edinburgh. My mother’s were from somewhere else in Scotland. Stanton family lore says their parents knew each other. That my mother and father actually played together as kids. It was just by coincidence that my parents met when they’d both moved to the States.”
She placed whipped cream on top of her drink and then led him out to the patio. She sat in one of the chairs and brought her feet up on the seat, the mug held by both hands. Stanton sat next to her. The view was of the beach and the ocean.
“You believe in fate?” she said. “That your parents would have met and gotten married no matter what?”
“I don’t know. No, I guess not. I think we make our own choices. What about you?”
“I believe in fate. I think some people are just born destined for certain things.”
“You don’t believe we have a choice?”
She sipped the hot chocolate and licked some whipped cream off her upper lip. “In the little
things, like whether I’m going to take another drink of this hot chocolate, yes. But in the big things, like what type of person I’m going to be or who I’m going to marry, I don’t think we do.”
Stanton was silent a while and looked out over the water. He sipped the hot chocolate and it burned his tongue, but he didn’t say anything.
“The view alone is worth the price of this place,” he said.
“It is. That’s why I rented it. The owners are this nice couple from Philadelphia. They’re retired, and told me they’ve been married for forty-six years. Can you imagine that? Being with the same person for almost five decades?”
Stanton didn’t reply. He listened to the waves a bit and then said, “Tell me more about your sister.”
“There’s not much more to tell.”
“I want to get a feel for her. I just know facts right now.”
Heidi took a drink and then looked down into the mug as she spoke. “We were ten or eleven, right before she was taken away. I remember we went to this Seven Eleven and they had an arcade game. Some boys were playing it. We knew them from school. Not all the boys were nice but these ones were. When they were playing their game, Heather brushed past one of them and reached down and pulled the plug from the wall.” Heidi drifted off in thought a moment. “It’s such a minor thing to think about now. Compared to things she’s done. But I remember that as the moment I knew my sister had nothing redeemable in her. When she saw a chance to be cruel, even to someone who had shown her kindness, she would do it.”
Stanton placed his mug down and leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs. “How many people has she killed?”
Heidi shook her head. “Who knows? I lose track of her for years at a time.”
“Is it just men?”
“I don’t know. That’s all I’ve seen, but I don’t know.”
Stanton hesitated. What he was about to ask might cut deep, and he wanted to be as gentle as possible. “Abuse is pretty common in the backgrounds of people like your sister. Was there abuse in your home, Heidi?”
She was silent a long time.
“We had a grandfather that was… yes, yes, there was abuse. My grandfather was into sadism. We found sadistic pornography at his house one day when he was babysitting us. I think he did things to Heather when we were young.”
Stanton nodded. He wasn’t about to ask if Heidi had had the same things done to her.
“When I meet her on Tuesday, we’re going to arrest her. I’ll have a mic, and a SWAT team will be nearby. Is she going to be armed?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. Guns aren’t her style. Maybe a knife.”
“Is she going to fight me?”
Heidi nodded. “She’ll fight for her life. I don’t think you should do it, Jon. You’re a nice guy, but she’s not human. Whatever you think is going to happen, won’t. She’ll see you from a mile away. She’s too smart.”
“I have to try.” He rose. “I better go. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have a babysitter for.”
She watched the ocean. “You can spend the night. If you want, I mean.”
A burst of emotion churned his gut and, without thinking, he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. It was sweet from the whipped cream. He pulled away, and the two of them held each other’s gaze.
“I can’t…” he said.
“Maybe some other time.”
“Maybe.”
Stanton walked down the porch steps and back to his jeep.
What was that
, he thought.